cameron8500
Feb 20, 2011, 05:17 AM
My daughter just turned 15. I was not in her life from 5 til13. Her mother and I split back in 2001. There was an incident involving domestic violence. We split her mother got married. My parental rights were terminated and the new husband was allowed to adopt my daughter. There was never an issue with my child. Through out the years I would right letter asking if my daughter and I could have a relationship. The custodial mother denied my request. In Nov 09 the custodial mother finally felt it was time for my daughter and I to meet. We met and our first meeting was great my daughter shared a lot about herself. She shared to me she smokes cigarettes, tried ecstasy, marijuana, and did what other kids do for fun take a lot of tylenol to get high. I took in the alarming news. I shared the information with her mother. At this point I went into over protective dad mode cause I was worried about my daughters life. Don't get me wrong her mom is a good mother she I guess can't watch her all the time.
I told her mother that I would be willing and free go see my daughter when ever she needed me. She replied your daughter doesn't need another one she has one... and that my daughters sole purpose was to meet her biological father.
Well from November to say march... my daughter and I saw each other about 5x each time I would always have a nice gift for her or some money. I felt at times I was an ATM... I wanted her to feel special... but the relationship was not developing. She openly stated that she has a father and I should not try to be her dad. This hurt.
I often told her I never turned my back on her and never would... she my princess and I will always have a life-long commitment to her no matter what.
After a while her mother and I began to bicker slightly... my daughter then lashed out at me... because of past and what she had heard. She also told me she ashamed that she has to go through life knowing I am her father.
We all cut off communications with one another. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.
I realized that that I have to be smart and patient; as a child she doesn't yet understand people change if they want to.. and I worked really hard at becoming a better man, better employee, just a better everything. I told her do not live in the past- we cannot change it no matter how we try.
Her birthday was early this month so I sent her only a birthday card. Two days later I sent her another card with a prepaid dollar amount on it. I sent her 2 dozen mixed bouquet of roses for valentines... told her no matter what we go through she will always be my princess.
This week I sent her a message on myspace and requested to add her on as my friend (lol)... I also told her I miss her and love her more than anything and because I never want to let her down again... she has always been my reason for growing and being a better man.
Today I got the message she added me on her friends list. That was like the best news I could receive. She did not send me any message or any thing just the acceptance.
I had been emailing her mother for a month or so to open once again the lines of communication... but she never responded. I also apologized for coming out like she was a
taking proper care of our daughter. I also asked her to allow me to show my daughter a nice vacation come school break time. I told her I would pay both their ways to a caribbean vacation and everything would be on me... I just want my daughter to have fond memories of me.
I don't know how to approach this issue. My daughter seems happier when both of us (biological parents) are there she not totally comfortable with me alone. That will come with time. Another issue is I moved from Michigan to Texas my daughter lives in Michigan so I feel a vacation wld be a great idea if we could all come to such an agreement. Any suggestions on how make this desire to come existence would be great. Ultimately I want my daughter to enjoy and respect me as her father.
I told her mother that I would be willing and free go see my daughter when ever she needed me. She replied your daughter doesn't need another one she has one... and that my daughters sole purpose was to meet her biological father.
Well from November to say march... my daughter and I saw each other about 5x each time I would always have a nice gift for her or some money. I felt at times I was an ATM... I wanted her to feel special... but the relationship was not developing. She openly stated that she has a father and I should not try to be her dad. This hurt.
I often told her I never turned my back on her and never would... she my princess and I will always have a life-long commitment to her no matter what.
After a while her mother and I began to bicker slightly... my daughter then lashed out at me... because of past and what she had heard. She also told me she ashamed that she has to go through life knowing I am her father.
We all cut off communications with one another. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.
I realized that that I have to be smart and patient; as a child she doesn't yet understand people change if they want to.. and I worked really hard at becoming a better man, better employee, just a better everything. I told her do not live in the past- we cannot change it no matter how we try.
Her birthday was early this month so I sent her only a birthday card. Two days later I sent her another card with a prepaid dollar amount on it. I sent her 2 dozen mixed bouquet of roses for valentines... told her no matter what we go through she will always be my princess.
This week I sent her a message on myspace and requested to add her on as my friend (lol)... I also told her I miss her and love her more than anything and because I never want to let her down again... she has always been my reason for growing and being a better man.
Today I got the message she added me on her friends list. That was like the best news I could receive. She did not send me any message or any thing just the acceptance.
I had been emailing her mother for a month or so to open once again the lines of communication... but she never responded. I also apologized for coming out like she was a
taking proper care of our daughter. I also asked her to allow me to show my daughter a nice vacation come school break time. I told her I would pay both their ways to a caribbean vacation and everything would be on me... I just want my daughter to have fond memories of me.
I don't know how to approach this issue. My daughter seems happier when both of us (biological parents) are there she not totally comfortable with me alone. That will come with time. Another issue is I moved from Michigan to Texas my daughter lives in Michigan so I feel a vacation wld be a great idea if we could all come to such an agreement. Any suggestions on how make this desire to come existence would be great. Ultimately I want my daughter to enjoy and respect me as her father.