Let me start by saying we dated back when I was 16.. I'm 28 now... Years past but he kept in touch every so often.. and I would tell him that it was funny that after all these years.. I still had love for him.. and he would tell me the same... But this year he sent me pictures of stuff I sent him when I was 16. All my letters and pictures he kept of me.. So he went to Florida to attend school.. And asked for me to come down to see him.. So needless to say I went down there.. He kind of hurt my feelings.. By telling everyone I was the love of his life at one point.. and he made sure he pointed out pictures of his new girlfriend.. which he never talked about before hand.. But it got heated and yes we did thing the whole time I was down there... he would ask if I missed him and I would say yes.. He would rub my face like he was holding a memory of some sort.. and put his arm around me saying if I knew how long he waited to hold me.. when I left I had asked him if he was single would he give me another chance he says yes.. but then it seems like every time.. I open my mouth I am saying something he doesn't like so then he won't speak with me until he feels like it.. and it's like two words.. I just don't know what I should do.. Should I just try to forget about him and move on.. He was my first love.. And I haven't been able to love someone like I loved him.. I am just not sure anymore!

As the saying goes, he's "having his cake and eating it" basically. Forget about this guy, there are plenty more fish in the sea so to speak. Do not lower yourself to being with someone who holds you as second best. You should feel that you are worth more than that. I advise you cut all contact with this heartless, greedy, selfish guy and look for someone who will respect you completely and treat you how you deserve to be treated. :)
Hope this helps
Claire

You are so right.. my head tells me to do just that.. but then my damn heart says a different thing... I wish I could just shake it so it would lose the love.. and so I am able to move on.. I just hope it will pass soon..

What is your gut instinct telling you? Gut instincts always seem to be right in my experience. You will shake it in time, trust me. Just got to have a lot of patience and good friends around you to support you when you are feeling down or feel like just giving in. Guys like this make me so angry, they treat women like s**t and try and palm the blame off onto them, then the woman end ups feeling insecure and as though they need that person to be happy. So manipulative. Well I will tell you this, you don't NEED this guy, he wants to make you feel as though you do, but seriously, you don't. He will just play with your heart. There are many more men out there that would show you the respect and love that you deserve, you just wait and see. :)

You're doing everything for him and on his time. It's time to cut ties with him and move on. You don't need him stringing you along. And you can't and won't be happy with someone else until you cut him out of your life.

Why does it matter what your ex thinks when you have had a boyfriend for four years (I won't post the link to her Adult Sexuality thread due to adult language in the title)?

Are you currently in an exclusive relationship?

Of course you will never love anyone like you did him. Each relationship is different. Comparing them is unfair to the person you are currently with because it isn't a person he is competing against but a ghost of relationship. First Love is strong, but it isn't your 'only' or 'last' love.

You have been holding on to an ideal of what the past was. Perhaps now you see that he wasn't as great as you remembered and you can stop allowing the past to control how you feel in the present.

I know you love him, and have a long time, but its time to tell your heart to shut the hell up and leave the fantasy world for real life.

You are not a 16 year old kid anymore, and what was then is old news and put it where it belongs, with the rest of your child hood memories.

Disappear from his life and get a healthy adult relationship. He is no longer that great love he use to be and if you leave him alone and get on with your life, you will be happier.

Love doesn't make sense with unworthy partner.