About two nights ago, I was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but I stopped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if I did indeed. If I really lost it then I have no life left I might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!

If you did not have actual intercourse then you did not lose your virginity. You might of lost your hymen. Losing your hymen before being sexually active is common. You can lose it using a tampon, riding a horse, on a snowmobile. Any place that might cause concussion to your vagina.

This is just my opinion and take from it what you will... but if you are afraid to lose your virginity perhaps you are not ready to have sex yet.

Hi Ogai,
You received some excellent answers in this post here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/loosing-virginity-55341.html

But to answer your question, you are still a virgin until you have engaged in penile-vaginal intercourse. I agree, the bleeding you are experiencing may possibly be due to tearing of your hymen -- here is an excellent article explaining such:

The Hymen - Not The Indicator of Virginity (http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm)

Though if the pain you are currently experiencing continues, or you continue to experience bleeding -- particularly heavier bleeding, more than spotting, I would suggest you be examined by a doctor, just to make sure nothing else is going on.
You have nothing to worry about at present regarding your virginity. But that aside, suicide is never really an answer. It is quite possible to commit oneself wholly to someone, even without one's virginity intact.
Do be safe in exploring your sexuality. Take care.

How old are you ?

I am 20

ogai,
Please ignore kevin's answers. As the others have told you, you have not lost your virginity. But I also suggest you put less emphasis on it. A study was recently published that indicated the large majority of people did not enter marriage as a virgin. If your current boyfriend is the one you will marry, then he was a part of whatever you did, so it shouldn't matter to him. If he will not be the one you marry, anyone you marry should not care if you are a virgin or not if they truly love you.

But kevin guess what?

The day we did that I knew it was my period date so later on the day I got on my period. And today is the third day. Now I believe it is not the lost of my virgnity or hymen it sure is my period, but the reason I came to this website is just to get some relaxation and get over with my phobia and worries about losing my virginity or hymen. I hope it is just my period nothing else.

virginity is my life. Take my life but leave me virgine. That's my messege to every man except for my future husband.

If your period was due, this is likely all you are experiencing. And like Scott said, just ignore Kevin's remarks.

No my dear it didn't hurt me, but it did give me that crampy feelings in my stomach and as usual my back pain increased more when you said it. Not because of that it is my period and your words.

Man who cares as long as your culture, family, and religion don't care about virginity and having sex before marriage. I am muslim, my family, my future husband, myself, and my culture care about the virginity and I hope and believe that I am a virgine. So let's hope for the best.

If you need help as well, please state your question in a new thread and we'll do our best to help. That's why we're here. But please don't attempt to cause unnecessary and false concerns with other posters asking sincere questions.

Ogai, I do understand that your culture may take a slightly more formal stance upon issues regarding courtship and marriage -- though by the near universally accepted definition, you are still a virgin. I do not know how your culture views other premarital activity, though I sincerely doubt you have much to fear.

Frankly, Ogai, I really think you are splitting hairs here. If you are that religious you shouldn't have gone so far as "fingering". If losing your virginity would cause you to commit suicide, then why do ANYTHING that you think might risk it?

No, I'm sorry, but either you believe that premarital relations is wrong or you don't. It really doesn't matter how far you have gone. Once you go beyond kissing, then run afoul of your religious beliefs.

You do sound a little over worried and I respect you as worrying about the virginity matter in relation 2 your religion ignore that guys comments, that was down right wrong 2 say such things.You are a virgin until you have the full sexual intercourse and don't let anyone tell you otherwise good luck with your sexual life and I hope that you just watch yourself in not doing the full business until you are ready x

About two nights ago, i was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but i stoped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if i did indeed. If i really lost it then i have no life left i might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!!
If indeed you loss your virginity,it doesn't mean you have no life .I understand how you feel ,but if at all you loss "it"talk to your guy about it and you both can talk it out nicely.

About two nights ago, i was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but i stoped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if i did indeed. If i really lost it then i have no life left i might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!!
You might need to slow down

All right this really doesn't count as an answer but being a 20 year old muslim who clearly cares a great deal about your faith then maybe you should stay a virgin by avoiding any sexual contact!! Probably the best way to ensure your virginity! And as for suicide your religion looks down on it rather heavily so if I were to take my chances the losing of my virginity would win over suicide any day! Oh well that's my rant finished!

I don't think you lost your virginity ,this bleeding can be due any other cause or may be cz your boyfrend fingered you hard.
Well don't worry,things will go all right.u will bleed the wedding night as well. Cz if your periods were due then its very likely to bleed if he fingered you.

Omg I am sure you are a vergin so don't worriee.. and I am not muslim but I am chaldean I am sure you know what that is and we can't lose our verginity until marriage too.. so it sucks... but even if I went horse back riding or anything and lost my hyphen and did not bleed when I getmarried tmy husband would probably get devorced with me... so that's why when I get bf's I never do anything with them.. :(... so yeah... but I don't understand why we are like this... I mean doesn't it bother you too.. I thinkthe man we end up marryin should except us for whom we are..
Anywhome I can relate to your situation so if you want to talk more about it comment me back or something :)

You are still a virgin.

A sore virgin. A worried virgin. A fingered virgin. A not quite 100% chaste virgin. A horny virgin. An anxious virgin. A sexually active virgin. A suicidal virgin. An online virgin. A seemingly in-love virgin. And hopefully relieved virgin.

But yes, still a virgin.

Wow, don't think about it like that. If I thought about it like that- do you know how depressed I would be about losing my virginity at 13 to a tampon?? Being fingered and having sex is a totally different feeling physically and definantly emotioinaly. You still have something to look forward to!

I completely understand how you feel though. It seems like he went too far, without you wanting him to. It's always hard to stop a guy, it's hard to say no before it's too late. I wanted to save it for marriage desperately, but unfortunately lost it last year- simply in the heat of the moment.

Regardless, he loves you. You love him. YOU'RE IN LOVE! Come, on- you're experiencing the best part of life, you have no reason to end your life just because it may or may not have happened before a ceremony.

no my dear it didn't hurt me, but it did give me that crampy feelings in my stomach and as usual my back pain increased more when you said it. not because of that it is my period and your words.

Man who cares as long as your culture, family, and religion don't care about virginity and havin sex before marriage. I am muslim, my family, my future husband, myself, and my culture care about the virginity and i hope and believe that i am a virgine. So let's hope for the best.
All women care about their virginity regardless of our culture, family, and religion.

Thomas is very much right, if your periods date was due then he might have opened your depths to make you bleed,otherwise there isn't any chance of losing the virginity with fingering



Don't WORRY GIRL, I have known it and am sure fingering can't take virginity.so just chill around.
Something that's important to tell you is that, only insertion of man's flesh can break the hymen and nothing else .the finger isn't that thick to rupture it.
Don't worry it is intact,but be careful about your relations next time.

And onething other that is important is that; TODAY IN THIS MODERN AGE GOING, MORE IMPORTANT IS TO BE LOYAL AFTER YOUR MARRIAGE TO A MAN, IF IT IS THIS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE UNTOUCHED FOR YOUR HUSBAND. Don't YOU THINK HE SHOULD BE THE SAME AS HE WANTS YOU TO BE... TODAY MEN AWARD technicality and pleasures and they want ou to stick to them after marriage, before that you can have a relation and he might as well had it and how far did he go or you go ,must not be the issue.

SO BE CONFIDENT AND IMPORTANT IN YOUR Existence, YOUR INTACT VIRGINITY IS NOT THE KEY OR LOGO OF YOUR LOYALITY. It is not for you only it is for all girls reading this post.

MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES.