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    ogai's Avatar
    ogai Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:06 PM
    Scared of losing my virginity before wedding night!!
    About two nights ago, I was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but I stopped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if I did indeed. If I really lost it then I have no life left I might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
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    #2

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:25 PM
    If you did not have actual intercourse then you did not lose your virginity. You might of lost your hymen. Losing your hymen before being sexually active is common. You can lose it using a tampon, riding a horse, on a snowmobile. Any place that might cause concussion to your vagina.

    This is just my opinion and take from it what you will... but if you are afraid to lose your virginity perhaps you are not ready to have sex yet.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
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    #3

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:30 PM
    Hi Ogai,
    You received some excellent answers in this post here:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ity-55341.html

    But to answer your question, you are still a virgin until you have engaged in penile-vaginal intercourse. I agree, the bleeding you are experiencing may possibly be due to tearing of your hymen -- here is an excellent article explaining such:

    The Hymen - Not The Indicator of Virginity

    Though if the pain you are currently experiencing continues, or you continue to experience bleeding -- particularly heavier bleeding, more than spotting, I would suggest you be examined by a doctor, just to make sure nothing else is going on.
    You have nothing to worry about at present regarding your virginity. But that aside, suicide is never really an answer. It is quite possible to commit oneself wholly to someone, even without one's virginity intact.
    Do be safe in exploring your sexuality. Take care.
    kevin4u's Avatar
    kevin4u Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:30 PM
    How old are you ?
    ogai's Avatar
    ogai Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:32 PM
    I am 20
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #6

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:43 PM
    ogai,
    Please ignore kevin's answers. As the others have told you, you have not lost your virginity. But I also suggest you put less emphasis on it. A study was recently published that indicated the large majority of people did not enter marriage as a virgin. If your current boyfriend is the one you will marry, then he was a part of whatever you did, so it shouldn't matter to him. If he will not be the one you marry, anyone you marry should not care if you are a virgin or not if they truly love you.
    ogai's Avatar
    ogai Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:51 PM
    But kevin guess what?

    The day we did that I knew it was my period date so later on the day I got on my period. And today is the third day. Now I believe it is not the lost of my virgnity or hymen it sure is my period, but the reason I came to this website is just to get some relaxation and get over with my phobia and worries about losing my virginity or hymen. I hope it is just my period nothing else.
    ogai's Avatar
    ogai Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:57 PM
    virginity is my life. Take my life but leave me virgine. That's my messege to every man except for my future husband.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
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    #9

    Jan 17, 2007, 12:58 PM
    If your period was due, this is likely all you are experiencing. And like Scott said, just ignore Kevin's remarks.
    ogai's Avatar
    ogai Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jan 17, 2007, 01:03 PM
    No my dear it didn't hurt me, but it did give me that crampy feelings in my stomach and as usual my back pain increased more when you said it. Not because of that it is my period and your words.

    Man who cares as long as your culture, family, and religion don't care about virginity and having sex before marriage. I am muslim, my family, my future husband, myself, and my culture care about the virginity and I hope and believe that I am a virgine. So let's hope for the best.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
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    #11

    Jan 17, 2007, 01:04 PM
    If you need help as well, please state your question in a new thread and we'll do our best to help. That's why we're here. But please don't attempt to cause unnecessary and false concerns with other posters asking sincere questions.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
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    #12

    Jan 17, 2007, 01:16 PM
    Ogai, I do understand that your culture may take a slightly more formal stance upon issues regarding courtship and marriage -- though by the near universally accepted definition, you are still a virgin. I do not know how your culture views other premarital activity, though I sincerely doubt you have much to fear.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #13

    Jan 17, 2007, 01:31 PM
    Frankly, Ogai, I really think you are splitting hairs here. If you are that religious you shouldn't have gone so far as "fingering". If losing your virginity would cause you to commit suicide, then why do ANYTHING that you think might risk it?

    No, I'm sorry, but either you believe that premarital relations is wrong or you don't. It really doesn't matter how far you have gone. Once you go beyond kissing, then run afoul of your religious beliefs.
    lil_mandy's Avatar
    lil_mandy Posts: 36, Reputation: 5
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    #14

    Jan 17, 2007, 02:06 PM
    You do sound a little over worried and I respect you as worrying about the virginity matter in relation 2 your religion ignore that guys comments, that was down right wrong 2 say such things.You are a virgin until you have the full sexual intercourse and don't let anyone tell you otherwise good luck with your sexual life and I hope that you just watch yourself in not doing the full business until you are ready x
    MIMI123's Avatar
    MIMI123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jan 18, 2007, 11:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ogai
    About two nights ago, i was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but i stoped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if i did indeed. If i really lost it then i have no life left i might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!!
    If indeed you loss your virginity,it doesn't mean you have no life .I understand how you feel ,but if at all you loss "it"talk to your guy about it and you both can talk it out nicely.
    midnightechdesigns's Avatar
    midnightechdesigns Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Jan 19, 2007, 10:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ogai
    About two nights ago, i was out to San Francisco with my boyfriend on the beach in a car. We both got aroused but we didn't have sex all he did was fingering. He did it a few times and wanted to go deep but i stoped him. Ever since that night it hurts so much and it keeps bleeding but very less. I am very scared of losing my virginity. I want to find out if i did indeed. If i really lost it then i have no life left i might commite suicide. Need Help! Urgent Plzzz!!!
    You might need to slow down
    Rustyboy4's Avatar
    Rustyboy4 Posts: 2, Reputation: 3
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    #17

    Jan 19, 2007, 07:33 PM
    All right this really doesn't count as an answer but being a 20 year old muslim who clearly cares a great deal about your faith then maybe you should stay a virgin by avoiding any sexual contact!! Probably the best way to ensure your virginity! And as for suicide your religion looks down on it rather heavily so if I were to take my chances the losing of my virginity would win over suicide any day! Oh well that's my rant finished!
    sovaira's Avatar
    sovaira Posts: 271, Reputation: 10
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    #18

    Jun 17, 2007, 01:58 PM
    I don't think you lost your virginity ,this bleeding can be due any other cause or may be cz your boyfrend fingered you hard.
    Well don't worry,things will go all right.u will bleed the wedding night as well. Cz if your periods were due then its very likely to bleed if he fingered you.
    martoesh4's Avatar
    martoesh4 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jul 26, 2007, 03:21 PM
    Omg I am sure you are a vergin so don't worriee.. and I am not muslim but I am chaldean I am sure you know what that is and we can't lose our verginity until marriage too.. so it sucks... but even if I went horse back riding or anything and lost my hyphen and did not bleed when I getmarried tmy husband would probably get devorced with me... so that's why when I get bf's I never do anything with them.. :(... so yeah... but I don't understand why we are like this... I mean doesn't it bother you too.. I thinkthe man we end up marryin should except us for whom we are..
    Anywhome I can relate to your situation so if you want to talk more about it comment me back or something :)
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #20

    Jul 26, 2007, 07:15 PM
    You are still a virgin.

    A sore virgin. A worried virgin. A fingered virgin. A not quite 100% chaste virgin. A horny virgin. An anxious virgin. A sexually active virgin. A suicidal virgin. An online virgin. A seemingly in-love virgin. And hopefully relieved virgin.

    But yes, still a virgin.

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