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Kristy40
Jan 9, 2007, 12:38 PM
Hey everyone,
Just wanting some feedback.
I'm 30 years old dating a 40 yr old for the past 15 months. In my previous relationship my boyfriend and I had a lot of sex. In the current one, it happens about 2 times a month. He only has an orgasm if I pleasure him orally. I don't think my boyfriend is physically attracted to me. I have never felt that way in any other relationship but this one. I eventually found out that he was more attraced to another race in which women were short and petite. (prefer not mention the race).

We are such great friends and I know he loves me, I'm actually OK not having the sex (not meaning I don't like it though!)as I will just masturbate but my insecurities are driving me insane as to whether he is truly being satisfied. I have asked him and he says that he is TOTALLY attracted to me and there is not problem. My intuition tells me otherwise.

Any feedback is appreciated.
Thanks everyone.

dwickes
Jan 9, 2007, 02:50 PM
As the book says, He's just not that into you or he's gay.

nwsflash
Jan 9, 2007, 02:54 PM
A lot of times what we feel deep down in our bellys is what is really going on! You need to have a good long talk with this guy and tell him the way you are feeling.

In a relationship you need to always have very good communication our things start to go down hill.

kents5773
Jan 9, 2007, 02:57 PM
First thing you must realize that men's sexual peak is around age 18 and women's is around age 30. In fact many men over the age 40 lose most if not all sex drive, espicially if they are taking some certain prescription medication. So it takes more or different to get him to become aroused enough to orgasm.

You are in your peak and he is 20 years past. He may be totally attracted to you but his libido is past it's prime.

phillysteakandcheese
Jan 9, 2007, 02:59 PM
Every guy has a "fantasy woman". Rarely will a wife or girlfriend fully match that fantasy, but it doesn't mean a guy does not love his wife or girlfriend, or will cheat on her as soon as a "closer match" comes along.

If the guy is respectable and trustworthy - and you should know this after 15 months - then trust him when he tells you there is no problem.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 9, 2007, 04:30 PM
Many men around 40 or so loose a lot of sex drive and if he is on medication for all sorts of things, it can be even worst.

Why do you think all of those adds for those wonder pills are on TV.

It can be any manner of things, normally in a relationship if there is a problem the first call is for him to go to a doctor for a complete exam to check to see if everything is working right