usernameX
Aug 9, 2010, 08:42 AM
Sorry for the lengthy story.
Went out with this girl for 1.5 years. I was a good relationship but we had our ups and downs like many others. She was smart, kind, and had a great relationship with God and others. She broke up with me after our year and six ani because she grew tired of the relationship and I was devastated.
She was my first love and girlfriend. After the break up, she told everyone is was a mutual break (she wanted to protect herself) and we talked a little and it was nice and everything but it was painful as hell. She was showing mixed signals and I had hope that we'll get back together.
All of a sudden, my ex began acting cold and *****y. She began initiating contact and sending me weird messages and ending conversations early. We also attended a mutual friend's party and she was acting weird according to some of my friends and even avoided me (I wasn't planning on talking to her though). Her birthday comes around and I wish her happy birthday. She then tells me that her birthday was the worst one ever and she wanted me to help her stop crying. I quickly got into my car and drove to her house. It was her birthday, people will remember crappy b-days forever. I comforted her and we watched a movie. I even gave her a b-day card and a foot rub :P She was pretty distant from me and kept on asking if I was comfortable and feeling all right being there. She kept on saying "if you feel uncomfortable, you can go now." and she kept on bring up the fact that we're not lovers anymore. I decided to leave and she gave me a good bye hug and told me that I was invited to her pool party that was later on that week. Later on she texted me good night and that I saved her from having a ****ty b-day.
I attend her pool party and she was distant from me again and she was ignoring me. Ummm okay... then this is when everything turned bad. A mutual friend arrives and sees me. He's REALLY surprised I'm there. He asked "are you too friends now?" "Do you have feelings for her still?" I then told him yes and he told me something I wish I never heard. He told me "Dude, she's kinda whoring around now. She hooked up with a guy at *her friend's name* party 2 weeks ago." I was PO'd at the middle of her party and I looked at her with disgust. Her friend's party was only 3 weeks after the break up. He then told me that she's hanging with the party crowd, is drinking and smoking, and that my ex spoke to him during the party and that she gave him the idea that they're still involved, maybe as FWB.
The whole party, I was visibly disgusted and angry (I should've left right away) and my ex was wondering if I was okay. After the party left, I gave her one more birthday card and I left. I just said good bye without looking at her. Inside the card was a second chance letter and the card was a special one that she had her eye on when we were going out. I drove home very angry and I told my brother and my parents about my ex's recent activities.
The next night, she calls me saying she doesn't want to reconcile and doesn't want me to talk to her for the rest of the summer. I told her I was aware of her recent activities and she was speechless. Like she was trying to hide it from me. She kept on asking "who told you?" and I remained silent. I told her that I was surprised but there was nothing I could do about it anymore. I said my final good-bye and she kept on throwing the whole "everything happens for a reason" and "first love, first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything" crap at me.
So I've been on NC since and it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. During my run, she broke it 4 times. She wished me happy birthday. In her message, she said that compared to the gifts in the past, this one was the lamest and that whatever I heard about her could be true but to remember that I know the real her. Then she later texted me hoping that I read the letter. Then a few weeks later she texted asking "when are we gonna be friends again? :(" and she tried skyping me a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's trying to do. I don't know if she wants to be friends for real or is just feeling guilty and wants to be friends just so she won't feel that way anymore. I haven't replied to any of her responses. And also, I want her back. I know it's crazy but I do. I'm aware of all the stuff she has done to me, but I'm still in love with her. She is a very insecure and indecisive girl and I think that's the reason why she's doing all these things. She is and was very concerned about her weight and what people thought of her. She also thinks she's not very smart. Am I crazy for wanting her back? What should I do? So I try too?
Went out with this girl for 1.5 years. I was a good relationship but we had our ups and downs like many others. She was smart, kind, and had a great relationship with God and others. She broke up with me after our year and six ani because she grew tired of the relationship and I was devastated.
She was my first love and girlfriend. After the break up, she told everyone is was a mutual break (she wanted to protect herself) and we talked a little and it was nice and everything but it was painful as hell. She was showing mixed signals and I had hope that we'll get back together.
All of a sudden, my ex began acting cold and *****y. She began initiating contact and sending me weird messages and ending conversations early. We also attended a mutual friend's party and she was acting weird according to some of my friends and even avoided me (I wasn't planning on talking to her though). Her birthday comes around and I wish her happy birthday. She then tells me that her birthday was the worst one ever and she wanted me to help her stop crying. I quickly got into my car and drove to her house. It was her birthday, people will remember crappy b-days forever. I comforted her and we watched a movie. I even gave her a b-day card and a foot rub :P She was pretty distant from me and kept on asking if I was comfortable and feeling all right being there. She kept on saying "if you feel uncomfortable, you can go now." and she kept on bring up the fact that we're not lovers anymore. I decided to leave and she gave me a good bye hug and told me that I was invited to her pool party that was later on that week. Later on she texted me good night and that I saved her from having a ****ty b-day.
I attend her pool party and she was distant from me again and she was ignoring me. Ummm okay... then this is when everything turned bad. A mutual friend arrives and sees me. He's REALLY surprised I'm there. He asked "are you too friends now?" "Do you have feelings for her still?" I then told him yes and he told me something I wish I never heard. He told me "Dude, she's kinda whoring around now. She hooked up with a guy at *her friend's name* party 2 weeks ago." I was PO'd at the middle of her party and I looked at her with disgust. Her friend's party was only 3 weeks after the break up. He then told me that she's hanging with the party crowd, is drinking and smoking, and that my ex spoke to him during the party and that she gave him the idea that they're still involved, maybe as FWB.
The whole party, I was visibly disgusted and angry (I should've left right away) and my ex was wondering if I was okay. After the party left, I gave her one more birthday card and I left. I just said good bye without looking at her. Inside the card was a second chance letter and the card was a special one that she had her eye on when we were going out. I drove home very angry and I told my brother and my parents about my ex's recent activities.
The next night, she calls me saying she doesn't want to reconcile and doesn't want me to talk to her for the rest of the summer. I told her I was aware of her recent activities and she was speechless. Like she was trying to hide it from me. She kept on asking "who told you?" and I remained silent. I told her that I was surprised but there was nothing I could do about it anymore. I said my final good-bye and she kept on throwing the whole "everything happens for a reason" and "first love, first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything" crap at me.
So I've been on NC since and it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. During my run, she broke it 4 times. She wished me happy birthday. In her message, she said that compared to the gifts in the past, this one was the lamest and that whatever I heard about her could be true but to remember that I know the real her. Then she later texted me hoping that I read the letter. Then a few weeks later she texted asking "when are we gonna be friends again? :(" and she tried skyping me a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's trying to do. I don't know if she wants to be friends for real or is just feeling guilty and wants to be friends just so she won't feel that way anymore. I haven't replied to any of her responses. And also, I want her back. I know it's crazy but I do. I'm aware of all the stuff she has done to me, but I'm still in love with her. She is a very insecure and indecisive girl and I think that's the reason why she's doing all these things. She is and was very concerned about her weight and what people thought of her. She also thinks she's not very smart. Am I crazy for wanting her back? What should I do? So I try too?