I'm halfway throughout my school year and for the past 1.5 years, I haven't really been feeling like myself. My school offers the IB program, and stupidly I chose not to join it and now it's become the biggest regret I have. I thought everything would still be the same and that I'd still be learning the same things, just at a slower pace but really, I'm also missing on all the opportunities and experiences to grow as a person.

All the "smarter" students have joined the IB program and I was the only one that didn't. I've been put into the "normal" classes and most of the students don't put in a lot of effort into their work, nor care about their studies as much as I do. It's not that I hate them, but it's so difficult relating to them when they don't care or have the same interests or ambitions. It's also difficult to work with them in group projects because consistently, I've had the highest grades in all my classes and working with them usually just brings my mark down because I end up putting more effort in while the rest of them don't. I hate having to do most of the project because it's so stressful, and they end up getting the same mark as I do when they didn't put in the same amount of work... it happens all the time.

I feel like I'm not getting the social development I need and I certainly don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I'm disconnected from who I really am and that I'm "losing myself". I can't think clearly, I can't take in all the information from my textbooks anymore, I can't express how I'm really feeling and I'm having random breakdowns. I cry frequently because I feel so nervous. Every time I can't get a question or don't know the answer, I feel like I don't know anything and I start panicking in my mind, then I just shut down. Conversations don't flow as easily anymore and I feel like I'm losing everything. It's hard to take in information and piece it together now because my mind is so jumbled.

What should I do about this? If someone is willing to talk to me, please do. I'd really like someone I could talk about this with.

The first thing to do is some relaxation exercises,you sound stressed.

Have you talked to the tutors about going into the IB program?

Have you joined any groups with like minded people?

The transition is hard,but taking action will help you feel more in control.

If you cannot get into the program you want,how about next semister?

Work towards that,keep your grades up.

Are you socialising? Talking to friends about how your feeling,this will help you feel less isolated.

I am stressed and sometimes I don't even realize it. I haven't really had a "breath of fresh air" in a long time now because it's been like this for a long time.

I cannot go into the IB program since their class schedules are different from that of regular classes. There are no IB groups or such to join because they have different classes (together) and I don't have classes in common with them so there's not much I can talk about with them. I don't really know what to do. It's already too late to join. They invited me to join IB when I was in 9th grade and then there's a fixed schedule as to what classes will be taken at what time in IB and with my schedule, it's clear that I'm "behind" the IB students.

Although my grades are high, it still doesn't feel like enough. If I get an 85% and not a 90%, I'll start beating myself down. I used to be able to get by with 85% but now if I miss a question or don't understand something, everything feels useless.

I've talked to a few friends about this but they don't understand. It's hard for people to relate to someone who feels "isolated" in situations where everyone else has completely different ambitions than me.

Is there a career guidance councillor in your school,or your head teacher?

It may seem hopeless to you,but they have come across this before.

There are many personnal first for individuals,but rarely a situation occurs that you are completely alone in.

What you don't have right now are options,you need to get as much information on what you want to achieve,and the 'go to' person that help guide you.

Make the options!

Channel the stress energy into a positive,ask questions,make appointment with teachers to discuss your problem,take a mature and sincere approach and they will take you seriously.

Manageing your stress levels is vital to your mental and emotional health,make that top of your list,exercise,walk, run,find ways to burn off frustration,it releases feel good hormones and helps the brain with problem solving.

Positive thinking ,write down what to want to happen,write it in detail,and recongise how you feel when writing it,feel good and positive.

Drink water,a 2% drop in water in your body can affect your brains ability to remember. (I can post a link to that information if anyone needs it).

is there a career guidence councillor in your school,or your head teacher?

it may seem hopeless to you,but they have come across this before.

there are many personnal first for individuals,but rarely a situation occurs that you are completly alone in.

what you dont have right now are options,you need to get as much information on what you want to achieve,and the 'go to' person that help guide you.

make the options!

channel the stress energy into a positive,ask questions,make appointment with teachers to discuss your problem,take a mature and sincere approach and they will take you seriously.

manageing your stress levels is vital to your mental and emotional health,make that top of your list,exercise,walk, run,find ways to burn off frustration,it releases feel good hormones and helps the brain with problem solving.

positive thinking ,write down what to want to happen,write it in detail,and recongise how you feel when writing it,feel good and positive.

drink water,a 2% drop in water in your body can affect your brains ability to remember. (i can post a link to that information if anyone needs it).

A link would be nice.

I believe I'll be making an appointment with the counselor some time soon. I feel nervous as to talking about my situation because it seems so ridiculous. But thanks for your input.

snopes.com: Eight Glasses of Water a Day (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/8glasses.asp)

Its not a little problem,it's a big deal for you,that's makes it a big problem for you.

Take action, gather information,be pro active in problem solving this,and you will start to feel a lot better.

I posted the wrong link,bear with me!

snopes.com: Eight Glasses of Water a Day (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/8glasses.asp)

Let that be a lesson to me,check the FULL content of links,my apoligies.