SlateGray
Feb 13, 2010, 01:03 PM
I'm halfway throughout my school year and for the past 1.5 years, I haven't really been feeling like myself. My school offers the IB program, and stupidly I chose not to join it and now it's become the biggest regret I have. I thought everything would still be the same and that I'd still be learning the same things, just at a slower pace but really, I'm also missing on all the opportunities and experiences to grow as a person.
All the "smarter" students have joined the IB program and I was the only one that didn't. I've been put into the "normal" classes and most of the students don't put in a lot of effort into their work, nor care about their studies as much as I do. It's not that I hate them, but it's so difficult relating to them when they don't care or have the same interests or ambitions. It's also difficult to work with them in group projects because consistently, I've had the highest grades in all my classes and working with them usually just brings my mark down because I end up putting more effort in while the rest of them don't. I hate having to do most of the project because it's so stressful, and they end up getting the same mark as I do when they didn't put in the same amount of work... it happens all the time.
I feel like I'm not getting the social development I need and I certainly don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I'm disconnected from who I really am and that I'm "losing myself". I can't think clearly, I can't take in all the information from my textbooks anymore, I can't express how I'm really feeling and I'm having random breakdowns. I cry frequently because I feel so nervous. Every time I can't get a question or don't know the answer, I feel like I don't know anything and I start panicking in my mind, then I just shut down. Conversations don't flow as easily anymore and I feel like I'm losing everything. It's hard to take in information and piece it together now because my mind is so jumbled.
What should I do about this? If someone is willing to talk to me, please do. I'd really like someone I could talk about this with.
All the "smarter" students have joined the IB program and I was the only one that didn't. I've been put into the "normal" classes and most of the students don't put in a lot of effort into their work, nor care about their studies as much as I do. It's not that I hate them, but it's so difficult relating to them when they don't care or have the same interests or ambitions. It's also difficult to work with them in group projects because consistently, I've had the highest grades in all my classes and working with them usually just brings my mark down because I end up putting more effort in while the rest of them don't. I hate having to do most of the project because it's so stressful, and they end up getting the same mark as I do when they didn't put in the same amount of work... it happens all the time.
I feel like I'm not getting the social development I need and I certainly don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I'm disconnected from who I really am and that I'm "losing myself". I can't think clearly, I can't take in all the information from my textbooks anymore, I can't express how I'm really feeling and I'm having random breakdowns. I cry frequently because I feel so nervous. Every time I can't get a question or don't know the answer, I feel like I don't know anything and I start panicking in my mind, then I just shut down. Conversations don't flow as easily anymore and I feel like I'm losing everything. It's hard to take in information and piece it together now because my mind is so jumbled.
What should I do about this? If someone is willing to talk to me, please do. I'd really like someone I could talk about this with.