This guy my friend has been seeing for about 7 monthes brought to his attention one day that she wanted them to start dating, he said he agreed but wasn't ready for that right now. So they stopped talkn except for a few hi's and bye's. Then he contacted her after a month and they started talking again and he said that he liked her a lot but still wasn't ready for the relationship.
I should also mention that he told her first that he didn't want her just for sex, and that in fact it was her who was always initating it.

I told her that he's confused, and probably went through a bad relationship previously and that's why he is like that, or mayb he is just commitment phobe.
Pleasee Helpp! :)

Can you please explain more and type better.

When a guy says that he's not ready for a relationship, it means that he's not ready for a relationship, and the reason is none of your business. It's not going to happen, he's not "in the market," leave him alone, he's not interested. It doesn't take a scientific formula to find out what it means- relationships are not as complicated as you're making it out to be. Stop over-analyzing, and tell your friend to stop over-analyzing.

I am in disagreement with having sex outside of a relationship of sorts. I think that needs to stop. If it doesn't, there will be emotional involvement, and a big mess.

The last time I checked,saying they don't want to be in a relationship meant just that.
I suggest your friend stops being a friend with benefits and moves on.

Actually, and forgive my directness here, when a guy says he's not ready for a relationship it actually means:

With you as the potential partner, he's not motivated to "be ready for a relationship" yet.

Someone, somewhere, somewhen, will snap him out of this "not ready" phase, and it's apparently not you.

I agree with JB, when we say we aren't ready for a relationship, it usually means, not with you.

Im kind of going through a similar thing. I was with my boyfriend for 7 months. I began thinking maybe he wasn't over his ex (LDR 3 years - she text him out of the blue ending it then refused to speak to him). He got with me 3 months later and was open about his ex. By December he was withdrawing but whenever I asked him what's wrong, he'd say everything is fine and he was happy then would question my happiness.
After talking things through he admitted he wasn't over her but that he likes me. I told him I didn't think he should be with someone if he isn't over someone else. We didn't end things badly and he knew I still wanted things to work but when he sorts everything out. He told me he doesn't want to get back with her. Just that he had gone from hating her to just remembering the good times with her because he was having good times with me'.
Its such a frustrating situation. He hasn't dealt with it well cos he didn't want us to split. We were apart for 3 weeks, he randomly turned up at my house, called/text on Friday nights cos he couldn't 'bear the thought of me finding someone else'.
We met up the other day and he said he wants us to work and thinks we can if we 'take things slow and see how things develop'. Ive said yes cos I don't want to lose him and at least they'll be some distance between us so he can still work on his issues. But people say this is just so he can have what he had with me when we were in a relationship, but him not being committed. I don't know what to do? He seemed genuine when he spoke to me, looking me in the eyes when speaking and he's quite a shy awkward guy! He says he wants to go slow yet he was still quite touchy feely; putting his cold hands on my face and tickling me and play pushing me. He even called me by the nickname he normally does.
Anyone have any ideas? If a guy says 'he wants to take it slow with you' especially when you've already been in a relationship, what are the possible meanings, especially in my situation. I just don't want to get hurt again.
Thanks

Also I should add that we did move pretty fast last time (met each others families/friedns/lived at each others houses, contacted each other everyday lots/met up a lot. I just feel like it's a step back, is it worth it?

Mzz Debbie: I think the fact that he initated contact with her says something. He obviously likes her otherwise he wouldn't have bothered getting back in touch. The no contact for a month was his way out if he wanted. Maybe she shouldn't initate any physical stuff for the time being and see if he sticks around, if he doesn't then she'll know what he was wanting all along.

PInk please start your own thread to avoid confusion and to get better responses

Pinkinterlude,if you want advice on your own situation you should post your own thread.
Thanks.

Sorry, will do,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/ex-bf-take-things-slow-let-him-go-439363.html (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/ex-bf-take-things-slow-let-him-go-439363.html)

The guy I like likes me back and says I'm hot and everything but isn't ready for a relationship so I don't agree with all the others and he says he isn't sick of me and he's asked me if I was sick of him and I told him I wasn't, I honestly just think he isn't ready. It still might happen you just have to talk to him and don't push anything because that will push him away