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sergie
Dec 1, 2009, 06:37 PM
How the economic recession is going to affect us
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as R#PE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be R#PED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been R#PED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be R#PED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been R#PED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not R#PED and are staying on will receive as much SH*T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SH*T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH*T, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SH*T you can get.

Just Dahlia
Dec 1, 2009, 07:36 PM
Cute :)

mygirlsdad77
Dec 1, 2009, 07:56 PM
Nice. I would take all of the above if it meant I could retire at 40.

Catsmine
Dec 1, 2009, 08:19 PM
I have had considerable Special High Intensity Training during my career already. Additional Income for Dependants and Spouses would be welcome.

Unknown008
Dec 1, 2009, 10:18 PM
Lol! Nice acronyms! :) (wait, that's how they're called, right? :confused:)

mudweiser
Dec 1, 2009, 10:22 PM
Nice...