Threads merged

I was with my partner for two years. Lately he seemed depressed over his rather overbearing mother and finances. I kept asking him if we were OK and he said we were. I had to go away for a week and came home with swine flu so I was rather poorly. (we did not live together).over the phone we had an argument and he put the phone down on me as he does in such a situation.
I two days later finished with him but I regret this. But he won't speak to me and I'm heartbroken in bed and just crying. Please help. Thank you.

He sounds like he hasn't grown up and allows his mom to control him too much. Get better and get out and meet somebody that knows better how to act in a relationship.
A momma's boy + hanging up when he doesn't like the discussion=he hasn't grown up.

Thanks I know he is a mummy s boy.I hope I ll meet someone new when I'm ready.

How old are you?

I'm 46.

Yep in his 40's and still listening to mommy
You aren't going to get anywhere with that.

True I suppose. Just a question of getting over all the good memories then?
At least I ll not have to speak to mama again.

Yep when you marry momma's boys you marry mom as well

THat is horrible, as old as he is. He is entitled to his own life, it sounds to me like he is attached to his mommy's apron strings. Breakup in a relationship is horrible, and it hurts. Sorrry for you. Maybe he will wake up, and realize he made a huge mistake, but I don't think it would be anytime soon. Did you get along with her?

She runs his life. I managed to get on with her at first but fell out with her about two months ago when she tried to interfere with stuff that
Was none of her business

. Ride

It sounds to me he is aware of the situation with his mom controlling his life. He just needs to change things and get away from the situation. You mentioned he was upset about finances and his mom. He will stay stuck, unless he thinks for himself. That's very sad, that someone has that much control over someone.

Yes true. But one of the last things he said the last time we spoke was that he just wanted to run away so no one could find him.

Threads merged.

He won't have any contact with me and that's that. Its hard to go thro the pain alone. My friends are far away and I can't lean on my therapist 24/7 I just feel so all alone. My friends are busy and my son s got his own life. I wake up in tears every morning. I miss the good things and they were many.
In my life there have been so much chaos and I ve always had to sort it all on my own. Why?

Everybody has to sort out their own chaos alone. You've got a lot of pain now and with it you've got an opening. As hard as it is, look at what you can learn about the patterns in the chaos. There you will see what you create.

This will help: Amazon.com: I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead (9780307345301): Byron Katie, Michael Katz: Books (http://www.amazon.com/Need-Your-Love-Approval-Appreciation/dp/0307345300/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_2)

Tao

Thank you. Just having trouble coping at the moment.

thank you. Just having trouble coping at the moment.

The more you let this wash through you the more complete will be your release.

Let go.


Tao

You re making a lot of sense its just that I ve had three weeks of this and I thought it would start to get better.

you re making a lot of sense its just that i ve had three weeks of this and i thought it d start to get better.

Enough is enough, one thinks. But the schedule is within you. All I can suggest is to let it pass throughout your being, read the Katie book (You'll be glad you did), get some exercise, get to work, and when you have to cry, cry.

Tao

Thanks. I ll do my best.

It all takes time, it's going to take time to sort it all out but eventually the dust will settle and you will be feelings a little better each day.

Most of the time I believe that. (I dumped him) but there are so many good memories.

Threads merged.

Hi.not so much a question but a reflection. I left my partner of two years a couple of weeks ago-his mother runs his life and I couldn't take it anymore. Two days later I rang him thinking we could at least talk and find out if there was a chance of sorting it out. He yelled at me not to argue with him and not to contact him. So I haven't and here I am with my pain and sorrow and my memories of the good times. But-I m not contacting him-so I was doing NC BEFORE I knew what it was!
Thanks to everyone for your help.
Monica

I hope you take the time to read the stickies at the beginning of this forum. There are a lot of good suggestions, and insights, to help you heal, and move beyond your hurt, and pain.

There is a link below, in my signature.

Good for you.
Of course there are going to be painful times but you have to look forward to a better future without him.

Thanks again!stickies are very helpful.

Was doing so well and suddenly fell crashed again when my radio station played two of our songs in a row.hit off button but sad again. N C

Dontcha just hate it, when your up one minute, and down the next? Trust me, that's normal for us emotional human types.

You made me smile! Thank you.will stick to classic fm for music for a bit.:-).

I'm doing the nc I'm trying to keep busy but my head and my heart are out of sync here.
I dislike all the unasked for memories that flood my mind.

Update. 4 weeks or so into N C and not really counting the days.coping mostly and trying to make new friends.aware of all the things that were wrong and the few that were right.have had a number of hang ups from number withheld but not answered the phone.trying to work through what I need to change in order to allow myself a healthy relationship.and there s loads! Been on this great website a lot and read many of your stories-a great help.
All my best wishes to you all.

You have done well so far, just stick to it. I can tell by your other posts, you have learned much, and admire that your willing to pass it on to others. That's truly the healing path, in my book.

Thank you very much.its kind of you-and I'm sticking with both the N C and my trying to help others-its good to give.

A word of advice. Since this morning I ve had at least ten hang up calls from a withheld number.since I don't think that was anybody trying to sell me double glazing-yes this is ENGLAND- I ve changed my numbers.

I think your doing real well Monica and giving some great advice on this site.

Have a look at this site and let me know if you'd be interested in reading it and I can arrange to have a copy emailed to you...

Who Moved My Cheese? (http://www.whomovedmycheese.com/)

It's a quaint little book but with a very powerful message which I think might help you.

Good Luck
M

M thanks! What a great start to my day getting your message. Yes please would love the book. I'm doing rather well and don't even miss the ex that much-in fact relief is my current state of mind. All the best. Thanks again. Monica

Email address was deleted for your own safety, and should never be given out on a public forum, such as this. Use The PM system for privacy.

Ok all sent , let me know if you don't get it :)