I want to propose marriage to my girlfriend, but I cannot afford an engagement ring. Is there etiquette around this and/or how do I arrange a still heartfelt proposal?

Just ask her marry you, rings are not required

Hi, albie2,

You don't have to have a ring at the time of the proposal, some couples decide to wait and pick out a ring together, whilst others don't bother at all and save their money towards getting married.

However most girls would be proud to wear an engagement ring, as it is classed as a promise to marriage,but it is not essential and will in no way affect the answer that you hope your proposal of marriage will bring.

If the person loves you enough to marry eventually, then a ring will not make any difference.

Should this person just want a ring as a trophy, then they are not for you.

I wish you luck.

Just my opinion, but I'd save up and buy a ring, not even necessarily anything expensive, but a proposal without a ring, is like a boston crème donut without the crème.

A ring is symbolic, yes, but it is a special event. The engagement ring is as important in an engagement, as the wedding ring is in a wedding ceremony.

You wouldn't expect her to wait a few months for her birthday gift would you?

I would wait and get her a ring when you can afford it. Not to sound too materialistic, but do you want to announce your engagement to her family and friends with them looking for a ring, and you explaining you'll get her one later? I'd just avoid this awkwardness - perhaps in the meantime you can let he know your intentions, "I am saving so that I can ask you to marry me some day soon - don't loose patience with me, our time will come."

A woman in my office got engaged without a ring. She said he couldn't afford it but promised to get her one once they had the money.

At the time she said she wanted to get married anyway but it was really awkward telling people they were engaged etc.

4 years later, she still doesn't have a ring.

Moral of the story... get the ring first.

I remember hearing people making a paper ring and other people using other materials but tell her that you are planning to get her a real ring but you wanted to ask her and wanting to really want to marry her. Other wise wait until you have a ring being than you have a very confuse girl wondering if she engage or not.. the ring is a very important symbol... most girl do think about it..

Couple of suggestions ; 1.) buy a cubic zirconia ring or something similar ; something that resembles a real diamond, or 2.) perhaps you can obtain a diamond from a family heirloom (your mother could probably help you with this ; maybe she has a diamond that belonged to her mother or other ancestor) that you could have re-set ; it would not be terribly expensive as you would not be paying for the diamond, only for the labor to have it put into a ring setting.

Who will be paying for the wedding? When do you want to marry? How will you two survive?

If you can't afford a ring how can you afford to get married and be married.

No, the ring isn't the most important thing, but to me it's a symbol of commitment and proof that you can afford to spend your lives together.

Why not wait until you can afford a ring? It doesn't have to be expensive, but a ring should be offered, it's tradition.

Just my opinion. :)

"I am so sorry that I cannot afford a ring right now, but will you be my bride?" Tell her that when you have saved up enough money the two of you can go and pick out the ring together. That would make her feel good. Do not postpone asking her to marry you.

As someone else suggested you could try giving her a family heirloom if at all possible such as a grandmothers ring.

The importance of a ring really varies from woman to woman and I can't really say whether your girl would be at all disappointed without one.

You don't necessarily have to go out and spend several hundred on a ring. You can often get a nice, simple diamond ring for less then a hundred, if you look at the right times and in the right places. Jewelry stores often have great sales. You can even look online and you may very well find a great bargain ring.

As someone else suggested you could try giving her a family heirloom if at all possible such as a grandmothers ring.

The importance of a ring really varies from woman to woman and I can't really say whether or not your girl would be at all disappointed without one.

You don't necessarily have to go out and spend several hundred on a ring. You can often get a nice, simple diamond ring for less then a hundred, if you look at the right times and in the right places. Jewelry stores often have great sales. You can even look online and you may very well find a great bargain ring.

Exactly.

I looked on Ebay, there are tons of nice engagement rings, you can bid as high as you're willing to pay.

Who will be paying for the wedding? When do you want to marry? How will you two survive?

If you can't afford a ring how can you afford to get married and be married.

No, the ring isn't the most important thing, but to me it's a symbol of commitment and proof that you can afford to spend your lives together.

Why not wait until you can afford a ring? It doesn't have to be expensive, but a ring should be offered, it's tradition.

Just my opinion. :)

This is a very valid point. I understand couples wait months and sometimes years to get married, but do you actually have a plan to get a ring, and then later, pay for the wedding, a home together, etc.

Here are some of the engagement rings on Ebay right now. All at buy it now prices, under $5.

22545

22546

22547

22548

22549

No, none of them are real diamond, most of them are silver, but still, they're pretty and a sign that you mean business. :)

One thing you should never, ever do is rush engagement and marriage. If you are deeply in love with her and she with you then won't it be the same way in a few months when you can get her the ring that you would like to get her?

One thing you should never, ever do is rush engagement and marriage. If you are deeply in love with her and she with you then won't it be the same way in a few months when you can get her the ring that you would like to get her?

True, but hey, the ones I found are purty! ;)

I don't understand the importance of an engagement ring. I never wear mine - I don't want to have to worry about it so I keep it locked up.

My husband handed me a wedding ring when he proposed and said, "I want you to wear this on your left hand." I said, "It's a wedding ring," and he said, "Yes, I think you should marry me." I agreed with him.

On our first anniversary he gave me an engagement ring - which, as I said, I almost never wore/wear.

I don't understand the importance of an engagement ring. I never wear mine - I don't want to have to worry about it so I keep it locked up.

My husband handed me a wedding ring when he proposed and said, "I want you to wear this on your left hand." I said, "It's a wedding ring," and he said, "Yes, I think you should marry me." I agreed with him.

On our first anniversary he gave me an engagement ring - which, as I said, I almost never wore/wear.

My engagement ring is such that it locks into the wedding band. Alone neither one looks good, together it's beautiful. It's sort of like hubby and me. ;)

I never wanted an engagement ring either, but to my husband it was a sign that he was not only ready to commit to me, but financially stable enough to work together and build a life together.

We dated for over 3 years before we got engaged, we were engaged for over 18 months before we married. Fourteen years later, we're still together. :)

It's just a symbol, but to many people it's an important one. To me, if the girl didn't get a ring I always wonder how they'll survive financially.

It doesn't have to cost a bundle, it doesn't have to be the biggest and best, but something for her to look at and know that you've committed to her and only her.

I still like the ones I found on eBay. ;)

Yeah... the eBay ones are nice... but if you don't feel good getting her a non-real diamond ring, get her this eBay ring as a promise that when the time comes, you will get her a real one...

This way, she will still feel engaged and can look at her finger and think of the coming marriage... To me and my fiancé, the ring is more of a symbol our relationship than an actual ring, but she loves her ring... :)

I handed my boyfriend a bubble gum machine ring and told him this was good enough for me...
But pulling that on her may get your butt kicked to the dust.
Not something I'd advise... unless maybe she has that kind of sense of humor and doesn't care all that much about bling bling.

True, but hey, the ones I found are purty! ;)

My favorite is the top ring. May have to upgrade my bubble gum machine ring :D:p

my favorite is the top ring. may have to upgrade my bubble gum machine ring :D:p

Awww... I'll get it for u... :)

Well, my husband proposed to me with a ring from walmart. You know, the one out on the floor in the open, for anywhere between 7$-9$. It was very pretty. Looked like the necklace on the titanic movie. Had a blue heart, glass, and white glass surrounding it.

If you love each other, what is wrong with buing a ring together? My husband gave me that ring as a surprise, and then we shopped for, and split the cost of my current rings.

Here is the link to the place I got my wedding rings at. Its not that bad with prices.

Cubic Zirconia Jewelry, Sterling Silver Jewelry, Celebrity Inspired Jewelry, Fake Diamond Jewelry, CZ Replica Jewelry - Fantasy Jewelry Box (http://www.fantasyjewelrybox.com/)

Here is a specific link to the ones I got in case you were curious ;)

The Elizabeth Sapphire Blue CZ Wedding Ring Set (http://www.fantasyjewelrybox.com/rs8355.html)


Yes. They are CZ instead of real diamonds... but I personally feel that if a woman is willing to turn a man down simply because he cannot get her a real diamond... she didn't deserve him in the first place. Its what's in your heart that matters, not what's in your wallet or on your finger.

Money does NOT buy love.

I agree that you don't HAVE to have a ring to propose. BUT you are offering a ring as a promise towards marriage, and that is the essence of the proposal (in my opinion). My suggestion is to just pay for the ring over time. Make monthly payments. Most places will let you exchange the ring at a later date if she wants something different. You can go together later and choose what SHE likes, but for now make your best guest. IN FACT, ask her best friend what she wants. Girls talk about these things. And if not, her friend can always bring her a wedding magazine and say something along the lines of "You know its gonna happen eventually, let's choose our wedding dresses and rings. Hell, let's make a scrapbook." I've been the friend that he friend's boyfriend came to before... Hehe.

I wish you the best of luck!

I agree that you don't HAVE to have a ring to propose. BUT you are offering a ring as a promise towards marriage, and that is the essence of the proposal (in my opinion). My suggestion is to just pay for the ring over time. Make monthly payments. Most places will let you exchange the ring at a later date if she wants something different. You can go together later and choose what SHE likes, but for now make your best guest. IN FACT, ask her best friend what she wants. Girls talk about these things. And if not, her friend can always bring her a wedding magazine and say something along the lines of "You know its gonna happen eventually, let's choose our wedding dresses and rings. Hell, let's make a scrapbook." I've been the friend that he friend's boyfriend came to before...Hehe.

I wish you the best of luck!



Hi, Chi! I guess we travel in different circles these days because I haven't seen you around.

Would no engagement ring be a deal breaker for you?

I like Alty's rings (interlocking) and in that instance I would wear an engagement ring.

My husband did buy a diamond for me later and at one point wanted to "upgrade" it - I said no. I liked the original. In fact, I've had it reset into a pendant.

This is my ring;

Sorry for the poor picture quality.

22572

Nothing too fancy, but I love it. I love how the two rings become one, just like hubby and I when we married.

Okay, that was a bit corny.

Sorry. :o

I agree that you don't HAVE to have a ring to propose. BUT you are offering a ring as a promise towards marriage, and that is the essence of the proposal (in my opinion)


Personally no ring wouldn't have been a deal breaker for me but as a romantic at heart there would have been some deep hidden disappointment. My engagement ring isn't fancy or expensive but I wouldn't trade it or upgrade it for the world.

I just added my wedding ring to my profile photos - how did you post it here?

(Side topic, I know.)

I bought my fiance's engagement ring from a custom jeweler who makes this stuff, so it was something she'd like. I thought it was a big deal, till the guy who was getting another ring in there for his fiancé was talking to me about how much his ring cost and how he was going to propose... made the way I did it seem like nothing, but hey, I'm engaged, and my fiancé is crazy about her ring and everything, so I can't complain...

Therefore, its not about the ring, or the way you do it. As long as its honest and I guess memorable, that's what counts.

I didn't get a proposal.

I got my engagement ring a week before the wedding. We used a small diamond that had been in his grandmother's engagement ring (the ring itself was broken beyond repair. My wedding ring, his wedding ring, and my engagement ring came to a grand total of $89--in a mall jewelry store.

Unless you're typing from the library--you can afford an engagement ring. It just comes down to how much you're willing to sacrifice to save for one.

HOWEVER---put a LOT of thought into doing it the way you want it remembered. If YOU want to remember giving her a ring, then save up, or get creative, or lower your standards. I think more women dream about their engagement than they do about their wedding, so my advice is to be creative and make it memorable, for both of you.

Only YOU will know whether she'd be disappointed in not having a ring.

I want to propose marriage to my girlfriend, but I cannot afford an engagement ring. Is there etiquette around this and/or how do I arrange a still heartfelt proposal?

You may opt an inexpensive way for proposing her. Consider a white gold ring without diamond or a heart pendant.

You may opt an inexpensive way for proposing her. Consider a white gold ring without diamond or a heart pendant.

He might have figured something out or saved something up in the last six months.

My family would have said to me if that happened," you know what the birdy says... cheap cheap cheap! Everybody will ask to see the ring. GET A RING! Any ring!

my family would of said to me if that happened," you know what the birdy says.... cheap cheap cheap!! everybody will ask to see the ring. GET A RING! any ring!


To quote Catsmine: "He might have figured something out or saved something up in the last six months."

To quote me: "Did you read what has already been posted?"

To quote ME: This thread is closed because people obviously cannot look at dates.