Hi
I have a boyfriend and he is mess treating me
He doesn't call me or ask me out on a date or just out and he is just not that much into me anymore
I donno if he is cheating on me because he is really busy at his life at the moment
He travels to china and other country with his family for fun and for doing business deals
Anyway
Before he went to china "which btw he had been their for 1 month" we talked about our relation and I got really mad at him because no matter what I do he just ignores me or start complaining about his life so I told him that that's it but "i didnt mean it's over" I meant that I don't accept men to treat me like this and I started to cry "out of anger" and I said stuff like "what happened to the guy who used to kiss me and hug me and make me soo comfortable.. is he dead or what!" so I hang up the phone after I said that and at this point he knew that I am soooo angry and hurt so he "agreed"!! To talk to me adult way! And we did ! For 3 hours we had a real conversation about our relation and I was ready to give up but then we decided that it will work out and he said that he has been a jerk for not being a man for me but just some guy that I am committed to him!! Anyway
But then one week later he had to go to china "we live in Jordan"
So from that point until now we only chat.. at the beginning he used to call me but then he didn't
And I am sooooooo angry at him because even so we only chat it's not right because it shows that he is online but he doesn't want to chat with me anymore like for example he doesn't send a missed call or a text message to my mobile for me to come online and so we can chat and sometimes days go by and he is so not into me after we finally chat.. I donno I feel that the promise he made before he went to china is so not true and I feel like wanting to kick his!! Lol sorry I know it's bad to think this way but what can I do
He betrayed me
He said that we are going to be lovers and all romantic and stuff and then he do the oppesite and I told him once if you want to leave me you should just say it.. then he called me!
I donno what to do
I donno if I should show him I am very angry at him or not
I donno if I should break up with him "it's so hard for me .. we had been together for 4 years!"
And every time I tell him I want out of this relation we both know we can't do it.. and it's like we are lovers for ever but only in words!
I haven't seen him in 4 months only one time!
And I know he is not a player or cheating on me because I know his life system and we keep talking on the phone a lot "and he keeps complaining about his life and family .. so i hate that too.. but i say it's ok.. that what guys do when they get comfortable to a girl!"
Anyway would some one help me
I really want to study all my moves before I do anything stupid or crazy
I don't want to show him that I am so crazy about him
And I don't want to lie to him or me at the same time.. that I don't need a relationship in my life with a truly lover!
So how to act?
What to do?

Communication is one of the number one things in a relationship and this is something neither of you are doing.

Have you talked to him about exactly how you feel?
Have you told him that him being online and not chatting to you hurts you?

Yes he may be busy, and when he is online he may be conducting business and may be unable to talk but this is something YOU need to ask HIM.

Edit --- you say 'every time you go to break up with him" You have obviously been unhappy in this situation for a while...
Maybe it is time to find someone a little closer to home.

Neither of you knows how to manage a long distance relationship, which is hard for most. Even when you are together, you seem to have issues as to how you relate to each other.

When do people figure out that love doesn't keep a relationship healthy and happy? Hard work does, through honest communications, and there is the problem. No honest communication.

Talk and listen to each other, and share your true feelings, and figure out what your going to do about it.

Hi thanks for the replaies
We talked before he went to china we had a serious conversation and it was all of it hounest
And we knew we had issues and we said we will work them out
He promised to stop being a jerk and bring the love back into our relation
Because even when we are not so much in love and he is in jordan we talk a lot on the phone dialy
But not lovers talk
It's just talk about our days and events.
He seems no to know what he wants
And when I tell him I need a man and romance and.. he says he is sorry he doesn't give me all of that
And when I tell him I want out of this relation he says he doesn't want us to break up
And that "we both know we love each other" but it's not working out for us
Not that it's our fault
It's the rules of our country (arab countries have issues about girls being in love and guys being in love that are not married) and it's his job
And every thing else
I am sick of him making so much execuses and when I make ea decision "that he should make it since he is the man in this relation" that I want out of it.. he says that it's not right decision and I know it's not right
Because we do love each other
But when he is not around me
Like now! He is in china
I donno what happened to him
It's like he start evaluating every thing
And I am the one who should be evaluating the relation not him!
I am the one who is neglected bcoz of his work and our life style
I donno
I don't want to show him I am angry
I always don't like to deal with people that I am not certain about my behviours toward them
So what can I do
What should I do
Talk doesn't help
Should I leave it to time
Should I start seeing other guys when I know all I want is him
Should he see other girls just bcoz I don't want to be neglected and this way thinking about him cheating me even if he is not doing it will help how I feel?

It is not really a relationship. Time to move on.

He doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't seem interested in you, he is living a totally separate life from yours due to the distance.
He gives you no hope for the future,
Yep time to move on.

If you don't like the way things are going, leave.

I know it's easy to say "just leave him or time ot move on" but since yesterday I am all cried out! I am not saying that I would cry too much for this guy but I really loved him. Onlye before 4 or 3 days we had our last chat and he used the webcam and I couldn't get my eyes of him it's like he looks like an angel in my eyes! I donno why life have to be so hard. Or why some people are just no lucky with the things in their lives.. or it's too much hard to reach what you want and it needs time and patient and faith! I donno. I guess I have to go through what you guys said.. move on. Even if it's the hardest things I will ever do.. but this decision maybe should be done taken long time ago.. but I am so broken and un happy.. how can I still love every thing about him and yet I hate every thing about our relation.. is that fair!

By the way thanks for the replaies anyway..

Oh well, either you take the advice or leave it.. Its your call and your life.

I am unsubscribing to this thread.

Its never easy to break old attachments, and begin making new ones.

There are a lot of intense feelings to deal with, and it does take time, and best to have No Contact with the ex, until you can move on.

Hi
Iam 21 years old
Well I am going through some tough change
My love life turned out to be a joke “for him”
I cry almost every morning and night and in between
I donno it’s not like I am not a tough person because I am.. I am so much older than the girls and guys in my age.. every one keeps telling me that.. and I know it but the problem here is that I need some one
Some one like me.. my character.. like some one who knows me.. I am tough most of the times I like to think more to feel when any thing happened and I love to be enjoying myself and if it would takes me to do that to make every one around me smile I will do that! “i think iam stupid because of that because of many bad reactions from others and mean people”.. I think a lot about what will happened the minute any thing said about the subject so I find myself smart at that area.. anyway my problem is that I donno if I am going through a break up or not but my boyfriend is acting all jerk and this is not the first time.. maybe the 1000 time.. so he is traveling now so he think he will fix every thing when he will come back.. although at that time he enjoy being online chating with others and having a good time all the time! And not even having to send to me sms or missed call or any thing to tell me to meet him online! So he doesn’t miss me and obviously he is taking every thing as a joke! I want to get out of the relation but let’s just say I donno how to do that! So I am just letting the time heal every thing. But my main problem is what to do? I look at photos of my past three years and I only liked 5! The others I could see in my eyes how much it’s all about him and the photos is for him “it’s like i am all his! You can see it in my eyes”! So the 5 I liked they are really good but the problem is I am not smiling! How can I smile in life? How can I actually get to a point where I can smile.. be normal and just smile! Iam too confused and sad! I feel I am wasting my life and time is going by and I don’t even know what do I want or what to do! Sure I am studying at university now I am my education is going fine but I am talking about me! Not what other things that complete me! And yes my love life turned out to be a joke for him! Although I know he loved me but what can any one do when life goes by and different paths comes along and lovers have to separate! And what hurts the most is that it’s OK for him! It’s always about his best in life but who am I to talk about that!
Anyway
Please if any adults “i mean really adults who has it all figure and happy and satisfied in life” knows how to help me please don’t hesitate
Thanks anyway for reading my post

Time will not heal anything if you don't break up with him. He sounds like the type that will just make excuses and tell you whatever you want to hear.
Like you said what hurts the most is that you see it is okay for him. So realize that the hurts you have breaking up with him are normal and they are not 'have to have him pangs'.
They are more pains of knowing that something that seemed good was a waste of time.
You tell him before he gets back with you that you have had time to realize you are better off alone. If you get back when you see him it will only be harder to break up.

Hon, the best advice I can give you is take time to relax and take some time for yourself.

Take a nice hot bath by candle light, go to a movie by yourself, take yourself out to dinner.

Simply put, RELAX.


Then dress yourself up, and take some friends out. Even if you just go to the mall and walk around. Or go to a coffee shop and talk all day long. Take some time to be 21 years old. You don't HAVE to be older than all your friends. Let your hair down and go to a club.

You have SO much time left in your life. Worry about all the love and relationships later, when you find the right person, and it definitely does not seem to be this guy.


Im sorry you are going through this hon. It will get better with time. *hugs*

One of the most important questions you can ask yourself when you are confused with a relationship is, who's needs are being met.

It does not sound like yours are. It sounds like he is quite happy to keep things as they are.

Have you ever heard of the 'honeymoon phase'? When insecurity comes up, and you begin to question the relationship, and what it means, the good and the not so good, and realize that you are probably better off moving on, then he comes home, and you wonder what all the fuss was about. After all that personal upheaval, the sparks fly because everything is okay again, for now.

But, eventually the pattern gets to be very predicatable, and at the end of the day, your needs are still not being met.

There are good and bad parts of a relationship, but it is the overall quality that you have to consider. Is this what you want. It may very well be that you love him, but what he has to offer is just not enough to sustain a mutually beneficial relationship.

Hi
Well have you ever been really heartbroken that the only fact you could understand is “OMG I am so not gonna be fixed.. not now.. not yet.. maybe never!!” I am horrible at getting over some body “not just any one.. I mean really some body!” I still miss the guy I used to be in love with when I was 15! And what ever happened to him makes me even sadder!. well he died! But anyway I am 21 years old now and I am over it. Not over him. But accepting the fact that ad things could happened. Iam a happy person usually and very enthusiastic and nice to be around. But some times If feels like no one on earth can solve the real problems I have. Anyway I got in love when I was 18 and I am still with the guy but we know it’s over.. but still we can't say good bye.. we can't survive just by “thinking” that we can live with out each other! So I am giving my relation with him a last shot. A shot full of hope that it should work out! We got deeeeply in love when we both were young and to me he is my first lover “as in mature way and I love him and he loves me too” and to him I am the same. So I am saying maybe it will work. But the real problem here is not if it will work! It is how I feel! If I will continue feeling this way. It will never work! Nothing will work. Not my love life.. my usual day stuff! Because when some one feels horrible. Simply every thing will be horrible! Iam sad most of my time! Getting sick of it. I try to read good books about being happy and controlling my thoughts and feelings and.. but I don’t need this crap! I need to know will I ever be happy? Can I?
Iam not even good with friends! I mean as I said I have lots of friends to hang out with and they all love me and I love them too. But in a “let’s hang out way” not some friend to get me and my soul!
Iam really depressed! I know! But taking pills or drinking or do drugs or what ever people do won’t solve any thing! It numbs me! That’s why I don’t do that!
Does any one know what to do?
Have an answer?

Hi,

Keep your mind safe. Have a hope in your mind that you will have a love in the near future. But be careful, and remember your past sufferings.

Threads merged


Hi
My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years and from the last week until now he is avoiding me.. he calls me and sees that I am not doing any thing entersting! I had exams before two weeks so I had been resting from every thing! Doing what I want! But even I don't know what I want anymore! So he calls me says hi and how are you and all then something come up and he says he'll call me back but he doesn't I can feel it like he is running away from me!
Sure I had been sad lately and I told him that! The last two months of our relation has been a disaster... no problems.. but I had been feeling so lonely like he is not their any more! He travels a lot! China.. germany.. swiss.. vienna.. so when do all that (business trips) and don't have for me to hang out with me... to take me some where nice.. even to just be my lover in physical way! And now that he is not busy and came back from all those countries.. he expect me to be the same! I am not the same! I want every thing back too! But how can I do it with my heart broken! I cry like some one really hurt! And I am surprised by myself! I didn't expect to be this hurt for too long! I mean he always travelS.. the last two years of our relation is all about him traveling and enjoying his time! While I am sitting at home waiting for something to happened to my life! I don't meet other guys because I don't want to cheat on him! I love him soooooo much that no one can know how much! But he has been avoiding me ever since he calls me and see nothing interesting about me or the way every thing goes in my life! I mean can any one tell me what to do! How to act.. how to be just as I want! Because I want our relation to be normal! But it's not happening with me being like this!
Please if any one know how to solve my problem even just a thought tell it to me.. thank u

If things aren't the way you want them to be, then you talk it out with your boyfriend. Commmunication is key. If your boyfriend really cared about you, he will make the effort to make you feel better.

If he won't listen to you, nor put any effort to try to make things better, then what's the point of continue the pain and suffering?

I felt the same about breaking up is the "easy way out." Now I see things differently. In some cases, breaking up is the "best way out" of a horrible situation. Don't hold on to something that isn't going to work out. Move on to bigger and better things instead of toturing yourself.

the last two years of our relation is all about him traveling and enjoying his time! While I'm sitting at home waiting for something to happened to my life!
That is your problem, your sitting around waiting for him to make you happy, instead of doing things that make you happy. Thats your responsibility not his, recognize what your doing to YOURSELF.

I don't meet other guys because I don't want to cheat on him! I love him soooooo much that no one can know how much!
Why does it have to be other guys to have fun with?? Are you just horny for a man or what?? How about some good clean fun without the sex thrown in, like bowling or a hobby or a card party with friends. Your wasting a lot of options and opportunities to have a good time for yourself waiting for something to happen. Get off your a$$, and make something happen.

but he has been avoiding me ever since he calls me and see nothing interesting about me or the way every thing goes in my life!
I don't blame him, your boring and not happy with yourself, and thats not attractive to any man who wants more than just sex from you.

I mean can any one tell me what to do! How to act.. how to be just as I want! Because I want our relation to be normal! But it's not happening with me being like this!

Start by building a life that you enjoy for yourself, and don't be lazy, or afraid about it. That alone will make you feel better about yourself, your life, and that makes you a lot more attractive to those who want to share your happiness with you. Now thats how you start to have fun!

please if any one know how to solve my problem even just a thought tell it to me.. thank u
I have given you some suggestions, its up to you to do the work. Waiting for something to happen is a waste, you actually have to do something about it, besides moping for a guy to do it for you.

Threads merged

Hi
My boyfriend is always away
3 months in HongKong
And then got back home for 20 days and now he is in the USA
To me this is almost not a relation
Cause in so many ways it's!
It just hurts me a lot to feel un cared about or ignored for this much!
We had been together for 3 years now and it's always like this.. him going away to other countries for business while I stay in my country to finish my study
I am wondering what can I do mean while!
Sure some peoplee would say leave him.. find some other man who buys for me roses and takes me to movies and other places!
But although I wish sooooo much to have a boyfriend like that
But I would never replace my man!
I love him
And he loves me too
It's just our life styles that makes me so sad and angry and all the bad emotions in the world
Would any one know what can I do to keep my hopes up?
Or know actually what to do mean while?
It's not like I am just going to set and wait for him.. I want to have a life too
How do I do that?

Volunteer work at hospitals schools and churches

Take a class and sharpen your skills

Get a great hobby

Get together with the girls

Take up bowling, golf, or sports

Be creative, there are many ways of spending your time to make you happy that are also good clean fun, besides working, and getting your nails done.

Had to spread rep.

Don't sit at home. Go out do explore the world. If you feel like you have free time, go do something with the time. You only live once, so don't spend it worrying about you boyfriend. He's living his life, so now you need to live yours.

As for your boyfriend, if you love him so much, then you got to accept and respect his life. If you can't handle it, then nor matter how great of a guy he is, maybe he's not right for you. He doesn't sound like the type of guy who's going to stay in 1 city for a very long time or at least he will constantly have to travel. So if you can't accept that part about him, then maybe he's not the one.

Don't be scared to let him go. Don't be scared to have your own life. Don't feel that you need to sit at home constantly waiting for him to come back.

You can have your boyfriend, and your own life too.

Hi
Thank you for the replaies
But dear (I wish) what do you mean that I shouldn't be scared of having my own life?
Is that question should scare me?
Because it confused me only!
Thanks by the way :) but I am just confused!
Thanks talaniman for the answers

You seem so caught up about his life and how he's always travelling. What about you? What about your life? You made your life sound so sad, especially when you said:


we had been together for 3 years now and it's always like this.. him going away to other countries for business while I stay in my country to finish my study
iam wondering what can I do mean while!

Find some things to do as well. I'm sure that you're not studying 24/7. Go out and have some fun with friends and find new hobbies.



sure some peoplee would say leave him .. find some other man who buys for me roses and takes me to movies and other places!
but although I wish sooooo much to have a boyfriend like that

If that's how you feel, why are you staying in the relationship?

Because of this?

but I would never replace my man!
i love him
and he loves me too

Love is important, but it doesn't sound like you are happy with your relationship:


it's just our life styles that makes me so sad and angry and all the bad emotions in the world

At this point, being happy is more important than love. If you feel happy waiting around for him, then stay with him. But if you're suffering so much, break up and find someone else who will make you happy.

Threads merged
Hi
My boyfriend and I have been in love for more than 4 years now
But lately and I mean the past week I thought it was all good
He is a good guy
He tells me every thing
So then he said to me that their were a girl who added him to his msn and she starts to flirt with him... and he told me that he is 100% that it's a guy he had pulled a trick on once! So he told me he flirted back... and kind of I know he is telling the truth and this girl is a guy.. a friend of his.. but all of this made me feel suspicious.. so I looked at his friend list in the Facebook and he added a new girl.. I didn't say any thing about it
Although I felt bad but I acted in a good way.. so today all day we have been loving each other over the phone "we have long distance relation but we talk a lot on the phone".. and we kept talking for hours of how much we miss each other and so...
So when the right moment came.. and I felt he is into me alotttt but not just sexualy I mean in a loving way.. I told him " if you will ever cheat on me I will cut your balls off!" so his voice changed ! I know he didn't cheat on me.. but the idea was in his head and I couldn't help it but to tell him that! So he starts to say "why would I cheat on you .. you are perfect .. and so.." but what I am saying did I do the right thing?
He onces and a lot told me I am his "one" so I was protecting his mind from these thoughts so he would never hurt me and I turn out to be not the one in the future if he would cheat on me
Anyway would some body "and I really want men to answer my question" tell me did I do wrong? And if so how to make it over for him... he is my lover and I never want to loose him! And I had done some crazy things in the past over things that are not real! But only in my head! And I don't want this to be one of them!
I don't want him to think I am a manlish! Or crazy! Because telling my boyfriend I will cut your balls off isn't the kind of conversation I would like to have with him
Should I say I am sorry... I know men should be treated in some special way.. and I have been doing that.. but is what I said ruined things for me?
Anyway he knew I said that because I wanted him to know I am not easy! And not just any guy sleeps with me or have sweet talk with me!
Thanks

As a female, I think it is a below the belt comment and as a boyfriend I would be angry and upset.
You can not control cheating, you can work to have a healthy relationship with your partner. You can be open and honest and communicate at all times.
Cheating does happen, you can only control whether you ever cheat and what you would ever do if your significant other cheated.
The more you worry and try to control whether a man will cheat on you, the further you will push him out of your life.

Whether he cheats on you or not is out of your control. So threatening him like that won't help you cause.

What you should focus on is building a stronger relationship with him. Sounds like your trust level with him is very fragile right now. You need to build a stronger communication system with him.

Once you have a strong and healthy relationship, things will fall into place and you won't be worrying so much.

If you feel that there's no progress in trying to strengthen your relationship, then maybe he's not a good match for you.

You probably shocked him, and maybe explaining yourself in a softer way would help, but that is some psycho talk. Scary, I would think twice for sure!

My ex-girlfriend told me the same thing, but she ended cheating on me... You have to trust him and talk to him, it's the only thing you can do. You can't control someone.

That is too extreme of a statement.
With something like that you should say it in a generalized I statement when the conversation of cheating happens to come up.
Like I don't tolerate cheating no matter how much in love I am.

Threads merged
hi
well I have a boyfriend and we both have been in a long distance relation for more than 4 years
last week I found out he added girls (random girl) at the Facebook site.. so when I asked him who r they? He said any one I donno they added me!
so I wanted to show him I am not OK with him adding other girls! So I made a fight! I know him very very well! We both talk on the phone 3 hours a day! So I kind of threatened him with out saying any thing! I just made him get the feeling that I am hurt and now u going to have to fix that!
so he kept saying to me ( I did nothing wrong.. u going to to be OK with that) so I told him if I have to be OK with u talking to other girls then I got to go because my other boyfriend is calling me and I don't have time for u! (ofcourse I don't have other boyfriend but I said it to make see if that's OK too with him)
so then I sent text messages to him telling him he is such a jerk! And I shared my love with him and every thing and this is how u make me feel special?! By going to online girls! And I told him that him adding other girls means I feel I am not perfect to him.. and he needs more! And that hurt me!
so get this... now he is the one who switched off his cell phone not me!!
is that right from him to do?
when I threatened him with out saying a word that he has to fix my hurt... he kind of run a way
did I do the right thing?
is being in love always suck or what?
thanks

Please keep all your questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow the story and you will get better answers that way.

Both of you have some personality issues to work on before you confront each other. Spend some time working on yourself.

Stop threatening him. How does that help anyone or anything?

Why do I get the feeling this relationship is lacking something, and is going nowhere??

Well it isn't for lack of control and games.
I commend your boyfriend for standing his ground, there isn't anything about being in a relationship that says you have to limit all contact with the opposite sex for your partner!
The issue is your lack of self worth and your need to control what he does for fear that he may someday cheat on you.
Yes, I personally believe you are and have been out of line.
You aren't talking about your issues, you are trying to manipulate his responses.
You believe that he should be wrapped around your finger and that isn't anyone responsibility, nor will it be anyone's desire.
Leave him alone, you pushed him out of your life with a desire to control everything that he does.
He changed his phone number on you, that should be a sign, he is done working to try and make you happy.

Threads merged, yet again. What does it take to keep things in one thread???
Hi
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 4 years
Yesterday we had a fight about him adding new girls that he doesn't know on the Facebook website
I know I was silly and I didn't have to make a big deal out of it but out of jealousy I did! And I got angry at him! So he kind of ran away and turned off his cell phone
We have long distance relation
I know what I did was wrong
I know I shouldn't had to make a big deal out of him adding girls and so
But at that moment I didn't think
All what I did is acted like a 5 years old kid and got nuts!
But we had been together for ever
We talk on the phone every day for more than 3 hours and when ever we get angry at each other.. which we rarly do.. the next MORNING every thing will be solved and he would text me or call me and say let's forget every thing happened last night
But this time it's different
He switched off both of his cell phones
He didn't call me this morning
And now it's night and still his cell phones are closed and he still haven't said any thing to me
Not one thing!!
I donno what's going on in his mind?
Is he dumping me?
Is he taking time to think about dumping me or staying with me? Or he just needs time off?
Would some body tell me any thing because I am going insane here missing him and crying a lot if it's going to be over specially over a stupid fight that he is not even giving me a chance to make it up to him (by turning his cell phones off)
Does any one think it's over?
Does any one think he will call or we will get back together?
What will happened?
Thanks

One of my all-time fav books is Richard Bach's "The bridge across forever".Its a bit of a tedious read sometimes,with a slow-pace but the philosophy is brilliant.In this he says that the initial stages in all relationships are like hugging a warm,fuzzy thing.Gradually,with the passage of time,it feels like hugging a giant cactus,because by that time,the two partners mostly know each other's bad,sad,dark,negative,nagging,jealous,angry,etc etc sides.Thats when the real test of a relationship begins and that's when two people really realise how much they can love each other WITH all their faults and bad side.

From your post,you have mentioned being together for 4 yrs and having a more or less consistent relationship.I don't think there's been too many ups and downs,especially downs.If there's been,you both have been quick to go out of your ways and make up.While that's a great quality,sometimes,it's a bit artificial and put-on.Its like,"lets make things alright before it gets too ugly to handle".

The incident with the girlsbeing added on FB,Jordan,I don't think you over-reacted on the principle.You may not like something(except that there's a way in handling such things,being too hyper and dramatic may not be advisable)about your partner and you may want to share that with him.Theres nothing wrong in that.Never blame yourself for feeling a certain way.You are entitiled to it(again,however,what matters,is the way you express it though).

How your partner handles it is the point.How strong is the relationship,is the point.If just a frank outburst from you upsets him this much,that he switches off his phones,that's the concern.If you are feeling bad about this to want to talk it out with him and he's "OH SO UPSET(about what?)",that he can't even face you,that's the concern.This incident is the real test of your relationship Jordan and you have to learn to see it that way.You have to accept he's put off/upset/whatever whatever and doesn't feel the need to sort it out right now.Whatever it is,he doesn't want to communicate and you can't make him do it.You can't make it all right all the time.You just have to accept your situation as a setback,at least that's the way it looks like to me,cant say for him,he might take it harder and may take a more drastic step,who knows.You just have to wait and watch,give him the space to go over it and come back to you,if at all,he wishes to do so.

Meanwhile,what do you do?You brood,sulk,worry,bite your nails,whatever you do(sicne you feel so horrible),the fact is you really can't drag him back and talk to u.So,it might hurt but you just need to step back a bit and see how he handles it.Carry on living your life and take one small step at a time.

Have to spread the rep starry-Good post.

Hi
Well lately I had been living in hell
Nothing cheer me up
Sadness is taking advantage of me totally!
I talked to a friend and she said that maybe because I want to move on in life
Try new things and take the next step that I totally donno about it any thing
But that I am not happy with myself and this new step is about trying to improve myself
But why is it always soooooooooooooooooooo hard to do the right thing
Even to ourselves I mean
Some times we do good things to other that we don't like to do but we do it anyway
But now I am trying to improve myself
In speritual way.. emotional too and mentally too
I keep having these dark thoughts
So dark that its might killed me if I didn't shared it my my friend the other day
But friends are not always their
I don't like to depent on people
I want to be good to my own self
So why self improvement is sooooo difficult
What made me feel so disappointed by myself that I donno where am I right now at
Am I the old me (that I totally forget how I was.. but I am sure I was awesome! Because I loved me sooo much and every one who meets me says that I am OK 22 years old but wise and smart as a 40 years old person)
And I am not sure how I am I going to be
I donno where I am going
It sucks the life out of me these thoughts I mean!
Has any one been in my situation?!
Is yes please help and if no just advice me in any good way.. maybe just to try to help me
Thanks a lot

Hi, jordanian11!

What sort of good things are happening in your life right now, please?

Thanks!

Hey Jordan,

Very good morning.

We are all human beings, its just common for everyone. Not only u.

The only difference from others is we are making our life more complicated.

You know the problem, you mentioned the solutions. Only thing left is implementation.

Do some new things related to the below four activities.

Mental Physical Spiritual Intellectual exercises.

It will give you also show your strength.Next time you will be more.. energetic.

Do don't depend on anyone, But believe every one. We are here to share and listen to others.What they are daying and why they are saying.. Cool man.


Happy Days ahead enjoy... Dont miss.

Hi
Well latley I have been a bit sad
Now knowing what I want and gone crazy on myself
I live a life that I totally don't want
I go to college that I hate.. I don't like most of the people their.. there are nice people but in total their aren't so cool or nice people
I don't study from my heart
My life kind of gets empty a lot for me
I have a good boyfriend
He is the love of my life and he loves me too
But lately I had been scared
I am scared
Of many things
Of the unknown things that will happened to me
Of the not good things that will happened
I had been looking at my life from the big picture..
I see the problem as a disease and the symptoms of it..
I am sad
Big time sad
I talk to my boyfriend and we would be flirting but suddenly I starts to cry
I did that before 1 hour!
He tried to listen to me and kept asking me why am I scared! He cared but at a point he knew he can't help me so we hung up (we have long distance relation)
I don't want to seem so depressed but
Where are the beautiful side of my life?
Why can't I see it!!
I need to see it but I just can't find it
And of course I don't wanan ruin my relation with the man I love.. he means a lot to me.. and pushing him away.. and being a total turn off is not my goal! I am even wondering.. since I am this sad.. is it OK for me to show him I am sad.. I mean.. he doesn't deserve to have a not happy girlfriend! So am I being fair to him.. or me.. or I should be sad and see if he stick my by side!
Does any one know the answer to my problem
Any advice will help too
Thanks :(

Sounds likes symptoms of depression. I suggest that you get some professional help as a first step.

Secondly, have you set any goals for yourself? There's got to be things that you enjoy doing. Why don't you focus on those things.

Please don't start new questions ( threads) on the same subject, I have merged your threads

Hi
Well my boyfriend and I had been together for 4 yrs for now and sure we had our ups and down in the relation
But lately he had been acting like he doesn't want me anymore
We don't live together it's a long distant relation
I donno what he wants
I did nothing wrong.. didn't do anything to turn off what was between us
But now we are no longer friends
I want to understand that it's OK.. I can live with out the love that once was their
He now calls me at night but then if I tell him to call be back in 15 minutes. (if I was busy) he would turn off his phone
What's wrong that him
And why do I deserve this??
Why do men tend to be crazy some times..
Any advice on how I can work it through
And they say that love is not going to always be their.. but a life time is going.. so maybe we had been together for too long and we always talked to each other every day for 2-3 hours.. but some times it's not the love that will make us stick to each other.. but the relation it self
And sure that is all right
But meanwhile what can I do
I mean.. what can I do with my empty heart
It's keeping me awake at night
Not happy most of the times
And so empty!
Any advice?
And sure I am not going to talk to him about this.. I don't want him to feel guilty.. it's not his fault that he has to be a human and some times loose interest in me or in himself or just decide to take some time for himself
But me! What about me.. what can I do!
Thanks

Here's what you can do -- stop talking to him, stop answering the phone when he calls, stop returning his phone calls, no texting, no IMing, no snail mail -- in other words, don't have any contact with him. It's called NC -- No Contact. This will give you time and space to heal and to find your True Self again apart from him. Others here will give you ideas on how you can accomplish that.

Do u mean it wondergirl? Wouldn't that make him sad or angry? I want to put stop to his craziness.. not make the relation worst.. is that a good idea?

do u mean it wondergirl? wouldn't that make him sad or angry?! i want to put stop to his craziness.. not make the relation worst.. is that a good idea?
He's not sad or angry now?

It will produce one of two results. You're a smart cookie. Tell me what each result is.

First how long distant, but it sounds like it has run past it course, the idea of a relationship is to end up as a more seroius full time personal relationship ( in person) This is the issue with long distant, at some point it has to stop being long distant.

What is, or is there a plan for one or the other to move to where the other is?

We love each other.. but today it came to me.. every man.. when he is sad or having some feelings! And since men donno how to deal with their feelings.. so they tend to make the one that really care about them.. sad.. like them.. and when the minute comes.. and they c that they cracked the people that love them and are now sad as them.. maybe then they will say what's going on with them.. all men like to be selfish! God! And now I have to be sweet.. and accept any thing he say so he wouldn't be sad and so he would open up to me! I mean since all of us girls have to be the shoulder that they will not cry on.. but open up to us.. and give them some hugs to let them know it's still a good world.. and there are some people in this world that are good starting with me.. your girl! Or something..
Maybe I am saying too much things.. but now after I had thought enough about it.. and it came to me this morning.. that men are much more soft than woman.. they just hide behind the doors of strength.. thanks anyway

Hi
Well I am 21 yrs old
And I had been (still) in a relation for 4 years and the relation of course had it's ups and down
But mean while all I could think about is we belong together
If we are in love than that's the great thing about every thing.. love makes me feel like life has a meaning
Like I belong with some one
But lately our relation had been changed a lot
It became more serious.. serious that good results might come out of it
He is dreaming to moving to another country so he is starting to get too attached to business and focusing too much on how to earn more money
He didn't forgot about me totally
He still calls me at night (we have long distant relation)
But still there is a very huge mount of ice bricks that must be broken until I get to him.. because all day he doesn't call.. he is too busy.. he works until 9 pm. And he is not the kind who mixes his personal life with his job..
So I had been feeling sooooooooo lonely ever since..
And that mad me go insane s couple of times.. but I am OK now
And during our conversation I could see that he includes me in his future plans.. which is great.. since I love him sooo much..
But I am not so much used to feel lonely
He used to call me more often
We used to have a conversationssss not just one!
And since all that changed.. and since he decided to be more of a man! And follow his dreams and work hard. And I support him.. and that's what he expect from me.. to support him
All the lonely times makes me feel lost
Like I can't connect with myself.. as inside of me!
I kind of feel like a teenager again!! And some people like to feel that way but I hated my years when I was younger and lost and unattached to any one!
I can't even listen to music like I used to when I was a teenager..
I don't cheat on my boyfriend because I already have found some one who loves me
So I don't do any of the things that teenagers do to make them forget their lostness
So what can I do
Feeling lost.. and un attached to any close one.. makes me feel the worst
I mean I do love myself
I even bought flowers to myself today
But all that can't hide the sad person I really I am inside
Any advice that will help?
Thanks

So what are you doing all day, if you are 21 you should be working or going to school?

When we are at work, we can not call and text all the time, we work. So perhaps he could text a couple time.

So the question if you have all these plans, when will they happen, why are you not there with him now.