View Full Version : Twofaced friends, what do we do?
ally790
Mar 14, 2009, 07:41 AM
Okay so I have two friends. They're called 1. and 2. because it would be better to be vague. So, friend 1 and myself have been friends for about 5 years, and friend 2 and myself have been friends for about 1 year. At first it was very subtle, but now friend 1 has been acting two faced and is telling other people our DEEPEST DARKEST secrets. She is very judgemental and is hard to please. She would freak out when she is busy and friend 2 and I would hang out at one of our houses because we live close together. She would be mad for no reason at a lot of things that are just ridiculous and we would always apoligize and give in. She has been talking with us at some points and "accidently" slip on our secrets to other people friend 2 and I don't trust and tells everyone we are embarrassing to her and when we do go to public places she would try to avoid us and walk either in front or behind us. You see, friend 1's mom doesn't like friend 2 at all for reasons caused by friend 1 because she is telling her mom false information and twisting things around to make friend 2 look bad in front of her mom who already doesn't like friend 2. She would also lie to our faces when we would know she was lying. She also brags about her life and when we start saying things that don't revolve around her she would twist the conversation so we only talk about her and who she likes and would get annoyed if we don't pay attention. The other day friend 2 sprained her foot and went to school limping, and friend 1 would keep repeating that friend 2 is slow and insulted how she looked and she also kicked her injured foot 3 times making the injury worse than it original was and laughed at it. Continuously tells us we are weird in front of and not in front of other people embarrassing us and making her feel superior to us. We are just about tired of all of it and we are wondering if it is a good choice to break the friendship or at least give it a break until she seriously changed her act. We are only 15 so it is hard for us to make a decision like this and if you have any advice please respond to this and give us advice if we do have to break the friendship how we should go about it. Thank you to anyone who read our life story and those who responds.
talaniman
Mar 14, 2009, 08:01 AM
You need some more reliable friends, who have better control over themselves. Not saying break the relationships up, but adjust them, and back away when one shows some bad, or wacky behavior. Its your choice to hang with folks who act poorly, so I suggest you don't. I really don't think they deserve to know your deep dark secrets either.
Choose your close friends more carefully, and leave the rest alone to do whatever they want.
ally790
Mar 14, 2009, 08:56 AM
Okay so I have two friends. They're called 1. and 2. because it would be better to be vague. So, friend 1 and myself have been friends for about 5 years, and friend 2 and myself have been friends for about 1 year. At first it was very subtle, but now friend 1 has been acting two faced and is telling other people our DEEPEST DARKEST secrets. She is very judgemental and is hard to please. She would freak out when she is busy and friend 2 and I would hang out at one of our houses because we live close together. She would be mad for no reason at a lot of things that are just ridiculous and we would always apoligize and give in. She has been talking with us at some points and "accidently" slip on our secrets to other people friend 2 and I don't trust and tells everyone we are embarrassing to her and when we do go to public places she would try to avoid us and walk either in front or behind us. You see, friend 1's mom doesn't like friend 2 at all for reasons caused by friend 1 because she is telling her mom false information and twisting things around to make friend 2 look bad in front of her mom who already doesn't like friend 2. She would also lie to our faces when we would know she was lying. She also brags about her life and when we start saying things that don't revolve around her she would twist the conversation so we only talk about her and who she likes and would get annoyed if we don't pay attention. The other day friend 2 sprained her foot and went to school limping, and friend 1 would keep repeating that friend 2 is slow and insulted how she looked and she also kicked her injured foot 3 times making the injury worse than it original was and laughed at it. Continuously tells us we are weird in front of and not in front of other people embarrassing us and making her feel superior to us. We are just about tired of all of it and we are wondering if it is a good choice to break the friendship or at least give it a break until she seriously changed her act. We are only 15 so it is hard for us to make a decision like this and if you have any advice please respond to this and give us advice if we do have to break the friendship how we should go about it. Thank you to anyone who read our life story and those who responds.
lilbay
Mar 14, 2009, 10:12 AM
In all honesty it sounds like friend 1 is really not that sure of herself and is lacking self esteem. This is why she obviously has issues with the 2nd friend and you having a close friendship as well as enjoys trying to make herself look better or more powerful than you two
First personally I would distance myself or even break the friendship because in all honesty a friend who does these type things is not a friend at all.
I would however give her a chance
Sit down with her you and her and the other friend and tell her that her actions are really bothering you and #2.
Let her know that friendship is something that you really value and that you have really had some great times and rally want to be her friend but you do not like when she ties to belittle you(out you down) in front of people or try to hurt one of you just to try and look bigger them you or #2. Let her know that you do not think this is a healthy relationship or a beneficial one Tell her she is really making it hard for you to remain a friend with her and that if she continues to behave this way that you are not comfortable remaining close to her.
Tell her the things that bother you. List examples.
If she gets a attitude or storms out so be it that is her choice move on and find friends that you can trust and who are valuable.
If she says that she is sorry and wants to stay friends just be cautions for a bit as to what you share with her or maybe tell her something harmless and see if it gets told and she changes or not.
if things do not change just pull her aside and let her know straight out that it is just not working out and you tried to make it work and can not see it doing so.
Good Luck
Sitting down and talking and being honest is always the best method of handling things