Im wondering if I could ask some advice, I've been with my ex for 2 years off and on. We were back on in November last year and have just found he was also seeing another woman behind my back. He says that they wernt together when we were but I don't believe that's true.

Also, one day he tells me that he loves me and wants to get back together then the next he says he is unsure. He has been constantly emailing and texting me asking me to go back to him and that the other girl he was seeing is out of the pic (she is out of the pic because she found out about me and kicked him to the kerb, but he don't know that I know that)

Yesterday I was going to meet up with him and found out only 1 hour later that he is back friends with her on Facebook?? I texted him to ask him why he was asking me to get back with him an then going behind my back with her on Facebook, and funnily enough I've never heard from him today!!

I also found out that whilst begging me to come back he has been arranging to go on hol with a different girl, when I questioned him he says they were only mates and that they were both going through a bad time at the mo and needed to get away?? He even had the cheek to say to me that they were mates but you never know eh??

What should I do? I do love the guy but he is playing me for a fool, one day he loves me and then the next day he doesn't know whether we will work out, he is 30 yrs old and still living at home so not the best catch in the world I suppose but I love him

He text me today saying that he has had enough of mates mates giving him hassle about the way he is treating me, so now he don't want to be together?? But he did yesterday.

He just text me saying the above about my mates giving him hassle about the way he treats me, he will leave me alone for a few weeks and then get in touch out of the blue when it suits him.

He says that he loves me and wants us to be together and then the next day or a week later its all changed, I know he always gets close to people and then fires them off

What do I do please help

Ignore him, plain and simple. Why would you continue to allow him to play these games with you? How much longer are you going to wait for his call or text? STAY OFF FACEBOOK!

End the confusion, from a confused person, by ending all contact, and sending his emails to spam.

Why would you even consider listening to a confused liar, and cheater?

He will get the message to leave you alone, by your NON RESPONSES to his advances.

I do love him but know that I can never trust him, when his mates knew we were together the first thing they said to me was be careful as he tells lies and that was his mates!!

How do I get him out of my head, he says I'm the other half of him, that I'm the most beautiful person he has met etc etc. All the corny one liners I fall for!!

This other woman he was seeing lives over 200 miles away and he told me that he was seeing her but not at the same time as me, that he didn't love her and that she was too young for him

He just text me and said tell your mates to stop hassling me thank you and goodbye!! That was it, as clear and blank as that, how could sum1 be so cold??

Its might take you a while to stop thinking about him and the situation.The less contact you have with him the better, if you can't hear him or see him the less you will keep falling for his game. He does not sound like a good person. Leave him be, stop the contact and try to move on from him and his mind games.

If you know his one liners are fake, then stop believing in them. As soon as you stop responding to him the better, he will soon realise that your not falling for the crap that coming out of his mouth.

No Contact, whatsoever!!!!

Its might take you a while to stop thinking about him and the situation.The less contact you have with him the better, if you can't hear him or see him the less you will keep falling for his game. He does not sound like a good person. leave him be, stop the contact and try to move on from him and his mind games.

if you know his one liners are fake, then stop believing in them. As soon as you stop responding to him the better, he will soon realise that your not falling for the crap that coming out of his mouth.

Thanks for your advice, he told my friend that he has been playing mind games for 29 years and is good at it?? The thought of him with another woman kills me so much but I know I should move on. I emailed the other woman and told her of his games and she booted him to the kerb but has since gotten back in touch, I emailed her telling her that he has been horrible about her but she hasn't replied to my email. I don't want her to think that I'm being nasty I just don't want to see her get hurt as she has Cerebal Palsy and is going through enough at the mo.

What do I do

Its so nice of you to care about the other woman and warn her of his behavior/words, however, she is an adult and unfortunatetly if she wants to have contact with him in any way she will.

As far as you? You need to try your best to move on from this person (I won't even refer to him as a man). You deserve so much better for yourself, and if he is the head game, cheating type he is not going to change. I'm sorry if I am being harsh, but that is really the way I see this.

Its so nice of you to care about the other woman and warn her of his behavior/words, however, she is an adult and unfortunatetly if she wants to have contact with him in any way she will.

As far as you? You need to try your best to move on from this person (I won't even refer to him as a man). You deserve so much better for yourself, and if he is the head game, cheating type he is not going to change. I'm sorry if I am being harsh, but that is really the way I see this.

I never know where I stand with him, last weekend he was texting/ringing me when I was away saying that he loved and missed me so much, then he was telling my friends that it wasn't going to work the next day, then Monday he loved me again (I assume you all get the pic) yesterday he said he wanted to try again and he said that because my mates were emailing him and asking him why he was treating me like this way, today he told my mate that he didn't want this hassle that they gave him and it was over.

He text me tonight and just said tell your mates to stop hassling me and goodbye?? That it was my friends faut that he couldn't be with me because they ave him too much hassle?? I think this is just an excuse for him to wander even more

Help please

I surely wouldn't believe anything he says. Its up to you to continue with this misery and pain, so get busy making changes, like disappearing from his life.

I surely wouldn't believe anything he says. Its up to you to continue with this misery and pain, so get busy making changes, like disappearing from his life.

Thanks for your advice, I'm fed up of one day him loving me and then the next he says he don't think it will work, then next day he didn't mean what he said and he loved me. The other day he told my friend to tell me to go and "get laid" by other men?? That hurt me so much. When I asked him why he said it he said that he was angry and didn't mean it.

When I found out that he was discussing going on holiday with a "girl that was just a friend so he says" I was gutted, he turned round to me and says that she's just a mate as she has a daughter "but you never know eh" how could he say that to me?? Its killed my heart

I do love the guy but he is playing me for a fool,

Yes,he is playing you and he will continue to do so.That is not a relationship and it is not love.

Value yourself and do not allow anyone to treat you with such blatant disrespect.

I can't even imagine what could possibly keep you hanging on to this relationship.If it is hope that he will change,forget it.

If it is because you have invested time,you can't get that back but you can make certain you do not waste anymore .

Cut your losses,see it as a life experience you will never repeat and honor yourself by dumping this loser.

Yes,he is playing you and he will continue to do so.That is not a relationship and it is not love.

Value yourself and do not allow anyone to treat you with such blatant disrespect.

I can't even imagine what could possibly keep you hanging on to this relationship.If it is hope that he will change,forget it.

If it is because you have invested time,you can't get that back but you can make certain you do not waste anymore .

Cut your losses,see it as a life experience you will never repeat and honor yourself by dumping this loser.

Hi artlady, thanks for the advice, I know he is playing me for a fool, the whole thing is making me unwell, I've lost a stone in weight with not eating and my family are really concerned over my health.
He treats me badly but I still care, that shows what a fool I am!! Why does one day he loves me and the next he don't??

why does one day he loves me and the next he don't??
He says he loves you but he does not.You have to look at his actions.Look at how he is hurting you and literally making you ill.
He is no good and he will never be able to give you want you need.
Cut all ties with him and begin to get your life back.It is your only hope for happiness.

He says he loves you but he does not.You have to look at his actions.Look at how he is hurting you and literally making you ill.
He is no good and he will never be able to give you want you need.
Cut all ties with him and begin to get your life back.It is your only hope for happiness.

artlady, you don't know how much it hurts to see your words in bold, he don't love you. As he always tells me he does, that no other woman inc the ex gives him the alive feeling that I do/did. I know the best thing is to move on as what is a relationship without trust.? It kills me thinking that he will probablt be on Facebook now picking up more woman like I was nothing to him, I'm only 8 stone and 6 foot tall so you can imagine how ill I look and feel at the moment . Im hurting so bad xx

thanks for your advice, he told my friend that he has been playing mind games for 29 years and is good at it ???? The thought of him with another woman kills me so much but I know i should move on. I emailed the other woman and told her of his games and she booted him to the kerb but has since gotten back in touch, i emailed her telling her that he has been horrible about her but she hasnt replied to my email. I dont want her to think that im being nasty I just dont want to see her get hurt as she has Cerebal Palsy and is going through enough at the mo.

What do i do


Sounds to me like he is good at it, fooling two women at once. Try not to think of him with another woman, and when you do think of this it should give you the finally push to move on. Wow I'm actually surprised , thumps up to you. Most females would have some kind of jealousy of the "other women". You just need that final push to go ahead fully with no contact, sooner rather than later.

artlady, you dont know how much it hurts to see your words in bold, he dont love you. As he always tells me he does, that no other woman inc the ex gives him the alive feeling that i do/did. I know the best thing is to move on as what is a relationship without trust.??? It kills me thinking that he will probablt be on Facebook now picking up more woman like i was nothing to him, im only 8 stone and 6 foot tall so you can imagine how ill i look and feel at the moment . Im hurting so bad xx

I am sorry for your pain and if I was harsh but I just had to say it.
Actions speak louder than words.
He is saying he loves you one day because he wants to keep you hanging on while he sees if he can find someone else that he can be with.
That is just using you.He knows he can keep you to him,when he needs you if he lies and says he loves you.
Honor yourself dear and move on.You will get over the pain,it just takes time.

sounds to me like he is good at it, fooling two women at once. try not to think of him with another woman, and when you do think of this it should give you the finally push to move on. Wow im actually suprised , thumps up to you. most females would have some kind of jealousy of the "other women". you just need that final push to go ahead fully with no contact, sooner rather than later.

Misssy, I isn't jealous of the other woman/women, I just feel sorry for them. One of them has cerebal palsy and cannot walk, you see this guy preys and I use the word preys, on woman that are weak and vunerable. As when we met I was just newly separated from my husband and easy prey you could say.

It does hurt if I'm honest him being with other woman, I think the largest part is that I feel a fool to be fooled by him. At one time he was emailing me tell me he wanted to be with me whilst emailing his then supposed girlfriend. I know he meets woman off Facebook that he has only just met?? This as well as organising a holiday with a woman "mate", he said that they are just friends but you "never know eh", why would you say that to the woman you say you love.

Im losing weight fast, I'm 6 foot tall and 8 stone, my family are so worried about me

I am sorry for your pain and if I was harsh but I just had to say it.
Actions speak louder than words.
He is saying he loves you one day because he wants to keep you hanging on while he sees if he can find someone else that he can be with.
That is just using you.He knows he can keep you to him,when he needs you if he lies and says he loves you.
Honor yourself dear and move on.You will get over the pain,it just takes time.

artlady, you are right, I've been a fool. I know you were only trying to make me see sense so thank you. It kills me that I've been used, I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. How can a person be so cruel and play with peoples emotions??

He even bragged to my friend that he has had 29 yrs of playing mind games and is good at it?? Does that sum him up do think if he is bragging about that.

Im a 30 yr old woman living in a 4 bed detached, sports car and a degree and Masters whereas he is 29, living at home and has nothing in terms of qualifications so why am I bothered as I know I'm so much better than him!!

So why does my heart feel like its breaking? I hate going to bed as I just lie there and think what's been said etc

misssy, i aint jealous of the other woman/women, i just feel sorry for them. One of them has cerebal palsy and cannot walk, you see this guy preys and i use the word preys, on woman that are weak and vunerable. As when we met i was just newly seperated from my husband and easy prey you could say.

It does hurt if im honest him being with other woman, i think the largest part is that i feel a fool to be fooled by him. At one time he was emailing me tell me he wanted to be with me whilst emailing his then supposed girlfriend. I know he meets woman off Facebook that he has only just met ???? this as well as organising a holiday with a woman "mate", he said that they are just friends but you "never know eh", why would you say that to the woman you say you love.

Im losing weight fast, im 6 foot tall and 8 stone, my family are so worried about me

Yes I pointed out it was a good thing that you are not jealous. He sounds like B%£'**%, what he is doing to these vunerable women is disgusting. You need to get his man out of you life, for good. Why want someone like that, I know feelings get in the way of actions, but as you say this is affecting you and your family. Thinking about his actions will get you know where, trying to find out the reasons as to why will only dissappoint you. Because from what you are saying about him indicates that he does not care and he is taking advantage of you and other women. It time to think about yourself. You are letting this man affect you emotionally and physically.

Its like holding you hand over a flame, you know you will get burnt. Stop putting yourself through this. Get this man out of your life and let yourself move on. Start looking after yourself, your family is worried for a reason, eat well and get plenty of sleep.

So why does my heart feel like its breaking? I hate going to bed as I just lie there and think what's been said etc

Even when we break up with jerks,it still hurts.

You sound like an intelligent woman who has a lot going for her.
You need to concentrate on healing and believe me,there is a wealth of advice on this site dealing with the healing process.

Instead of dwelling on what could have been or should have been focus your efforts on how you can get through the pain and truly free yourself from this bad experience.

It takes work,but not nearly as much work as trying to makes a silk purse out of a sows ear.

If you need to rant... we are her to listen..

Thanks everyone for all your help and support. I know it does not sound much but I actually went to bed and turned my mobile off last night, rather than having it under my pillow waiting for the jerk to text/ring me.
The nights are so hard, I can't sleep, I'm thinking of going to the doctors to get some sleeping pills, I'm trying to start eating again.

Ive found a lump (down below) and I'm scared its cancer, I text this guy and told him that I isn't interested in his arguments with my friends as I'm scared that I have cancer and he has never replied?? I think that shows it all really doesn't it??

He only cares for himself, he just uses people and moves onto the next target when he I done or feels like he is getting know where with them.

Some hours of the day I pity him so much and glad I'm not with him and other I think he could changed (I know deep down he won't as I'm not silly). I understand that even if we did get together that I would never be able to trust him, that I would always be wondering who he was meeting up with behind my back from Facebook.

But still, I'm hurting and not eating and now I've got this lump that I'm scared to death is cancer, I'm too scared to get it checked out as its in a very personal place of my body (lady bits). I don't know how much more I can take to be honest. I should be looking forward in my life, I've got a trip to Oz planned in May for a month which I'm told is a trip of a lifetime but I just don't care at the moment.

What's wrong with me, I don't want to admit depression and take tabs as I don't want this guy to have that much of an impact on my life, I just want to move on, everyday is a struggle to get out of bed and live. Plus to top it all off I've just been made redundant, I don't know how much more I can take??

First and foremost, cut off all contact with him whatsoever. That includes facebook, emails and texts, That's a must for starting the healing process. It allows the emotions to settle.

I know your feeling a lot of feelings right now, and are in shock, and feel overwhelmed, that's normal for us humans who cared, we all have been through that, but time, and a few suggestions, will help get you through the pain, and confusion.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, there is a link in my signature, and you'll find some very good ways to deal with this very hard situation, by those who have dealt with it before.

He has not been good to you, but you still must be good to yourself. You can mourn your loss, and be stronger, and wiser for it, but you have to give yourself some time, and some special attention.

I'm so down, I don't know how il ever shake this feeling off, at times I have horrible feelings like I want to end it all, but then think he is really worth that??

I supposed I liked him telling me how beautiful I was and all those other nice things even if they were lies. If my confidence wasn't on the floor before it certainly is now, ic ouldnt get any lower, especially now I've fond the lump as mentioned above... how do I move on

I'm trying my best to keep myself busy but its not working, I'm just pretending at being happy and feel like my life is passing me by.

My friends have asked him if he loves me and he says very deeply, that I'm his soulmate and that any other woman he dates he don't get that "butterflies" feeling in the stomach when he is with them like he did with me

How can a person say they love you and want to get back together with you and at the same time plan a holiday with another woman (he says there just mates), surly even if they were just mates that's something that you wouldn't do if you wanted to get back together with someone?? PLEASE HELP, IM DESPERATE AND ALONE

Build your confidence by not just staying busy, but doing things you enjoy doing, and accomplishing small personal goals for yourself. Make a list, and make a plan, to do the things on the list.

Being alone is not accurate, as just reading the stories of others here will let you know that a lot of people are in the same situation you are, trying to cope with a loss, and the feelings that brings.

Between the stickies, and the stories, you'll find loads of good suggestions. It means a lot of hard work, and time to learn and overcome, but its doable.

Sorry no magic pills, just honest work! Just do it, even though you don't want to and repair the bridges that got neglected when this fellow came into your life, like friends and family you haven't seen.

The life lesson you must learn is how to cope with yourself, and your feelings, and not depend on the lies of an a$$hole to be happy with who you are.

Now go get your hair, or nails done and start getting busy loving yourself.

Make doing something good for yourself a priority, everyday you wake up.

God if there were majic pills eh!! The person selling them would make a fortune. Im trying hard not to go into my Facebook account to see if the other woman has emailed me about why she is back in contact with her and my ex. I know that I shouldn't be bothered, if she is with him then I have warned her what he is like and the not pleasant things he has said about her and like someone said on here she is a grown adult and can make her own choices. I just care about her beause she can't walk and has cerebal palsy. I don't blame her for being with my ex when I was as I 100% believe that she had no idea he was playing us both for fools.

I don't know what I want to achieve by kep checking my Facebook account, if I find out she is seeing him then yes it will hurt but I'm more worried for her, if she don't answer my email I'm wondering are they dating behind my back. I can't win, I'm trying my best to forget him as I know he is an a$$hole.

Worry about yourself for now, just because she can't walk doesn't mean she can't take care of herself.

Worry about yourself for now, just because she can't walk doesn't mean she can't take care of herself.

I understand, it just makes me so so flaming mad that he can do this to someone with this disability. He thinks that he can play with peoples emotions like he does. It was my friend who told her that he was seeing us at the same time (my friend didn't do it out of spite just thought that if she was in the same position she hoped that someone would tell her)

My ex told me he wasn't seeing this other girl in Jan and she said they split up mid Jan!!

I was on holiday in Egypt at xmas and he was ring ing me and texting me giving me the I love you and can't wait to hold you again etc etc, when I got home I saw that he had been telling this other woman the same thing on her Facebook page. It made me feel cheap and used, all I have ever done is love and want the best for him and all he does is make me look and feel a fool time and time again

I'm just scared that I'm going down a slippery path, and I don't think he is worth that pain

I want to address another issue, which is far more important than this lying, cheating abuser. Yes, he IS abusing you mentally and emotionally.

You MUST get yourself to a DOCTOR! You say you are 8 Stone, and 6 foot tall. If I'm correct, that is about 108 pounds. (my kids live in the UK, so I kind of know) That is MUCH TO THIN for your height! You need to start putting on some weight, or you could get very very sick, and end up in the hospital! And for what? For this sorry excuse for a man?

Also, you mentioned this lump! This would make me VERY concerned! My first guess wouldn't be cancer. My FIRST guess would be an STD! I'm sure you've had sex with this guy, am I right? He could have given you a number of scary diseases! Herpes was the first thing that came to mind, although it could be a number of things. I don't mean to scare you, but you NEED TO GET TO THE DR. ASAP!! There is no other way to say it! You are putting your health at extreme risk!

There is also NO SHAME in depression. You need to understand that! No one is going to think you're crazy, no one is going to look at you in shame or disgust. Depression is REAL, and has been proven to be life threatening in itself! It does sound to me that you are extremely depressed, and I don't even think that it has much to do with this guy who is sucking the life out of you! It is only your perception of it! This man is TOXIC to you. He is your POISON, and you are willingly drinking it! Ask yourself---is this man worth your LIFE? I certainly hope not.

No wonder your family is worried for you. Please see a Dr. and get some help with both your physical issues, and your own mental health! There are some very good and caring Dr.'s out there, that will give you the help and resources that you need. Please do this!

I don't think its an std the lump, I've been reading up on them, I only slept with him once and that was 6 months ago. The lump is solid and under my skin, I've been looking at pics on net and it looks nothing like herpes etc, I've looked at it and you can't see anything just feel a massive lump under my skin.

Ive alays been slim but not this thin, when I told my ex via text last night that I thought it maybe cancer he has not responded!! That speaks volumes don't it!!

i dont think its an std the lump, ive been reading up on them, i only slept with him once and that was 6 months ago. The lump is solid and under my skin, ive been looking at pics on net and it looks nothing like herpes etc, ive looked at it and you can't see anything just feel a massive lump under my skin.

Ive alays been slim but not this thin, when i told my ex via text last night that i thought it maybe cancer he has not responded !!!! that speaks volumes dont it !!!!

That sure does speak volumes! In fact it's blowing the speakers! He does not have your best interests at heart, in any way, shape, or form! This guy is NOT good for you. I would bet every red cent I had that this mate he is going on a holiday with, is DEFINITELY not just a mate! That's as plain as the nose on my face.

Also, an STD does NOT always show up right away at all, and herpes does not always look like it does in the pictures. It can lay dormant, and then show up in the form of a lump under the skin. It may not be that, I'm just saying it very well could be. This guy doesn't sound like he has any morals at all, so I bet for every one girl you know he's cheated with, there were 5 or 10 others, waiting in the wings! You can be assured of that! I can spot a liar and a cheater a mile away, and this guy is BAD NEWS! You are lying to yourself if you think that only sleeping with him once, 6 months ago, that he didn't give you something. My bet is still on an STD. Again, are you willing to risk your life for a man that quite obviously doesn't give a rats A$$ about you? I know that hurts to hear, but the truth isn't always kind. We can all see what he is doing to you honey, and it's not good!

Involve yourself in that trip to Australia. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to be able to go! Not many people have a chance like that! It would be an incredible waste of a plane ticket, to NOT be thinking of this wonderful trip, but instead to be thinking of this MORON who will NEVER be there for you when you need him.

You need to get a life away from him... PERIOD! Stop dwelling on this, and recognise that he is a bad influence on your life!

That sure does speak volumes! In fact it's blowing the speakers! He does not have your best interests at heart, in any way, shape, or form!! This guy is NOT good for you. I would bet every red cent I had that this mate he is going on a holiday with, is DEFINITELY not just a mate! That's as plain as the nose on my face.

Also, an STD does NOT always show up right away at all, and herpes does not always look like it does in the pictures. It can lay dormant, and then show up in the form of a lump under the skin. It may not be that, I'm just saying it very well could be. This guy doesn't sound like he has any morals at all, so I bet for every one girl you know he's cheated with, there were 5 or 10 others, waiting in the wings! You can be assured of that! I can spot a liar and a cheater a mile away, and this guy is BAD NEWS! You are lying to yourself if you think that only sleeping with him once, 6 months ago, that he didn't give you something. My bet is still on an STD. Again, are you willing to risk your life for a man that quite obviously doesn't give a rats A$$ about you? I know that hurts to hear, but the truth isn't always kind. We can all see what he is doing to you honey, and it's not good!

Involve yourself in that trip to Australia. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to be able to go! Not many people have a chance like that! It would be an incredible waste of a plane ticket, to NOT be thinking of this wonderful trip, but instead to be thinking of this MORON who will NEVER be there for you when you need him.

You need to get a life away from him....PERIOD! Stop dwelling on this, and recognise that he is a bad influence on your life!

You are right, I'm pretty sure it isn't an std but will pluck up the courage to go to the docs to find out, its just I'm very embarrassed about doing this??

I will try and get myself involved in the oz trip, its only 8 weeks away and should be the trip of a life time. I also found out that this guy told me he was going to Russia on hol and he went down to see his ex, he was even emailing me from her house telling me he loved and missed me!! What a cheek eh.

Im trying to turn my feelings off, he is an a$$ and I realise that so I suppose that's a start isn't it?? Like I said in a previous blog, I'm a 30 yr old with a 4 bed detached in a nice area, sports car, good friends and family, a degree and a masters so I think I have a lot going for me, whereas he is 30 , living at home and don't seem to want to move out.

I know he is a complete to$$er but still think of him and that makes me angry for doing so

What games people play and from what you describe this a right roaring one ! If you have so much my dear, 4 bed detached, nice car, friends and family and a degree, why are you boithering with tripe who can't even come out of the woodwork.

Tick

what games people play and from what you describe this a right roaring one ! If you have so much my dear, 4 bed detached, nice car, friends and family and a degree, why are you boithering with tripe who can't even come out of the woodwork.

tick

I know I have a lot but still can't understand why I'm so bothered by this creep??

Honey, if attention is all you're after, there are better ways to go about it. What do you have a masters in?

Honey, if attention is all you're after, there are better ways to go about it. What do you have a masters in?

I'm not after attention, just to be loved and treated with respect... is that too much to ask from a guy?? My masters is in tourism management

Okay, but how can you get what you want here. You have already have some of the best adivvice we can offer but you still want more. What can we offer you ? You have our input and you have to utilize that information

If you want to search, try another site if this one hasn't offered you what you want.

Get a life.

Tick

okay, but how can you get what you want here. You have already have some of the best adivce we can offer but you still have more yout want !

If you want to search, try another site if this one hasnt offered you what you want.

Get a life.

tick

Get a life?? Is that you being nasty or telling me to move on and forget him??

Move on and forget him. We've told you time and time again, that this man is venom to you. I don't think you are telling us the entire truth here. I have never heard of such a thing as a "masters" in tourism.

get a life ?????? is that you being nasty or telling me to move on and forget him ??????

Okay, yes, what has he given you but a lot of grief and lies. What are your options ? He said he has another woman, he sits on his computer (from your information) and tells you all he has others. How do you now he is not juvenile playing people ?

Tick

If he can't commit, then you need to move on.

We spent time with you away from other questions. If you do indeed have a masters and all your say you do, then something doesn't add up here! When something doesn't make sense, it's not the truth. Is that why you left?

Okay, what requirements, procedures, and arrangements have to be made to fly to Australia from the UK? Careful now, I know the answer.

I'm not after attention, just to be loved and treated with respect... is that too much to ask from a guy??

If he is the wrong guy walk away, and see a doctor about the lump and be done with this assuming presuming and worrying.

Until your actions match your words, you will never get beyond what a liar has done to you.

Being treated with love and respect is one thing, but teaching people how to treat you is another. You are showing him he doesn't need to treat you with any respect whatsoever. His actions don't surprise me.

Again, awaiting your response. We also have our masters in spotting non truth tellers.

If you tell us the truth, we will help you.

The OP is a very insecure person, and she needs to step back and realize what she is doing to herself, agonizing about this fellow who, it seems, has other irons in the fire and that is all he is interested in apparently.

He is playing all his ends towards the middle and just loving it, I imagine.

Tick

I think you should read this whole exchange every day. This should remind you that he is a toxic creep and you need to leave him alone.

He is unhealthy relationship wise and is taking you there with him.You deserve better and should cut contact completely not even find out info through friends.

I've been with my ex for 2 years off and on

You need to step away from the situation and ask yourself, "is there a reason we are off and on?"


We were back on in November last year and have just found he was also seeing another woman behind my back. He says that they wernt together when we were but I don't believe that's true.

So, do you know for sure? Or are you speculating? If so, why would you want to be with a liar and a cheat, anyway?


Also, one day he tells me that he loves me and wants to get back together then the next he says he is unsure

Surely, you don't want to be with someone that's consistently inconsistent, do you?


Yesterday I was going to meet up with him and found out only 1 hour later that he is back friends with her on Facebook?? I texted him to ask him why he was asking me to get back with him an thing going behind my back with her on Facebook, and funnily enough I've never heard from him today!!

OK. Now through trial and tribulation, you know that he's a liar and a scum bag, yet, you still talk to him.


What should I do? I do love the guy but he is playing me for a fool, one day he loves me and then the next day he doesn't know whether we will work out, he is 30 yrs old and still living at home so not the best catch in the world I suppose but I love him

Enough said.

;forget him hun tell him that you want to be someone thats gonna threat you like the amazing person you are......And if he wants to act the player all the time leave him to it because one day he will find a girl that will mess around with him just like he;s being messing around with you ;)

Move on and forget him. We've told you time and time again, that this man is venom to you. I don't think you are telling us the entire truth here. I have never heard of such a thing as a "masters" in tourism.

What? Im not lying, I have a BA (Hons) International Tourism Management as well as a MA Tourism Management gained from the Uni in Preston Lancs, unlike the scum bag ex I don't lie, I have no need to and I am highly offended that you think I would, I spent many hard years after my best friends death gaining those qualifications

Im gutted that starbucks thinks I've made my qualifications up, my best friend died in sept 05 just as I was about to start my MA, I was going to give up and not start the course but then thought I would do it in her memory, as she would have been proud of me for doing that. That's why your comments hurt so much.

Please see proof that the course exists, its now changed to an MSC for some reason as I did complete mine 3 yrs ago

University of Central Lancashire - List of Courses (http://www.uclan.ac.uk/information/courses/international_tourism_planning_and_development_msc .php)

I sincerely appologize for offending you, and I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Although, if you read back, much of this seemed very off the wall, in the way you presented it to us. We are not mind readers, and we only know what you tell us. I'm not uneducated, and very happy to learn that there is such a program in the UK. However, the link that you provide is a one to two year "course." You don't obtain a "Masters Degree" in a one/two yr. course. A legitimate "Masters Degree" takes many years. This is why I questioned what you stated.

The fact remains that this relationship is unhealthy and toxic. This man is 30 years old and living at home. He's a liar, a cheater, and quite obviously has no moral beliefs. He has nothing to offer you. You are holding onto something that isn't there to hold onto! This man, and I use that term lightly, has no substance, no foundation, no love or respect for you. What are you mourning? I would be celebrating!

You need to find yourself a different direction in your life. You need to focus on other things. You are being too needy and clinging to a fantasy.

Focus your energy elsewhere. Find some other activities and meet some new people. People that don't live with their parents at the age of 30! People that don't lie, cheat, manipulate, and strip you of yourself worth and confidence. They will only drag you down with them, and that is what this scum bag has done to you.

You can't expect to come online and have people pat you on the head if you want sincere advice. Don't chastise me for not having a crystal ball and being able to see into your life. I give advice, and it's on my free time. You asked for it, and there it is. Take it or leave it. It makes no difference to me. But if I am trying to give you advice, then I expect entirely truthful information so I can give it.

Here in the UK you can obtain a Masters Degree (full time) in one year, yes that's very quick but the course is intense and very very demanding, the course takes 3-4 yrs part time. Mst Masters degrees in the UK takes 2 yrs but I'm very pleased to say not this one.

Im sorry if I came acoss rude but I felt offended after the loss of my best friend and equate my hard work and effort in my Masters to my best friend

I do appreciate all the help and advice I have been given so can I just say that to start with. So Thank you to everyone who has posted. Where I am in my life at the moment I thought there wernt many nice people around tbh. So everyone on here is restoring my faith a little more everyday, I understand that you all give up your free time to offer this help and again Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't want to sound ungrateful. Everything that I've told you is the truth, yes it sounds so off the wall and I can understand why you all think that, as now looking back with a bit of a clearer head it does tome too.!

Im trying to get on with my life, trying not to think about this guy, the one thing that hurts me is what he said to my friend he said to tell me that my friends have f**ked it up for us getting back together?? When only the day before he wanted to, I think he is using my friends as an excuse/get out clause. If he loved me he would be with me regardless of the hassle my friends give him. When I say hassle they only point out the nasty things he has/is doing to me and obviously he does not want to hear that)

Im going to try getting involved in the Oz trip, even though my heart isn't really into it at the moment, I'm trying my best to get the images out of my head with him swanning around with other woman while I'm here feeling like someone has cut my heart out.

I know deep down in my heart that he was a nasty piece of work, that he was bringing me down with him. Like I said earlier I do have a lot going for me (im told) house, family,friends, BA and MA etc.

I'm trying to keep myself busy, but I feel like I'm just pretending at being happy, rather than actually being happy?? Is this normal

Im having a moment of weakness, so I thought id spend my time on here rather than emailing/texting my ex.! Im trying so hard to forget him but its soooo hard. Im trying to get the pic of him with other woman out my head, I just can't understand howsomeone can ask me to get back together with him and at the same time plan a hol with another woman?? Even if they are friends its just so wrong... rant over ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I've just found out that the girl my ex is going on holiday with knew nothing about me, how nice is that!! My friend emailed her, I really wish my friends would just let things lie tbh.

This girl says that my ex is a very good mate and nothing more but I do think she likes him,she thinks the sun shines out of his ar$e but is going to talk to him about the situation, apparently my friend told her about me and that she was going on hol with a guy that uses/lies to people and only a few days was trying to get back with me.

I do feel for this woman as she has a 12 yr old daughter but I know I can't control the world and peoples actions eh? I just hate it that he never told her about me,

ive just found out that the girl my ex is going on holiday with knew nothing about me, how nice is that !!!! my friend emailed her, i really wish my friends would just let things lie tbh.

This girl says that my ex is a very good mate and nothing more but i do think she likes him,she thinks the sun shines out of his ar$e but is going to talk to him about the situation, apparently my friend told her about me and that she was going on hol with a guy that uses/lies to people and only a few days was trying to get back with me.

I do feel for this woman as she has a 12 yr old daughter but I know i can't control the world and peoples actions eh? I just hate it that he never told her about me,

Honestly, you need to step away from the situation, ENTIRELY. Ask your friends to be supportive and NOT to bring up any news about her. If they aren't willing to do that, then find new friends in the mean time. As, this constant barrage of information will re-open the already slow healing wounds as is.

Honestly, you need to step away from the situation, ENTIRELY. Ask your friends to be supportive and NOT to bring up any news about her. If they aren't willing to do that, then find new friends in the mean time. As, this constant barrage of information will re-open the already slow healing wounds as is.

I'm trying my best to walk away, I really am, what hurts is that he said to my mate to tell me, because they were asking him why he was treating me like he was (he said they were giving him hassle but that's not true, they were just pointing out what a to$$er he was being to me) He said that he don't want to get back together as he is fed up of them giving him hassle, even though the day before he wanted to get back together and text me asking me that. He is just using my friends as an excuse, if he wanted to make a go of it then he would regardless of my mates.

The thought of him on hol with this woman kills me inside but I can't do anything to stop it so I'm trying not to think of it and that's god damn hard

Yes, it's difficult. But, what are you doing to take your mind off the situation?

Perhaps you can

1. RUN
2. APPLY FOR JOBS
3. GET A HOBBY
4. READ
5. CLEAN
6. GO FOR WALKS

Do something productive instead of sitting around and moping.

Yes, it's difficult. But, what are you doing to take your mind off the situation?

Perhaps you can

1. RUN
2. APPLY FOR JOBS
3. GET A HOBBY
4. READ
5. CLEAN
6. GO FOR WALKS

Do something productive instead of sitting around and moping.

1, Run - I can't do that as I'm ill at the mo
2. Aplly for Jobs - doing that and getting knowhwere fast as they say I'm too qualified as I've a masters degree
3. Get a hobby - yeah that's a good idea
4. Read - I do that and can't concentrate because of thinking of HIM
5. Clean - That's all I do and my house is like a palace now thanks to him lol!!
6. Walks - I walk my dog everyday to think and all I think of is him!!

Im trying so hard to keep myself busy, god I think I've tried everything, the nights are the worst though, just lying there thinking of him with other woman, going through conversations thinking what I could have done/said differently.
I need to move on, I know I'm better than his lying cheating scumbag ways

1, Run - i can't do that as im ill at the mo
2. Aplly for Jobs - doing that and getting knowhwere fast as they say im too qualified as ive a masters degree
3. Get a hobby - yeah thats a good idea
4. Read - I do that and can't concentrate coz of thinking of HIM
5. Clean - Thats all I do and my house is like a palace now thanks to him lol !!!!!
6. Walks - I walk my dog everyday to think and all i think of is him !!!!!

Im trying so hard to keep myself busy, god i think ive tried everything, the nights are the worst though, just lying there thinking of him with other woman, going through conversations thinking what i could have done/said differently.
I need to move on, i know im better than his lying cheating scumbag ways

It sucks, and it sucks bad. But, just hang in there. The pain eases bit by bit every week.

It sucks, and it sucks bad. But, just hang in there. The pain eases bit by bit every week.

I was going to say can I have that in writing but it was lol!! Im trying keep my pecker up, I really am, sorry to go on but while I'm on here I isn't texting the ex. Thanks for all your help and advice xxx

No problem. How about going out and watching a new film?

No problem. How about going out and watching a new film?

That's a good point, I've organised to go to cinema wed pm. I feel like I'm just trying to be happy and it should come naturally, how come I've done nothing but love and care for this guy and I'm feeling like this and he has cheated and lied and is swanning around playing the smug little git?? Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

More reason to leave him alone.

Trust me when I say this, you will find someone who will love and respect you.

Karma is not lovely.

More reason to leave him alone.

Trust me when I say this, you will find someone who will love and respect you.

Karma is not lovely.

I could never trust him anyway, all his mates were saying to me that he can't be trusted so enough said really if that's from his mates. I knew we could never have a serious future as I could never trust him, I was always wondering what he was up to on the damn Facebook, I know he was seeing/meeting women behind my back. One day he says he loves me and the next he tells my mates that he don't?? I found it all very strange

Stay away from social networking websites.

How can a guy say he loves and wants to be with you one day and then change his mind the next, then that day after change it back

He can say he loves you, but it's another thing to ACTUALLY love you. If he really did, he wouldn't be playing childish games with you.

I've cut off contact with this woman with whom he is going to go on hol with, I'm dying to know what he has said to her but in the back of mind I know that he will have lied to her and told her what she wants to hear.

The thought of them on hol rips me apart, how can a guy ask to get back with me and at the same time plan a hol with another woman whether its just mates or not?? That's not right, at the same time as asking me for another go he was back on Facebook and in contact with the girl he originally cheated on me with. Its like a double whammy blow

Nice rant, get it all out!!

Its been 3 days now and NC, I'm trying to keep busy. What hurts is how he hasn't got back in touch since I told him I'm scared that the lump maybe cancer. How can someone hear that and then not reply to his ex??

I suppose it was the wake up call that I needed, I just can't understand how someone can not respond when someone tells them that there scared they hasve cancer?? That's below human in my book

Well I've cleaned my house, took the dog out, pegged washing out etc. Why should it be me that has to keep busy and feel lke shat all the time when h's the one that lies, cheats and plays me for a complete fool

He is probably at that woman's house right now cosying up to her ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm having a moment of weakness and was going to text my ex and ask why he isn't interested when I said I was worried that I may have cancer but decided to rant on here instead as I've been told to do in earlier posts!!

It hurts that he don't care that I could be seriously ill, how could anyone be that cruel??

im having a moment of weakness and was going to text my ex and ask why he isnt interested when i said i was worried that i may have cancer but decided to rant on here instead as ive been told to do in earlier posts !!!!!

It hurts that he dont care that i could be seriously ill, how could anyone be that cruel ???



My husband was in and out of the hospital, often in critical condition, for over 5 years. I saw family after family, friend after friend, walk away from other patients because the family/friends "couldn't handle it." I saw people who were (literally) dying alone and afraid.

Now that I'm a widow I find I make people nervous - if "it" happened to me, "it" could happen to them.

It's a sad fact of life but not everyone is honorable, not everyone has the fortitude to stay when times get tough, not everyone can handle "it."

I'm sure you're hurt and angry - how can people behave like this? But they do and I saw it with my own eyes.

When do you face the fact he is a jerk, and player, and learn from the experience, instead of expecting him to be there for you, which is why you tell him your fears, and not a doctor. That's not realistic, nor practical.

Sorry to break your rant, but playing with a snake, and wondering why he bit you, is not realistic

im having a moment of weakness and was going to text my ex and ask why he isnt interested when i said i was worried that i may have cancer but decided to rant on here instead as ive been told to do in earlier posts !!!!!

It hurts that he dont care that i could be seriously ill, how could anyone be that cruel ???

I'm sorry, but you seem to be having more time on your hands to sit and worry about him, and him being with someone else, instead of going to the Dr. to determine the nature of this lump! Cancer is only speculation on your part, at this point in time. If I found a lump and was so worried about it being cancer, the last thing on my mind would be my loser boyfriend and who he's sleeping with! Why haven't you gone to the Dr. Honestly, to me this sounds like you are crying wolf in order to get his attention! If it turns out to be cancer, then I am truly sorry, but you won't know until you have a diagnosis will you! Why are you still sitting around and dwelling on him, instead of getting yourself in to see your Dr.

We have sat and listened to your story, and we have given you our advice. You don't seem to want to take it. When given a list of things to do to occupy your time, you came up with a bunch of excuses why you couldn't do almost all of these things. It's time to shat or get off the pot!

When do you face the fact he is a jerk, and player, and learn from the experience, instead of expecting him to be there for you, which is why you tell him your fears, and not a doctor. Thats not realistic, nor practical.

Sorry to break your rant, but playing with a snake, and wondering why he bit you, is not realistic

I'm an idiot I know, when someone says they love you, you think that they mean it. I wouldn't say that to someone unless I meant it. Only last weekend he was telling me that he loved me and missed me so much and that my friends "having a go at him" have ended any chances of us getting back together.

It makes me mad that he hasn't got the guts to say to me, look I can't be with just one person so its not fair on you for us to be in a relationship. When I found out he was back friends with this girl (his ex as well, he started seeing her when with me) I text him asking him what the hell was going on, why was he getting in touch with her and at the same time asking for us to getback together? Now I'm not sure if it was him or her that instigated the contact on Facebook, but even if it was her then he should have said look I'm trying to get back with my ex so now is not a good time to be friends on here.

Then there is the woman he is going on holiday with (friend he and she's says, but I'm sure each want more), why was he planning a holiday with her and at the same time (weekend before last) begging me via text/calls) to come back to him, that he loves me and misses me so much, that I'm the other half of him and he isn't met anyone like me ever before.

I found out that this other ex (who has cerebal palsy and lives approx 200 miles away) was going to come down in April for his 30th birthday but obviousley not now she found out about his lying cheating scumbag ways. When he was begging me to come back last week he asked me to come to his birthday, I asked why and he replied that he wanted "to show me off, as I was the most beautiful person that he ever had the pleasure of meeting"

God why am I such a walkover for him, I know that you are going to say I am because I let myself?? Well not anymore people. Im taking control and riding off into the sunset. Im starting to eat and I don't want to see his face ever again.

I won't lie, the thought of him bouncing from woman to woman kills me inside and I don't know how I'm ever going to get over that gut renching feeling, we've been on and off for 2 yrs, I asked him why we always keep bouncing back to each other and he says "love thats why", at times he does the most amazing things for me and is so kind but more times than not he just lies and ignores my texts until it suits him and his lifestyle to reply, and I'm there lying in bed waiting for him to call/text.

God I'm so down at the moment, some parts of the day I think I'm OK and will get through this, I keep myself busy and at the end of the housework and dog walking etc I look at my watch and realise I've only "killed" 1 hour whch felt like a lifetime

Sorry again for the ranting, I suppose I'm better ranting on here then texting him eh xxx

Thanks again for all your help and advice xxxx

I'm sorry, but you seem to be having more time on your hands to sit and worry about him, and him being with someone else, instead of going to the Dr. to determine the nature of this lump! Cancer is only speculation on your part, at this point in time. If I found a lump and was so worried about it being cancer, the last thing on my mind would be my loser boyfriend and who he's sleeping with! Why haven't you gone to the Dr.? Honestly, to me this sounds like you are crying wolf in order to get his attention! If it turns out to be cancer, then I am truly sorry, but you won't know until you have a diagnosis will you!? Why are you still sitting around and dwelling on him, instead of getting yourself in to see your Dr.?

We have sat and listened to your story, and we have given you our advice. You don't seem to want to take it. When given a list of things to do to occupy your time, you came up with a bunch of excuses why you couldn't do almost all of these things. It's time to shat or get off the pot!

Maybe I am trying to frighten him into text me and asking me if I'm OK, if I did that last week then I didn't do it intentionally, I really did think that it maybe cancer, I never told him I had it just that I'm scared that I could. Either way, I told him that last Friday and haven't heard from him since so that speaks volumes to me.

Im going to keep an eye on the lump and if it hasn't gone in a week then I'm off to the doctors, you are right, maybe I used the lump to get some attention from this creep which I regret now. I just hope it isn't cancer tbh.

As for the list, I was trying to be negative, I've tried most of things on the list and I'm going to take up a hobby as suggested, I'm doing my very best to keep busy and active, my poor dog is walked to the bone and I'm surprised he has any paws left but heaint complaining lol!!

I meant above as for the list I Wasn't trying to be negative!! Sorry damn laptop keys lol xx

Well, I'm on day 4 of NC, I didn't thik I've ever get to this day without contacting him. Im still so very raw and nothing I do seems to make me forget him but I suppose at least I've gained a little self respect back if nothing else??

It does not help being made redundant, I've got too much time on my hands and I know it, I'm trying to keep busy, last night the dog received another 2 hour walk

Thanks for listening to my rants folks, its much appreciated xx

well, im on day 4 of NC, i didnt thik ive ever get to this day tbh without contacting him. Im still so very raw and nothing I do seems to make me forget him but I suppose at least ive gained a little self respect back if nothing else ???

It does not help being made redundant, ive got too much time on my hands and i know it, im trying to keep busy, last night the dog recieved another 2 hour walk

Thanks for listening to my rants folks, its much appreciated xx



When I got divorced years ago I walked the LEGS off my dogs - so I know what you mean.

Hang in there!

Seems your married, and already having this affair. So what's the real truth, and why do you have to change user names for more feedback? Can you explain why you left the info of your marriage out? Was it shame, or just trying to get a loser ex back?

That leave me with the impression of you being a liar, and a cheater, who got dumped by your booty on the side. Is that an accurate assumption on my part??

You cheated, he cheats, and your wondering why this is so messy? Being dishonest, and selfish, usually does complicate things.

Seems your married, and already having this affair. So whats the real truth, and why do you have to change user names for more feedback? Can you explain why you left the info of your marriage out? Was it shame, or just trying to get a loser ex back?

That leave me with the impression of you being a liar, and a cheater, who got dumped by your booty on the side. Is that an accurate assumption on my part???

You cheated, he cheats, and your wondering why this is so messy? Being dishonest, and selfish, usually does complicate things.

I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you mean. Ive never opened two accounts and I'm being honest with you. Im not a liar, I've told everyone the truth.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/why-do-still-want-cheating-ex-when-have-wonderful-hubby-330301-2.html,

So you didn't make this post then?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/why-do-still-want-cheating-ex-when-have-wonderful-hubby-330301-2.html,

So you didn't make this post then?

Good catch with finding the other thread! I had this feeling from almost the very beginning. There were just too many inconsistancies here, and things just didn't add up at all.

Good catch with finding the other thread! I had this feeling from almost the very beginning. There were just too many inconsistancies here, and things just didn't add up at all.



And what is the joy of taking up people's time and energy, getting them involved in pretend situations, unless you have some really serious mental problems?

I suspect the OP will next set her hair on fire to get attention!

I stayed away from this one mostly because OP just wouldn't give up posting one new situation after another. I had to grit my teeth every time she came on again and someone responded !

Tick

I stayed away from this one mostly because OP just wouldnt give up posting one new situation after another. I had to grit my teeth every time she came on again and someone responded !

tick



I certainly wouldn't have responded if someone had given me the heads up but I had no sense of any of this until today.