Hello folks,

Im a 20 year old male student. I have had a really low or no self esteem all my life. Im not good with social settings, outings, parties, etc.

I donot come from a dysfunctional family.

Problem is, Im 20 now and Im failing at everything. I wasted a whole year studying something which I changed and Im starting fresh with something totally new this year. None of my friends or my family members are happy with what Im doing.
I have never been in a relationship with a girl. And this is really starting to worry me... I may be the next "40 year old virgin"...

I know this may not be the right time for me to put myself into a relationship.. But someday I have to get married and have a family right? That's what all humans do (I think?)..

I have no confidence over talking to chics, nor to smart people. My list goes on and on.. I have an average height.

Im losing interest in life basically. What should I do. I cannot afford to pay $100+ per hour for a professional counselor. My university counselor is free but its budget. Im practically eating only about once a day, Ive lost about 20 pounds doing nothing. Social interaction is at all time low. Im getting thoughs of running away, harming myself or to end my life.

This message is long and boring sorry, but I need any views on this..
Please help

Thanks

Maybe the best thing for you to do is to get into counseling and/or maybe join a support group. There is help out there and free help at that.

I am concern about you having sucidal thoughts and that isn't good. Whenever these thoughts creep into your head cal 1-800-273-talk. They're open 24/7 and available any time you need to talk to someone.

Also, you can read some self-help books that can help you build up your esteem and confidence. Once this is build up you would see the difference and it can help your social life. Also, you can even Google these things that can help you too.

What are some things you enjoy doing for fun. Are you interested in belonging to group and meeting people with the same interests as you?

If so you might want to check out this website Use the Internet to get off the Internet! - Meetup.com (http://www.meetup.com) On this site you can join a group with people with the same interest as you and it can help you to becoming social. I am a member of a group in NY and we get together from time to time to hang out. Next month I am going join a swing dancing group because I like swing dancing. You can click on your city and all the groups in your area will come up.

I wish you the best and hope you get the help needed to better yourself and you can always come on here to talk.

First off Chrissy you need to reread what I wrote because if did you would see the following:

1) I wrote there are plenty of self help books out there that could help him build up his self-esteem and confidence.

2) I left a number for him to call whenever feels like hurting himself. It is the national suicide hotline number.

I never stated the above had anything to do with his social life so next time read things more carefully. And then go and read the rating rules.

these are all things he'd have to do alone. Talking on a phone is no where near being social in public.
Chrissy, these are some of MANY things he can do! Reading self-help books will give him good ideas on how to start a conversation and how his body language will affect his interaction with others. The phone number is for a suicide hotline.

One can't be in a social situation 24/7. There has to be some alone-time to read and ponder and strategize--to get to know oneself better and to figure out what needs changing.

When you post a "disagree," there have to be facts behind it. Your "disagee" was an opinion.

Thank you Wondergirl because I don't think she understood what I wrote but I'm glad someone did.

chrissymarie disagrees: OK... call me crazy but I just don't see how being alone will help you be social. Either your with people and talking to them or your alone. Its simple. But call me crazy.
Yes, you are and you can't read either.