I am a mom to a teenager and I think she is pregnant. How do I know she is? What should I do?

Talk to her, not us. Tell her that she can confide in you about anything, and that you are there for her no matter what. But she needs to take responsibility for her actions.

OR

To not accuse her, tell her its about time for her annual pap smear. Take her to get her pap, and make sure the doctor lets you know the results.

To not accuse her, tell her its about time for her anual pap smear. Take her to get her pap, and make sure the doctor lets you know the results.

Goodness, this certainly will NOT work. PAP smears are not necessary unless a woman is sexually active. Secondly, the doctor is not allowed to give the results to anyone unless the patient signs a release. This is to protect the patient's privacy, and it does not matter how old the patient is when it comes to visits of a sexual nature.

Now, to answer your question... You will have to sit down and talk to her about your concerns. Let her know that if she is you will still love her and help her through a healthy pregnancy.

It wasn't stated whether she was sexually active, I was assuming that since her mother thinks she is pregnant she KNOWS that she is sexually active.

And you should tell my mother that, because all of my tests results were divulged to her until I was 18, and I signed nothing.

These are newer laws hun. It's called HIPAA. It is the doctor/patient privilege.

I know what HIPPA is, I'm in the medical field as well. That doesn't mean that it is always followed.

I know what HIPPA is, I'm in the medical field as well. That doesn't mean that it is always followed.

Actually, it is HIPAA

AND, we are not here to argue the fact, just to help the OP.

So, back to the OP. Why do you suspect she is pregnant? What symptoms is she presenting with?

Actually, it is HIPAA

AND, we are not here to argue the fact, just to help the OP.

So, back to the OP. Why do you suspect she is pregnant? What symptoms is she presenting with?
And yes, back to the OP. That's a good start, what are the symptoms that lead you to believe that she may be pregnant? Has she told you that she is sexually active? Does she have a regular boyfriend?

I'm a teenage mother & I found it hard to tell my mum as I worried about what she was going to say. I told her after a few days of finding out once I'd let it sink in & decided on what to say to her. I'm sure your daughter will tell you but it might take her a little while until she feels the time is right to tell you.

Yes she has a regular boyfriend. They been going out for along time. She has not stay home a lot. She looks bigger to me. She sleeps more. I know she has had sex. I know they have had sex.

I was the same as your daughter. I stayed away from home for a while worried that my mum would notice & go crazy at me. Eventually after a couple of weeks I went home & decided there was no way I could hide it from my mum any longer. I found it very hard to tell my mum. Has your daughter been able to talk to you about absolutely anything in the past? If she has I'm sure she'll tell you in time.

And have you tried talking to her?

Just talk to her, tell her your concerns. Don't be mad at her.

I had a friend who worked at the same place as me.. She told NO ONE that she was pregnant till she was due a week before... then she told her parents. Everyone thought she was pregnant... the way she walked.. and how she was bigger. But no one said anything cause she was a teen. Her parents excepted it.. I mean she was due in a week.

I just can't imagine holding in that HUGE life changing fact... and telling no one..

Sit her down, tell her you know she is having sex. And you would like her to go on birth control if she isn't pregnant..
Tell her you would rather she not hide things from you. That you are an adult and would like to be there for her no matter what.

I hid things from my mom.. like 2 years ago.. I was raped. And I didn't want her to think it was her fault. I didn't come home at curfew and she told me that I wasent allowed to come home till morning. I said, fine! I would stay in my car. Well, the boy I had just met offered me his house to stay the night at.. well.. he raped me. It wasent her fault.. it was mine for staying out past curfew... After my life was a huge struggle and my mom was at wits ends why I was acting out.. she talked to my aunt who I told what happen. My aunt said she needed to talk to me..

Mom called me on my way home from cosmetology school.. she was crying.. and scared.. I could hear her voice shaking, "Tell me whats wrong.... whats going on? Why wont you tell me? " Then I told her.. as I cried my eyes out..
I felt so much better that she knew.. that I could talk to her.

I guess moral of the story.. Let her know your there for her.. that she can count on you.

Have you ever talked to her about sex once you suspected she was doing it?

Yes I try talking to her about it but she said she was not ready and I think it is time too. I have one kid he is a year younger and I think he know every thing and I have one that is old. Do you think I should talk to all my kids about haven sex? I think they all have been there and done it. I think I need to talk to them before it happens to all of them. I think she thinks I am going to be mad at her but I not. We all are going to love them all no matter what happens.

Yes, its never too early to talk about sex. They actually start sex education in elementary.. round 4th grade for me.

Just give them correct information. And answer their questions.. It might be a little hard, but sex is apart of every normal adult life... so even if they don't use this information young.. (hopefully) but they will use it later.

YES, definitely talk to her about sex. Obviously she is ready for the talk, since she is doing it.

Yes, otherwise they get the wrong information from all their friends. I know I was always curious about sex as a teen and heard so much stuff and all my friends was doing it. It got to where I used to make up stories about doing it when I was a virgin. This is a talk all parents need to have with their child.My 10 year old daughter ask what sex was because my neighbor son ask her if she wants to have sex, he's 8. Can you believe that? I was furious. Having this talk might be a little uncomfortable because you don't want to think of your child doing it but it's best for them to know the right information instead of the wrong and all the things that can happen along with it and the truth about it. I know one I used to hear was "if your on top you won't get pregnant", we all know that untrue but as a teen hearing it from my friend, I believe her.

I started talking to my children about sex around the age of 4. Yeah, I know it sounds young, but I am 44 and not a grandmother YET. LOL, that'll be in December, but my son is 22 and his wife is 20.

You should not leave the sex education to the schools, or their peers. You never know the misinformation the will receive. Sex education should be up to the parents.

How old is your daughter? Sleeping a lot and gaining weight can be symptoms of just being a teenager or even depression or anxiety.

I know all my kids have had sex. They are almost the same age. The both boys have girl friends and the girl has a boy friend. I have 2 teenager boys and 1 teenager girl. I am going to sit down with her and talk about this. Then I will sit down with all to make it not happen again.

Again, what is her age? 13 is a teenager, you know, LOL.

Have you never had the birds and the bees talk with her?

That's a good point, what exactly is her age?

And she said that she hasn't had the birds and the bess talk, but is planning to.

The OP said she has tried and will have a talk with her, I guess again.

I think it's time to talk to all your kids - and not just about loving them no matter what, but about the dangers of unprotected sex and the risks they are taking.

In my opinion, you are taking a big risk with their health and lives if you don't start talking about important things in their lives. What on earth do you talk about when you talk with them, or are they always out and about??

It's far better to be safe than sorry, so start taking your responsibility as a parent serious, please.

Sorry if I am a little harsh here, but you wouldn't be in this predicament if you'd have thought about this a long time ago.

Good luck, I hope it all works out well for all of you.
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I have two boys. One is 16 and the other is 18. My girl is 17. I never had the birds and the bees talk with them. They are never home and with there girlfriends or boyfriends. I think there health is at rick if it is not all ready. I let them stay at there boyfriends and girlfriend house over night and I think it might be wrong. I am a good mom when they need me I am there but I never thought I would have to do this with me.

Yes, you need to sit them down and talk to them. And from the sounds of things you need to spend more time with them.

How long has she been having a boyfriend? Do she spend the night at his house? Does she have a curfew, but most importantly does she follow it?

I used to work at an abortion clinic and your be surprise of the diseases and abortions some had under the age of 16. It's always best for you to have a talk with them.

Yes I try talking to her about it but she said she was not ready and I think it is time too. I think she thinks I am going to be mad at her but I not. we all are going to love them all no matter what happens.


From this post I thought you have tried talking to her about sex. I guess I read it wrong.

I have two boys. One is 16 and the other is 18. My girl is 17. I never had the birds and the bees talk with them. They are never home and with there girlfriends or boyfriends. I think there health is at rick if it is not all ready. I let them stay at there boyfriends and girlfriend house over night and I think it might be wrong. I am a good mom when they need me I am there but I never thought I would have to do this with me.

OK, this is a joke, right?? Sorry, but I'm NOT laughing! Where have YOU been all their lives??

I'm out of here...

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We all hang out on the weekends and go out do stuff. She has this boyfriend for about all most 4 years. She spends night at his house a lot. We need try to stop it but I think it is to late and it feels all my fault.

No this is not a joke. I have been with them but it is hard to do this buy yourself and work.

Millions of other people do it.

I think part of what Chery meant was "I'm a good mother when they need me".

Because they go out and then they never come home. Then when I do tell them to come home and stay they go out when I am sleeping or don't come home from school.

You are making excuses for not parenting. You need to know where your children are 24/7.

No this is not a joke. I have been with them but it is hard to do this buy your self and work.

Just for the plain fact that you wound up being a single and working mother, you should have educated and prevented the risk of your daughter winding up having the same hard life as you probably had trying to do the best.
I was also a single working mom after my divorce, but my child was with me at home in the evenings and on weekends - just as millions of other single mothers.

Do what you can to correct this while you still can before it's too late.

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I am going to talk to them all I kind of talk to my girl and I know what is going on know. Then there father is going to have to start spending more time with them. I know

Because they go out and then they never come home. Then when I do tell them to come home and stay they go out when I am sleeping or dont come home from school.

If you lost control you should consider social service assistance... get help and don't be too proud to admit a few mistakes and help your kids.

Yes, that's a start. Also, make rules and enforce them. They should not be spending the night out without permission. Also, talk to them about drugs and alcohol, because you never know.

Edit* I meant never should they be allow to spend the night at their boyfriend/girlfriend house that's trouble and if they stay at a friend house you should have their number to confirm with the parent. Especially your 16 and 17 year old.

Yes I made a few mistakes. Well I know this is going to sound bad but I think it is too late for the my girl but still going to try. I am going to try hard with my boys because this is not going to go on no more.

It's never too late to be a good parent. Just because she might be pregnant, it doesn't mean that it's too late to be her mom, and care, and show that you care.

Ya I know that not to be mean I just say about sleeping with him because I kind of know she is have his bady now. I am going to care about her and show her I care. I think if I need to I think I need to take time off work to spend with my kids and get out. I think there father need to be here and help out. We are not a couple no more but we been working on that and it is kind of getting better.

So, now you are saying that you KNOW that she is pregnant?

Yes because I talk to her. After I talk to you guys that I don't know she walk in and I said we need to talk and she said OK. Then she start talking. Now I know what I need to do I need to take control of this all.

How old is the boyfriend?

The boy is 19 and she said he was 18.

I could be wrong but from reading some of your other posts you don't seem like an adult with 3 teenagers. Are you using someone else user name? Just curious but I could be wrong but some things you wrote in your other posts seems like it was written by someone young.

Yes my friend used it because she wanted to see what others would do and then she like it so she got one too. I have not really used it that much but she has and sorry for that. Yes I am a mother with 3 teenagers and a boyfriend or whatever you want to call him. We just been having our ups and downs.

yes my friend used it because she wanted to see what others would do and then she like it so she got one too. I have not really used it that much but she has and sorry for that. Yes I am a mother with 3 teenagers and a boyfriend or whatever you want to call him. We just been having our ups and downs.

You really shouldn't let other people use your username. They can easily get their own.

Well I did not know. That was like a one time thing. What do you want me to do about that

You can get your own user name.

Yes I know that

Please do not use the same screen name that someone else is using, it confuses everyone here. Sometimes we look back at other post's by that person to get additional information that might not have been divulged in this particular post. So I would highly suggest you getting your own screen name. I'm not sure, but it might be against the rules to share screen names.

So, on the other hand; your daughter IS pregnant. Support her. Take her to her doctor's appointments. Give her advice from a mother's perspectve. But do NOT be this new baby's mother. Make her take responsibility for her actions. Make her stay in school... When she is done with school, make her fill out college apps, and work through the summer. She is acting like an adult, she needs to know how to behave like one, and have responsibilities like one as well.

As far as the other kids, don't think that you are done parenting. Make sure that the other children know that this behavior is not acceptable. Make sure that they know THIS is the consequence for their actions(sex)...

There are other options for your daughter, abortion and adoption are other options other than the obvious raising the child on her own.

Is there a planned parenthood in your area? Do you have a family doctor that can help.

If abortion is an option for your daughter than this needs to be done asap.

Good luck.

First step is to take her to a doctor, and find out how far along she is. Abortions should only be done to a certain point.

If Adoption is an option, You need to start searching for acceptable parents to adopt the child to.

If they are keeping the child, then both of these children need to be taking parenting classes.

This is my same screen but someone used it and I should have never let them use it sorry about that. They are keeping the baby and I am going to talk to them about what they are going to have to do and what they need to take to be ready for this.

To the real amy321... please get your 'friend' to register as a new member as soon as possible.
This seems to me like a pattern of her entire life. It's obvious to me that she used being a working single mother as an excuse to let things slide as far as her responsibility as a parent are concerned. Then, slowly, she indicated that there is a father in the picture... where was he?? She stated that they are working on it... apparently only the physical and partnership part, but certainly not the 'parent' part. So, she's hiding behind one excuse after another, even hiding behind another person's username, instead of taking on the responsibility for herself and facing up to life and start to make some MAJOR corrections.

This is JUST MY OPINION, and not the site's, but I feel that the kids should be taken from her and given a chance to see what real family life is like. Her daughter needs to have guidance from someone more responsible than her - even if it is a shelter for unwed mothers - at least she'll learn a lot more than she ever did at home.

When you have a child, your are either a parent right from the get-go, or you are not, and she has not been one for a long time. If she thinks that feeding and clothing and providing a place to sleep now and then (when not sleeping around somewhere else) is enough to be a parent, she has failed - and this is not something one can change overnight. At their age, it's too late anyway, they already have a picture of her standards - and it's time for them to get a different view of life than what she has offered so far.

To amy321's 'friend'... wake up, see a therapist, and stop hiding from real life. You need to help yourself before you can even begin to try to 'help' your kids now.

Sorry about this, but they deserve something better in life, if it's not too late, and you need help. Maybe you did not get the guidance and nurturing as a child yourself, but that's another subject and you should not deny your kids a chance to see things from another perspective.
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This is the really amy that is having the kids trouble.

I'm a teen and if I was pregnant I would try and hide it.;)
Look for these signs:
1.Diffrance in acts and behavior/guilt
2.sneaky
3.less talkative torwards you
4.wont look at you when she's talking anymore

If you don't see any of that or if you do... just confront her about it? Mabey she's to scared to tell you and comfronting her mite make it easier... trust me I know... my sister did the same thing.:(

Her daughter already told her she was pregnant. To the op there is many programs that help teens. They even have mother and daughter school. She be eligible for teen cap if she don't have health insurance and after the child is born their both will be covered and as always their wic and parenting class. Your should start looking into these programs asap.

Best thing to do is sit down and have an open conversation and not a harsh one either. You were pregnant once let her know you know what she is going through and want to help her. If she denies anything keep her confidence up and let her know you will be there for her when she is ready to talk. Support is always the best thing for this type of situation. I can also recommend a web site www.cafemoms.com it is a great site for all moms.

Amy daughter already confess she was pregnant and that's no longer a issue.