Please I need a reply for my problem , but plzzzzzzzz don't type an answer that is talking about ethics, morality & consequences of infedility.. I just need to know does he really love me & how to win him back.. We were work colleagues since 2002 I was single & he was married couple of months when we firstly met , we started as friends & were flirthing together , we had great chimestry.. then I got engaged to another work colleague.. he was upset but he didn't say it out loud he just began to avoid talking with me or making eye contact.. he took 20 days off from work & went on a trip to US & when he came back it seemed that we both couldn't hold our feelings as we missed each other so we kissed passionately in the work place!. I responded to his kiss for a while but then pushed him & said it was wrong we shouldn't as I am engaged & he's married... I don't know how it was happenening but since then we were kissing & hugging in workplace as we weren't able to c each other ouside work... I married in dec2003 when I came back from honey moon he was giving me the cold shoulder again & refusing to chat with me as we used since we are best friends.. then I went to him & told him why is he treatingme like this we are friend, he told me you are married & I am trying to resist you then we looked 2 each other passionately & it started allover again.. the kissing & hugging.. he asked me once are you happier when you are with me or yr husband?? - note we only were kissing & hugging - I told him I am happier with u, I asked him the same & he answered I am happier with u & I feel it's affecting my relation with my wife --- note that he doesn't love his wife & his family pushed him to marry her because she is sooooo rich , her father is a multi multi multi millionnaire -- lately in the mid of 2004 he left the work.. he told me you are the reason because I can't resist u & I don't want to cheat because it is not allowed by our religion the next week until he left he kept on kissing & hugging me so passionately as he never did, I felt it though he never told me I felt the love... when he left I got dpressed & my hormones go upside down causing me health problems, he stopped calling he only did once on my birthday & other toask meif every thingis all right with my husband& when we met he gave me the cold shoulder... I got pregnant in the beginning of 2006 then I know he was going toa place we wentthere once when he left the work & that he is hanging their gadually with someof our mutual friends.. so I started going there with my gfs when I was pregnant, he seemed happy to c me... when I gavebirth I disappeared for a total 4 months where I made a whole makeover with my hair I lost all birth weight, then I went there to our place , he was sitting alone this day.. when he saw me he was shocked , he kept on looking at me then he said do you know what I miss so much ? It's yr kiss.. I told him I miss him too.. I went to his private office & guess what we only kissed & he pushed me because he said he don't want to cheat.. I went to give him his birthday present 3 moths later & we kissed again & he pushed my clothes then he stopped saying we shouldn't do this & we should be together alone again... 2 months later he told me he wants me to do him massage therapy which I can do excellently, when I was massaging him he pushed me on the bed & kissed me wildely then pushed my head to do him a blow job.. since mid 2007 till now we only met 6 times each time when we finish he says this should be the last time because this is wrong if you can don't come to our restaurant where we meet because I become weak when I c u.. but after a while he tells me he misses me & wants me to come to his office but always he refused to make an intercourse because it's prohibited to do it except with yr spouse - according to our religion or he get a punishement from the Lord - so what we are doing is only oral pleasure & foreplay for each other -- but now when I told him I missed him since we didn't meet since 3 months he told me I told you that it was the last time & I don't want to do this again I am afrain of Lord punishment.. don't open this discussion again, I told him OK no problem, I looked cold because I didn't want him 2 c me week but I have burning fire inside.. is there a way that I can get him into me again.. knowing that he still go to our place & wants to be beside me.. I am ignoring him but he is keeping his secret looking at me , he feels jealouswhen I flirt with other friends... I want him to want me again... answer the question from the emotional side & don't interfer in infedility matter I know each of us has his family & children but I love him sooo much I want to know doea he love me? Is there a chance that I can make him want to physically with me? What should I do to seduce him??
Thanks a lot

I believe most of the replies that you get in regards to your question/advice would be about morals, ethics and infidelity. If you were an unmarried woman and he was an unmarried man then I think members here will be more opt to give advice about love and relationships. BUT since the members have seen numerous (if not 100s) of posts regarding 'married woman falls in love with married man' or 'I want to leave my husband for a married man' or 'how do I tell my wife I cheated on her?' then I don't think they are going to tell you what you want to hear only because it's not MORALLY right. Just my opinion.

In most infidelity cases, men NEVER leave their current wives.

FYI-Oral 'pleasure' aka oral sex is considered a sexual play and I'm sure what ever your married man's religion may be, that is against that when being unfaithful.

This forum is about helping people develop healthy, happy relationships. Helping you seduce a married man is counter to everything we are about.

Yes, there are moral issues. I won't recite them because you said you don't care.

Yes, there are health issues, but again, you don't care.

Yes, there appear to be religious overtones, but neither one of you really cares that much about that either since kissing and groping and blow jobs and sex are all the same thing in the fidelity department. I'm just saying, that boat sailed... and again, you don't care.

So, how can you help a married man be interested in you regardless of how it affects the rest of the world? I can tell you this - I couldn't begin suggest anything so horrible.

And since you don't care, I'll have to care for you and say a prayer for all the people you're pushing off the cliff and they don't even know it.

May the universe so richly deliver the life you deserve.

please have some mercy.. I know I am wrong but I really loved him before I got married,, he did though he never told me... he is always saying we have no right to talk about love as both of us are committed, he is always resisting me & resisting our mutual feelings but it shows up in moments where we miss each other & can't hide it.. he refuses the intercourse because it's the major sin but he also know foreplay is a sin & that's why he told me he wants to stop anything we do.. . I am not a non caring person as u say.. I am just in love,, I don't need the blow jobs or orals nooooooo I just want the emotional side where he shows he cares.. but he told me last week let's be only friends! Because he is enjoying my company along with our mutual friends & he doesn't want to lose me... I believe we can't be only friends & if he wants to end it up then why is he coming to our meeting place & sit with me for chit chats?? Doesn't he understand that being with each other - even with our mutual friends - 3 or 4 times per week for 2 hours talking with each other can make us weak again? Or at least I am talking about myself.. I feel butterflies in my stomach & my heart skips a beat when I c him coming to sit with me... I really love him , I swear it's not about sex.. it's about feelings & I am in a real dilemma... thank u in advance for not accusing me of immorality..

The only reason I'm not accusing you of immorality is because you already admit it and everything you say goes basically:

"I know it's wrong, I know it's sinful, I know we're both married, but since I 'feel' something anyway I'm going to ignore all the wrongs and pursue it anyway. Please help me pursue it anyway."

Well, I feel that I should get to have that diamond ring without paying for it. I feel that, so it's OK for me to take it? To solicit others to help me take what is not mine to have simply because I want it? Of course not. And you know that.

I appreciate how exciting all the "resist-resist-ohmygod-kiss-kiss-blowjob" drama actually is to a person. But that's the same adrenaline rush criminals get when they give in to their particular vice. It's a total rush. You're addicted to the rush.

You don't need mercy, you don't want speeches about 'morality', but I'll still simply point out that you are stealing what is not yours. Just because you feel it doesn't mean you 'deserve' it... and when you take it anyway that makes you a thief.

We're not going to actually help you steal from others.

Do you honestly think he is going to leave his wife? Do you think it's right what your doing to your husband? There is so many people getting hurt out of this? Talk to a counselor, get some help, but stay the heck away from a man that's married, its going to come back to bite you...

We're not going to actually help you steal from others.
^this

Think about your family and if you have kids what that will do to them as they are just by standers to this

What will this do to your husband who pledged his life to you

How about the woman that the man pledged his life to

Their kids if they have any

Your workplace and colleagues as this is a work relationship

I could go on and on but if those don't make you realize that your selfish actions are going to hurt a lot more than just your feelings I don't know what can

I am not giving you a moral lesson or anything but just trying to make you realize how many people will not only be affected by your decision but hurt by it

He has apparently already made his decision by sticking with his wife so your decision has been pretty much made by him already.

You want to know if he loves you
So what if he does what is it going to accomplish when he already said
He told me you are the reason because I can't resist u & I don't want to cheat because it is not allowed by our religion the next week he left... clearly he does not WANT you over what he has whether it has to do with love or being committed to his wife he choose being married to his wife over that so you have to accept and respect that.

It seems like he sees you as a box of tempting chocolates that he can't resist so he did something about it instead of giving in.

So the emotional side is LEAVE the poor man alone like he has been begging you to!!

You are sounding like a teenager rather than a grown married woman with a child.
No matter what you feel or think you feel, you are married with a young child, and this man appears to be begging you to leave him alone.
GROW UP!

Grow up and stop pretending like you love anyone. In fact, you don't even love yourself. Seriously, marriage is about commitment, love, care, loyalty, honesty, integrity etc.

1. The fact that you're kissing & hugging & probably effing shows you are irresponsible for your actions. You have a child now; you have a husband. What else do you need?

2. The fact that he's using the "my parents wanted me to marry this rich girl" excuse is nonsense. Anyone can be as poor as the beggars in US, but it takes a lot of effort to climb through a pile of sh*t and earn owns expense. If marriages were based because of money, I'm pretty sure the world will fall into a higher level of problems.

3. The fact that he's saying "the Lord will punish me" crap is nonsense as well. Yeh, he's fuqing you even though he has a family and you're fuqing him when you have a family. That's cheating (adultery) regardless of intercourse or not; oral sex & mutual masturbation = sex because it's stimulating the genitalias.

4. Grow up. Confess to your family. Go make your own living and stop leeching off your husband who works probably five days a week from eight to five. Stop meeting with this douche and you'll understand the true meaning of working hard and being responsible.

This is coming from a 19 year old.

The only reason I'm not accusing you of immorality is because you already admit it and everything you say goes basically:

"I know it's wrong, I know it's sinful, I know we're both married, but since I 'feel' something anyway I'm going to ignore all the wrongs and pursue it anyway. Please help me pursue it anyway."

Well, I feel that I should get to have that diamond ring without paying for it. I feel that, so it's ok for me to take it? To solicit others to help me take what is not mine to have simply because I want it? Of course not. And you know that.

I appreciate how exciting all the "resist-resist-ohmygod-kiss-kiss-blowjob" drama actually is to a person. But that's the same adrenaline rush criminals get when they give in to their particular vice. It's a total rush. You're addicted to the rush.

You don't need mercy, you don't want speeches about 'morality', but I'll still simply point out that you are stealing what is not yours. Just because you feel it doesn't mean you 'deserve' it...and when you take it anyway that makes you a thief.

We're not going to actually help you steal from others.

Maybe the OP wants us to pity her problem? It's a bad situation.

I just need to know does he really love me & how to win him back

Can a moderator please move this to the psychics/ psycho forum.

Since you don't want advice but a prediction, your in the wrong place, but as a giver of advice, get some counseling before your husband, and your lover dumps you.

Plzzzzzzz Ladies & Gentlemen , Don't Be Sp Cruel With Me, He Really Doesn't Love His Wife & The Marriage Was To Climb A Higher Social Ladder, I Loved Him Even B4 I Got Married... I Don't Want To Make Sins, But I Am Emotionally Attachedwith Him... & If He Is Begging That He Doesn't Want To Make Sins & Doesn't Want To Do Kissing.. huging.. Bla Bla, Then Why Is He Damn Coming To Our Social Gathering Restaurant Each Day?? Why Does He Wan To Be Near Me & Just Chat In Any Silly Subject For A Damn 2 Hours Daily? Does This Make Any Sense ? Does He Want To Make Me Suffer By Seeing Him ?

Plzzzzzzz Ladies & Gentlemen , Don't Be Sp Cruel With Me ,, He Really Doesn't Love His Wife & The Marraige Was To Climb A Higher Social Ladder ,, I Loved Him Even B4 I Got Married .... I Dont Want To Make Sins ,, But I Am Emotionally Attachedwith Him ... & If He Is Begging That He Doesnt Want To Make Sins & Doesnt Want To Do Kissing ..huging.. Bla Bla ,, Then Why Is He Damn Coming To Our Social Gathering Restaurant Each Day ??? Why Does He Wan To Be Near Me & Just Chat In Any Silly Subject For A Damn 2 Hours Daily ?? Does This Make Any Sense ? Does He Want To Make Me Suffer By Seeing Him ?


Hello?
YOU HAVE THE OPTION TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM.
Seriously, you're 30+ years old and still act like a child. Do you really need to be taught that cheating and lying are wrong? Do you need to be taught that honesty is a policy that saves you?

Also, stop making excuses that he dislikes his family. That's just bullsh*t. If he disliked the family so much, he would've gotten the BALLS (which he doesn't) to say "hey, I'm a grown man.. I'll choose who I want to be with." But no... he takes the wuss route and screws with you when he has a family; you screw back even though you have a child.

This meeting/social gathering is not the obstacle. You yourself am the obstacle. How to overcome that obstacle? Get your head out of the sand, start ignoring the man (if he comes to you, get your ovaries together and tell him to go fuq off), tell your husband that you deserve a divorce and repay EVERYTHING HE HAS SPENT ON YOU.

That's what YOU need to do.

Easy problem but you just had to pull excuses.. that's one thing I hate... excuses

Just like my ex... couldn't be straight forward with me and leaves me a week prior to Univ. of California final examination period.

If he really loved you, he'd end his marriage and be with you exclusively. The money his wife's family has would not matter to him. Don't seduce him or even try. You may still have feelings, but try to distance yourself and move on. The longer this goes on, the more miserable you will be. Don't chase something you can not catch. You're better off without him.

1- I didn't say he hates his family because he has 3 kids & he loves then much , I only said his wife because she is really ugly but I look dazzling like movie stars , I look like shakira ( body & face )
2- I am 27 , he is 33 , his wife is 33
3- I don't think he'd come to tell me he wants me because he has this overly ego, he can't be saying "it's sinful , i wont make this again" & then come back to ask me!
4- I am working as my husband & I spend my salary on family needs as him , so even if we separated he didn't spend money on me to return it
5- I am making no execuses I am really in a bad situation plzzzzzzzzzzzz listen to the pain & c the bleeding words.. I am really in love , I don't say that I am right ,I know this is sinful but is the truth... I tried to forget the love of my life for damn 7 years but I just can't... plzzzzzz help we shared lots of intimate , friendship , teamwork , funny , emotional moments where both of us felt the love flames but can't talk about the forbidden love... how can I overcome all this , though I am seeing him nearly daily with our mutual friends after he decided to end the sexual playing we were doing only once each 3 or 4 month!?

If he really loved you, he'd end his marriage and be with you exclusively. The money his wife's family has would not matter to him. Don't seduce him or even try. You may still have feelings, but try to distance yourself and move on. The longer this goes on, the more miserable you will be. Don't chase something you can not catch. You're better off without him.


He can't end marriage he has kids, his wife will inherent large amounts of money! His life is settled, mine tooi have a husband and a lovely baby boy,, so neither can leave his family

He decided to end this sinful emotional relnship 1 week ago , but hestill come to our social gathering & chat with me as friends... this makes me suffer as when I look to his face I remember all of our intimacy , doesn't he feel the same ? If he wants to forget me then why is he coming to c me? Can we really be only friends & c each other daily only for chats?? Can this happen?


Thank you for answering

1- i didnt say he hates his family because he has 3 kids & he loves then much , i only said his wife because she is really ugly but i look dazzling like movie stars , i look like shakira ( body & face )
2- i am 27 , he is 33 , his wife is 33
3- i dont think he'd come to tell me he wants me because he has this overly ego ,, he can't be saying "it's sinful , i wont make this again" & then come back to ask me !!
4- i am working as my husband & i spend my salary on family needs as him , so even if we separated he didnt spend money on me to return it
5- i am making no execuses i am really in a bad situation plzzzzzzzzzzzz listen to the pain & c the bleeding words ..i am really in love , i dont say that i am right ,i know this is sinful but is the truth .... i tried to forget the love of my life for damn 7 years but i just can't ...........plzzzzzz help we shared lots of intimate , friendship , teamwork , funny , emotional moments where both of us felt the love flames but can't talk about the forbidden love ......how can i overcome all this , though i am seeing him nearly daily with our mutual friends after he decided to end the sexual playing we were doing only once each 3 or 4 month !!!!!!??????


1. Three kids & screwing you? Is he on crack or is he stupid? He does not love his wife, yet he sticks his pencil into her pencil sharpener? That clearly does not make sense at all; if he dislikes her so much, why does he still have kids with her?

2. Regardless of the age, you are childish and immature... so is your "lover"

3. Distance yourself. Like I said before.

4. Don't think because you and him work, you 2 do not benefit from each other. What about the bills when YOU were pregnant? You couldn't get your butt out of bed from the hospital to drive to work.

5. You make the situation seem bad but you're the one at fault here. Grow the fuq up, get your head out of the sand, and start using the brain. When did adults become so stupid? Even teenagers know that cheating on one partner is wrong... You're not in love.. clearly, you don't love yourself~ that's the point. You got no ovaries to be the one to say "hey, fuq off... We both like each other, but it's best if we just remain workers." Instead, you respond "let's go to the back & fuq.."

No one is going to pity you. I can't wait when CHEATERS come in and bust you two.

He can't end marraige he has kids , ,his wife wil inherent large amounts of money !! his life is settled ,, mine tooi have a husband and a lovely baby boy ,,, so neither can leave his family

he decided to end this sinful emotional relnship 1 week ago , but hestill come to our social gathering & chat with me as friends ... this makes me suffer as when i look to his face i remeber all of our intimacy , doesnt he feel the same ? if he wants to forget me then why is he coming to c me ?? can we really b only friends & c eachother daily only for chats ??? can this happen ??


thank u for answering

I sense a gold-digger. Yep, just like the majority of the population... does not want to work for money; always looking for the short-cuts. There are no short-cuts in life...

I sense a gold-digger. Yep, just like the majority of the population... does not want to work for money; always looking for the short-cuts. There are no short-cuts in life...


Yes he is like you said , & he is having 3 kids not because. He loved her , but because. His wife's father ordered them to have kids & he will pay all the bills of giving birth , children's schools & everything!! So her father told them you have no excuse not to have many kids as you will spend nothing , I am the 1 who will spend!! He can't be in love with her as she is fat & ugly & from the 1st place he didn't marry her for love..

Tell me what can I do when we meet in our social gathering? I can't stop coming because we have mutual friends & I won't b able to give explanation on why I quit hanging out with them!! I suffer when I c him , he told me 1 week before that he'd stop doing the foreplay stuff we were doing, doesn't he suffer when he sees me in front of him??

You want to know if he loves you
So what if he does what is it going to accomplish when he already said
he told me u r the reason because i can't resist u & i don't want to cheat because it is not allowed by our religion the next week he left....clearly he does not WANT you over what he has whether it has to do with love or being committed to his wife he choose being married to his wife over that so you have to accept and respect that.

It seems like he sees you as a box of tempting chocolates that he can't resist so he did something about it instead of giving in.

So the emotional side is LEAVE the poor man alone like he has been begging you to!!!


thank u for reply , but I want to tell u he left work , but he called me once each 2 or 3 months for a whole year , then we met & he came back to me , confessed he missed me much then give me the cold shoulder.. then he missed me & became passionate.. then begin the resisance period again... & that's how he acts with me : resistance & cold feelings for a while then inability to resist , making sin then feeling sorry & cold period again.. till he told me last week he doesn't want us to do this again & let's be only friends who chat & meet together but I suffer from seeing him in front of me , doesn't he?

It doesn't matter what he feels

Grow a backbone and stop seeing him as this is only increasing your suffering. Hell tell your husband you want to move away if you have to a different city as that will force you to not see him or talk to him.

You aren't seeing the big picture HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY. Reread your own passage, he does something then he feels guilty because hmm let me think he loves somebody else and feels he is cheating on her.

Stop making excuses and stop talking to him now tell him he can't come around any more hell if you need to get a restraining order as this will ease the feelings you have for him in time its going to suck yes but guess what honey you have a family who takes priority over your needs.

So either grow up and get some help or keep yourself miserable.

It is your choice.

thank u for reply , but i want to tell u he left work , but he called me once each 2 or 3 months for a whole year , then we met & he came back to me , confessed he missed me much then give me the cold shoulder .. then he missed me & became passionate ..then begin the resisance period again ...& that's how he acts with me : resistance & cold feelings for a while then inability to resist , making sin then feeling sorry & cold period again .. till he told me last week he doesnt want us to do this again & let's be only friends who chat & meet together but i suffer from seeing him infront of me , doesnt he ??

I resist chocolate too but every now and then I get a taste for it again and then I end up giving it away to resist temptation.
You suffer from seeing him in front of you---you know where it is ALWAYS going to go SO YOU take the first step and quite.
Doesn't he? Yeah so that is why he avoids you


YOU ARE AN AT HIS CONVENIENCE THING

You are deluded, and should seek help to end this dependence on another human. Even emotional junkies can get help if they want to be normal.

Sounds like he knows what he needs to do and tries to do it. You keep hanging on the something that does not belong to you.
It really does not matter what he feels, he is going to do what he needs to do for himself. You need to grow up and wise up. You have a husband and a child. Put as much energy into your marriage as you have in trying to see this man. When you see him at these functions, don't chat with him, avoid him. He will soon get the message and avoid you.
Why did you marry someone else if you were so hooked on him? You both made stupid and selfish choices so now you must own them. Be the best wife and mother you can be. Get some counseling to help you deal with these juvenile feelings you are having. Start putting some effort into your marriage, go on dates with your husband. You may find a really good person in him.
The road to this other guy leads to nowhere but heartache, it's time to grow up and get off it.
I wish you well.

yes he is like u said , & he is having 3 kids not bec. he loved her , but bec. his wife's father ordered them to have kids & he will pay all the bills of giving birth , children's schools & everything !!! so her father told them u have no excuse not to have many kids as u will spend nothing , iam the 1 who will spend !!!!!!!!! he can't be in love with her as she is fat & ugly & from the 1st place he didnt marry her for love ..

tell me what can i do when we meet in our social gathering?? i can't stop coming because we have mutual friends & i won't b able to give explaination on y i quit hanging out with them !!!! i suffer when i c him , he told me 1 week b4 that he'd stop doing the foreplay stuff we were doing ,,doesnt he suffer when he sees me infront of him ???


Easy. Tell him to get the fuq away from you.

Let me tell you one thing it's not difficult to seduce any man in this world, specially married men. If his wife is ugly & he's not happy in his married life that means the ball is in your court, you can get him anytime you want. Try to show your emotions & break him emotionally from him family first. When he'll be in your full control don't loose your grip on him. Try to touch him hard, keep on kissing him & hugging me, Have sex with him. I can advice you this because I did the same with my married lover who's now all mine
Wish you good luck

You need to concentrate on your marriage your family and leave this man alone.

As for the above poster, when you decide to go after something that does not belong to you, you are no better than the cheating man. A man can have a beautiful wife, but want something on the side. If you choose to be a booty call to a married man, that is your business, but to advise someone else on how to do it, especially a married woman with children is just irresponsible IMO

ANUSHKA86

You have no idea. How selfish you are and what a pathetic reply that was.
You tell people how to steal husbands and girlfriends?

You disgust me! There should be a lot less people like you in this world.

As for the OP
I know your not going to listen so I don't know why I'm waisting my time..

You depend on him too much
You have no self worth
You have no respect for other people. Other than your wants and needs you selfish ignorant fool.
And you are emotional weak.

Honestly you will get what is coming to you :)

If you both strongly enjoy pleasure then family go and live to gether. Make new family
Your love will be happy and strong .

Because we all respons so much that why we have the high devorce rate in here.

I have a VERY long story that will shed some light to this topic. I will post it later today but I will give you a hint. Stop it. No one is going to be happy as long as your both married. How can you trust her or him if they are willing to hurt people they claim to love? If they want to be with you, wait till they are single and free of their spouses. Same thing for you too. Do not burn bridges but do the right things that will make you and the other person respect themselves and give you both the proof of trust. Cause that is really what you are looking for.