Before I start, no, I didn't re-re-re-re-re write this.





I find, when I talk, everyone around me is just waiting for their turn, never listening to me, and always butting in.


So I left, and now I feel enclosed in a self perpetuated shell that grows with the inability to shed my philosophies, ideas, concepts, statements, questions and hypotheses about.

My only true "friend" as such.

(I know what such a word does to bound us together)

Is my dictionary, encyclopaedia and those brilliant (fictional) books/stories that portray a perfect life for everything, which are extremely hard to come by at most.



I've never had friends, probably never will, when ever I see something I know, that is it, I only KNOW them, I have never trusted, liked, fell in-love, ignored, despised, illusioned about, nor even simply hated nearly anything.

(even though hating something is a complex matter in itself)

When I look at a supposedly "pretty" "person", I all ways, ALL WAYS keep consciously in mind, that all through them are dying cells, always, it's nearly perpetual,

Death that is.

It's everywhere, even though people only seem to care when it's about someONE they love or hate, it's never about the ant they squashed a few meters back, the dead bird over the corner, and NEVER those completely unprotected plants, like the grass they walk on.

Never.

The people I meet are most likely to walk off a cliff then to know that a zillion other living things did nearly exactly what they are doing, just a few millionths of a mille-second back, all those things, lost in time, and all we care about, no, sorry, all THEY care about is how fat they are, things DIED for what they eat, yet they disrespect EVERYTHING they've ever known, apart from themselves.

Taking the word "themselves" and "they" out of the context of one thing of course,
I mean, from most of which I have seen, the human race as a whole.



That is why I do it, I feel satifaction (for myself) too know I, in someway, have helped something, to be put out of it's misery, like that ant they half killed, I first see if it can survive on it's own, if it can't I try harder, and when everything logically possible in this era of technology has been tried,

I kill it,
Solemnly,
Never violently,
Never with gratitude,

Solemnly.


The only thing is,

I WANT to be like that, but just can't seem to grasp it, when ever I get close, "my" race torments me, tells me to sleep, eat, piss and really completely live in some sort of repetitive context they made up for themselves to live "comfortably",

They don't even know what that word MEANS, and their ancestors bloody MADE IT for an easier way for communication!

Now, to they subject of how to get there.
(the ability to help evertything achieve an actually safe life)

I know how sleep works, I know I need the R.E.M phase to stay alive
(in a sense of consciousness)
But there must be some way, mabye if there was three of me, enable me/us to do time-shifts as such.

We,
Sorry,

I,

Could actually try,

I know age would usually hit me, but I also know about how and why age comes, and it's like everything else, the hayflick limit, damaged dna and rna strands, the telomere,

I know about them and "it".

But no one I have EVER talked to does, they're all to interested in their computers, cars, fashion, rotting politics and pathetic beliefs confined into such a guidelined fashion by religions.

I hate talking to people, it's one of the only things I do hate really,
They have such twisted views, I hate it even more to know it's not their fault,

Not entirely at least.


Hello,
My name wasn't what I thought it was,
So I call myself coogiez.

I read your entire post, and now I feel dizzy!

Sorry, I don't know what to say.

I lost you about a quarter way through...

And I did even try, I hope your future writings will be a little easier to read or I fear you may not be that happy here.

Um, I tried to make it sounds like I don't know charlie browns lement or something depressing like that. Man you have t start trusting people eek, I feel I ittle odd just reading that,
And by the way we are real people not a etity that is inrriging site. Now um you sound smat write a book about you.

Odd,
And you're all junior, senior and ultra members, even a moderator.

I find it hard to think you didn't understand even partial sections of it,
But who am I to judge too harshly.

I do not doubt my ability to write,
Mabye I little oddly yes,
But it's not a maze.

Edit: it seems "sonador101" understood some parts of it.

I can't trust people when I know they are so,
Twistable,
Many people I meet were once athiests,
And only chose their religions to get through hard times,
Like losing a close person or their entire livelyhoods,
But I don't quite understand how once they pushed through their harder times,
They stayed religious,
It's like they just forget who they once were.

Hello, greetings and WELCOME to the site, coogiez! I have debated, actually for a couple of days, as to where your post might be best relocated since the Introductions topic area is only for introductions, and we try to not ask any questions there or post things that might need some sort of discussion or answers of any kind.

I had debated with myself as to whether to place your post in the Mental & Emotional Health area or somewhere else. But, something tells me that you have something deeper that you are trying to express.

So, after rereading your post numerous times, I decided to post it in the Writing topic area, which is an area, in addition to Introductions, that I moderate. Other than the reason that I have stated above, I did this because I think that you are a very articulate person with words with an artistic bent to you, who might comfort in knowing that there are also people like you who are artistically endowed in the writing or other arts who might understand the things that you write. If you would like to further write concerning how you feel about things, please feel free to do so right here.

If you think that what you have to offer would be better placed in another topic area, please let me know.

It's possible that some of the things that you write might be better placed in other topic areas. But, time will tell concerning that...

Thank you!

I have been thinking, about what the other guy said, and I think you are a very creative person, your words are more deep then a person who is merely depressed, there is a deep essence of what you are saying, and I think that is why many people did not understand it, not to offend anybody here, I think you truly have a creative mind. It is the way you place your words, and the words you choose, when I first saw it I saw a person who was the victim of depression but now I see someone who is the victim of a spice of creativity. Please use it, the world deserves to see your amazing talent, I do not know if you enjoy writing or if you have any wish to have your work read, I do not even now if what you roe here was an accident probably not to be replicated, all I can say is that it seems to me that you are a wonderful writer and that you should let the world know of your rare talent.

i have been thinking, about what the other guy said, and i think you are a very creative person, your words are more deep then a person who is merely depressed, there is a deep essence of what you are saying, and i think that is why many people did not understand it, not to offend anybody here, i think you truly have a creative mind. it is the way you place your words, and the words you choose, when i first saw it i saw a person who was the victim of depression but now i see someone who is the victim of a spice of creativity. please use it, the world deserves to see your amazing talent, i do not know if you enjoy writing or if you have any wish to have your work read, i do not even now if what you roe here was an accident probably not to be replicated, all i can say is that it seems to me that you are a wonderful writer and that you should let the world know of your rare talent.

I agree. I thought it was an interesting piece of creative writing.

I do hope that coogiez is able to find this thread now. I tried to make contact to inform that it had been moved, but there doesn't seem to be any way that I can make contact, either by private message or email.

Just to change this subject for a bit, the first thing I said once finished reading was:

"ahh jeez..."

Made me smile at least.

Anyway, for the sake of acknowledgement, clough, thank you for your *insightful approach towards my introduction (if I dare call it that anymore),
I will certianly look out for this creative writing section.

Thing is,
Yes I see the view point that most of you make,
My writings are creative as such,
But, well, no actually,
After reading these comments only once I see the stand point most people read my writing through, illedgable ot creative, and I personally (now) understand why I find this site somewhat intriguing,

It's different, not completely obscure to the point of illegibility,
But *different enough too holster some amazingly, brilliant minds.

I must say this, it kind of feels like I'm on e2, comforting site that,

But I musn't stress on my personal emotion though,
I've seen to many perfectly healthy things get killed and/or injured because of it.


I think I might start a new topic,
This has dragged on long enough.

I do hope that you will return, coogiez! Because, you do sound like quite an interesting person!

Hi coogiez--

You seem to think and feel more deeply than most people. This can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your use of it. I see you trying very hard to make it a blessing, but sorely tempted to feel it as a curse. I'm voting for the blessing. I hope you stay around to share with us.