coogiez
May 23, 2008, 02:58 AM
Before I start, no, I didn't re-re-re-re-re write this.
I find, when I talk, everyone around me is just waiting for their turn, never listening to me, and always butting in.
So I left, and now I feel enclosed in a self perpetuated shell that grows with the inability to shed my philosophies, ideas, concepts, statements, questions and hypotheses about.
My only true "friend" as such.
(I know what such a word does to bound us together)
Is my dictionary, encyclopaedia and those brilliant (fictional) books/stories that portray a perfect life for everything, which are extremely hard to come by at most.
I've never had friends, probably never will, when ever I see something I know, that is it, I only KNOW them, I have never trusted, liked, fell in-love, ignored, despised, illusioned about, nor even simply hated nearly anything.
(even though hating something is a complex matter in itself)
When I look at a supposedly "pretty" "person", I all ways, ALL WAYS keep consciously in mind, that all through them are dying cells, always, it's nearly perpetual,
Death that is.
It's everywhere, even though people only seem to care when it's about someONE they love or hate, it's never about the ant they squashed a few meters back, the dead bird over the corner, and NEVER those completely unprotected plants, like the grass they walk on.
Never.
The people I meet are most likely to walk off a cliff then to know that a zillion other living things did nearly exactly what they are doing, just a few millionths of a mille-second back, all those things, lost in time, and all we care about, no, sorry, all THEY care about is how fat they are, things DIED for what they eat, yet they disrespect EVERYTHING they've ever known, apart from themselves.
Taking the word "themselves" and "they" out of the context of one thing of course,
I mean, from most of which I have seen, the human race as a whole.
That is why I do it, I feel satifaction (for myself) too know I, in someway, have helped something, to be put out of it's misery, like that ant they half killed, I first see if it can survive on it's own, if it can't I try harder, and when everything logically possible in this era of technology has been tried,
I kill it,
Solemnly,
Never violently,
Never with gratitude,
Solemnly.
The only thing is,
I WANT to be like that, but just can't seem to grasp it, when ever I get close, "my" race torments me, tells me to sleep, eat, piss and really completely live in some sort of repetitive context they made up for themselves to live "comfortably",
They don't even know what that word MEANS, and their ancestors bloody MADE IT for an easier way for communication!
Now, to they subject of how to get there.
(the ability to help evertything achieve an actually safe life)
I know how sleep works, I know I need the R.E.M phase to stay alive
(in a sense of consciousness)
But there must be some way, mabye if there was three of me, enable me/us to do time-shifts as such.
We,
Sorry,
I,
Could actually try,
I know age would usually hit me, but I also know about how and why age comes, and it's like everything else, the hayflick limit, damaged dna and rna strands, the telomere,
I know about them and "it".
But no one I have EVER talked to does, they're all to interested in their computers, cars, fashion, rotting politics and pathetic beliefs confined into such a guidelined fashion by religions.
I hate talking to people, it's one of the only things I do hate really,
They have such twisted views, I hate it even more to know it's not their fault,
Not entirely at least.
Hello,
My name wasn't what I thought it was,
So I call myself coogiez.
I find, when I talk, everyone around me is just waiting for their turn, never listening to me, and always butting in.
So I left, and now I feel enclosed in a self perpetuated shell that grows with the inability to shed my philosophies, ideas, concepts, statements, questions and hypotheses about.
My only true "friend" as such.
(I know what such a word does to bound us together)
Is my dictionary, encyclopaedia and those brilliant (fictional) books/stories that portray a perfect life for everything, which are extremely hard to come by at most.
I've never had friends, probably never will, when ever I see something I know, that is it, I only KNOW them, I have never trusted, liked, fell in-love, ignored, despised, illusioned about, nor even simply hated nearly anything.
(even though hating something is a complex matter in itself)
When I look at a supposedly "pretty" "person", I all ways, ALL WAYS keep consciously in mind, that all through them are dying cells, always, it's nearly perpetual,
Death that is.
It's everywhere, even though people only seem to care when it's about someONE they love or hate, it's never about the ant they squashed a few meters back, the dead bird over the corner, and NEVER those completely unprotected plants, like the grass they walk on.
Never.
The people I meet are most likely to walk off a cliff then to know that a zillion other living things did nearly exactly what they are doing, just a few millionths of a mille-second back, all those things, lost in time, and all we care about, no, sorry, all THEY care about is how fat they are, things DIED for what they eat, yet they disrespect EVERYTHING they've ever known, apart from themselves.
Taking the word "themselves" and "they" out of the context of one thing of course,
I mean, from most of which I have seen, the human race as a whole.
That is why I do it, I feel satifaction (for myself) too know I, in someway, have helped something, to be put out of it's misery, like that ant they half killed, I first see if it can survive on it's own, if it can't I try harder, and when everything logically possible in this era of technology has been tried,
I kill it,
Solemnly,
Never violently,
Never with gratitude,
Solemnly.
The only thing is,
I WANT to be like that, but just can't seem to grasp it, when ever I get close, "my" race torments me, tells me to sleep, eat, piss and really completely live in some sort of repetitive context they made up for themselves to live "comfortably",
They don't even know what that word MEANS, and their ancestors bloody MADE IT for an easier way for communication!
Now, to they subject of how to get there.
(the ability to help evertything achieve an actually safe life)
I know how sleep works, I know I need the R.E.M phase to stay alive
(in a sense of consciousness)
But there must be some way, mabye if there was three of me, enable me/us to do time-shifts as such.
We,
Sorry,
I,
Could actually try,
I know age would usually hit me, but I also know about how and why age comes, and it's like everything else, the hayflick limit, damaged dna and rna strands, the telomere,
I know about them and "it".
But no one I have EVER talked to does, they're all to interested in their computers, cars, fashion, rotting politics and pathetic beliefs confined into such a guidelined fashion by religions.
I hate talking to people, it's one of the only things I do hate really,
They have such twisted views, I hate it even more to know it's not their fault,
Not entirely at least.
Hello,
My name wasn't what I thought it was,
So I call myself coogiez.