DEEP THOUGHTS
· I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
· I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
· Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
· I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
· Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
· If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
· Me, getting smart with you?. How would you know?
· My Reality Check bounced.
· On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.
· I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
· You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
· I don't suffer from stress. I'm merely a carrier.
· I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
· There are two rules for ultimate success in life:
1. Never divulge everything you know.
· Tell me what you need, and I'll explain how you can get along without it.
· Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Words of wisdom. In some sort of way

Love the one about turtles stampeding through peanut butter , I'm going to use that :-)

LOL... now I know the facts of life