excello98
Jan 8, 2008, 02:23 AM
Ok, I've been on here before about this. Quick summary - this girl I liked in NY (and had hooked up with) had a boyfriend but didn't tell me about him. When I found out she said she would break up with him but didn't, so I told her we couldn't continue and I did NC. She messaged every now and then but I didn't reply, or replied with very boring answers. She told me she missed me a lot
That was around October/November last year. A week ago I got a message saying she'd broken up with her boyfriend, felt really silly about what she'd done, really missed me, and was coming back to New York. So, we had coffee/went walking around town and things were really cool, it was like old times, and I think she's matured a lot. I let her know I still had feelings for her, and that I wanted to know (honestly!) how she felt about me. She said she 'didn't know', and that we should be friends and see 'what happens' because she isn't ready for another relationship right now (her old boyfriend was pretty central to her friend group I think - I never thought they'd break up).
So, my question is: how do I not screw things up? It's hard not to be over-keen and I know I shouldn't expect anything from this. It's really really really good to have her back as a friend, but I wish we could be more and I do think we could work out. I know there's only like a 0.002% chance of that happening, but in my opinion the odds are stacked against any relationship. Maybe I just need someone to remind me of that, haha. Should I just forget the whole thing and be friends? Or should I wait and let her come to me? Should I try and be semi-romantic and remind her of the good times we had (I know she did have feelings for me once)? It just seems so odd.
Thanks for whatever advice anyone has. Sorry about the long post.
That was around October/November last year. A week ago I got a message saying she'd broken up with her boyfriend, felt really silly about what she'd done, really missed me, and was coming back to New York. So, we had coffee/went walking around town and things were really cool, it was like old times, and I think she's matured a lot. I let her know I still had feelings for her, and that I wanted to know (honestly!) how she felt about me. She said she 'didn't know', and that we should be friends and see 'what happens' because she isn't ready for another relationship right now (her old boyfriend was pretty central to her friend group I think - I never thought they'd break up).
So, my question is: how do I not screw things up? It's hard not to be over-keen and I know I shouldn't expect anything from this. It's really really really good to have her back as a friend, but I wish we could be more and I do think we could work out. I know there's only like a 0.002% chance of that happening, but in my opinion the odds are stacked against any relationship. Maybe I just need someone to remind me of that, haha. Should I just forget the whole thing and be friends? Or should I wait and let her come to me? Should I try and be semi-romantic and remind her of the good times we had (I know she did have feelings for me once)? It just seems so odd.
Thanks for whatever advice anyone has. Sorry about the long post.