Ok, I've been on here before about this. Quick summary - this girl I liked in NY (and had hooked up with) had a boyfriend but didn't tell me about him. When I found out she said she would break up with him but didn't, so I told her we couldn't continue and I did NC. She messaged every now and then but I didn't reply, or replied with very boring answers. She told me she missed me a lot

That was around October/November last year. A week ago I got a message saying she'd broken up with her boyfriend, felt really silly about what she'd done, really missed me, and was coming back to New York. So, we had coffee/went walking around town and things were really cool, it was like old times, and I think she's matured a lot. I let her know I still had feelings for her, and that I wanted to know (honestly!) how she felt about me. She said she 'didn't know', and that we should be friends and see 'what happens' because she isn't ready for another relationship right now (her old boyfriend was pretty central to her friend group I think - I never thought they'd break up).

So, my question is: how do I not screw things up? It's hard not to be over-keen and I know I shouldn't expect anything from this. It's really really really good to have her back as a friend, but I wish we could be more and I do think we could work out. I know there's only like a 0.002% chance of that happening, but in my opinion the odds are stacked against any relationship. Maybe I just need someone to remind me of that, haha. Should I just forget the whole thing and be friends? Or should I wait and let her come to me? Should I try and be semi-romantic and remind her of the good times we had (I know she did have feelings for me once)? It just seems so odd.

Thanks for whatever advice anyone has. Sorry about the long post.

Within a week of her being back, you told her you had feelings for her? Bad move! She just got out a relationship, and she probably doesn't want to deal with that level of feelings at this time. Just keep doing what you were doing before she came along, be aloof and cool and all of that. Take one day at a time and don't show her your feelings yet. Sheesh. Lol.

I agree with mafia angel.. Your whole NC tactic was working like a gem, don't stray from your "bread and butter." Women always want what they can't have. If she calls to hang out one day, say you have plans but you would like to meet... And then just give her another day. Make her wonder, why is he so busy all the time.. But also not so busy to push her away. It's a tough median but can be done. Goodluck

You seem very ready to gloss over a few things as in she had a boyfriend, and lied, and didn't break it off, to be with you. Now she is back talking friend, and maybe she needs one. Can you handle that? Nope, you would rather have a strategy of getting her in a relationship. Sorry dude, move on with your life, and let her figure herself out. Why settle for a rebound, false hope, and a broken heart again? You had a life before she came back, stay with it.

It's almost as if you're begging to be her rebound... and she's the one that's not letting you. Weird. Right now, go on about your own life... let her heal. When she's done healing, if she's interested enough, she'll come sniffing around.

You're probably thinking, "but if i don't get a jump on this, she'll find someone else!" this may be true. That new person also may/may not be a rebound. Either way, you got to let her heal.

I woulndt go for it man. She had a boyfriend and didn't tell you.. that stuff just is not good. What if your with her. And she go off to some other place and finds someone and does not tell them about you. People like that rarely change, she sounds very young as well

In fact she sounds a 100% like someone I knew
Personaly I think she could be the girl your after man :)

Anyway you got to do what's right for you. You sound like a caring guy which is great, don't be the rebound guy and don't be 2nd best

Take it easy :)