For complete background check out this link...
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/g-f-asked-me-space-its-killing-me-113782.html

For those of you not in the mood to read that novel... heres what we know... the ex and I broke up because she was just out of a 5 yr relationship and she "needed space" after 4 months of heavenly bliss with me. She decided NC last Sunday... then she drunk texted me Thursday night, IMd Friday night to apologize, texted Sunday night and IMd Sunday night when I didn't respond... she said she misses me like crazy, is surprised she didn't text me 1000 times last week, and still wants me in her life but just can't do it yet because she can't commit and its not fair to me. Our picture is still up on her fridge, I'm still up on her myspace, etc. (however, she has hidden my toothbrush, deoderant, hair gel, etc.). Well, still nothing changed and here we are 2 days later NO CONTACT. Right. So I'm supposed to give her her space, move on, focus on me, make her miss me, blah blah blah.

ANYWAY here's the thing... im starting law school in 2 weeks. Today during orientation the professor said "IF YOU HAVE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES CLEAR THEM UP NOW!!" which got me thinking... if she comes back to me in mid-september saying she wants to work things out, I'm going to be buried so deep in work that I won't have time for her and it'll never work. So I feel like August 15th (day 1 of school) is zero barrier... if we don't decide to work on it by then, the relationship is history. So here's my question...

Do I make a last ditch effort right now to make this work?. sort of like an ultimatum. Ask her to meet for coffee and explain to her that either, A) we get back together now and work on our issues knowing that I'm about to start school and she's going to get space anyway since I'm going to have a lot less time for her once school starts. Or B) we separate now for good and no contact means no contact because once I start school there's no way I believe we can fix things.

Our problem was that we thought that once we got in so deep (speaking/seeing each other 24/7) that there was no turning back and talking once a week or seeing each other once a week was not a viable option... but it appears that with me going to law school in 2 weeks that that is going to happen anyway.

Or is this a bad approach because it will force her to make a decision she's not ready to make and will allow her to think that she can walk all over me if we do get back together to try to work things out. Obviously she wasn't ready to commit a week ago and she's still not ready to commit... she "needs space" to figure out why she can't commit to me even though I'm perfect (her words). But if we agree to see each other once a week and have some kind of contact, does that help or does it just allow her to coast along having her cake and eating it too (no commitment and seeing me to satisfy that emotional void that left when we stopped talking.) oh the confusion.

Placing any sort of time frame on your relationship's recovery is a bad idea. If she comes to you when you're in school and you don't make time for it, well, then I guess we'll all know where your real priorities are. :)

Looks like she wants you in her life at her convenience, which is not fair to you. Obviously your professor is quite well aware that relationship issues would interfere with anyone's studies. I doubt if you're willing to go through such a rigorous study program and play head games with her on the side, but if you do, you are going to suffer in ways much more than you've bargained for.
Sometimes the best way to handle people like this is to beat them at their own game. You could say something like "I still want you in my life, but not right now...after law school is finished" and gauge her reaction to that. Then your answer will be crystal clear.

She already said she doesn't want a commitment. I say forget about it. The first year of law school is HELL. I've had friends go into law school and you barely hear from them or see them until they graduate. There really isn't time for relationships once you are there anyway.

Do you really want someone causing you drama while you are trying to focus on your studies? Law school is no joke.

I know its no joke, that's why I'm saying that if she comes back mid-semester that there's no way I can try and reconcile the relationship with the amount of work ill have... but if we try and reconcile now and conclude that she's going to get lots and lots of space, maybe it will help with her fear of commitment.

i know its no joke, thats why im saying that if she comes back mid-semester that theres no way i can try and reconcile the relationship with the amount of work ill have....but if we try and reconcile now and conclude that shes going to get lots and lots of space, maybe it will help with her fear of commitment.

My question to you is do you think she is going to pull some drama while you're at law school. Stuff like going crazy because you don't have time to call and talk to her for longer then 15 minutes? That you don't have time to see her.

But once again she has said she doesn't want a commitment. Focus on law school and forget her.

Its pretty simple and you are kidding yourself saying if she comes to me in September I won't have tyime you will make time I guarantee you this cause your in love and want her back. It won't matter if your busy in school you won't let her go so don't say that.

Next talking to her and the time frame this won't work. Don't do this its only you trying to get an answer when there is none at the moment. What you need to do is nothing or that bit about playing her at her game saying something like well I like you so much but maybe when I'm done in law school we might get together. Saying something like this is always good and you have to take a risk to accomplish your goal. Pushing her away will make her think what she is losing.'

Well after all this I would say nothing at all and I would go silent. Stop talking and tell her well you needed the break and, actually I would not even say anything I would just disappear as hard as this sounds if she wants a break let her miss you for god sake.