jaymaze
Jul 31, 2007, 03:37 PM
For complete background check out this link...
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/g-f-asked-me-space-its-killing-me-113782.html
For those of you not in the mood to read that novel... heres what we know... the ex and I broke up because she was just out of a 5 yr relationship and she "needed space" after 4 months of heavenly bliss with me. She decided NC last Sunday... then she drunk texted me Thursday night, IMd Friday night to apologize, texted Sunday night and IMd Sunday night when I didn't respond... she said she misses me like crazy, is surprised she didn't text me 1000 times last week, and still wants me in her life but just can't do it yet because she can't commit and its not fair to me. Our picture is still up on her fridge, I'm still up on her myspace, etc. (however, she has hidden my toothbrush, deoderant, hair gel, etc.). Well, still nothing changed and here we are 2 days later NO CONTACT. Right. So I'm supposed to give her her space, move on, focus on me, make her miss me, blah blah blah.
ANYWAY here's the thing... im starting law school in 2 weeks. Today during orientation the professor said "IF YOU HAVE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES CLEAR THEM UP NOW!!" which got me thinking... if she comes back to me in mid-september saying she wants to work things out, I'm going to be buried so deep in work that I won't have time for her and it'll never work. So I feel like August 15th (day 1 of school) is zero barrier... if we don't decide to work on it by then, the relationship is history. So here's my question...
Do I make a last ditch effort right now to make this work?. sort of like an ultimatum. Ask her to meet for coffee and explain to her that either, A) we get back together now and work on our issues knowing that I'm about to start school and she's going to get space anyway since I'm going to have a lot less time for her once school starts. Or B) we separate now for good and no contact means no contact because once I start school there's no way I believe we can fix things.
Our problem was that we thought that once we got in so deep (speaking/seeing each other 24/7) that there was no turning back and talking once a week or seeing each other once a week was not a viable option... but it appears that with me going to law school in 2 weeks that that is going to happen anyway.
Or is this a bad approach because it will force her to make a decision she's not ready to make and will allow her to think that she can walk all over me if we do get back together to try to work things out. Obviously she wasn't ready to commit a week ago and she's still not ready to commit... she "needs space" to figure out why she can't commit to me even though I'm perfect (her words). But if we agree to see each other once a week and have some kind of contact, does that help or does it just allow her to coast along having her cake and eating it too (no commitment and seeing me to satisfy that emotional void that left when we stopped talking.) oh the confusion.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/g-f-asked-me-space-its-killing-me-113782.html
For those of you not in the mood to read that novel... heres what we know... the ex and I broke up because she was just out of a 5 yr relationship and she "needed space" after 4 months of heavenly bliss with me. She decided NC last Sunday... then she drunk texted me Thursday night, IMd Friday night to apologize, texted Sunday night and IMd Sunday night when I didn't respond... she said she misses me like crazy, is surprised she didn't text me 1000 times last week, and still wants me in her life but just can't do it yet because she can't commit and its not fair to me. Our picture is still up on her fridge, I'm still up on her myspace, etc. (however, she has hidden my toothbrush, deoderant, hair gel, etc.). Well, still nothing changed and here we are 2 days later NO CONTACT. Right. So I'm supposed to give her her space, move on, focus on me, make her miss me, blah blah blah.
ANYWAY here's the thing... im starting law school in 2 weeks. Today during orientation the professor said "IF YOU HAVE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES CLEAR THEM UP NOW!!" which got me thinking... if she comes back to me in mid-september saying she wants to work things out, I'm going to be buried so deep in work that I won't have time for her and it'll never work. So I feel like August 15th (day 1 of school) is zero barrier... if we don't decide to work on it by then, the relationship is history. So here's my question...
Do I make a last ditch effort right now to make this work?. sort of like an ultimatum. Ask her to meet for coffee and explain to her that either, A) we get back together now and work on our issues knowing that I'm about to start school and she's going to get space anyway since I'm going to have a lot less time for her once school starts. Or B) we separate now for good and no contact means no contact because once I start school there's no way I believe we can fix things.
Our problem was that we thought that once we got in so deep (speaking/seeing each other 24/7) that there was no turning back and talking once a week or seeing each other once a week was not a viable option... but it appears that with me going to law school in 2 weeks that that is going to happen anyway.
Or is this a bad approach because it will force her to make a decision she's not ready to make and will allow her to think that she can walk all over me if we do get back together to try to work things out. Obviously she wasn't ready to commit a week ago and she's still not ready to commit... she "needs space" to figure out why she can't commit to me even though I'm perfect (her words). But if we agree to see each other once a week and have some kind of contact, does that help or does it just allow her to coast along having her cake and eating it too (no commitment and seeing me to satisfy that emotional void that left when we stopped talking.) oh the confusion.