Dear everyone,

Can someone please help me with this:

I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

I attended a very good university, double major in Civil engineering and Accounting with an almost perfect GPA. I speak three languages with lots of traveling expereince.(english as second :P)

Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable for doing most of the things on my own. I have good friends and I help people anytime I can.I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

I only been on only two dates in my entire life, once each. Both of the guys are intelligent guys too. Both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


Thank you in advance. I really think I try hard in everything in my life. I don't know how to flirt with guys because I am a good girl. Other than that... I think I got everything that a guy wants.

P.S. I am against sex before marriage and take things very serious and very dedicated at school and work. And if that is why they don't like me... I feel really sorry about the messy world now!

Thanks again!

I will be interested to see what other people tell you. I think I used to be a bit like you, although my test scores weren't as high and I was never a homecoming queen! I think guys maybe want someone who is less smart than they are, plus I think they like girls who flirt. I am caucasian, but when I was in school all my friends were Asian American and I pretty much acted like them. I worked hard and didn't flirt, put myself down. I thought that was the way I was supposed to act, modest. But I don't think it helped me much. I am much older now and feel that because so few guys were interested in me, I ended up marrying someone who picked me instead of someone I picked. Don't do that! (I'm divorced now.) You should pick the one you are interested in and maybe be more aggressive. Ask them for a date yourself. Think of something you'd like to do anyway and ask if they'd like to come. Or invite them to go with a group of others if that feels comfortable.

Recently, I went on a few dates through a dating site and one guy I went out with told me he didn't think I was interested. I was really surprised that he thought that. I realized that he expected me to flirt. So the very next time I went out, with someone else, I forced myself to flirt and got instant interest and THAT guy has been calling me constantly. I hate to say it, but I think it was just me flirting on the first date, which I'm not used to doing.

Anyway, I'm no expert for sure, but those are my thoughts based on my own experiences. Good luck!

PS. Definitely don't play dumb. You need to find someone who will love you for your brains, not be intimidated by them or feel like he has to persuade you that you are not that smart.

Aw... thank you so much. I am outgoing though, doesn't it help at all? How to flirt? I dress very nice though.
Guys all stare at me, but how come they don't ask me out?
I was told I was perfect by many people, I don't think I am perfect all I know that is I try hard in life and I am a smart person.
Thank you , I won't play dumb, I know to find the right one!:)
GOod luck on your dating too!

Come to England, we need more girls like you :p

One word, "intimidating." Of course you have all the attractive qualities that most look for, myself included. But I would feel so damn intimidated by all your achievements.
Are people who say how humble they really being humble? It's kind of oxymoronic.
I am sure you aren't as boastful as some would be in your position, but you've listed all these accomplishments like a RESUME.
To me, that's only part of the relationship deal, it also depends a lot on WHO YOU ARE, not WHAT YOU'VE DONE. I like someone who is down to earth, someone who loves to laugh and make me laugh, someone I can trust and depend on... etc.. etc.
You sound like a very good person and I wish I had more girl friends like you, don't worry, you will find someone, just don't rush the process or you'll end up with a jerk who doesn't deserve someone like you.

I have a great sense of humor, but seems like the better I am trying to be, the worse chance to get a date. Oh by the way, I am against sex before marriage, is that also why guys not interested in me? I will stay the way I am without a doubt. Anything wrong to have strong morals and all such?
Thanks

Be patient and keep doing what your doing and the right type of male will come your way, you don't have to settle, but you can find your own happiness, and someone will be glad to share it.

Thank you for the comment and advice. :)
I have been patient all the time, but once in a while, I get frustrated... if you were me u problly will do the same!
Thanks

hi

I think u should just take a chill pill.who soever z made for u will value u.
therz nothing to be sad about this that no guy goes datn wd u.trust god and b as you are.
no need to prove that you are wonderful n pure.

f u'll try n think this way your lif will b much easier.

yours truly
rehaan

Thanks, I hope my life is easier too. But I like to be the best as I can, just different views.
SOme people are happy about who they are now, some are not. It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all. :)
Thank you though

Hey, you know what you are lack of??
You need to RELAX, yes, relax. Almost everyone can see your ambition because you are showing it to them. I don't mean that ambition is bad. What I mean here is PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed. That's called imbalance. Everyone is afraid of being with imbalanced person. Maybe you are not so imbalanced but the way you behave/act/do/talk... shows them it.

So to repair this, you need to relax yourself 1st. Then things will come to you surprisingly :D

Hey, you know what you are lack of???
You need to RELAX, yes, relax. Almost everyone can see your ambition because you are showing it to them. I dont mean that ambition is bad. What i mean here is PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed. Thats called imbalance. Everyone is afraid of being with imbalanced person. Maybe you are not so imbalanced but the way you behave/act/do/talk... shows them it.

So to repair this, you need to relax urself 1st. Then things will come to you surprisingly :D

PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed". That makes so much sense! But I really didn't tell people about it, I don't talk like that... I am just writing it as a statement, let you analyze what is the problem. I am a humble personT.T

I think the bad guy and the good guy are intimidated buy you because I think they feel you are too smart for them and what can they talk to you about and the nice guy is to shy to approach. But if you are attracted or interested in someone just ask him out. What do you have to lose.

But those who did ask me out but I have rejected are either socially awkward ( don't get it that I have high standard) or jerks( that if they will ask any pretty girls out... can be my friend tomorrow). How come there is not a single normal, high queality guy?
Thanks

I think another thing is if most guys don't get that vibe that you are interested in them they won't ask for a second date. When on a date and had the vibe she wasn't interested, later I found out she was. So maybe if your interested at end of night give them that vibe you are interested.

what is a vibe please? SAB123 ^^

what is a vibe please? SAB123 ^^
Vibe=Feeling something... Letting that person know you interested in them.

This is not the only problem that is intitled with you.men like me have also serious problems like you and I want to say you that it is only time that can decide good things for good people like you .I am sorry for what you faced anyway!

Vibe=Feeling something......Letting that person know you interested in them.

Hm... how? I don't know how to flirt... ^^ I feel it's bad to flirt,, just can't do it.
I mentioned like " you look nice with the shirt"... :P what would u suggest me to do?
Thank you!:)

This is not the only probelm that is intitled with you.men like me have also serious probelms like you and i wanna say you that it is only time that can decide good things for good people like you .i am sorry for what you faced anyway!

Do you mean women don't like you because they are intimidated by you as well? What is your situation then? :)
Thank you

Hm...how? I don't know how to flirt...^^ I feel it's bad to flirt,,,just can't do it.
I mentioned like " you look nice with the shirt"...:P what would u suggest me to do?
Thank you!:)Yes, I would think you are interested in me if you said that or when talking a quick touch to his hand after he has said something funny. Because if I don't get that feeling she's interested I won't call again. You may won't to pick up a book about flirting or when a woman is into a man etc.(Don't no names of books but stuff like that)

well... I asked one of them if he was interested in a relationship after the first date, he said his life was in transition,blah,blah... would rather stay as friends... ^^
he still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful... geez, I am confused
Should I say more to him?
Thank you SAB123~

OF course there are all sorts of varoius guys. So you need to find and decide what type of guy you are looking for. I believe in finding and becoming good friends first. For example my wife and I meet on the internet, we chatted for about 3 months before ever meeting.

well...I asked one of them if he was interested in a relationship after the first date, he said his life was in transition,blah,blah...would rather stay as friends...^^
he still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful...geez, I am confused
Should I say more to him?
Thank you SAB123~
Yes, be friends with him, because he probably has single friends too. Who no's you guys become friends and maybe one day you'll fall in love. Another thing do you tell the guys no sex before marrige. Im sorry to say but most guys won't wait until their married.

Thank you, but yea, I am pretty sure they can tell that I am against it. Ppl know me know that I am a tradiational, good asian girl. And my friends all know that and I am well known on campus as a moral person. ^^. I think my future husband will appreciate I keep it for him! U think so? As a man...

what is a vibe please? SAB123 ^^

All those brains and you don't know what a vibe is? Hmm... :p

Well, first off--most guys are not put off by intelligence. There are some, I'm sure, who'd be either intimidated or bothered by it, but I highly doubt most are. GIRLS don't like intelligent guys. They prefer meatheads. Doesn't work vice versa.

That said, looks get you the audition, personality gets you the part. If you think you have the looks part covered, then something's wrong with your personality. As has been said, I doubt you rattle off your qualifications whenever you meet someone, so I'm guessing something about you is off-putting. Are you quiet when you go out with a guy? Do you have a hard time answering questions? Sometimes shyness or a lack of communication is taken as snobbery and that DEFINITELY is a turn-off.

Also, your devotion to celibacy before marriage is, in this day and age, going to rule out a HUGE percentage of guys. Do you mention this on the first date? It may be the reason you don't get second dates. NOT SAYING you should start having sex just because of it, but I strongly believe the majority of men in today's sexually liberal society expect sex before marriage.

Anyway, again, my point is that your qualifications aren't going to get you a guy: your personality, however, will. Why do you think there are so many religious studies girls out with all the guys you wish you could get?

Good luck!

Well, english is my second language, so I don't know what is "vibe"... :P
But howcome they can't wait until marriage... if they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality?
Sigh...

You list several impressive accomplishments and positions, but what do you do just for fun? What are your interests or hobbies outside of accounting and engineering?

All those brains and you don't know what a vibe is?! Hmm... :p

Well, first off--most guys are not put off by intelligence. There are some, I'm sure, who'd be either intimidated or bothered by it, but I highly doubt most are. GIRLS don't like intelligent guys. They prefer meatheads. Doesn't work vice versa.

That said, looks get you the audition, personality gets you the part. If you think you have the looks part covered, then something's wrong with your personality. As has been said, I doubt you rattle off your qualifications whenever you meet someone, so I'm guessing something about you is off-putting. Are you quiet when you go out with a guy? Do you have a hard time answering questions? Sometimes shyness or a lack of communication is taken as snobbery and that DEFINITELY is a turn-off.

Also, your devotion to celibacy before marriage is, in this day and age, going to rule out a HUGE percentage of guys. Do you mention this on the first date? It may be the reason you don't get second dates. NOT SAYING you should start having sex just because of it, but I strongly believe the majority of men in today's sexually liberal society expect sex before marriage.

Anyway, again, my point is that your qualifications aren't going to get you a guy: your personality, however, will. Why do you think there are so many religious studies girls out with all the guys you wish you could get?

Good luck!

Well, english is my second language, so I don't know what is "vibe"... :P
But howcome they can't wait until marriage... if they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality?
Sigh...

You list several impressive accomplishments and positions, but what do you do just for fun? What are your interests or hobbies outside of accounting and engineering?

I cook, bake,volunteer and organize student activities on campus. Watch movies with my girl friends and just hang out with my girls... I don't drink , smoke, party at all... but I do like to meet new people

Yes, I believe he will appreciate it, and as huno asked are you a shy person, because that will turn off a guy. I went on date with girl I did all the talking the hole night. And didn't ask for second date. Saw her a couple of weeks later and she said how come I didn't want to go out again and told her you didn't talk. She begged for another date but said no thanks. You may want to go to church or check out churchfriend finder to find people with morals.

Well, english is my second language, so I don't know what is "vibe"...:P
but howcome they can't wait til marriage...if they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality?
Sigh...

Well...

1) What kinds of guys are you going after? Do you meet them in libraries, the Accounting Club, and the Engineering Society, or by the keg+ at the frat*?

2) This is America--this country is just coming off the 1960s, where sex was not just everywhere, it was damn-near a commodity! I think Newsweek just published an article about this.

Now, I have a Taiwanese female friend--also very bright, and looks great in tight jeans (people who've read my posts will notice a trend here... :D)--she dates guys exclusively from Taiwan. Plenty of great guys there, as they are raised with traditional values matching hers.

From reading your posts, I think you'd do better dating men who have been raised in a similar culture. I was Computer Science, and there was no shortage of Asians there. Try hanging out at the CS labs.


--huno

*frat: short for "fraternity house." A building housing fraternity members; identifiable by looking for large buildings with greek lettering above doors and burning couches parked on lawns. Usually smells of beer, weed and condoms.

+keg: short for "keg of beer." A metal receptacle housing an alcoholic beverage; identifiable by looking for large oafish guys and nearly-naked blonde girls hovering around said receptable, confined within a frat*. Usually smells of beer, weed and condoms.

Well...

1) What kinds of guys are you going after? Do you meet them in libraries, the Accounting Club, and the Engineering Society, or by the keg+ at the frat*?

2) This is America--this country is just coming off the 1960s, where sex was not just everywhere, it was damn-near a commodity! I think Newsweek just published an article about this.

Now, I have a Taiwanese female friend--also very bright, and looks great in tight jeans (people who've read my posts will notice a trend here... :D)--she dates guys exclusively from Taiwan. Plenty of great guys there, as they are raised with traditional values matching hers.

From reading your posts, I think you'd do better dating men who have been raised in a similar culture. I was Computer Science, and there was no shortage of Asians there. Try hanging out at the CS labs.


--huno

*frat: short for "fraternity house." A building housing fraternity members; identifiable by looking for large buildings with greek lettering above doors and burning couches parked on lawns. Usually smells of beer, weed and condoms.

+keg: short for "keg of beer." A metal receptacle housing an alcoholic beverage; identifiable by looking for large oafish guys and nearly-naked blonde girls hovering around said receptable, confined within a frat*. Usually smells of beer, weed and condoms.

I do go to all those student organizations because I am the Presidents of them all,lol

I like guys who are smarter than I am, not afraid to ask me out. And well behaved.:)

Well... I hang out in the engineering lab all the time, I have fun with them. I make tham laugh ALL THE TIME. I know they all like me if not they won't vote me as homecoming queen and they all stare at me, that's how I tell. :P but they are afraid to ask me out, because I am one of the two TA in the department. I make all "A"s, they know that! I tried to ask them hw questions, but they end up ask me about it. Geez...
Well... be frankly... I think I am attracted to white male ^^;
Do you like asian girls? ;) sounds like you might...
hehe

Yes, I believe he will appreciate it, and as huno asked are you a shy person, because that will turn off a guy. I went on date with girl I did all the talking the hole night. And didn't ask for second date. Saw her a couple of weeks later and she said how come I didn't want to go out again and told her you didn't talk. She begged for another date but said no thanks. You may want to go to church or check out churchfriend finder to find people with morals.

I am outgoing! If not, how do I become all the Presidents and Homecoming Queen?:p I have a great sense of humour too! :D but I am too bad at driving a car, do u think that is an issue?:rolleyes:
OH, but my face does turn red easily when I am with guys, but overall I am out going...

Well...be frankly...I think I am attracted to white male ^^;
Do you like asian girls? ;) sounds like you might...
hehe

You and every other Asian girl on the planet wants a white guy... :D

And sorry to disappoint you... Watashi wa Mekishikoke Amerikajin desu!

You and every other Asian girl on the planet wants a white guy... :D

And sorry to disappoint you... Watashi wa Mekishikoke Amerikajin desu!

Haha, don't mexican guys all like a white girl?:D

Have fun and be happy, and I suspect after the academic life is over, and you get to the real world, your opportunities will increase. I think an older more mature fellow, will rock your socks. One who is as confident, and very established. He will appear when your ready, not when you think you are.

I agree with talaniman. Now guys around you are not as excellent as you. The real gold's shimmering color can't be hidden bu anything in the end. By the way, proud of you, beautiful Asian girl :)

haha, don't mexican guys all like a white girl?:D

Hahaha... not all of us. I am more into mexican girls. As I've said before, I can only seduce in Spanish.

BTW, what the hell did that guy who disagreed say? I failed the Kanji portion of Japanese 101 six years ago...

Watashi wa chotto nihongo o hanashimasu. Chotto, chotto, chotto.


--huno

P.S.: Chotto.

Huni don't get worked up over nothing I'm 26 and I'm not with any one but like my mother said the right person will come looking for you one day so just live your life well your young enough to do so if you want I will come out some time and meet you its up to you just don't put yourself down your worth more than that OK huni

Hahaha... not all of us. I am more into mexican girls. As I've said before, I can only seduce in Spanish.

BTW, what the hell did that guy who disagreed say? I failed the Kanji portion of Japanese 101 six years ago...

Watashi wa chotto nihongo o hanashimasu. Chotto, chotto, chotto.


--huno

P.S.: Chotto.

First, my disagreement told you that love is pure, no boundary barriers , no background superiority, and no color in it.
Secondly, my disagreement told you that not all the girls like white guys. If someday love is measured by someone's ignorant preferred color on skin, what the hell is the necessity of goodness of a human-being?
Lastly but not the least, don't be biased against others.
BTW, I am a girl not a guy!
If you feel it impolite, I am sorry.

Wish you good luck!

First, my disagreement told you that love is pure, no boundary barriers , no background superiority, and no color in it.
Secondly, my disagreement told you that not all the girls like white guys. If someday love is measured by someone's ignorant preferred color on skin, what the hell is the necessity of goodness of a human-being?
Lastly but not the least, don't be biased against others.
BTW, I am a girl not a guy!
If you feel it impolite, I am sorry.

Wish you good luck!

Oh yeah? Well Google Translate says different:



很 White 种 person multi 亚 state human watching non- above. 也 让 你 disappointment Ryo. Lower next 说 话 gratitude 貌 point!

First off, my name's not Ryo--I'm not even Japanese: I'm Mexican, goddammit! I just took one Japanese class in city college. And my mom says I'm not a disappointment, so there.

Secondly, that second character looks like two dudes doing it. Are you sure you're a girl?

Thirdly, and my main point for nicespringgirl, you should probably stick to intelligent guys but make sure one of you is talkative... preferably you. And sex, I've come to learn, is a HUGE part of a relationship. To many people, it can actually break a relationship if the sex isn't good (or not present at all). So just keep in mind you'll probably have to go through several guys until you get one that will accept you and your beliefs (and you shouldn't compromise your standards just to have a BF, though I'm sure you already knew that).

And no, not being able to drive a car well doesn't mean anything. Hell, the guy should be driving you around; if he wants to date you that's his job.

Finally, watch out, cjnvgq, or maybe I'll lower your next gratitude point.

The translation is not true.

I am sorry to have troubled you to spend energy to figure out what I said in Chinese.

I agree with talaniman. Now guys around you are not as excellent as you. The real gold's shimmering color can't be hidden bu anything in the end. By the way, proud of you, beautiful Asian girl :)

Thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your comment! Hugs:)

The translation is not true.

I am sorry to have troubled you to spend energy to figure out what I said in Chinese.

Hahaha... yes, I had to rent out IBM's chess computer to solve that one...

I answered your question privately. I hope my answer helps.

Joe

Oh yeah? Well Google Translate says different:



First off, my name's not Ryo--I'm not even Japanese: I'm Mexican, goddammit! I just took one Japanese class in city college. And my mom says I'm not a disappointment, so there.

Secondly, that second character looks like two dudes doing it. Are you sure you're a girl?

Thirdly, and my main point for nicespringgirl, you should probably stick to intelligent guys but make sure one of you is talkative... preferably you. And sex, I've come to learn, is a HUGE part of a relationship. To many people, it can actually break a relationship if the sex isn't good (or not present at all). So just keep in mind you'll probably have to go through several guys until you get one that will accept you and your beliefs (and you shouldn't compromise your standards just to have a BF, though I'm sure you already knew that).

And no, not being able to drive a car well doesn't mean anything. Hell, the guy should be driving you around; if he wants to date you that's his job.

Finally, watch out, cjnvgq, or maybe I'll lower your next gratitude point.


No sex before marriage! I of course look for intelligent guys and who drives fast!:D haha, you and cjnvgq please don't fight over the detail, you guys are cute!:D

Thank you, everyone! I have learned a lot from all of you. :)
I am glad I join the ask me help desk!

I will pray that you are never on here for a brake up. This is the worse feeling anybody go through.

I will pray that you are never on here for a brake up. This is the worse feeling anybody go thru.

Oh I know,, that is the fear I have... that's why I am so serious about dating,so picky, don't fall easily. I need to pick the perfect guy and try to be the best girlfriend. I am sorry if you have experienced a bad girlfriend... just so let you know,, there are good girls in the world! U'll find the perfect one! :)

Oh I know,,,that is the fear I have...that's why I am so serious about dating,so picky, don't fall easily. I need to pick the perfect guy and try to be the best gf.

Gotcha! This is the very wrong attitude, now I know why you haven't got a boyfriend.

1st, "im so serious about dating"--->you might not fall easy, but I don't think you will have deep love with this attitude, since the process should be reversed. You relax, feel good, when he comes to your life, you have fun with him 1st, and then things slowly turn serious later on. Like me for example, if someone dated me with serious thought at 1st, I would run as fast as I can, you see why people date you once and rarely twice?

2nd, "I need to pick the perfect guy"---> that's a fasle hope, no one is perfect even you, so why you set that unrealistic condition??

3rd, " and try to be the best gf" ---> you are his best girlfriend or not IS NOT what you can decide, its HIM to decide if you're best. You can't use logic in love. You never know what is the best in love, there is nothing like "ok, i am a good cook, i have high IQ, i'm beautiful THEN i must be the best" , NONONO, its about feeling. If he loves you most, then you're the best girlfriend for him no matter who you are, even just a cleaner.

4th, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, I see that you set too many conditions to love someone. I have manyyy examples of girls like you around me end up marrying mediocre guys (or even losers). They all wish they changed their minds before

Gotcha! This is the very wrong attitude, now i know why you havent got a bf.

1st, "im so serious about dating"--->you might not fall easy, but i dont think you will have deep love with this attitude, since the process should be reversed. You relax, feel good, when he comes to your life, you have fun with him 1st, and then things slowly turn serious later on. Like me for example, if someone dated me with serious thought at 1st, i would run as fast as i can, you see why ppl date you once and rarely twice?

2nd, "I need to pick the perfect guy"---> thats a fasle hope, noone is perfect even you, so why you set that unrealistic condition???

3rd, " and try to be the best gf" ---> you are his best gf or not IS NOT what you can decide, its HIM to decide if you're best. You can't use logic in love. You never know what is the best in love, there is nothing like "ok, i am a good cook, i have high IQ, i'm beautiful THEN i must be the best" , NONONO, its about feeling. If he loves you most, then you're the best gf for him no matter who you are, even just a cleaner.

4th, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, i see that you set too many conditions to love someone. I have manyyy examples of girls like you around me end up marrying mediocre guys (or even losers). They all wish they changed their minds before


Thank you a lot for helping my go through all the details! I see some of my problems now. I didn't tell any of them that I was looking for a serious relatioship, but I think they figured on their own that since I am a serious person and traditional. And actually they were the one told me they want to a serious relationship, so I went out with them!! Do they just lie to me to get a date?I hope to meet a guy who is smarter than I am, who tried as hard I have done in my life. Thank you for your analysis, that is very helpful!

Before I met my ex I was very picky about who I wanted to date. And I did not ask a lot of girls out because of this. I wanted a model and the perfect person. And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex. She wasn't a 10 but I was happy to be with her. And when I fell in love with her in my eyes she was a 10. So I guess what I'm saying is you will be single if you're looking for the perfect one. Because no one is perfect.

Before I met my ex I was very picky about who I wanted to date. And I did not ask alot of girls out because of this. I wanted a model and the perfect person. And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex. She wasn't a 10 but I was happy to be with her. And when I fell in love with her in my eyes she was a 10. So I guess what I'm saying is you will be single if you're looking for the perfect one. Because no one is perfect.

I never like "BTN"( better than none), I'd rather be single if I haven't met the right one. I am just confused about being a good girl and working hard in so many ways... how come no guy will be interested in me? How do I know if guys still a type of girl like me? If I knew a guy who works as hard as I do I won't miss him! I do have high standards, when we are young, we are all dreaming the perfect one. I think I have the right to find a high-quality man, at least my level.

I am just confused about being a good girl and working hard in so many ways...how come no guy will be interested in me? how do I know if guys still a type of girl like me?

I still contend you're too hung-up on your credentials. I don't think most guys care about how many honors you've won at school (to be fair, girls don't really care either... at least not American women). They care more about whether you're fun to be around.

Like I said, it's mainly your personality that will win you friendships and lovers. Work on that. Maybe think about why they see you as just a friend.

You're an effing prude. Guys don't want that. Nobody wants that.

Look how many effing times in your posts you say how great you are, and how many times you say "I," "me," or "my."

Yeah... these comments come to mind:


Can someone please help me with this:

I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable for doing most of the things on my own.

I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

Both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


I dress very nice though.
Guys all stare at me,

I was told I was perfect by many people

I try hard in life and I am a smart person

I have a great sense of humor

It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all

He still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful.

If they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality"


Everyone! Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me! I'm so awesome. Someone pleeeeeeassssse feel sorry for me that I don't have a date. Look how much you should be sorry for me!!


Get off it.

I still contend you're too hung-up on your credentials. I don't think most guys care about how many honors you've won at school (to be fair, girls don't really care either... at least not American women). They care more about whether or not you're fun to be around.

Like I said, it's mainly your personality that will win you friendships and lovers. Work on that. Maybe think about why they see you as just a friend.

I am a very funny person, I make them laugh all the time. My personality is the key thing that made me a popular student at school, I had the highest votes at SGA election and Homecoming Queen Competittion. If I suck at personality, how come everyone is my friend? People like me because I am free from drama and cool, willing to help people, and have funny jokes and her view of many things.maybe they see that I am too busy, but no matter how busy I am, I'd like to have accompany to inspire each other and do fun stuff together, who doesn't? Thank you again for your analysis, feel free to give me more advice, I really appreciate Huno!:)

You're an effing prude. Guys don't want that. Nobody wants that.

Look how many effing times in your posts you say how great you are, and how many times you say "I," "me," or "my."

Yeah....these comments come to mind:


Can someone please help me with this:

I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable fo doing most of the things on my own.

I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


I dress very nice though.
guys all stare at me,

I was told I was perfect by many people

I try hard in life and I am a smart person

I have a great sense of humor

It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all

he still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful.

if they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality"


Everyone! Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me! I'm so awesome. someone pleeeeeeassssse feel sorry for me that I don't have a date. Look how much you should be sorry for me!!!!


Get off it.

I am not like that as you've thought. I am frustrated about it, since it has been a problem for a while and my friends don't get it either. I do try my best in many things, I am sure there are plenty of us achieve a lot in their life. The way I am talking now is problly a little bit not proper, but that's how I can express my feeling at this moment, if you were me, how would you write about yourself and everything is true and I did have done a lot. Thanks

I do have high standards, when we are young, we are all dreaming the perfect one. I think I have the right to find a high-quality man, at least my level.
You do have that right, and if a resume is what a man needs to date you so be it. But always know that when you hand over your resume to him, his standard may be high also. My experiences tell me that there is much more to humans besides accomplishments and the smartest man or woman may be the most evil SOB, that there is. A lot goes into a choice for a life partner, that go beyond credentials, haven't you ever heard that it may look good on paper, but doesn't work in real life.

You do have that right, and if a resume is what a man needs to date you so be it. But always know that when you hand over your resume to him, his standard may be high also. My experiences tell me that there is much more to humans besides accomplishments and the smartest man or woman may be the most evil SOB, that there is. A lot goes into a choice for a life partner, that go beyond credentials, haven't you ever heard that it may look good on paper, but doesn't work in real life.

So what do you suggest me to do? I want to find out what my problem is and I am humble... thank you.

And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex.
I think what young people do now is look for a lifemate with preconceived notions of what they are looking for. Back in my day it was more just the dating for fun, ( okay, and sex!! ) and if you had that fun, it lead to something else, but we dated as much as we could, without this exclusive stuff so early on, when you meet some one. It is so easy to invest a lot emotionally and spiritually when you think in terms of he/she is the one, but without the emotional experience, that only comes from the doing, we naturally make mistakes, and pay the emotional price. I think the successful relationship are the ones where mature people, having learned from experience have come together and deal with out the mistakes of the past to hinder them. Bottom line is have fun as much as you can with as many as you can, enjoy it until that one really shows up, and you grow together. For a long time my mantra was,

"If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with."

Life is short have fun.

A mature person doesn't date for FUN, that's what I have believed. A mature knows what comes first in life, a good education and a good career to build a good foudation for future life.

I'm 6', 150. 25 years old with two bachelor's degrees. I've spent the better part of the last two years running my own business.

I can bench press my body weight and run a mile in under 5 minutes. I've run a half marathon, and just missed running the Chicago Marathon due to injury.

I've met thousands of people from over a hundred countries. I can speak two languages and am literate in three others.

I have a natural charisma that draws people to me looking for leadership. I have a talent for creating plans and organizing their completion, in both professional and casual life.

So... want to go out some time?

...

...

...

No? Didn't think so. Your attitude here is the same as mine above. If this is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING like the way you act out in the real world, that's your problem.

Look outside yourself. What are you looking for in somebody to date? You don't even mention that anywhere here... everything is about you. From everything you have posted here, all you want is somebody who loves you as much as you do. That's a whole lot of ego.

Trust me, I'm an arrogant prick. An egotistical [expletive deleted]. I've rubbed so many people the wrong way with my cockiness that it's not even funny to see them get irritated about it anymore. If you want to find somebody to actually spend time with and develop a relationship, you're going to have to start looking at them for them, not for how they think of you. It's really not that hard to do, once you figure out that your self-importance is what stands in your way.

So what do you suggest me to do? I wanna find out what my problem is and I am humble...thank you.
Stop looking for a husband, and stop shopping your resume, get real and have a good time with everyone, not just the highly qualified. Just be human. Learn about real people. Those paper accomplishment may be great on a job interview, but mean nothing in the real world, where you will be just another graduating virgin, looking for a date on Saturday night. Not to be harsh at all , but reality is a bltch.:eek:

Ask yourself if you want real love, or real money?? :confused:
The right answer is both!! :cool:
The trick is how to get them.:p
Reality is, how do you keep them?? ;)

A mature person doesn't date for FUN,
What does a mature person date for??

Work hard, play even harder. When you get older what do you think your going to miss more, WORK, or FUN!!

I read all of these, comments and stuff of yours and people on this post. I see that you confront them so much, answer immediately after their comment. Why don't you just sit, and THINK, deeply THINK about what they said. Don't reply that fast since it makes me think that you already have the TYPE in your mind, and anyone who is against it, you confront. It doesn't help. They just help you by listing all of the issues that might cause you being single. So, choose the right answer for yourself.

If you are still not satisfied, I suggest this website for you How To Flirt! "Secrets of Flirting With Men" By Mimi Tanner (http://www.secrets-of-flirting.com/) (im not advertising anything, its just the last choice of yours if things don't change for several months later)

I'm 6', 150. 25 years old with two bachelor's degrees. I've spent the better part of the last two years running my own business.

I can bench press my body weight and run a mile in under 5 minutes. I've run a half marathon, and just missed running the Chicago Marathon due to injury.

I've met thousands of people from over a hundred countries. I can speak two languages and am literate in three others.

I have a natural charisma that draws people to me looking for leadership. I have a talent for creating plans and organizing their completion, in both professional and casual life.

So... want to go out some time?

...

...

...

No? Didn't think so. Your attitude here is the same as mine above. If this is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING like the way you act out in the real world, that's your problem.

Look outside yourself. What are you looking for in somebody to date? You don't even mention that anywhere here... everything is about you. From everything you have posted here, all you want is somebody who loves you as much as you do. That's a whole lot of ego.

Trust me, I'm an arrogant prick. An egotistical [expletive deleted]. I've rubbed so many people the wrong way with my cockiness that it's not even funny to see them get irritated about it anymore. If you want to find somebody to actually spend time with and develop a relationship, you're gonna have to start looking at them for them, not for how they think of you. It's really not that hard to do, once you figure out that your self-importance is what stands in your way.

I see... you are right! I act completely differently as the way I have talked here. It's sad that people think I am stuck up... actually in real life, I am very humble, I do think inside of me I am overachieving and people do praise me all the time. I wish they didn't... I hope I can meet someone, but where? I work full time and have school duty...

Um... people meet people to date at work and school all the time.

You just have to stop looking for someone who is everything you've always wanted, and start looking for friends that might be more.

If you had asked me at 20 what I wanted in a man, I would have described something almost impossible. What I GOT in a man, who I have been happy with for 11 years now, is completely different from that image. COMPLETELY different.

He is, however, exactly the kind of person I NEED. Not what I want, but what makes me happy and balances me completely.

If you're looking for a specific type, you'll never find it.

If you keep an open mind, happiness will drop into your lap.

And yeah... don't be so serious about dating. It smacks of desperation, and desperation makes people run the other way.

Thank you, that makes lot of sense to me. I do aim high and I did reject couple guys in my department before when they asked me out, that's problly other guys are scared to ask me out. I really think those who asked me out didn't suit me at all... I see now I do need to be open minded, but it has been so hard to lower my standards... so hard... and I am not willing to... I am not asking too much, just someone who loves me and have achieveement the same level as I have done, and he must be single, against sex before marriage too.

I have been reading this thread in its entirety and let me say that you sound way too intense! I can see why men may be intimidated by you. I know (and I am a woman), I was almost intimidated into not answering this post.

Hun, let me say that you do not need to lower your standard, but you DO need to broaden your horizons.

You see what you are looking for in a man you may never find unless you plan on marrying many men. LOL

You are looking for the perfect man, and he just isn't there. There is no man out there that will encompass everything you desire all wrapped up into one person. The perfect man just does not exist.

Instead of lowering your standards, why don't you change your priorities?

When you meet a man you do not know in the first date, first month, or even the first year if he is what you are looking for. That is why the proper way of dating takes so long to achieve. It is all about exploration.

So, he doesn't have the same academic achievements as you, but does that make him bad? No, it just means he may not have had the opportunities that you have been so lucky to have had. Does that mean he can't achieve that in the future? No, he just needs to be given the opportunity.

Just because a person does not have the same education as you does not make them off limits. We all have our strengths, and we all have our weaknesses. You don't seem to see that. All you are looking for are the strengths and when you find a weakness you run for the hills.

You see, I think you may not be asking too much, but you certainly are expecting too much.

Mr. Right is someone who compliments you, whether academically or not. Someone who makes you happy, who makes you laugh, smile, even cry sometimes.

So what if he is not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, he is someone who makes you happy, who respects you and your beliefs. Who cares if he doesn't make a million dollars a year as long as he loves and respects you.

it has been so hard to lower my standards....so hard...and I am not willing to...I am not asking too much, just someone who loves me and have achieveement the same level as I have done, and he must be single, against sex before marriage too.

This is part of the problem. You are looking for some one to marry not date. You are looking for a knight in shining armor. You can't expect a guy to be all those things. And it isn't about lowering your standards but having realistic expectations.

Honestly, I think your standards are too high and too organized. You have not "dated" much so you don't really know what you want. Trust me, you will one day find that perfect man and he will be everything you have ever wanted in a guy. You will get married and live a long BORING life together. Finding someone that is a little bit different from you is good. Haven't you ever heard "opposites attract"? Can you imagine living a life with someone that has the same outlook on everything that you do? Where would the conversation be? You would agree and the talking would cease! There would be no excitement or passion in anything. You are not suppose to fall in love with someone because of how smart they are and how many clubs they are in. You fall for them because of who they are. You can't got out on the hunt for the perfect man until you go through a few bad ones to find out what you want. The guy I am with now is nothing like I ever wanted. I had standards. A lot of them. He met maybe half of them and we clash on a lot of things and I LOVE IT. We never have a boring conversation and we get along perfectly. Just open up a little and date. Its not morally wrong to try and figure out what you really want.

This is part of the problem. You are looking for some one to marry not date. You are looking for a knight in shining armor. You can't expect a guy to be all those things. And it isn't about lowering your standards but having realistic expectations.

I think you are right, I am kind of serious, if I don't see the person I can marry in the future, I won't date him. It doesn't necessarily mean that I will marry this one, the thing is that I must see him somewhat close to my expection of my future husband. I can't just go out to have fun, I need to be responsible, if I am sure I won't marry someone like him, I won't even go out to him.

I hate to say this but are going to be single for along time. Their might be 1% of guys who are like this but you are going to have trouble finding them. I know I like to have fun when I'm first dating someone then be responsible when we fall in love?

People, I think you're all being too hard on the original poster. Sure, I dislike her as much as you all do--I mean, her username is very misleading. "nicespringgirl" isn't all that nice... her personality is more of an autumn, maybe wintry... and I'm not sure she's even a girl!

But you're all being WAY too hard on her (him?) regarding her qualifications. I don't think she posted them to brag to us and I highly doubt that she starts every conversation by rattling off her resume.

I think she's just feeling frustrated that other girls get to have boyfriends and have dates while she sits at home lonely on a Friday night. She probably sees herself as a catch, which I'm sure she is, and so she views her situation as unfair. That's all.




--huno

P.S.: I don't really dislike you, nicespringgirl. It's that other Chinese girl I can't stand... :mad:

Thanks for your pains.
I just hope next time you would be more considerate.
I really dislike people like you.

What's wrong with having responsible fun? Hun, you are in for a very long lonely life if you only think about responsibility and not fun. Not to mention that therapists can be expensive and you will need one if you don't have fun.

Maybe that is why men are not interested in you. They may see you as all serious and responsible rather than funloving and carefree.

You can be responsible and funloving at the same time you know. ;)

I really dislike people like you.

So I take it we're not going out after all? :D

What's wrong with having responsible fun? Hun, you are in for a very long lonely life if you only think about responsibility and not fun. Not to mention that therapists can be expensive and you will need one if you don't have fun.

Maybe that is why men are not interested in you. They may see you as all serious and responsible rather than funloving and carefree.

You can be responsible and funloving at the same time ya know. ;)

I did try that... but I won't let a guy touch me as "fun". I will joke, I can do that. And I'll watch movies and volunteer with him, or cook, bake, even play videogames, go to bookstore... is that still not enough? Study together is good too;)(okay,okay... I take that back)... ^^

I did try that...but I won't let a guy touch me as "fun".

Touch you in what way? If you won't let a guy touch you at all, not meaning sexually, then you are going to have some problems. :confused:

Actually, I don't dislike anyone here.

I just want to point out that dating is NOT always about getting married. If you put marriage into it right away... oh boy. No one likes that kind of pressure.

Let's put it this way: I may not have had the qualifications of the original poster, but at 20 years old, I was 5'4, 115 lbs, with waist length hair. I was in college with a scholarship, though not a full scholarship, and I worked besides. I didn't get all As, but I did take school seriously. I also had a ton of friends, and went out with them a lot, as a group.

I dated a few guys, and had had a few serious relationships by that time (don't ask, it's a long story), but mostly, I was having fun. Dinner, a movie, a walk downtown with a guy... these were GREAT dates, whether I wanted to marry the guy. I mean... if nothing ELSE came of it, at least maybe I'd have a good friend!

My ideal guy then was 6'4, blonde (preferably curls!), nice body, had a degree or was working on one, took work seriously, cared about his family and was nice to animals. He had to like to read books, but like going clubbing too. He had to have fingernails he didn't bite, had to remember birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. He had to know how to cook, clean and iron. He had to be willing to see me at my ugliest (like when I was sick) yet still think I was the MOST beautiful woman in the world. He had to like kids, know the difference between two, too, and to, and not drink too much. He couldnt' do drugs and had to make time for me no matter WHAT his work and school schedule was. He had to call me every day, and be willing to make do with only a kiss until after marriage. He had to be smart, funny, handsome, a gentleman, a poet, a rogue, willing to defend me at all costs, even if I was wrong... he had to be PERFECT.

Most women are looking for Aragorn. Guess what? He doesn't exist!

The man I married is 5'6", and kind of chubby. He shaves his head, because he's losing his hair. He's smart and funny, but doesn't have a degree. He does, however, have a good job and good ethics. He wasn't willing to make me a princess and give me everythign I ever wanted. He is, however, willing to do absolutely anything to make me happy when I'm having a bad day. He's not a poet, but what he does say is honest and heartfelt. He probably couldn't beat anyone up for me, but he'd try if it meant saving me from something bad. He YELLS at me on a regular basis, but usually because I'm being dumb. He's practical about the things I get dreamy about, and dreamy about the things I'm practical about. We COMPLIMENT each other.

Is he my dream guy? You betcha.

Is he the guy I thought I'd marry at 20? No way! I HATED him for the 1st six months I knew him. He made sexist comments and jokes the first night I met him and he threw me in the snow! I thought he was arrogant and a jerk, and he thought I was too much of a flirt and that I got upset too easily, and was too much of an idealist. We kept getting thrown together, though, because we had the same group of friends.

What I'm saying, by telling you all of this, is that you CAN NOT KNOW who is marriage material by meeting someone, or going on a single date with them. People just aren't the same person on a first date, or the first time you meet them, as they are in their everyday lives. Give some poor guy more than one chance to show you that he's marriage material.

I did try that...but I won't let a guy touch me as "fun". I will joke, I can do that. And I'll watch movies and volunteer with him, or cook, bake, even play videogames, go to bookstore...is that still not enough? study together is good too;)(okay,okay...I take that back)...^^

By fun I don't mean sex. I mean go to a movie, go to an amusement park.

Hun, you are way WAY too caught up in sex.

You do not have to have sex to have fun.

Go to a comedy club, go to a bar and go dancing.

You need to lighten up in a big way!

You say you did "try that". You don't just stop trying to have fun if it doesn't work the first time or two.

Look, I am very responsible. I am a nursing student, wife, and a mother of 4 children. But I take time to make sure I have fun. Life is terribly boring without it.

Hun, you are way WAY too caught up in sex.

If you were a 23 year old virgin that needs to get laid in a bad way, I bet you would be caught up on sex too. ;)

When people don't have expectations for love, love might come to them secretly. An everlasting and responsible love is a common and plain one too. Now you get so many opinions from people, at least one could see that there are different standards for judgment in love values.
People here might change what they were thinking in last minute. Some of us will wake up on some day in future by somebody who will give them a lifelong promise.

I haven't read all the answers here but...

Can you give us more details about those two dates that you've had? How old were those guys and what about the dates? How were they? What did you do? What did you talk about? How did you respond?. details!

If everything's so great and wonderful, it would be interesting to at least try to find out why they didn't want a second date with you.

Somehow, I can recognize myself in you, but I do get second dates...
However, I don't think I am full of myself. You sound a little bit full of yourself, though. No offense!

I haven't read all the answers here but...

Can you give us more details about those two dates that you've had? How old were those guys and what about the dates? How were they? What did you do? What did you talk about? How did you respond? ... details!

If everything's so great and wonderful, it would be interesting to at least try to find out why they didn't want a second date with you.

Somehow, I can recognize myself in you, but I do get second dates...
However, I don't think I am full of myself. You sound a little bit full of yourself, though. No offense!

Thank you kristynn! Thank you for being so willing to take your time analyzing it. The first one he was in our grad school, he was 24, I was 21. We met through a professor actaually,lol.we went to musuem and restaurant, he bought me flowers. I didn't hug him or he didn't hug me after the date.I understand he had to leave and IS in a transition of his life. He is currently in Cambridge getting his PH.D. He still talks to me. He appeared very very serious and he didn't tell me he was going to Uk CAmbridge... T.T until after the date. He told the professor that "Cindy is such a good girl I dont' know if I can be balt to take care of her when I am gone..."T.T
The second one is at my age, he was an excellent baseball player in our school. He was a great guy and he was also against sex before marriage. We had fun hang out in the mall, movie,pool, he hugged me once, touched my shoulder 2 twice. That night, he called me said that I was wonderful and thank me for showing me good girl does exist! He said he wasn't sure about the relationship but he would def. like to hang out more.(He graduated that year and he lives 6 hours away now.) This one said "I LOVE U" to me before we went on our first date, he had seen me for a long long time. I realized that he didn't want a relationship actually then why he said "I Love U". So I was the one stopped talking to him and he called many times, I never picked up the phone.
THe way I act is not what u've thought from my post. I was writing what I was thinking straightly when I was really frustrated. I hope you understand it.T.T Thank you so much taking your time analyzing my case. I really really appreciate your help. I really do!

OK Now it sounds to me that you shouldn't complain about not getting second dates. :)

So, the first guy was interested in you and he was serious about it. I assume that he asked you out and you accepted, he planned the whole date and paied for everything, didn't he? He gave you flowers and you didn't even give him a hug. :( I also assume that you probably didn't know each other that much at that time or seems like it. It's unfortunate that he left for UK, but he will eventually come back, won't he? You say he had a very good impression about you, but you don't mention your impression about him. I think you should keep in touch with him and if you're interested in him, make it more obvious to him!

The second guy, he wanted to hang out more but you didn't give him the chance to. :( Why not? I'm sure he assumed you were not interested in him and I guess you weren't because he didn't want a relationship, so he didn't seem serious to you. It didn't work out. That's fine, but you still should've hanged out with him some more. You never know what comes along the way, and I see this as a lost opportunity.

I understand it can be disappointing at times, but you shouldn't be frustrated about this whole situation. You should maybe try to be less picky, yet stay true to yourself and to your values and don't avoid opportunities that come your way. Not everything is always perfect, but if you don't take any opportunity, you'll never know.

How come there is not a single normal, high queality guy?


Does this mean you've never met a guy who was quite impressive compared to others? Different from the others? Standing out from the crowd? Special somehow? In a good way, of course :p

I hope you DID!

Hm...how? I don't know how to flirt...^^ I feel it's bad to flirt,,,just can't do it.
I mentioned like " you look nice with the shirt"...:P what would u suggest me to do?
Thank you!:)

If you're too serious, you sure can't flirt. And if you think flirting is bad, you sure can't allow yourself to flirt.

Forget the world "flirting" and focus on "being playful". You say you have a good sense of humour. Being funny + being playful = bingo! :D It's true! Everybody likes that as serious as they can be!

Remember also that the way you say things is very important as well and sometimes more important than what you actually say.

Talaniman is right. It's exactly what I though after reading your question the first time. You need an older, confident and well established guy. :) And if you ever find a guy who won't be mortally afraid to ask you out and talk to you, PLEASE let me know. :rolleyes: They are SO SO rare...

well...I asked one of them if he was interested in a relationship after the first date, he said his life was in transition,blah,blah...would rather stay as friends...^^
he still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful...geez, I am confused
Should I say more to him?
Thank you SAB123~

How could he know for sure only after a first date? Plus, he had to go to university in UK... You asked him something that he probably wished he could answer on the spot, but was unable to.

I did, the two I went out with. I was irrational when I was writing this... sorry...
Thank you so much for your analysis. I hope the cambridge one comes back, but he's not sure yet. I didn't put that up on the post... that... in additioanl to my academic and leadership,I work 3 jobs while doing all my school work, I spend 25 hours working every week(40 summer), so everyone knows me as a busy bee. Do u think that might lead guys to think that I am too busy to date? I don't want to impress anyone here but I did do all these... U don't know how much I have to do to put myself through life. T.T. I work so hard so my grandma in Jap can have money to go to doctor... T.T

I am a very funny person, I make them laugh all the time. My personality is the key thing that made me a popular student at school, I had the highest votes at SGA election and Homecoming Queen Competittion. If I suck at personality, how come everyone is my friend? ppl like me coz I am free from drama and cool, willing to help ppl, and have funny jokes and her view of many things.maybe they see that I am too busy, but no matter how busy I am, I'd like to have accompany to inspire each other and do fun stuff together, who doesn't? Thank you again for your analysis, feel free to give me more advice, I really appreciate Huno!:)

So, you're very popular, very funny, always willing to help, everyone's friend, drama free, cool, tons of fun, etc etc but very busy.

Yet, are you also like this when it comes to dating? Or do you become a totally different person who's stuck on finding the perfect man who will say "no" to sex before marriage and who will be at least as great and wonderful as you, and rejecting all the others who don't seem to meet your standards? :rolleyes:

I think you are right, I am kinda serious, if I don't see the person I can marry in the future, I won't date him. It doesn't necessarily mean that I will marry this one, the thing is that I must see him somewhat close to my expection of my future husband. I can't just go out to have fun, I need to be responsible, if I am sure I won't marry someone like him, I won't even go out to him.

Having fun doesn't mean NOT being responsible.

Being irresponsible is not fun! :p Not in my opinion anyway.

I have to admit that... I am very picky when comes to dating. I am judgemental sometimes and I am overcautious and have lots of fear. I heard so many of my girl friends who have suffered from being hurt at a relationship... I do stuck on finding the perfect man who thinks similar as I do. Strong morals and great academic/leadership performance... during my last two dates, we had fun I made them laugh a lot. I am a sweet girl but I am really really bad at flirting.<-my best friend told me I think so too. I am not willing to do that. When you become a public image at school, you have to be careful with anything that you do. Because people watch you closely.If I want to maintain my leadership and reputation I have to be professional(kinda) all the time. I know it's tiring but I am already that far...

I read these posts and it's all about you. You, you, you. Your academic leadership, your jobs, you're funny, you have strong morals, etc. etc...

I am really trying not to be so hard on you, but it seems that you are all you think about.

Hun, let your hair down, throw caution to the wind... When you are not in school don't talk about it, don't think about it. When you are not at work, don't talk about it, don't think about it.

You need to be spontaneous, have some fun. And no, I don't mean sex.

You seem like you could be obsessive-compulsive. You don't know how to live... you have never learned how to live.

Have you ever considered counseling? If not, you may want to give it some very serious thought.

95 posts now and it is all about you and how wonderful you are. You see, many people think that this is very conceited, self-centered.

Go to a bar, have a drink or two dance, laugh, have fun. Maybe, just maybe someone will see you for who you really are.

I read these posts and it's all about you. You, you, you. Your academic leadership, your jobs, you're funny, you have strong morals, etc. etc.....

I am really trying not to be so hard on you, but it seems that you are all you think about.

Hun, let your hair down, throw caution to the wind....When you are not in school don't talk about it, don't think about it. When you are not at work, don't talk about it, don't think about it.

You need to be spontaneous, have some fun. And no, I don't mean sex.

You seem like you could be obsessive-compulsive. You don't know how to live...you have never learned how to live.

Have you ever considered counseling? If not, you may want to give it some very serious thought.

95 posts now and it is all about you and how wonderful you are. You see, many people think that this is very conceited, self-centered.

Go to a bar, have a drink or two dance, laugh, have fun. Maybe, just maybe someone will see you for who you really are.

I agree with J_9. It's exactly what I meant when I said that you seem to be full of yourself, but you kind of denied it.

We don't know you, but from your posts here, including the title, we can see that it's all about you and in your head, it's all "me, me, me" and nobody's as good as me. I wouldn't lower my standards for anyone, for any reason. If nothing's as good, it's not worth it. Right?

I feel bad for the guy who gave you the flowers. I'm not sure you really showed your appreciation.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am being honest and I hope you'll consider it because perhaps you're not aware of it. Nobody wants someone who's full of themselves. In addition to this, you're extremely busy.

Also, you are not perfect. Nobody is. Can you please try to tell us a few things that are NOT so perfect about you?

Is there anyone in your life whom you consider greater and more wonderful than you?

Have you ever taken the time to meet someone, listen to them, get to know them, and discover that they are amazing in their own way without thinking they're not worth your time?

She is not centering on complimenting herself. There are just different love values among us. Some of you think a love relationship is mainly about fun and relax. But she has a more serious attitude towards her life. She apparently values all the virtues in a fair-tale, the goodness of a pure and kind girl like Cinderella. She is right to keep this way. I am sure she will have a happy life with her future husband forever. There are many partners in America having fun, through a date or through sex. But some of them have already divorced. Sincerity and purity in love is a luxurious wish in this society. There must be some very excellent person who devotes his love to this girl some day.

I think Incognito nailed it. I am willing to bet that guys feel intimidated by your intelligence and ambition. Not that all guys like spinny dumb girls, but I believe there is something primal in guys that make them want to be "provider and protector of the woman". Seeing an intelligent, ambitious female probably makes them a little insecure. Have no fear however. Therer are enlightened members of the male species that have gotten past these primeval ideas. Give it time, you will find the right one for you.

I have to admit that...I am very picky when comes to dating.

And that, my dear, is why you're still single. Not that there's anything wrong with being single. However, it seems almost as if you feel the need to add "dating" or "being in a (committed yet platonic) relationship" to your accomplishments.

It is my case, I am talking about me, only me; it's my case and I want to get more answers than just from the people I know. When I help other members on this website, I listen and read what they say carefully and post things that really helps them. I never belittle ppl's ambition and achievement. I do try hard in life, while people are partying drinking, dating... I am studying more,volunteering and contributing myself to the student organization. I am exactly like what I have described, and people at school who knows me will say the same thing about me. My problem is that I haven't found or heard of any guy that can get over with my being myself-Being a hard worker and dedicated person and a faithful girl who won't put out and keeps her purity. I start to wonder how come guys around me are so intimated by me? Is that all guys are like that? If I tell you I actually attend one of the IVY LEAGUES and currently work for GE will you be more angry about me? Think I stuck up? If you check the website-Rotary International -the largest non profit org. in the world and find my pic is there as an honored volunteer will you still think I am full of myself? There are many of us who did have done a lot to society and build themselves as excellent as they can and have no time to talk about themselves, so I decide to ask people (ppl all over the places)through ASKMEEHLPDESK, getting a reasonable idea and statistics on if "Therer are enlightened members of the male species that have gotten past these primeval ideas" with a girl like me?
Thank you!

You are still single because you didn't find the right guy yet.When you see a guy your brain will know that guy, just take a vacation and you will find that guy maybe.Or take a love match on the internet like the old fashion way.And if when you first see this guy you will get a excited feeling in your stomach.Ok

The bottom line is to always be yourself, and be happy with who you, are and sooner or later, some one will want to share it with you. Try to have a little fun along the way though.

I know where are you coming from. I personally think that you won't actually meet those right ones until you get out and spend time in the real world long enough. A more established man will be there for you eventually. I think you have all the qualifications to meet a wonderful and successful man!
Good luck nicespringgirl!:)

I am Asian-American also and am currently in college for my nursing degree. Many men do want a woman such as yourself but are intimidated to appoach. My boyfriend felt the same way when he first saw me. But he decided to take a chance. When the time is right, there will be a man with enough courage to approach and talk to you. If he is the right one for you, there may be a blooming relationship. If not, try not to be so discouraged. The problem may not be you at all, it may be the mans. Unfortunately, not all men want a successful and beautiful woman. It sometimes plays off their egos in a negative way and if she is beautiful, they worry about other men coming on to their women. Which ends up offering an opportunities to cheat. Some men don't like that (possibly due to self-esteem issues). So hang in there. The right man will come.

Yep, they do worry about other men coming on to their women! It's intimidating!
And I think she is problly an independent lady too, so she problly doesn't really need a man to help her in any way. So nicespringgril, just hang in there, the right one will come to you envantually!:)

Hey everybody, time for this chick to get Zooped up!!

Here's the deal, you could be the most beautiful girl in the world, be the smartest girl in the world but if your boring (not saying you are) then all that will mean jack when it comes to dating.

Now lets face facts, as much as these dudes seemed to like you the truth is they were'nt willing to go on a second date with you, have you ever thought of asking why?

You say you are an independent lady but are you too independent? Sometimes that can come across as arrogance and men will pick up on that, maybe you don't mean to send that vibe but its out there none the less.

I think you need to step back for a second and realise that you are young and you only live once, why not make the most of it, enjoy life for a while, go with the flow and see what happens. Loosen up a bit and the guys will a come a knocking to get you rockin!!

hey everybody, time for this chick to get Zooped up!!!!

Zooped up? :D

hey everybody, time for this chick to get Zooped up!!!!

heres the deal, you could be the most beautiful girl in the world, be the smartest girl in the world but if your boring (not sayin you are) then all that will mean jack when it comes to dating.

Now lets face facts, as much as these dudes seemed to like you the truth is they were'nt willing to go on a second date with you, have you ever thought of asking why?

You say you are an independant lady but are you too independant? sometimes that can come across as arrogance and men will pick up on that, maybe you dont mean to send that vibe but its out there none the less.

I think you need to step back for a second and realise that you are young and you only live once, why not make the most of it, enjoy life for a while, go with the flow and see what happens. Loosen up a bit and the guys will a come a knockin to get you rockin!!!!

Hi Hun~How was last night?;) did I get u zooped up?:p

You said you're Asian. Maybe people find you tricky. Like that boy in the Goonies. He was always setting booby traps.

You said you're Asian. Maybe people find you tricky. Like that boy in the Goonies. He was always setting booby traps.

Lol, u don't like asians?? :rolleyes:

You said you're Asian. Maybe people find you tricky. Like that boy in the Goonies. He was always setting booby traps.

What about Asians? What's the thing?

What about Asians? What's the thing?

Hi, you are back, myfriend!:D

hi, u r back, myfriend!:D

Lol hi, back just for a little while :D

lol hi, back just for a little while :D

Yea? U think that dude Sameoldsituation doesn't like asians? I think he problly has problems with asians,lol:D

yea? u think that dude Sameoldsituation doesn't like asians? I think he problly has problems with asians,lol:D

His choice... but if he doesn't, he should at least have a good reason. :confused: :rolleyes:

His choice... but if he doesn't, he should at least have a good reason. :confused: :rolleyes:

Anyway, I don't think this guy is my type!:p what do u think? :rolleyes:

Anyway, I don't think this guy is my type!:p what do u think??:rolleyes:

Humm.. No clue. :rolleyes: Why are you asking?

I bet it's cause huno's taken? :D

humm.. No clue. :rolleyes: Why are you asking?

I bet it's cause huno's taken?! :D

Aw... u r putting salt on my cut,, :( but I still have zoopara, where he is at now?? :confused:
But I tell what-sameoldsituantion souns like a jerk, beaware, my friend!:D

I am glad you realize that too,LOL.

aw...u r putting salt on my cut,,,:( but i still have zoopara, where he is at now???:confused:
but i tell what-sameoldsituantion souns like a jerk, beaware, my friend!:D

:D Funny you

You kind of sound like the older future version of me except I'm italian and white. Lol but honestly if there is such a thing as "soulmates" or my fave saying "star crossed lovers" then he will come to you. I have never had a boyfriend either and I am almost 15 in a few days. I think I will be single forever, because the guys I like are too popular for me I don't know what to do so I have my own problems lol I love celebs like zac efron so I want a guy like that but everybody I like is so out of my league I mean I'm not ugly or fat but I don't know I'm just shy and a good girl like u. so us good girls need to stick together. Haha one day your prince will come trust me!

You kinda sound like the older future version of me except im italian and white. lol but honestly if there is such a thing as "soulmates" or my fave saying "star crossed lovers" then he will come to you. i have never had a bf either and i am almost 15 in a few days. i think i will be single forever, because the guys i like are too popular for me i dont kno what to do so i have my own problems lol i love celebs like zac efron so i want a guy like that but everybody i like is so out of my league i mean im not ugly or fat but i dont kno im just shy and a good gurl like u. so us good gurls need to stick together. haha one day ur prince will come trust me!

Lately I've noticed this trend in your posts... you seem to think that because you're 15 and you've never had a boyfriend, you're doomed to grow old alone and live with a bunch of cats. Not that there's anything wrong with that... cats make nice pets.

You're FIFTEEN. You're a friggin' child still! There's just soooooooooooooooooo much time ahead that you really shouldn't think about this right now. A guy will come along... hell, LOTS of guys will come along. Just give it some more time.

Yeah, but you also have to realize our days are numberd, our lives can end at any moment, LIVE EVERDAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST, plus Gods coming soon, so be ready.

yeah, but you also have to realize our days are numberd, our lives can end at any moment, LIVE EVERDAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST, plus Gods coming soon, so be ready.

... :rolleyes: It doesn't mean we should date as kids, get married as soon as possible, have a family at 15, just to make sure that we did it all before everything ends. Absolutely not! It's just ridiculous.

I know I know, but when you look back at your life you shouldn't be like dam I should have done this or that, you want to be like I took care of this and that, no regrets, nothing left unsaid, you know what I'm saying

Well, if your so wonderful, doesn't that mean that it should take longer, because an equally wonderful guy is meant for you? And they are in shorter supply maybe?
No need to worry about it peoples, there's someone out there meant for you, and you will find them. You can't not find them, its fate, its love. Just be patient. They will come at the right time, the right place, the right person.
Remember, each one that turns you down, is like when your tossing the little fish back into the ocean, so you can wait for the big fish to come along. So each heartbreak, each rejection, is just narrowing it down for you.

Keep it simple, work at what you enjoy and have a great time with your life until someone comes to share it with you. Then when the kids are gone, and the grands are sleep you hug your partner and your very happy with what you've done, and still have just enough left to have a good time, when the grands go home.

I know but I am worried because I can have many regrets if I don't do certain things like I haven't been to a dance at my high school either I don't know

R must be surrounded by nerds that don't know how to get a chick!:D
Don't worry someone will be coming to the Princess!

R must be surrounded by nerds that don't know how to get a chick!:D
Don't worry someone will be coming to the Princess!
:D I have nothing against nerds, they are cool people, try hard to be socialized, I'd like to find them some nice girls.
Lately couple guys contacted me, a good sign;) I have learned to take things easy and don't scare guys away now, thank you "askmehelpdesk".:)

Your personal message inbox is full. You need to delete something to free up some space.

It's hard to imagine what you could be doing right or wrong without sort of listening to the conversation or watching your body language. I would suggest picking up a couple of those books on dating 101. Men love a challenge too. Don't give them too much of you too soon. They really don't have to know your feelings about pre-marital sex or marriage on the first date. Enjoy casual conversation and keep it really light. The sexiest woman to a man is the one who's relaxed and not overly concerned with him being 'the one'. Do you have a gym or club or someplace you enjoy all by yourself. You might meet someone great there who has a lot in common with you . Don't look for him. Be willing to have some great male friends (they often stick around without pushing for sex or a relationship for up to 6 months - sometimes longer). Mr. Right will show up.
Good Luck!