I have three children and one of which has ADHD. All my children are struggling in school and are always needing my help with homework.

I finished my Associates in Science degree in Dec 06 at a local community college with a 3.87 gpa. I am currently a premed major and plan to either go to medical school or go for a master's degree in biology, after I achieve my BS degree. The university I will transfer to in the fall 07 is one hour from my home, one way! I will have classes from 8am to 5:30pm on most days. I am the first in my family to go to college and complete a degree. I am the only one in my family that plans to pursue past an Associates degree. I believe that education in important and I want to instill the importance into my children also. I want to set an example for them. No one ever mentioned college when I was growing up, so I didn't think about education after high school until I started thinking about my own children's future.

I took this semester off school to get my house in order. My children were as big a mess as my house! Grades were falling, personal hygiene wasn't important, and their behavior was very disrespectful, so I made the choice to stay home for one semester. We moved into our home this past summer and we still had boxes full, I needed to take care of my home and children. Now I have college friends and professors calling me to make sure I am planning to attend school in the Fall, which I do. But should I?

Here is my issue... Should I pursue my education or stay home with my children?

I am only looking for opinions or personal experiences.

My husband makes good money, so we can afford for me to stay home. There isn't a hurry for me to work, if I want. Actually, my husband wants me to stay home and not work or attend school... we have had many fights over me going to school.

My children don't like the idea of me going to school so far away and not being able to take them to and from school. I have always been able to arrange my schedule to match theirs until now. My children's grades are now improving, but it is with constant nagging from me for them to study.

I have finally got into a routine at home and am somewhat happy with it. It took me awhile to adapt, but it is nice having some freedom during the day. I want an education! But should I wait?

Am I neglecting my children and possibly hindering their academic future by chasing my own?
Am I sheltering my children too much by staying home and monitoring their every movement?

I must also add that, if I go on to college my children will have to return to public school, because we can't afford both tuitions. The public school system horrible and not by academics! My children attended public school here for 3 weeks before I took them out! My 5th grade girl had to sit between two boys talking about how they were going to rape one of the girls in class. My 4th grade girl was bullied everyday and petrified to go to school. My 2nd grader was shoved in the road by another student. And when I met with the principle to discuss the matter... She met me with cut off jean shorts and a tshirt... She rolled her eyes and told me that my kids were lying. She didn't care and wouldn't listen!! Should I send my children back to a school like this?

What would you do?

PLUS... I can't attend on a part time basis, because there is a time limit between when you take certain classes and when you attend masters programs. It is an all or nothing deal.

I am no expert in any of this, but I feel you should pursue your education and hire a tutor/caretaker for the kids for after school. Put an add a local paper. Offer whatever you and your husband feel is fair, and have a tutor work with your kids everyday right after school until you get home. (Make sure the person is patient and able to handle children with ADD.) Then when you get home, the work is done and you and the kids can have some fun together. (Of course you'll want to check over their accomplishments and gush in front of them!) It may not be ideal, but you could give it a shot and allow the kids a chance to adjust to it. If it doesn't work out you can always stay home then.

Thank you, vlee! Tutor, good idea.

I think going to school is great. It is important to show your children that there is more than one solution to a problem, and that education is a serious goal. Maybe sometimes you could all do your homework together! You could help your kids study for a test, and they could help you use flashcards to study for yours. You aren't going to be a "bad" parent for wanting to continue your education. If anything, I think it shows sheer determination, and I can see from your post that it is important to you, but I can also see it is not more important than your kids. Let us know how it goes.

Education is very important... not only that but you are setting and example for your children. I am a mother also, and I am also a full time student. It is hard not seeing my son everyday.. all day but I know in the end that it is going to work out. You have to follow your dream.. becuase if you don't you are going to resent the people that stopped you from accomplishing your dream. Hold your head up high. You are doing a great job as a parent.. and I can tell that you love your children very much. I think that the sitter/tutor is an excellent idea.

Couldn't you try it for one semester? If the tutor idea works, and everyone (the children, your husband, and you) are pleased then I say continue. If any one of the three are not pleased with how things are turing out, maybe you need to work out something different.

I think it is wonderful that you are going to college. I wish I could. I am the mother of 1 and I stay at home with her. She doesn't have any special needs or anything like that. I can see why you are questioning what to do. I guess I would just have to say they are only little once. They will be gone before you know it. And you don't get a "do - over".
If you have seen an improvement since you started staying home - could they backslide once you go back to school? And judging from what you have said about the public school - I would not send them back their. A tutor would be great if you are going to go back yourself.
If you can make both work - then great.
Good Luck

Oh boy, here I go again. If you can afford it then I don't see why you shouldn't finish your education after they go to school. They are your first priority and they are already struggling. I am here afrter school, the kids get their stuff done, including chores and homework. I don't work them to death but I try to instill a little responsibility. Education is very important, yes, but so are your kids. I agree with your husband, take care of yourself after you have taken care of the priorities. Not meaning you won't ever get a break or get a day of pampering, I mean real life stuff. YOUR CHILDREN. This is my opinion and I have said it many times, parents need to be parents. I would bet those kids are in love with you and you being there makes this very hard world look a little better to them. You sound like a great mom. It is a hard job, I know. Just going to the bathroom by myself seems like a struggle some days. They will love you for being there, and they will learn great things from you and not some dimwit trying to teach them their views. Good luck!

Thank you all for some encouraging words!

I talked to my husband about the tutor/ after school care idea, he didn't like it? Like I said before, he doesn't like the idea of me continuing my education. He says it cost too much and I should just be here or they are "big" enough to stay by themselves for a few hours. I don't agree with the staying alone too much. I think children should not come home to an empty house! Even though he stayed home alone some as a child, it was in the 70's and 80's... this world is a lot more ugly then it was then.

I really think your decision is in your gut. You probably know what that is. You sound like a wonderful mom, and he sounds like a great dad!

May I ask what are the ages of your children? Are they in elementary school? Junior high? Is it money that concerns your husband? Is it the kids? Or is it that you won't "need" him if you earn more? Lots of things in the mix, and I'd bet it's a combo of all of them. Keep talking it out, and if it is important to you, make sure he is aware. It won't work out either way if you don't support one another. Are you able to take any on-line courses? Or go to school part-time? Maybe you tow could find a way to compromise. Another question, does your husband help with the kids? Sounds like you've been running like a wild woman to go to school and be home for them... does he help you out?

My husband is not the children's biological dad, but he has adopted them and has been a constant in their lives for 6 yrs. He does not have any bio children himself, so he can be a little childish himself with the children... don't tell him I said that... lol! He does try sometimes, but it pretty much ends up be handling everything! The children will not follow him and he comes to me whining that they aren't listening... I get stuck in the middle of a childish he said, she said. It is easier for me to handle it!

My husband is also terrified of being broke. I really don't know why, because his parents were always well off finacially. He doesn't want to spend money on child care, because he feels it isn't necessary. He wants me just to stay here and handle it all.

My husband also fears that I will find some handsome young guy and run away with him! Pure male ego there! Lol

My children are in 2nd through 5th grade.

I have thought about online, but there is nothing for biology majors. Part-time is difficult too, because most classes have labs that last for 4 or 5 hours. Which defeats the purpose, because they run after or before school hours. I did think about changing my major, but I truly enjoy and understand science!

I am in a pickle, huh? Lol

No, but you are in need of a little more support. Do you have relatives nearby who could help with the kids a few days a week? I think you and your husband need to have a serious adult discussion... he adopted your children, and I imagine he loves them very much, but a big part of being a parent is presenting a united front at all times. So there should never be any situation that arise between himself and the kids that requires your mediation. And it is very unfair for him to ask you not to pursue your dream until he feels financially secure enough. That day may never come. The money you could earn post degree would surely be beneficial to your family.

I don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but it sounds to me like your husband is quite insecure. He isn't able to extract himself from situations with the kids and make adult decisions and he has fears of you abandoning him. Could your inevitable financial independence be threatening to him? Sure, if he thinks you are looking to "upgrade" somehow. Long, long conversations are in order here, and if you don't feel you can get him engaged and really listening to you, ask him to go to counseling with you. Marriage counseling isn't just a last ditch effort for failing marriages. In fact, it works a lot better if you try it out before anyone feels the resentment that not communicating well can cause. It's another avenue to consider.

WOW, vlee, you made some good points! Are you sure your not a counselor yourself? You hit the nail on the head about the above statement about my husband. He is insecure! We have talked some more and he seems to be a lot better about the idea of me going to school, but he doesn't want to invest too much in it. My fear is that he will behave like he did when I originally started college 3 yrs ago. If he knew I had a test the next day, he would start a fight with me to keep me from studying. I know IMMATURE! I managed to Ace almost all my classes with studying replaced with fighting! BUT I don't know if I could manage at a University with him behaving like this?
**I did stop telling him about my test too! It helped. Lol

It is funny you mentioned family nearby, because we just moved away from the family and I want to go back! So as of now, no family to help! I do have 8 siblings and some will help, but now it is just too far to drive.

Thank you whiteladybug. I appreciate your kindness. I am not a counselor... but I think I have a knack for being able to understand plenty about other people's situations... if only I could translate it into my own life! Actually, I intend to return to school for social services or a medical profession once my youngest attends school. I just find people far more fascinating than anything else on earth.

I think your husband is more afraid that your success will mean he has failed to make you feel secure. Men often have the mentality that they expected to be the "providers" for their families. It can be difficult for a husband to accept the wife is able to earn a substantial or higher amount of money, especially if he has been the breadwinner in the past. That isn't rational, but it is normal. Your husband probably needs reassurance that this venture isn't just for you, that it will benefit your entire family. Let him know you aren't doing this so you can be better than him, you are doing this so you feel like you are pulling your own weight, and so your children can depend on both of you financially. Make sure you let him know he is loved and adored, but make it clear this is important for your family and for your own self esteem. After all, everyone feels more comfortable when they can hold an educated discussion about something, no matter what it is. Tell him you need his support and understanding. And Girl, Go Get What Is Yours For The Taking! It isn't wrong to want to improve your life or lifestyle, so ask him to have some faith in you. I believe you can do it.

Thank you, vlee, for your ideas and input. I will be using some of your ideas with my husband!

But I think I might be having second thoughts about attending school now? I think I should wait maybe a year, to make sure all is well at home? I don't know if I have let my hubby get to my head or if I just want to? I know I am needed!

Remember Ladybug-

Do what makes you happy. If you don't it could affect all the other aspects of your life.

With the exception of the public school your kids have to go to, I think you should go to school. You've spent so much time on everyone else, it's time for you. It's only for a few years, and think of the benefits for your kids when you're done! Your family needs to stop being do selfish and support you. Take out an equity loan or something to help pay for the private school if it's that bad... but don't feel guilty. Your kids are old enough to start helping out by making their own lunches, cleaning up after themselves, etc. to make things easier for you. I've worked my butt off to get through school- it took me a little longer than most because I had two children, but now they are proud of me and I can afford to buy them clothes! DO it! Seize the Day! GOod luck!

I honestly feel that your children and husband are not being selfish. You only have a few years to be there for them. Why not wait? I think you would be glad you did. School will always be there, your children won't. I wouldn't miss being here after school for anything. At the same time, I can't wait to get started in the work force when they are grown. That is a very, very easy time to get into trouble. Whether it be bad choice of friends, sex, drugs, or just plain getting into stuff that they shouldn't. Even with the best of rules, kids don't always follow them, and they don't always tell you if they did or not. This is just my opinion though! Good luck with your decision. Didn't you say you took a semester off to fix things. What do you think is going to happen when you go back to school? Probably the same thing. Enjoy being there while you can, that is what I think. I am not saying that you aren't important. (just to make that clear to everyone) There are things you can do to make yourself happy and feel adequate and still be with the kids until they leave for their own lives.

At the end of the day it isn't going to matter what any of us thinks... it has to be your decision. Every person is different and has different needs and desires. Some families function better with both parents actively working or pursuing education. Others don't. Not everyone is content to stay home with their kids, and not everyone is happy being apart from them if they don't have to be. I hope you and your husband work it out together, whatever you decide to do.

I want to thank everyone for their opinions, experiences, and ideas, they have all been helpful! I do have a lot to consider in my decision and this is a hard choice for me to make. I feel like I am choosing between my family and myself sometimes. Sometimes, hearing other people's opinions is helpful and yes, hearing from all you was helpful to me!

Startover22, I can understand your opinion about having babies and staying home, but today it isn't easy. Society expects so much out of women these days! I feel inadequate if I am "just a stay at home mom." I know my job is meaningful to my family, but to the outside world, I am viewed as lazy. Lazy, haha, a stay at home mommy is far from lazy, well at least this one is! Growing up, mostly all women in my family and my friends family stayed home, but now everyone works! All my friends and all my family! I am the only one at home, but I am also the only one that has a husband with a good job that can afford for me to. I think that sometimes I am hard on myself to over achieve at everything I do, whether it is home life, school, or work. I feel that I must get my BS in two years, WHY? I don't know? But like you said, Kids aren't around forever!

Well, I kind of knew you were very torn with the choices you needed to make. I also have to say that I am anything but lazy. Who ever is telling you that tell them to zip it up and try it on for size. Although my husband does let me sleep until the very last minute. I have been busy for 13 years, only 15 more to go and I can't wait to wake up one day and find myself in a whole new world, with a job and lot's of extra time with my husband! I hope you do well in what ever you do! Good luck and keep us posted on what you plan to do. I will be anxious to hear about it!!

I forgot to say that what the outside world says, means nothing, what your family needs is SOMETHING!!

I honestly feel that your children and husband are not being selfish. You only have a few years to be there for them. Why not wait? I think you would be glad you did. School will always be there, your children won't. I wouldn't miss being here after school for anything. At the same time, I can't wait to get started in the work force when they are grown. That is a very, very easy time to get into trouble. Whether it be bad choice of friends, sex, drugs, or just plain getting into stuff that they shouldn't. Even with the best of rules, kids don't always follow them, and they don't always tell you if they did or not. This is just my opinion though! Good luck with your decision. Didn't you say you took a semester off to fix things. What do you think is going to happen when you go back to school? Probably the same thing. Enjoy being there while you can, that is what I think. I am not saying that you aren't important. (just to make that clear to everyone) There are things you can do to make yourself happy and feel adequate and still be with the kids until they leave for their own lives.
I don't think any of us do not feel the same way about our own children, but what kind of mom can you be if you don't have a little "me" time? And the dad IS being very selfish telling her he wants her to stay home and not get an education! This is 2007, not 1957 hubby. (Not the kids- they naturally are resistant to change and wanting their mom is not a bad thing, but they will adjust.) Sounds like she just needs to do something for herself now, and when she has it will make her an even better mom:)

I just thought I'd let you know, I am a stay at home mom... the only one I know. Of course I adore my children, but I don't intend to be a stay at home mom until they graduate high school. This is my solution for while they are very small and least independent. But once they are both in a full day of school, I intend to return to school myself. I sure don't feel it is selfish, and I certainly don't love my kids any less than the next mom. Having children does not mean you have to put your own goals on hold for nearly two decades. It means finding a way to balance things, and learning to juggle a bit. Choosing to work or attend school is not a waste of time just because a mother has kids. Just as staying home with your kids is not laziness or lack of motivation to work. What I am trying to say is there is nothing wrong with either choice.

Just an anacdotal story to help all of you HARD working moms!

When I was in college there was a woman there who had 5 kids. All in school, ranging from 2nd grade to 10th grade. Her husband had just up and left her about a year before. She was working full time, going to school (carrying 12 credits) and taking care of her 5 kids. Her kids were wonderful, the oldest helped out quite a bit. But, on graduation day, all of them were so proud of their mother. It was amazing to see.

I have no idea how she kept everything straight for school and her job. Not to mention the kids and the downfall of her marriage. Whenever I think things are tough for me, I think of her. She is an amazing woman. And an excellent rolemodel to her children.

I say if you have the drive, the will, and the ambition, nothing will slow you down.

I stay at home also. When the choice was made - a lot of my friends asked me "won't you get bored?" or say things like "that would drive me crazy being home all day."
I was busier (in the begining) than I had ever been at a paying job. Sometimes now, the walls do start to close in and I get really tired of vacuuming - but I know that when my daughter needs me - I am there. I have the freedom to be an involved parent at her school - I can help when needed and have a lot of flexibilty. I wouldn't trade it.
I have thought about going back to the workforce now that she is in school all day - but I feel like I would be giving up so much. And of course, the workforce doesn't welcome you back with open arms after being "MIA" for almost 7 years. I always thought I would go to school and do something that counted - something I could be proud of if I was going to be away from the home - life stepped in and said No - so that part of my life is on hold - but - for me- that is o.k. for now.
I think the decision would be a hard one - me or my kids/family - if we had the money to put me through school - I don't know that I wouldn't be in the same situation. I think in this situation though, you will know almost instantly if you made the right choice. I mean, if you go back to school and the kids continue to thrive - then great, if they backslide - then not so great.

I went to work after my first one was 6 months old... it was a financial necessity, but also, I was young and impatient, and not the best stay at home mom. I decided to go back to work also because I didn't have to use daycare, I had family that watched her. But after two years of working I missed her so much! I arranged my work schedule around her as much as possible, and never missed a mommy and me class or preschool. But after my second was born I was a lot better at the mom thing. I had a better handle on my life and a new view of things. I have been home ever since. I feel conflicted about it. I know it's great for my kids, and they are doing so well, but I feel guilty that my husband is the sole provider and that the kids are so much closer to me than to him. While I intend to return to school in 3-4 years I don't regret any of the choices I have made. When my first was born I wasn't prepared to be a stay at home mom. But now that I am a little older and more practiced, I actually enjoy it. I am here from the first flicker of their eyelids in the morning until their final yawn at night. I love them deeply and I know more about them than anyone on this planet, but I still have other goals too. Of course I would never choose anything above my children, but if they can make the adjustment, I will go for it.

Thanks for the support startover. It isn't easy admitting that I wasn't naturally a perfect stay at home mom at first, but it is the truth. I feel so much more capable now. And I think the break I took from being home after my first probably was the best thing for her at the time. Now I am glad to be able to be here with her, because we can make the most of every minute and we are so very close. She has a diary, and I have told her it is for her private thoughts and feelings, things she doesn't have to share. She is forever coming to me to tell me she wrote in it, then proceeds to tell me what it says! It feels good to be the first person my kids want when they are hurt or sick, or scared. I love that I can help them with a hug and a kiss. But she is growing too, and alas, has friends and a slew of activities after school. It seems she has less time for me these days... (sigh). But it is amazing to watch her grow.

That's what I am talking about. Nice job on the diary, I love hearing what my daught writes in hers too. (when she writes in it) hahaha. She is a good girl and my only one, all of my kids have about a ten minute tuck in time to tell me their thoughts, sometimes it runs into an hour, but hey I love it when it does. I like being here after school, only because I think that it is a hard time for kids to make the right decisions, homework, house work, or playing outside. They don't always need a push in the right direction, but sometimes they do. I can't help them with the real issues over the phone, you know? I like to see their face when they are talking I love seeing them do good things, and I hope to be here when something goes wrong so I can help. My husband has been supportive of that, not pushy of that. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I wish more people could see it in a different way, just because this is 2007, doesn't mean we can't be home doing exactly what our kids need us to do. BECAUSE it is 2007 it is more needed! That's my take, kids can't take care of themselve as much as people think they can.

I wonder if the disintegration of family units is related to most families not having a stay at home parent. Not that it is always necessary, but it seems incredibly important for young children. (I am defining young from birth to maybe 10 years old.) It just seems that since families became financially supported by two parents, there is a lack of discipline and expectations for children. Maybe since no one is home all day, they don't want the role of the evil disciplinarian... they want to be loved and adored without the tension "parenting" can bring? Just a thought. I just know that I tend to make my kids tow the line and I don't let things slide. My husband on the other hand, who is here all of 3.5 hours after work and before the kids go to bed, lets them get away with much more. I think it is the lack of time he spends with them that makes him want to make them happy more than he wants to discipline.

Completely right. They feel like they don't get enough time so it means they don't want to be the "bad guy"...

WOW, I miss a day and this discussion really took off! Haha But I like it!

I don't know who said what because I read so much, but everyone made good points.

I think that having moms out of the home and into the work force has put a hurting on the children. Even though I am all for women making this world great by working, I do think that we as a nation have suffered. Children are disrespectful to elders, because they aren't expected to be respectful to their parents. Children are spoiled with material things and they feel that they somehow deserve these things. Parents are too busy working to make their children be respectful and they feel guilty for not having time with their children, so they buy them stuff. Most of the children now days are "expecting" something for nothing and I don't want my children to think that way! When kids know that no one is watching, because they are too busy, who knows what they will do? Scary!

Now there are many parents that both work and have very well behaved children, because somehow they manage to work it out. They are much better at multi tasking than I am apparetly?

As far as me and my issue here... I like to get off topic a little... It took me 3 yrs to get a two year degree and I went all year long... Fall, spring, and summer. My children have spent summer vacation stuck at home with the baby sitter, because Mama is taking two advanced chemistry classes from 8 am to 3pm Monday - Friday. That isn't right!
The semester after that summer chemistry, my children were all starving for attention from me. That Fall is when my son started giving me a lot of problems with school and his ADHD. I started the fall semester with 15hrs and I was busy with studying and children, but I can handle that... I thought! Then I started getting calls during class hours from my son's teacher because of his behavior. Soon I was withdrawed from all my classes, because he needed a lot of my attention. By spring semester everything was better with my son at school, so I signed myself back up for a full load (12hrs). Within a month I had withdrawed from all my classes again and even took my son out and homeschooled him for 2 months. He did great! My son did fine when he knew I was there to give him the proper attention he needed, whether it was good or bad.

This past semester I only needed two classes to get my AS degree, so I took three... 1 online. When problems started with school, this time with all my children, I took them all out and homeschooled them for the whole semester. But this time I didn't drop my classes, I took them with me to college for two hours three days a week. This is what it took for me to get my degree and I did it!

I don't want to go through all this again! I don't want my children to be dependent of me, but I don't want them to feel like I am not there for them either. My children understand how important I feel education and I don't doubt they will go on to college later in life. "What college do you want to go to and why?" is a weekly discussion in this house. I have the children research college and universities and degrees & majors. I want to them to know and understand their opinions, so when the time comes for college, they aren't clueless! Like I was and most other people. My children my still be confused, but they will know their options when the time comes.

I have done a lot of thinking over this whole subject and I think I have decided to stay home. I enjoy my freedom! I like being able to go to the kids school if they need me or for activities. I like being able to pick them up after school and dropping them off with kisses in the morning. Why am I wanting to rush off to work if my husband wants me to stay home and him go and tackle the world? Yes, more money would be nice, but at the expense of my children... Is it really worth it? We have everything we need and we have each other! We are happy now. When I was in school it was total choas in my home and with my children.

I think I will stay home! At least for now.

I am happy you have made a decision, and I support it. If this is what you feel is best for your family, then this is what you need to do. I think you should be really proud of yourself for completing you Associates Degree under those circumstances. It was a difficult feat. I wish you luck with your children and future education.

I think I will stay home!! At least for now.
Good for you. College classes will always be there, but your children are with you for such a short time--or so it seems when it's over. I speak from experience.

Thank everyone for their support. You all are great!

I wanted to add that I am not completely giving up on education all together, but, for now, I am changing my perspective. I think everyone needs to learn or try something new to keep their minds fresh and alert. So I am thinking about taking time and learning new task such as: sewing, cooking, painting, volunteering, scrapbooking, soduko (don't know if I spelled it right, but everyone is crazy about it, so I learn it), etc. All these things can keep my mind working while I stay home and take care of my own while they are still here with me. I always wanted to learn how to sew, etc, but never had the time, because of school, home, and husband. I can spend as little or as much time on these projects as I want or can, no deadlines or structure. I think this may be a good opportunity to open doors to new experiences for me and my family. My daughter has been wanting to learn to sew, so we can do it together!

I will still continue my education on a professional level when the children are able to stand alone. I tell my children that "if you fall as a child, I am here to help you back up, but if you fall as an adult, you fall alone." What I mean by this is... I will do my best as a mother to help you up from your mistakes as a child, I will be here to teach you the way the best I can as a child, but I can't always do that when you are an adult. I only have one chance to make good responsible adults out of my children and that time is now!

I haven't told my family about my decision yet, I want to make sure this is my choice before I tell them and then change my mind... They would be broken. I don't think I will change my mind, but I want to make sure.

I also wanted to add... Someone said something earlier... a story about a woman with 5 children, working, divorce, and school... That was one brave woman! She is an amazing woman. I know that staying home can put me at risk of having nothing if I was to go through a divorce. I think that is one thing that made me keep going through school thus far. I have been divorced twice and both times left with nothing but my children. The exs didn't pay child support and I couldn't keep a job, like I got paid much anyhow. It was really hard! I lived in the project, fed my children off food stamps, and cleaned my grandmother's house for money for diapers, but I was never discouraged. I knew there would be more to my life. I knew in my heart that it would get better. I got lucky though and met my husband which provided us with all our needs and most our wants. He was a true gift from God for us! Yes, we have our disagreements and misunderstanding, but he took us under his wind and loved us from day one. But if he was to divorce me tomorrow, honestly, I don't kknow what I would do, but I do know that it would be okay. I have my children and God on my side and everything will be okay!

Everyone, Thank you for your responses, comments, and suggestions. I have truly enjoyed this discussion. It has gave me a lot of insights to a lot of your lives and feeling toward your children. It is amazing how children effect our lives! Whether you work, go to school, or stay home I can tell that all you love your children and are doing what is best for them to the best of your knowledge. You all are good parents! Keep it up! Good parenting is a unique quality in today society and we all are unique!