I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(but I don't have any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frustrated and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted this BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, chocolates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

But then she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And then it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with this BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustrated about this.

Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk this BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

But than why she is playing with my heart. She has played with my emotional twice.


You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

She even not giving me back my stuff my money, dimond bracelet that I gave her

Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.

Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.


He cant even touch me, I taught him a good lesson once when he was trying to bully me. I am not creepy, I am just a bit emotional. She was texting me for last 4 months and than suddenly turned a total to me like I am nobody. Its really hurt full and hard to forgive. When u get treated like this. I really don't know what to do. But can u please tell if I just talk her BF can she take any legal action against me.

Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.

Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.

Well I am really hurt, cant even sleep and crying for like last 4 days and 100s of messages have been exchanged by the way her and me since than. But we were only fighting and blaming each other and now she won't even reply me anything. I guess I am going to a depression. I never deserved to be treated like this for loving her so much. She turned completely stranger.

I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.

I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.
But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.

I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(bt I don't hv any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frusted and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted his BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, choclates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

But than she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And than it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with is BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustated about this.
Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk his BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.

Hi!

She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.

Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.

But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.

Okay. Tough love. Quit whining. I know how you feel, I have been there, but nothing good can come of this. Distract yourself, pick up a new hobby, pick up some pron and have a good wank, call your friends and have a good bender at the local dive, get out of the house and meet new people. Your heart is dumb, most of them are, they don't see the rational side because they don't want to. They don't see what is really going on because they want to feel the passion. You need to distance yourself from this emotionally and physically. Until you do that you're like an addict that can't get away from the heroin.

Hi!

She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.

This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.

This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.

Time. Honestly, this is still burning brightly in you and every time you two connect it burns hotter. Give it time and it will pass.

Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.

When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.

When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.

harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.

Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.


harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.


Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.

Glad you FINALLY get you need to leave her and her boyfriend alone and break all contact with them. Just because you gave your heart foolishly to an undeserving USER, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

@Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?

@Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?

I have no idea who this poster is in real life, but his actions, as posted here, are creepy.

He cant even touch me, I taught him a good lesson once when he was trying to bully me. I am not creepy, I am just a bit emotional. She was texting me for last 4 months and than suddenly turned a total to me like I am nobody. Its really hurt full and hard to forgive. When u get treated like this. I really don't know what to do. But can u please tell if I just talk her BF can she take any legal action against me.


No. If she is around and ask you not to contact her. But If you speak to him in private than no. She can't.

Yes she can, if you continue to try and be involved in her life, including talking about her to her close friends, you would and "SHOULD" get a restraining order against you.

You need to do nothing, delete or block her phone number, and that of her close friend, do not go where they work, delete them from Facebook. And go on with a real life.

You are obsessed, and you are crossing the lines of proper behavior.

You know just by you asking the question it shows some level of understanding that your behavior is creepy and approaching stalking. Time to move your life forward and develop some self-respect for you. Chasing after a girl who doesn’t want you is just time wasted.

It is up to you, to end the relationship once and for all, and leave her alone. It matters not if she is involved with someone else, although that person should not be used to exact revenge, which is what you are doing.

Further, you wanting money back, for gifts you gave freely while you were involved with this woman, is also vengeful. Gifts of money or anything else during a relationship, are gifts, not loans. When you are hurt and pissed about her dumping you does not give you the (legal) right to demand the money/gifts back. Unless you had some sort of written contract, signed, that said what you gave were loans. In that case, you would still not keep harassing her, you would/should go to court to get your money back.

Talking to her boyfriend about what exactly? You have no reason to talk to him, anymore than he has reason to talk to you. He has done nothing to you, and him being now involved with your ex, is no reason to meet with him to talk about your ex. Leave him alone. If you do approach him with the garbage you have spewed here about revenge, he would have every reason to get a restraining order against you.

The problem lies only with you. Not her, not her boyfriend. That you feel you are owed something because you spent so lavishly (by choice), and she hurt you so badly (without a reason in your book), is very troubling. And the anger you express through your post needs to be dealt with.

I suspect this was the first serious relationship you've had. I suggest that you seek help in dealing with the loss of this relationship. Speak to someone- maybe a university center that offers counseling for free- and learn to express yourself to a person who can give you concrete help in overcoming, peacefully, your inability to accept the relationship is over.

You can see that most people here, replying to your post, including me, find your behavior creepy. It is creepy because you choose to make it creepy. And it is creepy because you are formulating plans to disrupt your ex's live, and the life of her now boyfriend. Even if you were to succeed in breaking them up, you are only giving her more reason to also find you too creepy to even consider dating again. Why? Because she, and us, can clearly see how you handle your emotions.

Please seek help. Understanding how your behavior affects others, no matter who they are, will give you knowledge and understanding and insight into your own behavior. Then the next time around when you are involved in a relationship that ends, you will be better able to manage yourself, and not come off as some spurned lover intent on destruction.

I have no idea who this poster is in real life, but his actions, as posted here, are creepy.


On the top of everything I got into a big car accident. Barely survived. My car is completely ridden off. One of my front tire broke down on highway and I my car slide under the transport truck trailer and police going to charge me for this for losing control over my car. How lucky am I. This car was the only good thing going on for me in my life and even that has gone now...

We all have had a run of bad luck every now and then and we push through those times and events, and emerge wiser, and stronger. Some things we cannot control, but we can control how we act, and react to them.

You will get through your challenging times too, when you control your own impulses to behave badly that puts you in those creepy positions. It's an expensive learning experience so pay attention.

Now you just have to appear in court and prove this was a mechanical failure that caused your accident, and not reckless behavior. No insurance?

We all have had a run of bad luck every now and then and we push through those times and events, and emerge wiser, and stronger. Some things we cannot control, but we can control how we act, and react to them.

You will get through your challenging times too, when you control your own impulses to behave badly that puts you in those creepy positions. It's an expensive learning experience so pay attention.

Now you just have to appear in court and prove this was a mechanical failure that caused your accident, and not reckless behavior. No insurance?


I have a full coverage so all kinds of damages are cover. But I don't think so I can afford a car in the future my monthly insurance will go up to $600. And this bad luck is going for couple of years now. Everything has messed in my life now. No reason live now. I was struggling all my life and I used to fight off everything bt now I am losing patience and really frustrated from my life. I am tired of waiting for my time.

No doubt being played for a fool goes into this feeling but you will recover if you don't give into your impulses and take responsibility for YOUR actions which no doubt played greatly into this "bad luck".

You can't go back so move forward and do better by WORKING your way through your challenges, using your experiences to chart a better path for yourself.

Stay off the pity pot as whining about the past just keeps you stuck on the bad luck.

On the top of everything I got into a big car accident. Barely survived.
Barely survived huh? Your original post was on July 22. This is July 25. If you barely survived you wouldn't be any condition to be posting. You can't pull the wool over my eyes, I work in the medical field. I KNOW what "barely survived" means, and approximately how long it takes to recover.

Its obvious you are a drama queen/king. Get off the pity pot. No one likes a drama queen.

As was mentioned... I've been in several moderately bad accidents where my life was in no danger from my injuries... and from pain alone I would not have been posting as quickly as you did after.

That's life... bad things WILL happen from time to time... you suck it up, act like an adult and move on. If you expect pity from the world every time something happens... you are in for a rude awakening. You will be lucky your best friends give more than a passing acknowledgment of it. Because they have all been there too and know that's how you do things.

If you don't you will find your friends will start distancing themselves from you.

What's that old saying? "Life sucks, then you die"... or the other one. "Sh*t happens"? Welcome to the real world. Bad things happen... but life always moves on. Wallow in self pity and you get left behind, and it will be your own fault when that happens.

It is up to you, to end the relationship once and for all, and leave her alone. It matters not if she is involved with someone else, although that person should not be used to exact revenge, which is what you are doing.<br>
<br>
Further, you wanting money back, for gifts you gave freely while you were involved with this woman, is also vengeful. Gifts of money or anything else during a relationship, are gifts, not loans. When you are hurt and pissed about her dumping you does not give you the (legal) right to demand the money/gifts back. Unless you had some sort of written contract, signed, that said what you gave were loans. In that case, you would still not keep harassing her, you would/should go to court to get your money back.<br>
<br>
Talking to her boyfriend about what exactly? You have no reason to talk to him, anymore than he has reason to talk to you. He has done nothing to you, and him being now involved with your ex, is no reason to meet with him to talk about your ex. Leave him alone. If you do approach him with the garbage you have spewed here about revenge, he would have every reason to get a restraining order against you.<br>
<br>
The problem lies only with you. Not her, not her boyfriend. That you feel you are owed something because you spent so lavishly (by choice), and she hurt you so badly (without a reason in your book), is very troubling. And the anger you express through your post needs to be dealt with.<br>
<br>
I suspect this was the first serious relationship you've had. I suggest that you seek help in dealing with the loss of this relationship. Speak to someone- maybe a university center that offers counseling for free- and learn to express yourself to a person who can give you concrete help in overcoming, peacefully, your inability to accept the relationship is over.<br>
<br>
You can see that most people here, replying to your post, including me, find your behavior creepy. It is creepy because you choose to make it creepy. And it is creepy because you are formulating plans to disrupt your ex's live, and the life of her now boyfriend. Even if you were to succeed in breaking them up, you are only giving her more reason to also find you too creepy to even consider dating again. Why? Because she, and us, can clearly see how you handle your emotions.<br>
<br>
Please seek help. Understanding how your behavior affects others, no matter who they are, will give you knowledge and understanding and insight into your own behavior. Then the next time around when you are involved in a relationship that ends, you will be better able to manage yourself, and not come off as some spurned lover intent on destruction.<br>
<br><br>

First of all, my love and feelings for her are true which is rare to find these days. This is why most of the people does not understand my actions &nbsp;I went through so much pain just to make her life better and I am not that type of guy who will whine about the money all the time. I just don't care about the money. The only thing that hurts me, I wasted all my time for a wrong person. If she would have told me this from the beginning I would have never invested myself in her. When it was quiet obvious from the beginning how much I loved her . She just got really rude to me. At first she did not even told me she is with someone else now and just started lying to me to not to talk with me. If she would have honest enough to tell me about everything I never would have been broken like this. Like other people I cant play and understand mind games and I hate when people lie about things.

You may not whine about the money but you whine about everything else in life. Seriously dude man up and realize your life is what you make it. If you wallow in self-pity all the time then your life will be a depressed mess. So you had a relationship that didn't work out. So what? Who hasn't? Tomorrow's another day so make it a great day.

You date people to see if you are compatible to that person. Although you may have felt a connection to that woman, she didn't and she decided to move on. It happens to us all. There are no rules about dating which state because I dated you, you must now stay with me. A person can walk away at any time and honestly if you were not right for her it was a good decision on her part.

If the way you write is the way you come across in person with your personality and actions, I can see a lot of women deciding you won't be right for them. People like to be around positive people.

You may not whine about the money but you whine about everything else in life. Seriously dude man up and realize your life is what you make it. If you wallow in self-pity all the time then your life will be a depressed mess. So you had a relationship that didn’t work out. So what? Who hasn’t? Tomorrow’s another day so make it a great day.

You date people to see if you are compatible to that person. Although you may have felt a connection to that woman, she didn’t and she decided to move on. It happens to us all. There are no rules about dating which state because I dated you, you must now stay with me. A person can walk away at any time and honestly if you were not right for her it was a good decision on her part.

If the way you write is the way you come across in person with your personality and actions, I can see a lot of women deciding you won’t be right for them. People like to be around positive people.

I am a positive person, who always motivates other, No one have never said to me negative, every time she is in trouble she remembers that I also exist, why don't she go to his so called boyfriend than. I motivated her even when she was really screwed and depressed about her life. All I know I never deserved this at all. I went through horrific car crash, my car slide under the truck trailer at the speed of 100 and I feel lucky to be alive with no injuries. I am ready to fight off anything in my life I just don't care, but the only pain in my life is she is not with me.

Oy vey. It's over. It's time to move on. The sooner you realize that and move on the better off you will be. Why people including you allow other people to have control over them I will never understand. I decide whether I am going to be happy in life and given the choice of being happy or wallowing in depression every minute of every day I am choosing to be happy every day. It's a concept that will be way too difficult for you to learn because you allow others to control your happiness. If my partner of 5 years decided one day to just walk away, I know I would makei t just fine and I know I would be okay. That is the only way to live and until you learn that, well, it's probably going to be sad times for you and that's unfortunate.

Jury is out on whether you are a positive person my friend. Being a positive person isn't just being positive when things are going well. The tough time is being positive when things aren't going so well, and you aren't positive.

Oy vey. It’s over. It’s time to move on. The sooner you realize that and move on the better off you will be. Why people including you allow other people to have control over them I will never understand. I decide whether I am going to be happy in life and given the choice of being happy or wallowing in depression every minute of every day I am choosing to be happy every day. It’s a concept that will be way too difficult for you to learn because you allow others to control your happiness. If my partner of 5 years decided one day to just walk away, I know I would makei t just fine and I know I would be okay. That is the only way to live and until you learn that, well, it’s probably going to be sad times for you and that’s unfortunate.

Jury is out on whether you are a positive person my friend. Being a positive person isn’t just being positive when things are going well. The tough time is being positive when things aren’t going so well, and you aren’t positive.


I am not that negative as it sounds here, I already said I was struggling all my life and been through very bad times before but I was always positive to fight everything. But now water is flowing over my head, why I am the one who always loose and I am not happy like others people. I simple, honest, easy going and never try to hurt others. I feel happy when I do something for others even when it's a stranger.

Life is what you make it. You are making yours now. If something isn't working try a new path. A new approach.

Life is what you make it. You are making yours now. If something isn't working try a new path. A new approach.

Thanks for your motivation, I am ready to rebuild my life with new attitude but now I have done one more stupid thing, I went to a club picked up easy stranger and had sex with her but it was protected but still I am really worried about it in case she gave me any STD that girl was really unhygienic. I am just waiting for next 21 days to pass if she would have given me anytype of viral infection. I am really scared now. Cant live my life the way I want to, Until I know I hve nothing.

After All this I just don't want any STD, I am such a stupid person to do so. When I already know I am going through such a bad time.

Hey, analogies suck so I will try to be kind with this one.

You are a dependent. You need to have someone to latch on to to emotionally survive. You CAN'T be single. You're like a leech. Without someone to feed off, emotionally, you wither. You invest a LOT emotionally and very quickly and it REALLY pains you to let it go. It is like hoarding emotional baggage at this point. You see the shows on TV where people have collected a metric (not imperial) BUTTLOAD of crap because they'll need it one day. They saw this cool Pintrest that uses old cat food containers to make wind chimes so they've hoard a bunch of them to do this because it was cool. Mindless of the fact that they just spend the day not making catfood tin wind chimes. People hoard emotional baggage like that as well. They do this because it makes it seem that they're important to that one person. That makes them feel like they're important and that they matter. If they discard that and move on then they're not as important and they exist in the world a little less. If they're not close to anyone who would notice if they died?

You're dealing with this quite poorly. You're not confident enough to just be you. You need to be defined as part of a couple, as someone in a relationship; even if that relationship is purely in your mind. Like the one you're having with this woman. What you need to do is figure out your own self worth. Your position in life and in the world. This isn't an easy journey, hell I haven't made it far along the path myself, but you need to start this journey. You need to be single. Not get into an relationship, for casual sex or otherwise. You need to find you.

If don't know who you are and can't find yourself, how can anyone else know you?

Just to add to the above, pay attention to the poor impulsive emotional decisions you have made and how they bite you in the butt. >OUCH< THINK more before you ACT, and you may save your BUTT some painful bruises in the future.

I think you need some time to HEAL, AND think without feeling sorry for yourself... stay off the pity pot!

Thanks all for there suggestions and CravenMorehead you are mostly right about that I am not that confident, I was never that confident. But I was never so emotional in my life, girls came and go I never cared about them but now things have changed I am in my late 20s now, I really need someone with me, I feel lonely these days I never had this kind of feeling in my life before. I feel like I am running out of time and everything I always wanted to do is now or never.


Hey, analogies suck so I will try to be kind with this one.

You are a dependent. You need to have someone to latch on to to emotionally survive. You CAN'T be single. You're like a leech. Without someone to feed off, emotionally, you wither. You invest a LOT emotionally and very quickly and it REALLY pains you to let it go. It is like hoarding emotional baggage at this point. You see the shows on TV where people have collected a metric (not imperial) BUTTLOAD of crap because they'll need it one day. They saw this cool Pintrest that uses old cat food containers to make wind chimes so they've hoard a bunch of them to do this because it was cool. Mindless of the fact that they just spend the day not making catfood tin wind chimes. People hoard emotional baggage like that as well. They do this because it makes it seem that they're important to that one person. That makes them feel like they're important and that they matter. If they discard that and move on then they're not as important and they exist in the world a little less. If they're not close to anyone who would notice if they died?

You're dealing with this quite poorly. You're not confident enough to just be you. You need to be defined as part of a couple, as someone in a relationship; even if that relationship is purely in your mind. Like the one you're having with this woman. What you need to do is figure out your own self worth. Your position in life and in the world. This isn't an easy journey, hell I haven't made it far along the path myself, but you need to start this journey. You need to be single. Not get into an relationship, for casual sex or otherwise. You need to find you.

If don't know who you are and can't find yourself, how can anyone else know you?


Thanks all for there suggestions and CravenMorehead you are mostly right about that I am not that confident, I was never that confident. But I was never so emotional in my life, girls came and go I never cared about them but now things have changed I am in my late 20s now, I really need someone with me, I feel lonely these days I never had this kind of feeling in my life before. I feel like I am running out of time and everything I always wanted to do is now or never.

So here it begin again, This girl I am talking about in this post again started texting me and I ignored her for weeks, I finally started respoinding her and than talking and than same sh*t all over again and than she again turned on me. I really need to block this girl from my life but I don't know how.

So... don't you see the problem here... You stopped ignoring her.

If you don't grow a set and stick to ignoring her... then you can expect more of the same. You don't keep letting people back into your house after they trash the place the first time.

What's that old saying... "Fool my once..shame on you. Fool me twice..shame on me."

You are absolutely right and its all my fault I let her in again to destroy me. I hope this time I will be strong enough to keep her out. But my life just ends without her. I don't how to fight this feeling.

Look at it this way... if you keep going back for more... then you lose the right to complain. And you better get used to a LOT more of it.


This is another of those times when you can't have it both ways. Now there actually are people who's lives are so without anything else of merit or value... they need the constant drama to justify their own existence.

I don't think you are one of them. You are just someone young enough to not yet know how good things can be when they aren't around a loser or malcontent. She is like a leech... a parasite, a succubus... leaching off everything she can get without really giving much back in return.

I learned early on... never lend money out you aren't willing to consider a gift. Because people you know most often will use that relationship to avoid paying it back on time if at all. That's why banks, and for those who don't take paying debts seriously enough... Title loan companies and payday lenders exist.

Trust me... get as far from her as you can... find someone else... and it won't be long before you won't be able to see how you put up with her this long.

I invested myself to muich in her both emotionally and financially, I am trying to find someone else but I don't know, nothing working at the moment and more than anything I really want to end this now. I'm dealing with this for more than a year now. I was never so depressed in life, I feel like I just deserve to suffer.

It's time to come back to reality. It's over, it's going to stay over, and you need to accept that it's over. And before you get back into another relationship, learn how to not allow another person to control your mental health. You are allowing yourself to be depressed. It's a choice you are making. Therefore you must love feeling miserable. I don't allow anyone to have that control over me. It's a better way to live.


I invested myself to muich in her both emotionally and financially, I am trying to find someone else but I don't know, nothing working at the moment and more than anything I really want to end this now. I'm dealing with this for more than a year now. I was never so depressed in life, I feel like I just deserve to suffer.

Just to add to the above, pay attention to the poor impulsive emotional decisions you have made and how they bite you in the butt. >OUCH< THINK more before you ACT, and you may save your BUTT some painful bruises in the future.

I think you need some time to HEAL, AND think without feeling sorry for yourself... stay off the pity pot!

You obviously need more time.

When I convince myself it over, I get even more depressed. I also wrote a song, played it on my guitar and posted it on a YouTube about how she was a b*tch to me. To feel better. But its of no use.

Get help. Serious help. We can't help you here.

I am unsubscribing.

You have some very, very deep misconceptions about life.
One is that GIVING requires reciprocation. Giving presents, money, time, and love. Nope! Nobody owes you anything.

Another is that people will respond to you the way you respond to them, and the way you want them to respond. Nope!

Another is that masochistic, one-sided giving is endearing. It's annoying. It makes people want to grind you into the dirt with their heels.

So grow some integrity and self-awareness. Be your own person, and stop latching into love interests. Have interests in learning, in talent and skill and art and music and books and science and athletics and abused animals. DO THINGS outside of pathetic attachments.

TRY ONE OF THOSE! Which one is it going to be? I for one don't want to hear about her anymore, and your foolishness over and over. Your foolishness is actually self-centered. You can't believe she doesn't think you are the greatest guy in the world.

If you walked up to a dog you really thought was gorgeous, and it bit you, then you decided to give it another chance and it bit you again, how many times would you keep going back hoping for a different outcome? Your probably wouldn't have even gone back the second time, right? Once bitten twice shy.

This girl keeps using you and you keep going back for more hoping for a different outcome. It's not going to happen. You let her use you, and she'll keep coming back to use you every time she needs you. It's never going to lead to what you want. She'll always bite!

You don't know how to get her out of your life? Easy. Delete her from all your devices, fb, your phone, twitter, whatever else. Change your phone number, or delete her from your phone so she can no longer text you. Then move on.

It's up to you how much you'll continue to let this girl use you. No pity from me at all, you're allowing this to happen, this is your choice. You get what you ask for. So stop making stupid decisions. Grow a pair and get her out of your life once and for all.

Thanks again all for your replies . Before started talking to her again this time I was getting better, I also ignored her for weeks, But I thought this time she has realized that I am the one for her. But first she keep on texting me to till I started talking to her and when started talking to her she just stopped replying to me which really pissed me off. But I really want to make changes in my life now. I have lost ambition in life since the time I have met her. I do everything just for her. I have lost myself. Before I used have really busy life school and work and I was happy in during that time. But after graduation I am working fulltime and have lot of spare time as well but no real friends to hangout with after school.I have got alone. I have no life. This also a reason why I am keep falling her trap because I need someone and I have not able to find any other friend yet. I love animals and music. I play bit of guitar I will do something more in that. May be I will start a school again.

OK, stop writing songs about her, maybe change your phone number, change email addresses, what ever it takes. Do not communicate with her again. Do not read her texts, do not open them, delete them without looking.

It may be months to move on emotionally, not weeks.

Stop wasting time pining and whining over the past and explore the options and opportunities to build a great life that you enjoy without her in it. Takes time to heal, and time flies when you're having fun.

At least be grateful you now have a choice to be her fool again or not, and keep a healthy distance as you LEARN to deal with your feelings. That's another choice you have, to grow the heck up, or be stuck on... well you get the idea.

You are talking weeks... not months or years. She may be a total loser... but this situation you are in right now is your own fault... and of your own making.

So you have two choices... grow a pair... and say enough is enough... or be a wuss and put up with her crap. Wear that dog collar and that french maid outfit she'll buy for you... and god knows what else (more figurative than literal).

Yeah... crap happens... relationships go sour, happens to everyone, but the acceptable window for whining about it is fairly short... past that people start to wonder what's wrong with you. Because you refuse to see things for what they are and move on.

There are over 7 billion people on Earth...women statistically are just over half of that....which means there are over 3.5 billion women on earth. Find another...there are lots of them...they are everywhere.

Thanks again all for your replies . Before started talking to her again this time I was getting better, I also ignored her for weeks, But I thought this time she has realized that I am the one for her. If I had a rolled up newpaper I would swat you right on the nose. You are NOT the one for her. She is NOT the one for you. You have this delusion in your mind because it is more comforting this the cold reality that there is NO ONE for you. There is someone for you, in fact there are many someone's for you if you look for them. The problem here is that you're so focused on her that you are ignoring everything else.

You're giving her real estate in your head for free. She also knows how hung up on her you are and is exploiting that because it feels good to be wanted, especially if you have no plans to reciprocate. Why are you doing this? Do you like being walked over REPEATEDLY?


But first she keep on texting me to till I started talking to her and when started talking to her she just stopped replying to me which really pissed me off. But I really want to make changes in my life now.
I think many have suggested this, but I need to reenforce this. Block ALL means on contact with her. Facebook, texting, whatsapp, snapchat, and every other way she can contact you. Don't just ignore her, block her. Only ignoring her means your still interacting with her. If you read her texts and do nothing then you're still interacting with her and she's still getting what she wants here. Block it or you'll be trapped like this forever.


I have lost ambition in life since the time I have met her. I do everything just for her. I have lost myself. Before I used have really busy life school and work and I was happy in during that time. But after graduation I am working fulltime and have lot of spare time as well but no real friends to hangout with after school.I have got alone. I have no life. This also a reason why I am keep falling her trap because I need someone and I have not able to find any other friend yet. I love animals and music. I play bit of guitar I will do something more in that. May be I will start a school again.

Start school again. Volunteer at a SPCA/animal shelter. If you go out and do things then you'll never be alone. Find a band to play with. Busk. Just go out to a park or something. You have to expose yourself to others. Otherwise you will fall into that trap again. You need to be proactive. If you're just passive in everything you do then you will be subject to the underflow of the world around you. You will get sucked into her again.

Stop it. You're doing it to yourself. You are Choosing this.

I really hate it when I have to spread the rep around. Listen to what everyone has posted, they're right on the money!

You're letting her control your life. Until you take control back, you won't be happy, and you'll continue to let her into your life.

You really sound way too desperate to have someone in your life, and she knows it, which is why she's able to manipulate you. You're easy prey.

You will never find happiness with someone else until you're happy with yourself. You will never find love if you're only looking for someone to fill the void you yourself can't seem to fill. People don't make you whole, you have to do that, you have to find a purpose. Until you do that, she, and people like her, will continue to use you, while you allow yourself to be used out of desperation to be with someone.

The best advice I can give you is to learn to love yourself before you expect someone else to.

I really hate it when I have to spread the rep around. Listen to what everyone has posted, they're right on the money!

You're letting her control your life. Until you take control back, you won't be happy, and you'll continue to let her into your life.

You really sound way too desperate to have someone in your life, and she knows it, which is why she's able to manipulate you. You're easy prey.

You will never find happiness with someone else until you're happy with yourself. You will never find love if you're only looking for someone to fill the void you yourself can't seem to fill. People don't make you whole, you have to do that, you have to find a purpose. Until you do that, she, and people like her, will continue to use you, while you allow yourself to be used out of desperation to be with someone.

The best advice I can give you is to learn to love yourself before you expect someone else to.


Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions and I hope when the next time I will come to this forum I will be happy and excited about life again. One of the quotes that hit my mind and I guess I am going to follow it from now on -


"The Love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else is the love and attention you first need to give yourself"

"The Love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else is the love and attention you first need to give yourself"

Exactly! Learn to love yourself, focus on yourself, spend time getting to know yourself, and when you enjoy being around yourself, then find someone to spend time with.

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

Exactly! Learn to love yourself, focus on yourself, spend time getting to know yourself, and when you enjoy being around yourself, then find someone to spend time with.

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?


Well we talked again, She insited really hard to stay as her friend. Almost forced me and did not want me to go even when I used offensive words against her and her boyfriend again & again. Before she used to get mad whenever I used say anything against her boyfriend but this time she did not and kept insisting me to stay his friend like she was begging me. But she just wanted to be my friend and never want to be more than that but I don't, I loved her not as a friend which I cant accept. So I blocked her on th Facebook and Stopped sending or receiving any texts by clarifying her I am not interested to be her friend. I am guessing She is again going through a rough patch with his bf and seeking someone to talk to. till the time things get better for her again. she also sent me really long text about 20 to 30 lines that how she is so polite to me and i am being rude and childish , she is giving me an opportunity to be a part of her life bt only as a frnd, but i did not reply to that long message and that was the end of our conversation.

Well we talked again, She insited really hard to stay as her friend. Almost forced me and did not want me to go even when I used offensive words against her and her boyfriend again & again. Before she used to get mad whenever I used say anything against her boyfriend but this time she did not and kept insisting me to stay his friend like she was begging me. But she just wanted to be my friend and never want to be more than that but I don't, I loved her not as a friend which I cant accept. So I blocked her on th Facebook and Stopped sending or receiving any texts by clarifying her I am not interested to be her friend.

Good on you. Now to heal and move along.

Horray.. you got the message and are with the program... let her find some other sucker... she is toxic... and you don't need that if you are going to move ahead in your life.

You are getting really GOOD at this!
You get first prize for the last 5 years here!

Well I lost control and Replied to her long text that I am NOT interested in friendship but than again conversation started and I asked her If she is happy with the other guy and want to stay with him why the hell she wants to be my friend when when I clearly told her we were never friends and we are never going to be and suggested her not to talk to me if that other guy finds out this she still talks to me he will freak out big time. Because that guy and me has some bitter encouters in the past over her. But she keep insisting to be her friend and my answer was no all the time. Which never going to change.

You better get under control my friend and stop all contact... AGAIN! Thought you learned that lesson already?

Ignore her COMPLETELY or these games are never going to stop. You don't HAVE to talk... you simply block her, hang up on her, walk away from or or just ignore her.

Otherwise nothing changes.. and nothing improves. She isn't going to change anytime soon if ever... so it's a wasted effort. It might have been their fault before....now its yours.

Thanks I will definitely follow what you said.

You don't have to explain to her why you don't want contact with her. You just stop contact. You don't owe her any explanation.

You have the power over who you allow in your life. Take back your power, stop giving it to her.

Its already been a couple of days I have not talked to her and I am already losing control. Its staturday, I hv no where to go, No friends at all. I love traveling, hiking, camping, volunteering kind of stuff but I don't want to do it alone, I go alone for walks in town but How long can I do it. How should I find new friends, How to find myself, I want to do something in life that I really like to do, which drives me and I never feel a need for someone.So I never feel alone again.

You go out a meet people A few will become friends.. most will remain acquaintances. SO get out and do what you like... even if it is alone. If you can't enjoy your own company... how can you expect others to as well? Unless you live in some remote corner of the earth alone...you are never alone. Mope around sulking with the woe is me attitude...and people are going to start avoiding you. People like being around other fun people...

The people that claim misery loves company...are depressed pessimists.

You go out a meet people A few will become friends.. most will remain acquaintances. SO get out and do what you like... even if it is alone. If you can't enjoy your own company... how can you expect others to as well? Unless you live in some remote corner of the earth alone...you are never alone. Mope around sulking with the woe is me attitude...and people are going to start avoiding you. People like being around other fun people...

The people that claim misery loves company...are depressed pessimists.

You are right smoothy I am depressed pessimists at the moment. Most of the life I hv lived alone cause I am an introvert, bt I was never so depressed or alone and instead of being an introvert all my life I had good friends but most of my friends now hv girlfriends, families, or they are working when I am free. So I feel like I hv no friends, its true I am not making any new friends anymore. I have a boring office job and there are circumstances I cant change it at the moment. I had a car before, which I lost in an accident, so I am not driving anymore, hard to explore new areas without a car. I want to find an objective which always keeps me focused and give new direction and objective to my life. I want to fall in love with my objective.

Your day job doesn't matter... its always a bad idea to date anyone you work with anyway.

Same with a car... you walk places.. talk to people in the store, restaurant wherever you are. Its only hard at first. It gets easier the more you do it.

Just talk.. with no expectations of anything in the future. Therefore there are no letdowns or disappointments... enjoy the moment.

You can have great conversations with people you might never see again. A few you might and a couple of those might go on to becoming life long friends.

Your day job doesn't matter... its always a bad idea to date anyone you work with anyway.

Same with a car... you walk places.. talk to people in the store, restaurant wherever you are. Its only hard at first. It gets easier the more you do it.

Just talk.. with no expectations of anything in the future. Therefore there are no letdowns or disappointments... enjoy the moment.

You can have great conversations with people you might never see again. A few you might and a couple of those might go on to becoming life long friends.

Thanks again smoothy for your suggestions, but my problem is I don't talk to new people or strangers, I am not good with words, No matter matter how knowledgeable am I, but I am going downtown now, at least see something, there is something always going on there. I will try my best not to reply her last text.

Part of your RUT is not knowing what to do with yourself, or how to do it yourself. Any young guy nowadays can always start at a gym, and be on the lookout for interesting things going on around them locally.

If you weren't so self indulgent with pity and EXCUSES, you would be getting on a bus or train, and just trying stuff, or calling friends, OR FAMILY and seeing what's up, instead of adding to your misery by A$$uming and presuming what they are doing.

People who like who they are, are seldom bored with themselves, OR CONTENT IN THEIR OWN MISERY. Heck guy, you were miserable with this girl before, so why keep that going after you get away from her, and get a fresh start? Such self abuse is not acceptable.

Part of your RUT is not knowing what to do with yourself, or how to do it yourself. Any young guy nowadays can always start at a gym, and be on the lookout for interesting things going on around them locally.

If you weren't so self indulgent with pity and EXCUSES, you would be getting on a bus or train, and just trying stuff, or calling friends, OR FAMILY and seeing what's up, instead of adding to your misery by A$$uming and presuming what they are doing.

People who like who they are, are seldom bored with themselves, OR CONTENT IN THEIR OWN MISERY. Heck guy, you were miserable with this girl before, so why keep that going after you get away from her, and get a fresh start? Such self abuse is not acceptable.

I already go to gym 4 to 5 times a week, go for long walks all the time. It is just I am just meant to suffer. Not a thing is working for me at the moment, I am low in confidence and I am afraid of talking to people. My life is a total car crash. I need a fresh start and I myself not like way I am right now.

A fresh start does you no good if you keep making the same mistakes of the past.

Everyone isn't a gifted speaker... and you don't have to be knowledgeable to talk. Heck half the people out there are dumb as stumps... but they can still talk up a storm.

If you don't try you won't keep doing it, if you don't keep doing it you aren't going to get comfortable doing it. If you don't get comfortable doing it you are going to remain that dullard everyone assumes is antisocial so they don't make the effort either.

Its your life... and your life is what you make of it. If you don't ever get outside your comfort zone and make the effort... nothing will ever change and that will be your own fault.

If you don't put anything into it... then you aren't going to get anything out of it.

Can't think of anything good to do for yourself?

Try volunteering, at neighborhood clean ups/functions, or local church charity events, or with hospital groups, soup kitchens or the like. I suspect once you get a taste of helping those who don't have what you have, and have things to be really miserable about, you may change your lousy attitude to one of gratitude.

Make a decision to be a better human, or drown in your own selfish crap! What's it going to be?

Can't think of anything good to do for yourself?

Try volunteering, at neighborhood clean ups/functions, or local church charity events, or with hospital groups, soup kitchens or the like. I suspect once you get a taste of helping those who don't have what you have, and have things to be really miserable about, you may change your lousy attitude to one of gratitude.

Make a decision to be a better human, or drown in your own selfish crap! What's it going to be?


I don't know what is happenning to me, yesterday I lost control replied to her messages and this time our conservation ended with one of the biggest fight we ever had, I said so many really bad and cheap things to her that she will never even try to message me again. But after that fight all of the sudden I started feeling really good. I am behaving like everything is fine. I am not feeling pity for myself. I even added her boyfriend on my Facebook and he accepted my request. I have no motive to fight with guy and just wanna burry the hatchet with him. I don't know is this feeling is temporary and why am I doing it. I hv stopped grieving all of the sudden.

You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?

I couldn't agree more. Misery and attention, attention and misery. And a lot of Oh woe is me. He develops dependency on a person and that is never attractive I don't care how much he tries. I couldn't stand to live as he does.

Life is too much fun when you allow it to be, so misery ain't for me.


You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?

You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?


But I have no intentions to fight or hurt anyone. I just want to move on, bt don't want anyone else to have grudges on me. I just wann be happy. But you are right. No contact is the best idea.

You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?


Well now I am really feeling bad for what I said to that girl, I really got out of control and said really bad things to her. A person should never treat a woman like that no matter how much bad she is. What would I do now she will never forgive me for my behaviour last night. I don't want her anymore but now I want her forgiveness. How can I get salvation for my sins. I cant live with I treated some one so bad wheather they deserve it or not.

Dude do this girl a favor and leave her alone. It's probably a good thing she moved on from you. And from everything you have said if I had a daughter I wouldn't allow you close to her.

Dude do this girl a favor and leave her alone. It's probably a good thing she moved on from you. And from everything you have said if I had a daughter I wouldn't allow you close to her.


I know I really treated her bad and you are absolutely right about me. I hate myself. But if she will not forgive me. I will not forgive myself. I am really crying for treating her bad just one time. But she treated me bad so many times. I dont care about, whatever happened last night should have never happened.

Drama much?

People break up. Relationships end. Move on.

You really need to learn how to have a relationship and be a good partner before you jump into having another one. It's not worth this much stress and negativity. So stop the pity party for you and find something good to do for someone. Go volunteer as Tal suggested.

Drama much?

People break up. Relationships end. Move on.

You really need to learn how to have a relationship and be a good partner before you jump into having another one. It's not worth this much stress and negativity. So stop the pity party for you and find something good to do for someone. Go volunteer as Tal suggested.


But I feel like I should send her flowers or something with the sorry note and move on and leave her alone foreever.

Good idea.

The idea is good but she lives with his boyfriend and he cant find out about she is talking to me and I don't want to create any problems for her.

No actually the idea sucks.

Walk away. You are NOT good for her or yourself for that matter. Man up, grow a pair, and move on. Holy crappies talk about beating a dead horse, the poor horse is an inch thick now.

Sorry for the tough love, but for someone in your 20s you act less mature than my 12 year olds.

I can't understand why this post has gone on SO LONG... I think the OP likes the company it has created. Does that tell us something?

No actually the idea sucks.

Walk away. You are NOT good for her or yourself for that matter. Man up, grow a pair, and move on. Holy crappies talk about beating a dead horse, the poor horse is an inch thick now.

Sorry for the tough love, but for someone in your 20s you act less mature than my 12 year olds.


I know I am a total looser. But in my defense I will say when I was younger I was way more cooler and Mature I never used to care about girls, Just about what I am doing. I Never took love or relationsips serioulsy and this was short bt my first serious relationship. This is all because I am desperate at the moment. So doing childish mistakes and as I explained in my previous posts I have no frineds and No life at the moment makes me really vulnerable.

But I feel like I should send her flowers or something with the sorry note and move on and leave her alone foreever.
Why... Pehaps you should just buy a bunch of shirts with Kick me printed in large letters front and back. Seriously... WHY would this merit flowers and WHY would you even think it does?

Why... Pehaps you should just buy a bunch of shirts with Kick me printed in large letters front and back. Seriously... WHY would this merit flowers and WHY would you even think it does?

Because I said her so many bad things yesterday, Which I never should have said. I am feeling bad for this and its really bothering me and I cant relax.

Its completely over now. But I never wanted to hurt anyone at the first place.

Dude seriously... grow a set of balls.

There are occasions that call for flowers. This isn't one of them. In fact it would come across as seriously creepy. Maybe you need for her boyfriend to come over and kick your butt before you get the message. If someone did that to my wife... They would be feeding him through a tube... if they found his body at all.

Everything about this is seriously inappropriate.

Dude seriously... grow a set of balls.

There are occasions that call for flowers. This isn't one of them. In fact it would come across as seriously creepy. Maybe you need for her boyfriend to come over and kick your butt before you get the message. If someone did that to my wife... They would be feeding him through a tube... if they found his body at all.

Everything about this is seriously inappropriate.

Than what should I do I feel really bad.

Than what should I do I feel really bad.


THAT is why I said grow a set of balls.

The fact that you even feel like that in the first place indicates you have some serious personal issues you need to work out. Because there is NO reason you should be feeling like that. She has a boyfriend.. WHAT reason would she have to be with your? None. Did she participate in the Argument? Most likely. If she dished anything out... then its not one sided...

Keep at it and she WILL end up going to the police... she may say you are a stalker... she may say she feels her well being is at risk from you... her boyfriend... may decide HE'S heard enough.. and beat the living daylights out of you...

Lots of bad things for you can happen to you, and they would all be your fault..

Seriously... I see absolutely NOTHING redeeming about her or any relationship you may have had with her... that might be mostly in your head and she never felt the same... she might be trying to be nice because she fears for herself or she is just trying to be gracious ( some women are like that and it is many times misunderstood as caring by some poor lovesick sap looking for anything they can say she is reciprocating to justify it in their own minds)

Seriously...trying to help you out here but at this point you really are looking like a stalker....that won't take no for an answer.

Oh for goodness sake. Make up your mind. Either you're going to take the advice given to you, or continue to do what you want and suffer for it!

You keep saying we're right, that you'll do what we advise, and then the next day you're back to doing all the wrong things.

I'm done. You don't listen, and I'm done giving the same advice over and over that you won't follow. Do what you want. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

Oh for goodness sake. Make up your mind. Either you're going to take the advice given to you, or continue to do what you want and suffer for it!

You keep saying we're right, that you'll do what we advise, and then the next day you're back to doing all the wrong things.

I'm done. You don't listen, and I'm done giving the same advice over and over that you won't follow. Do what you want. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

Amen !

Obsession is not carrying about girls.

Dependency is not caring about girls.

Inappropriate actions such as stalking is not caring about girls.


when I was younger I was way more cooler and Mature I never used to care about girls,

THAT is why I said grow a set of balls.

The fact that you even feel like that in the first place indicates you have some serious personal issues you need to work out. Because there is NO reason you should be feeling like that. She has a boyfriend.. WHAT reason would she have to be with your? None. Did she participate in the Argument? Most likely. If she dished anything out... then its not one sided...

Keep at it and she WILL end up going to the police... she may say you are a stalker... she may say she feels her well being is at risk from you... her boyfriend... may decide HE'S heard enough.. and beat the living daylights out of you...

Lots of bad things for you can happen to you, and they would all be your fault..

Seriously... I see absolutely NOTHING redeeming about her or any relationship you may have had with her... that might be mostly in your head and she never felt the same... she might be trying to be nice because she fears for herself or she is just trying to be gracious ( some women are like that and it is many times misunderstood as caring by some poor lovesick sap looking for anything they can say she is reciprocating to justify it in their own minds)

Seriously...trying to help you out here but at this point you really are looking like a stalker....that won't take no for an answer.


Is the relationship only in my head?


When we first met we did not really talk about it what wer are doing, but I asked her few times is she seeing someone else but she said I am the only guy she is seeing, I recall couple of instances where she said we are dating, in four months we had sexxxx couple of times and kissed and hugged more in the first three months, But after 4 months when I finally asked her to be my girlfriend she replied to me we were only friends and she was never dating me and she never said that. I asked her to be sure what we are doing and I knew she is avoiding me by the fourth month and seeing some other guy. That she did not want me tell about.


We had plans to hangout on the weekend as usual and she said she had no one other to hangout with. But on the weekend I called her she said she is busy all day with something but I knew she has nothing to do and next thing I found out she spent a night at some other guys place. Which pissed me off I said her few things not because she refused to be my girlfriend but she was hiding and lying to me all this time. She told me she is not ready for any relationship . But she told me nothing happend even if she spent a night at some other guy house whom she just met. She is going back to school in few months so she don't have time for anything serious but just after a month of that incident she had new boyfriend and moved in with him. She never went to shcool again to complete her last semester. And by that time I invested myself so much financially and emotionally in her.




On the current situation, I was the one who said her so many bad things , she only replied me in the end, Anyways, I texted her sorry, I felt bad for whatever happened. She instantly replied me like she was waiting for my message. She is showing like she is upset but she wants talk again. But I am done with this thing now. There so many things have learned from it.

@Alty I know I always says u people are right. My mind tells me to do the right thing but heart looses control and do opposite. But I have learned my lessons and I dont wanna repeat my mistakes again and again.

OH MY CRAPPIES I CAN'T INVEST IN THIS ANYMORE.

You are a creepy stalker. Enough said.

OH MY CRAPPIES I CAN'T INVEST IN THIS ANYMORE.

You are a creepy stalker. Enough said.

May be lately I was doing things like creepy stalker, But as I said I am done, nothing else.

May be lately I was doing things like creepy stalker, But as I said I am done, nothing else.

Ya, you're done, until tomorrow when you start it all over again.

You've been done a few times now, ready to follow the advice and stick to it, only to go back to doing the things you shouldn't.

We're not stupid Harry. I'm willing to allow one relapse, but if you relapse every other day, after saying you'll follow the great advice you're given, then it's time to leave you to figure things out by yourself, because you're obviously only telling us what you think we want to hear.

Have you ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Read it. It's you! At this point I no longer believe that you'll do what you say. You'll just continue to do what you want, until you either end up in jail, or end up wasting years of your life on a girl that doesn't love you, will never love you, uses you, because guess what, you want her to! You let her!

This isn't her fault. It's yours! Only you can let people treat you like she does. It's your choice, and you choose to let her keep using you.

Come back in a few years, let me know how that worked out.

Good luck.