Ok so I did a huge sin, and I'm having so much trouble with the guilt and regret. I had a muslim boyfriend in the past and we were physical, I gave him my body and he was my first for everything! Then he dumped me and disappeared from my life. I was so heartbroken because he promised we would get married and now I just feel like a really bad muslim. I keep asking allah for forgiveness but I cann't seem to let it go or forgive myself, it has affected me so badly. I feel so digusted with myself and myself esteem has dropped! I feel very used by him and I have so many guys asking me to get engaged and married to them now as I am in my mid 20's and I keep saying no even though they are really good muslim guys and would be great husbands because I feel like I don't deserve a good person and because I feel bad knowing that I shared something so special with someone who didn't care about and now I cann't share the experience with a husband who truly cares and loves me. I really need some advice from other muslims about what to do right now, because I hate feeling like this!!

Assalamu alikum,

Islam Question and Answer - Repentance (http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/14289/repentance)

Islam Question and Answer - She repented from a haram relationship in which she lost her virginity. Should she marry who fornicated with her? (http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/104492/repentance)

Hope this helps.

I'm sorry to hear that , that guy will suffer in his life and never reach any where in life , you are the only one who knows how to heal yourself and move on , I want you to talk to some close to your family, I don't have answer for you only to move on and talk some one in your family that you really trust

Allah forguive mistakes , I know how do you feel , but you're sorry and you're feeling guelty , so that's it , it's time now try to forget and begin a new life , try to be a good muslimi , and trust me you are a good one because you're feeling that much guelty
good luck may allah e with you =)