Workout09
Dec 17, 2009, 11:45 AM
Hey All,
I will briefly describe my situation. My girlfriend and I met in college. I always told myself I would not get involved in a deep relationship while in college but I did my junior year. She is two years younger than me so when I graduated she still had a couple years left. Anyway, I ended up going to graduate school in a different state and she decided that she wanted to come with me. I really wanted her to come but I was a little worried about the move as the school we were previously attending was much better for the career she wants to pursue. So, we got an apartment together and she soon brought a dog into the relationship. I like dogs and I thought for sure we would be spending the rest of our life together so I did not view this a problem. During the past couple years while living in this new city, our relationship has hit a couple major road bumps. We got through the first major road bump and it was a BIGGIE, trust me. It us about 3 months to get back to the couple we were but it seemed like we eventually got there. However, we have hit another major road bump and this may be even bigger and very confusing. She told me she wants some space about five weeks ago but I did not give her the space she needed during the first three weeks so she seemed to push further away. The past couple weeks she has been gone from our apartment almost all the time while I have been taking care of the dog she brought into the apartment which kind of angers me. She used to love this dog but now pays little attention to it. Also, I told myself when this all began 5 weeks back that I would not spy on her at all but I checked one of her text messages just this past week and it was from a guy saying, Good morning baby. I approached her about this and at first she was angry that I checked her phone and then she said nothing was going on between this guy and her. I continued to ask her questions about the text throughout the next day but all that did was push her further away. I finally sat her down in a very calm, relaxed way and asked her about the text one more time. I even told her it was not a big deal if she was seeing this guy and that I just want to know the truth. She still told me nothing was going on and he was just a close friend. I should add that when this all began we promised each other we would not date anybody. She can be a very flirtatious girl when she drinks which can give guys the wrong impression. I actually know of a previous guy she hung out with who sent her a similar message but I know for a FACT nothing was going on between them. What do you guys think about this? Also, what do you think about my situation? She continues to tell me that she does not want me out of her life or out of the apartment except when she gets really angry at me for checking up on her. We have been together for 4+ years now and have been through a lot. It is very hard to live with her while she wants wants space since I love her and care for her. She still asks questions about where I have been at night but she does not want to talk about where she was at. She has been hanging out with her friends and I have been hanging out with my friends for the past 5 weeks. The only time we really have spent together (AWAKE) is during the weekdays but only for short periods. We still sleep in the same bed and she only has stayed out all night twice. When she came home from staying out all night, she did tell me she was at a girlfriends house. She obviously still loves me and cares for me when I stay out of her business but it does not seem that way when I ask her a bunch of questions. I know the obvious thing to do then is to just stay completely out of her business but it is very difficult since we live together and sleep in the same bed. At the current time, I do not see an end to her wanting space as she is still very distant most times. Seriously, how much longer would you guys deal with this before leaving the situation for good? I do care a lot for the dog so it would hurt to leave him too. I have been having trouble concentrating at work and school during this time. I think as long as we live together and she wants space I will have concentration problems. If it were not for her showing me that she still loves me at times, I probably would have already left. The first major road bump was a similar situation but only lasted about 4 weeks. Then, one morning she awoke and seemed like the same girl she used to be. I guess I am waiting for this to happen again. Besides the text, there are really no other major signs of her dating someone else. Christmas is coming up and she still talks about going home together and buying presents.
I will briefly describe my situation. My girlfriend and I met in college. I always told myself I would not get involved in a deep relationship while in college but I did my junior year. She is two years younger than me so when I graduated she still had a couple years left. Anyway, I ended up going to graduate school in a different state and she decided that she wanted to come with me. I really wanted her to come but I was a little worried about the move as the school we were previously attending was much better for the career she wants to pursue. So, we got an apartment together and she soon brought a dog into the relationship. I like dogs and I thought for sure we would be spending the rest of our life together so I did not view this a problem. During the past couple years while living in this new city, our relationship has hit a couple major road bumps. We got through the first major road bump and it was a BIGGIE, trust me. It us about 3 months to get back to the couple we were but it seemed like we eventually got there. However, we have hit another major road bump and this may be even bigger and very confusing. She told me she wants some space about five weeks ago but I did not give her the space she needed during the first three weeks so she seemed to push further away. The past couple weeks she has been gone from our apartment almost all the time while I have been taking care of the dog she brought into the apartment which kind of angers me. She used to love this dog but now pays little attention to it. Also, I told myself when this all began 5 weeks back that I would not spy on her at all but I checked one of her text messages just this past week and it was from a guy saying, Good morning baby. I approached her about this and at first she was angry that I checked her phone and then she said nothing was going on between this guy and her. I continued to ask her questions about the text throughout the next day but all that did was push her further away. I finally sat her down in a very calm, relaxed way and asked her about the text one more time. I even told her it was not a big deal if she was seeing this guy and that I just want to know the truth. She still told me nothing was going on and he was just a close friend. I should add that when this all began we promised each other we would not date anybody. She can be a very flirtatious girl when she drinks which can give guys the wrong impression. I actually know of a previous guy she hung out with who sent her a similar message but I know for a FACT nothing was going on between them. What do you guys think about this? Also, what do you think about my situation? She continues to tell me that she does not want me out of her life or out of the apartment except when she gets really angry at me for checking up on her. We have been together for 4+ years now and have been through a lot. It is very hard to live with her while she wants wants space since I love her and care for her. She still asks questions about where I have been at night but she does not want to talk about where she was at. She has been hanging out with her friends and I have been hanging out with my friends for the past 5 weeks. The only time we really have spent together (AWAKE) is during the weekdays but only for short periods. We still sleep in the same bed and she only has stayed out all night twice. When she came home from staying out all night, she did tell me she was at a girlfriends house. She obviously still loves me and cares for me when I stay out of her business but it does not seem that way when I ask her a bunch of questions. I know the obvious thing to do then is to just stay completely out of her business but it is very difficult since we live together and sleep in the same bed. At the current time, I do not see an end to her wanting space as she is still very distant most times. Seriously, how much longer would you guys deal with this before leaving the situation for good? I do care a lot for the dog so it would hurt to leave him too. I have been having trouble concentrating at work and school during this time. I think as long as we live together and she wants space I will have concentration problems. If it were not for her showing me that she still loves me at times, I probably would have already left. The first major road bump was a similar situation but only lasted about 4 weeks. Then, one morning she awoke and seemed like the same girl she used to be. I guess I am waiting for this to happen again. Besides the text, there are really no other major signs of her dating someone else. Christmas is coming up and she still talks about going home together and buying presents.