Hi all,
I was reading this site about 1 week already relating to no contact rules.
It’s very helpful especially whenever I want to contact my ex or her mother. :)
It’s my story...
I was with her about 1 year relationship. This 1 year relationship is very smooth. I treated her kind a cocky and non needy attitudes. She loves me so much and every time she called me. Very jealous to me with other girls. Sent flowers to my office.
2 months ago, she went to the other country with her family, which far from me about 10000 miles. Before she went there, I asked her to come back after 1 year. She said OK and promised. (I thought she don’t want to go there)
When she arrived there, things are still OK. We talked on phone and email and chat.
(I remembered. She said if I can follow there, it would be very good.)
But started from about 1 month there, she changed gradually. Don’t call me and don’t answer my calls also. Only when her mum gave her my calls, she answered to me. She said not feeling well and want to be alone. Those days, I tried to call many times, but she didn’t answers. At the end, her mum told me that there was a guy who likes her and she was pity on him. Her mum said this guy has pity background like no parents, not educated, no relative, no stable job, everyone look down on him, not handsome, bla bla...
So I told her mum that I will come and see her immediately. Her mum said she will discuss with her family. Next day, I received email from my ex. In her email,
She said
((… She so sorry to say that she has a new guy now. She wanted to say this to me but now she has to say this to me... She pity him so much. He has nothing. She feels like she needs to take care of him. She is the only person for that guy can possess in his life. She know what she did was wrong and stupid. I have everything. So I can get a new girlfriend easily. He doesn’t have anything. So she feels pity to him. ….))
So that night, we talk over phone. We both cried over phone. I told her many things about our future. I told her I will follow there and get married. She replied why I never said all these last time. She asked me to give her sometime.
The next day, I called her, she said with unfriendly tone, and said… she meant according to her email. After that we no more talk on phone already. On that day, we email back and there about 10 emails. 2 days later I sent her 1 email that … I agreed with this break up. Move on your life…
From that day onwards, I applied No Contact until now. (2 weeks already)
If you guys have some idea, please share with me.

I feel bad that you have put so much hope into a future with this gal! It seems that you went into the relationship with the intent on getting married, which is wonderful. I'm glad that you treat her very nice and it sounds like you would do anything for her.
Being in a relationship to try to change a person or to give them a better life should never be the focus. You should go into a relationship with the intent on marrying that person and getting to know them as good "marriage material." it sounds like your ex-galfriend has not went into this second relationship with the intent of marriage or genuine love. It is very unfortunate.
I think that you should respect her wishes to not talk. After all, it seems that you still care for this gal and you should still respect her... even if she has disrespected you. Of course it will be very tough to go awhile without talking. But if this gal ever chose to love you, she would realize her mistake and come back. If she does not choose to love you, then she is not a person you should marry. You are deserving of a woman who will love you no matter what.

Hi Jordyadele, thanks for your comfort.
Frankly speaking, I started no contact rule with the hope of she coming back to me after sometimes when she miss me and she know about a life without me.
But after 2 weeks of my no contact rule, I heal my pain and feel a lot better.
When she contact me, I will just talk casual like friends and non needy ways. If things back to normal and she want me back, I will see how her reactions. But if she just call me for her regrets, I will just say sorry and this relationship is ended. So I don't expect much from this relationship anymore.

You're right califoni. That's a wonderful plan. If this gal truly does love you, she will come back. If she doesn't truly love you, then there is no reason to try to contact her and keep a relationship. It will just be empty. She may come back to you and realize her mistake... but she may not. Let her decide and react upon her decision. But keep things slow... time is on your side.

You are on the right track, just keep going with NC and the healing will continue to happen

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Remember, you're going into no contact to heal, not to win her back.

Even if she comes back to you now, who knows when she will find someone else. There's no more trust or security. Let her live her life and you live yours.

Continue with no contact. I suspect that if you continue to be patient with yourself and continue the no contact, you will realize that it's better for both of you to go your separate ways.

There are plenty of fish in the sea and you don't need someone who's going to change her feelings for you so easily.

The 2 weeks will turn into 2 months than 6 months than a year and than after that you ll forget how long it has been since you last contacted her but by then it doesn't matter because you will have other good things going on in your life. Trust me I know.

Trading love for pity was her decision, and you should respect it, and get your own thing to do.

You do well to leave her alone, and move on. I doubt I would listen to anything she had to say though, and would not have any contact with her.

That's real No Contact, what your doing is leaving the door open for her to contact YOU. Just so we are clear.

Yah. Its not real "no contact rule" yet. Because my mind is still thinking that she will come back and apologize for what she did was wrong. But I am sticking with no contact. No phone, sms, email, online, letters. There is no contact at all. I know she loves me so much. She is the one who chase me always. Only now because of pity on that guy. I wonder pity is love or not...

The no contact will help you heal.
It is hard when you are not in the same country and sometimes these situations work out sometimes they don't, it all depends on the commitment you each put. Clearly you were willing to put more into the relationship.
I believe you tried to reason but she told you how she felt and what she had decided, it is sad but all you can do is try not to think about it, not communicate and try and get better.
I wish you all the best, and remember that time always always will eventually heal all wounds

Ok guys, I just want to thanks you all for your help. As you all know my story, I did NC to my ex. After about 45days of NC, I felt I'm ready to go out for datings. So I went out for dating with girls. After about 60days of NC, I got a new girlfriend which is a lot prettier and a lot better in every aspects. I don't say my ex is not good, but just realize that we have to move on our lives and there are many better options out there in life.
My ex girlfriend contact me back, but I explained to her that I can't trust her anymore and I moved on with my current girlfriend. I love my current girlfriend. And I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore. Really appreciate to all of you for support, comfort and suggestions. For some, who are willing to go back to ex, I think the best is apply NC, move on your own life, have fun, back in normal mindset. At that time, even if she come back to you, you might already have better options.