Yeah, stop dwelling.

You guys are over. What's stopping you from realizing that?

Stop worrying about her, & her new boyfriend . Whattya you care anyway? She isn't coming back.

As far as what that girl said, she's telling you to regroup in other words. And she's right.

Spend some deserving time getting to know you before you jump & and cry later.

Doesn't seem like you want to learn from this one.

This girl is no longer in your life.

I was married twice. I was 17 the first time and had no idea what the hell I was doing or what love really was. Lasted 3 years that seemed like 30.

The second time (with 5 years between) I hit the jackpot.
We got along and agreed on almost everything. and could talk out what we didn't agree on.
She was a wonderful mother to our 2 kids and the object of my admiration and love.
Starting in the 11th year of our relationship the pieces began to fall away. We divorced close to the 12 yr mark.

The following YEARSi spent surviving day to day.

It is now over 20 years and on occasion my heart will ache and I still long for that feeling we once shared.

I have many female friends that are close and we share a bond. But none will ever go past that point.

And for me , it is bliss.

When a relationship ends. It takes time to heal, move on and decide your future.

If I can do it anybody can.

The years of struggling day to day that I talked about above, were the first years of becoming a single parent to my ,then, 7 yr old son.

There are so many times in our lives that people, and events, trigger feelings in us, both good, and bad. What we learn is how to cope with those feelings to the best of our ability, and not let them take over our whole lives.

If we don't dwell on them, then they pass, but when we let them just hang around, they keep us from seeing, and enjoying other things that are good, going on around us.

YOUR happiness is YOUR responsibility, and YOUR choice, and YOU could have chosen to focus on a lot of other things besides an surprise encounter with a recent ex. By thinking, and rethinking we just keep re feeling what has gone on instead of changing our focus to something else. I think it was the added information about what she is doing, that magnified things out of proportion, but the solution is the same, put more emphasis on what you can do, and less on what she is doing.

Yea you need to start making a conscious decision to not dwell on her when she pops into your mind. Seriously my ex pops into my mind randomly through out the week - I think about it for about a minute and move on - tomorrow is his birthday and I know him and his new girlfriend will be celebrating but it doesn't bother me - I celebrate on my birthday - my life is good - so why shouldn't he do the same?

Your life will only be as good as you make it. Don't dwell on thinking about her.

You are probably pushing girls away because "none of them compare to your ex". Well you don't want someone who compares to your ex. If they compare to your ex, then its going to be the same situation in the end. Everyone is different - no one will be the same as her - and that's a good thing. You want someone new and unique. There is more than one person out there for everyone - you didn't miss the boat.

Date some people - don't be a jerk to them - don't push them away immediately - and you will find there are a lot of wonderful people in the world. Don't let one person who has obviously moved on ruined the best years of your life.

Dude, you got to let it go... What you had was nice while it lasted, but it's over, so let it be over. There was a thread here that talked a lot about letting go and moving on. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/40-ways-let-go-feel-less-pain-492039.html

You're on a launch pad with a thousand pounds of ex strapped to your back and you're wondering why you can't get off the ground. You got to stop holding onto her.

We're in a similar boat