I think i need to cut ties with a couple more friends of ours.

other thought and i think a couple people will disagree with what i have done.

first off, i have no problem approaching people randomly, males or females its easy to strike a conversation. when it comes to girls i kinda get carried away with flirting where i have to walk away before i dig a grave for myself.

my friend (no connection to ex) is having her 21st Birthday party soon, in the city. she asked me if i was bringing anyone with me. I said i hadn't really thought about it. I thought right away about this girl that i knew, for some reason i never seem to get into the groove when it comes to talking or being around her, whenever i try my best i always mess up. the catch is that she has had feelings for me for the last 4 years, so we haven't done a whole lot of talking cause of my ex. After my ex left, we talked for about 3 weeks. then she got got mad cause she thought i was trying to use her ( i wasn't), so she told me not to contact her, which i did up until about the beginning of this week. today i asked her if she would like to go with me to my friends bday party and she said yes.

Don't get carried away. Dating might be a bit too early for you and you really need to appreciate your time alone. Be frank with her as you know she has feelings for you. I probably have 4 month ahead of you and I'm having a dilemna between the girl I'm going to date on Friday and another girl that has feelings for me and invited me to her party... or girls from my university which are hot or being single.

Actually it's quite a good trait to be able to approach people randomly, I'm almost at this stage but I'm still a bit shy.

Don't get carried away. Dating might be a bit too early for you and you really need to appreciate your time alone. Be frank with her as you know she has feelings for you. I probably have 4 month ahead of you and I'm having a dilemna between the girl I'm going to date on friday and another girl that has feelings for me and invited me to her party... or girls from my university which are hot or being single.

Actually it's quite a good trait to be able to approach people randomly, I'm almost at this stage but I'm still a bit shy.

I doubt things will get carried away. She is the one that pushed me away before so I stayed away, so I doubt she will have that many feelings for me still. But I guess we'll see what happens, the party is in about 2 weeks.

I'm pretty shocked she said yes, I was kind of expecting that she would get mad for me asking her

So I got out of town yesterday after work. During the drive and the time just relaxing last night I thought. Here is what I have come up with.

I settled, I was too comfortable in the relationship and because of that I never pushed for it to become more, nor did she. I also ignored myself, I want to get out and experince new things. I'm look at going sky driving and taking up scuba. But I also ignored the things in life that were important to my success, college, my job, family and that is just not healthy for me. I should not stop growing because my partner isn't growing.

She was the perfect girl for that part of my life, but she wasn't the perfect girl for life. I want someone who is independent, driven in all aspects of their life, and out going. Not saying I want someone who will go try everything, but someone who would like to do something more than just go to the same places and do the same things.

Just my thoughts after a five and a half hour drive. This does not mean I do not have feelings for her, but it does mean that she was important part of me growing up. Good lesson learned.

That is good.
Sounds like you are coming to realize that you two were good for where you were in life, but you both have grown and changed. It's time to move on to the next phase of life.

You should never sacrifice your own growth for someone else, and you should not stop growing because someone left you. I realized that with my ex, I sacrificed a lot of my growth because I was with her. I should never have given her that much importance.

I've been having a hard time lately. My ex before her, has been talking to me a lot. She has been wanting to talk about our past (not a good idea) and what happened between my current ex and I. I have been doing really well with keeping myself occupied with work, social life, reading, learning and what not. I have also slow separated myself from some of my friends that are keeps the situation going.

All and all, life is good. Classes start up in a week. But for some reason I'm just down about all this

Ignore the ex-exs attempts at conversation and keep away from those friends you mentioned.maybe you're a bit down because classes are starting up and things are changing around you even if you are looking forward to this.we all have our moments! Good luck with your education and your life.

I kind of figured my ex ex conversations would be a bad thing. She has seemed to fill in the girlfriend part of my life, except there is nothing going on between us, just talking about life. At the same time when the past is brought up, I just shut down, cause I prefer to not talk about it, I'm looking forward not back. Not saying I'm looking for anything to happen between her and I. (I would prefer if nothing came of her and I again)

Time to ditch the past and create a future that involves an all new outlook.

Yes leave the past where it belongs-in the past.they re exes for a reason.

yes leave the past where it belongs-in the past.they re exes for a reason.

My past ex, I don't not have a problem with. Her and I get along, its just when she wants to talk about my situation or what went wrong when her and I dated. I might just ask her to not talk about what happened for now and what just happened.

I think I need to come up with names, cause this is getting confusing.

Are you talking about this ex?

are you talking about this ex?

No I mean the one that was before her.

Oh yea,
It is getting confusing, didn't know you had another ex, I thought it was your first break up. You should have experience by now :D. Joking aside, first breakup are horrible... lost hair, started getting bald at 22 and my hair started to turn white... but now my hair has grown back and I have no more white hair!

It was a tremendous shock to my body. Honestly if I was able to get back in mental shape, so could you... but I guess you should have by now.

oh yea,
it is getting confusing, didn't know you had another ex, I thought it was your first break up. You should have experience by now :D. Joking aside, first breakup are horrible... lost hair, started getting bald at 22 and my hair started to turn white... but now my hair has grown back and I have no more white hair!

It was a tremendous shock to my body. Honestly if I was able to get back in mental shape, so could you... but I guess you should have by now.

Well my past ex, the break up wasn't as bad of a break up. It was also a shorter relationship.

My current ex was the first serious relationship. So I do consider this my first break up. Yeah I'm pretty much back to normal now. It gets to me every once and awhile, when ever I'm walking around the city. Lately I have been writing at night in a notebook, not just about my ex, but about work, ideas I want to pursue in the future, and what not.

As for the ex before her. I enjoy talking to her, but she has lately said she has feeling for me again. Problem, she has a boyfriend and I am sure as heck not going to do to him what happened to me. Besides I do not want anything to become of her and I.

Update.

She is married...

Wow!

2.5 months for a proposal
An extra month for marriage

That moving right along at a pretty fast pace. I think you dodged a bullet, honestly.

That moving right along at a pretty fast pace. I think you dodged a bullet, honestly.

Yeah, that is what my close friends have told me. It doesn't hurt that much to have found out this information, just a deer in the headlights. Kind of wondering the is going through her mind. Most of my friends are saying it's a failure waiting to happen. Not meaning that will affect my future.

Yep, let's leave it at that. You take care of your life and she will soon try to take care of hers when her marriage doesn't work. Anyhow how you've been doing?

It is amazing that she has made that jump.

I know I'm better off, I know I don't have to do what she has done, but I kind of feel left behind. She has moved so far forward

Glad college started back up. Having been meeting a lot of people in classes and what not. I have settled into a group on the weekends that do poker tournaments. I have been going back to town where she lives, and have become comfortable with doing that. (she isn't going to keep my away from my closest friends)

I wonder if she is pregnant!
Any way you are doing well and will continue to do so.

I wonder if she is pregnant!
Any way you are doing well and will continue to do so.

I feel bad for the child, if that is true. If it is true, that is fine, as long as she doesn't try to act like it is mine and try and get money out of me.

You know it's understandable that you feel left behind. My ex went with someone else and she probably is going to marry him because she is weak and she has a lot of pressure from her family. Though, it's their life and our lives. We try to make our lives much clearer, fuller and healthier.
We are happy to live, we are not living to feel happy like our exes do.
Actually college started for me also. I would suggest you join a group of volunteering, that makes me feel so much better. Also try to get into some of those college parties.

You have to go on with your life now and do something else... find someone else.

I feel bad for the child, if that is true. If it is true, that is fine, as long as she doesn't try to act like it is mine and try and get money out of me.
Well if she thought is was yours I don't think she would be marrying this other guy.
But it could be that she is not pregnant, but is in love and happy. It's a little too soon for marriage and she is too young IMO but it's not the first a couple has fallen in love and married quickly.

Don't let this stay in your mind. Have some fun. You are a free man.

Well if she thought is was yours I don't think she would be marrying this other guy.
But it could be that she is not pregnant, but is in love and happy. It's a little too soon for marriage and she is too young IMO but it's not the first a couple has fallen in love and married quickly.

Don't let this stay in your mind. Have some fun. You are a free man.

I agree. I just found out today.

Paxe: I've been going out almost every night, or meeting up with friends

I agree. I just found out today.

Paxe: I've been going out almost every night, or meeting up with friends

Nice! It looks like you are NOT in electrical engineering like me :D (aka tons of mens in class and little time to party). I'm trying to get out everyday but I have other stuff to do (study, volunteering, sport (very important)). But try also to meet and go out with different people.

Nice! It looks like you are NOT in electrical engineering like me :D (aka tons of mens in class and little time to party). I'm trying to get out everyday but I have other stuff to do (study, volunteering, sport (very important)). But try also to meet and go out with different people.

Yeah, I went with IT, though it is mostly guys. I take an elective here and there to meet people outside of my degree. It seems to be work. Plus I've been lifting at home, but go to the on campus gyms to ran. I have also been meeting a lot of people at the weekend poker tournaments I play in. It's a good crowd to be around for 6 hours, never a dull moment.

I met this give in my scuba class, we talk almost every other day. We usually partner up together during class. My head keeps getting in the way of asking her on a date

Well it does seem you are in a pickle like me :D. I try to meet people through my friends and through my volunteering, or even college parties. I love poker but I'd never go with a poker tournament.
Seriously for meeting people, volunteering is the best. There is a lot of interesting people. And if you're head is not there, then it's not there. Don't force yourself. You just came out of a relationship and you may need some more time alone.

It is a new day, and the only word that seems to come to mind is desperation

It is a new day, and the only word that seems to come to mind is desperation

It is Friday, and the only WORDS that come to my mind are: PARTY TIME!! :cool:

It is Friday, and the only WORDS that come to my mind are: PARTY TIME!!! :cool:

Mine is poker tournament

But as for the mess she is in. That is what comes to mind

Mine is actually sport, party is actually tomorrow :D. Oh and yes, I agree with KC, weekends are for PARTY!

Mine is actually sport, party is actually tomorrow :D. Oh and yes, I agree with KC, weekends are for PARTY!

Paxe you were right. I feel very little about what happened. Though I do want to walk into a empty room and yell. Then go back to training

Well... why do you even get those informations? It's pointless actually.

Well... why do you even get those informations? It's pointless actually.

Well my friend that told me about the engage meant told me. She just doesn't understand what I told her

Sometimes you need to cut off some of your so called "friends" if they treat you that way. If one of my friend did that to me, I wouldn't think twice about leaving them. One of my "friends" tried to date my ex behind my back, I didn't think too much about keeping him as a friend after that.

Sometimes you need to cut off some of your so called "friends" if they treat you that way. If one of my friend did that to me, I wouldn't think twice about leaving them. One of my "friends" tried to date my ex behind my back, I didn't think too much about keeping him as a friend after that.

Stopped talking to this friend about two weeks ago, cause some bs she pulled about the date I was bringing to a party. But she has my phone number, I read the message, but never responded.

Never would have thought in a million years that the outcome would have turned into this. She has now took the plunge into something serious, which has nothing to stand on. It was her decision, but before anything was mended. Lust, not Love.

I know, I was not what she was looking for. I am not at the point in my life where I am ready to get married.

Some people cope with losses in different way. Me and you we get ourselves better, our exes do stupid things. My ex is getting drunk almost all the time, and once she was so drunk last week she vomited, took her top off and then tried to clean her mess and insulted everybody. Your ex married someone in less than 3 month. I believe that life will reward us and we won't suffer as they do, even though I hope that they get a better life than they have now.

Some people cope with losses in different way. Me and you we get ourselves better, our exes do stupid things. My ex is getting drunk almost all the time, and once she was so drunk last week she vomited, took her top off and then tried to clean her mess and insulted everybody. Your ex married someone in less than 3 month. I believe that life will reward us and we wont suffer as they do, even though I hope that they get a better life than they have now.

Right now, the only thing I wish for is to wake up and feel better about my loses, for the pain to fade. (which has happened over the last three and some months since it happened)

I choose to cope with my problem silently. Besides here, I don't really talk to people about it. (just yesterday I told my my father the whole story) It is always a downer in any occasion, and I am trying to move up.

As for her decision. It seems the future only has one course.

It's more than understandable that you have pain. By now you should have realized that this pain does go away especially with NC and taking care of yourself. I would suggest talking to more people about it, it will help you out. Now she has chosen her path and you have chosen yours... Actually life does get better for us, much better than our exes.

In the end of the day, you have taken the right decision of moving on and loving yourself first.

It's more than understandable that you have pain. By now you should have realized that this pain does go away especially with NC and taking care of yourself. I would suggest talking to more people about it, it will help you out. Now she has chosen her path and you have chosen yours... Actually life does get better for us, much better than our exes.

In the end of the day, you have taken the right decision of moving on and loving yourself first.

I finally broke the news to my parents, everything that I hide from them about this for the last month and some. I also talked to my close friends about it, though like some of you said, "well you dodged that bullet", but also said "It will never last, I give it 6 months max"

The last chapter has been written of this. The End

Now time to start a new book.

Thank you all for the help you have given me

Good luck man!

Good luck and god speed