Also...

If she doesn't want to stay with me because of all my problems... then all she's looking for is a payday. I don't have to deal with THAT kind of woman... because ill always be poorer than someone. As for whinning... if I can't tell my sorrows to the one I love, then who can I tell or should tell them to?

Well today is the day.

I let her go. "i stopped loving her today..."

My life begins anew; wish me luck everyone. Ill give you updates on what happens... im sure it will be hard. But I have to do what I have to do.

Thank you for all your help. And ill be trying to help people here! :)

You don't just stop "loving" someone. It isn't a button. The sooner you come to terms with your lack of control over your feelings, the sooner you can heal. If you continue treating this NC and healing thing like it is a step rather than a process, you are doomed to be in pain constantly.

kctiger... what do you mean by "lack of control" of your emotions? Please explain what you mean by a process and not a step

Thanks

You have said over and over on this thread how you are going to just "do" something that requires more than words. This is a process: a bunch of steps that make up a desired end. It requires action, self control, patience and most of all, determination. It isn't about saying you are going to do something, it is about putting in the time and effort required to actually do it.

I think what he means is, and I could be wrong. A step is something that is done quickly and not much difficulty, while a process is an everyday struggle. Think of it as an addiction, the first couple weeks/months are terrible because of how addicted you were before. Everyday will be a battle, for which you need a lot of strength

Oh... ok I get it... thanks romefalls19

Yeah... it is a struggle but today I'm going to begin.

It is not nice to yell and hit things.. for both a lady and a man..
So I understand what you mean..

I believe your girlfriend is a bit selfish... She probably thinks that you won't get over her and are going to reach her some way or another, so that's why she hasn't been communicating with you too much. Once she notices you are not really communicating then she might start to communicate to get you to like her again, even if she doesn't want to start the relationship over. I don't know how to explain the selfishness... but I hope you get it.
I really hope you stick to your word and not try to communicate with her after you finally decide it is over. If she communicates with you then that is another thing.
So far you have stood up for yourself and, in my opinion, you have showed her that you are a man from all the things you have done since the breakup.
Keep it up but don't do it with mixed feelings..
Obviously you are going to meet new girls who are pretty, but when you do decide to date one, date her because of her personality. I think it might help better to get over your ex, especially if she is fun.

Just because your girlfriend is pretty and you guys have good sex, doesn't mean that she is special...
Goodluck with your decision to move on forward.. its going to be hard, but you'll overcome it.

Unspeaken: I have to disagree a bit with you. If it takes another girl to get you over your ex, then I don't think you are even ready to date. There are soooo many other things you can do to move on without having to date another person. The fact that so many people feel scared to be alone (without a significant other) is a problem with insecurity, and no woman will solve that problem. It would be pretty selfish to use another girl to get your over your ex...

Crazy, don't date, just feel yourself out, re-invent yourself, and have fun.

The following are things I vote for to do to help recover and take up free time

1. Gym
2. Sports
3. Friends
4. Xbox

Oh, and about the whining thing...
Its okay if you are whiny... Just as long as you are doing something about...
From my personal experience, my partner kept whining and never did anything about it, I would try to help him out, but he kept saying its too hard, or I can't do that, or some other lame excuse.. and I hated it... all I wanted for him to do was to get off his a** and do something about it, no matter how small..

Unspeaken: I have to disagree a bit with ya. If it takes another girl to get you over your ex, then I don't think you are even ready to date. There are soooo many other things you can do to move on without having to date another person. The fact that so many people feel scared to be alone (without a significant other) is a problem with insecurity, and no woman will solve that problem. It would be pretty selfish to use another girl to get your over your ex...

Crazy, don't date, just feel yourself out, re-invent yourself, and have fun.

I completely agree with you 100%

What I meant was that he shouldn't rush into dating because it seemed as if he might when he said he met 3 pretty ladies... so I just said what I said before so he doesn't just get it on to quickly...

Thank you all so much for your comments! They really help me. And unspeaken21... yeah she is selfish. Our mutual friend told her that she shouldn't "use" me when she gets lonely... for me to go over and do it with her and all... she told him that "she doesnt feel that way"

And, he told her that if she doesn't love me then to break it off... because I sure do love her!

How about that guys? And the thing is that he was HER friend from childhood... hes defending me!!

You wouldn't need defense if you would actually quit LETTING her do these things to you.

Just sayin'

That's my problem.. and if she did break up, then I want her back because I love her. I admit i have NO self respect anymore and she probably doesnt respect me ..but I don't care... I want what I want and I want her!! Please help me


Just waiting for you to progress beyond this point!! Then we can talk, and you can get busy.

Interesting comment talaniman...

I'm going to think about that. Really think.

Does anyone else out there agree with talaniman?

Please let me know...

Yes. Without self respect you can't really have the determination to get through this... if you don't respect yourself, then your effort will only be half a$$, as you don't really care enough to do this.

I completely agree with Tal, we have all been trying so nicely to keep you moving in the right direction and listening to you talk backwards and with empty thoughts.

You are still in No Contact which is wonderful, but you are still in some delusion that she will come running back to you and I know right now if she called you, you would go back.

Not uncommon, but it's not healthy and your progress seems one step for every two regressive steps. We want to see you out of this, but it's almost like you spend too much time STILL thinking about it when you should be thinking about you and new things you could be doing to move forward with your life, you are taking an exceptionally long self-pity/denial stage. We just want to help you PROGRESS forward beyond this stage.

crazyoverher... just bite the bullet and go through... whenever you start to think of her, force yourself to stop that thinking by doing something... whatever you enjoy doing etc.

Is normal to feel the pain and grief once awhile, but just be determine enough to endure... soon everything will get better... day by day... good luck...

When i get in to fights with my partner, sometimes i just want him to man up, when he doesnt i just feel helpless. Sometimes, we girls, like to see men, its not that she wanted you to go overline and yell and slap her, she just wanted to see you stand up to yourself because she craves the tougher side of you...

You should not have changed your number and all the other crazy things you did. Girls like attention, so she probably wanted you to do some great gesture, Actions are everything to a woman.
And most couples who have been in a really long relationship usually get back together..

You know, you seem like a nice guy, i think in time she would have came back to you...
I hate all the people that say you should get laid... its not a solution. what you need to find is someone else who will replace your ex and mean more to you.
You wont have a hard time finding someone, you seem nice..
However, i do believe you will get back together with your ex. But u sort of may have ruined it by changing all your personal contacts.

(this is a reply to you a few days ago, im relplying seperatly as i go, otherwise i will forget)

Wow unspeaken21, is really different in ladies point of view, I mean I would like to hear your opinion too at my post, hope you can leave me a comment. Thanks in advance.


Anyway crazyoverher, I think I being a hardcore fan of your post already. Haha... once I log in to this site, I will look for your post and hope to hear your update. Because I really hope you could, like what others say, get better soon.

Its been sad when sometimes I heard about your scenario, because I too face the similar situtation but my relationship with my ex is shorter.

Anyway, I just want to say, the thing to worry about is not about getting her back or wanting to let her know you had changed. The thing now is for you to be confident about yourself, gaining back your self-respect or just simply be happy with yourself. Do things for yourself. Don't do anything because you want to let her know you had changed etc.
Changed overall for yourself only, for what you are happy with. Only when you are happy with yourself, people will feel happy to be around you right ?

So now go get busy to find a job soon ! Good luck!

We will hear from you again ~ :p

Justwantfair.. mrpigz.. kc... everyone.

OK. I will try like hell to get through this stage and your right, if she called id take her back. I will try to build up my selfrespect and also do other things when I start to think of her.

I will endure...

Wow mrpigz... you hit DEAD on... with how I feel right now!

I have done that in the past... tried to show her I changed.. etc. and it seemed to work though... she came back and all was good UNTIL she saw me again, not good enough.

I remember that when I first met her.. the thing that attracted her to me was that I was the "" confident... didnt take any crap.. etc. of course I had a job and a lot of money back then too!! Hahaha...

But anyway, yeah, I agree, I need to change and be happy just for me. I was happy for about 3 days last week.

I just told myself... why are you being so sad? You have this.. and that... so just be happy and enjoy yourself...

And then, I started thinking of her again and how I miss her, love her... etc. and it got me down... especially the part of wondering WHY SHE LEFT ME AND WHAT I DID AND WHY SHE Doesn't WANT ME ANYMORE...

So your post helped me a lot. I can be happy without her. Its just that a part of me wishes that I was happy WITH HER and not without...

Hey everyone...

I know that this is going to sound weird... im not a "jesus" freak (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

But I went to the gym today.. and the water fountain was not working... so someone told me to go use another one in the gym... anyway, when I went to get a drink, I looked up and noticed a sign that read:

"I am too busy to be sad.
Too positive to be discouraged
Too determined to be defeated."

Odd. It's the only sign in the gym. Coincidence? Me wanting to find meaning? I don't know... just know that its weird.. with everything going on and all...

Comments?

Yep. I saw signs all the time.

Did you really imtotallylost?

Or are we just WANTING to see things?

Yeah. Most of it were signs that I should keep moving on, and a lot of them were signs that I wasn't doing the right thing (like being mean to my ex or things like that). Most of it were in songs. It was like I was thinking of something and I heard this song on the radio which related to what I was thinking.

I did become a heck more spiritual after this break-up, having a lot to do with me not being able to understand what was going on and at some point having to let the universe take care of everything else and me taking care only of myself.

Hmmmm...

I guess all I can do is accept and give up any control I think or want to have. Just let it be.

Some things we can't control and can't change or prevent.

In my opinion... the sign meant for me that whatever happens... im responsible or accountable to myself ultimately. No one can help me do it but me. It was like someone was telling me that... weird.

Yeah. If you want to read my story, you'll get more details, but basically I was left without really knowing why and I can't really find a flaw in my relationship - except that it was LDR and that she wanted to end it.

So I had to give up understanding what happened, and I have to give up fighting for a woman I really wanted but there was nothing I could do about it. So I just had to leave all the mess to God (or whoever else) to sort it up and take care of myself.

I guess I discovered how strong real love is. I guess this was my spiritual epiphany.

That sign is a good sign. Just don't let any sign make you call your ex ;-).

Seriously, though, you are right. Take care of yourself and you'll be fine.

You mentioned you saw signs. Read positive books and fill your head with positive things. Read over and over, because at this time your brain will go negative and keep the focus there. Don't wait for signs, put them there for you to feed off.

Imtotallylost...

What was your spiritual ephany?

By the way... im going to go read your story to get the full scoop but if you could please some crib notes ;)

Signs could also be over interpreted, over analyzed. But reconizing them as that could make positive changes for you

Hi everyone...

Just wanted to say that I'm feeling pretty good today. Fyi. :)

hi everyone.....

just wanted to say that im feeling pretty good today. fyi. :)

So grab a green beer (non alcoholic for you babies) and start celebrating... :D

Thanks kctiger... hope you have good st.pats. Day too!

Hi everyone! Happy st patty day!

Just wanted to let youall know an update...

I received an email from our mutual friend... but I decided to NOT open it today... just didn't want to deal with anything he has to say she said... ill let you know tomorrow what's up.

You know, I think back now at our relationship.. and I feel so stupid. That I let ANYONE talk to me that way. Especially, someone that said that she loved me.

I wouldn't have any respec t for me either if I was her. To treat me so poorly and me just take it is abominable. I will NEVER let someone be abusive like that to me again...

I was blinded by her beauty and her $EX. And, me wanting to keep her happy above everything, inculding myself.

Anyway...

Update for you guys...

Our mutual friend just wrote me an email saying that he's there for me... etc.

And he said that my GF is going through a lot of stress in her family life right now but that she loves me still more than ever... at least that what he thinks. Anyway, he tells me to NOT let go of my love for her and that he will call me later today.

Now what? Is the $hit I am in? Uggh!

Tell your friend to get out of your business, because you don't want to hear about someone else business. It's that simple, and maybe that's the lesson to be learned... don't get caught up in someone else's opinion, and good intentions, when it comes to your own best interest.

He thinks he is doing you a favor, but isn't, and its up to you to express that to him.

Stay focused, you were doing well!
Actions speak louder than words... forget what she has 'said'..
You have a mission - stick to nc, heal, better yourself for your own good and you will find that self respect and self love will come your way... then when you least expect it.. that special one may just come along, who knows!!
Give it a try my friend

Arzy

UPDATE!!

Hi everyone...

I wanted to tell you the latest here. Our mutual friend gave me a call and told me that my GF wrote HIM a long letter.

I know its wrong, but we have been using him as an intermediary of sorts. She especially.

I already emailed her and told her how I felt, gave her ultimatum.. etc as everyone on here knows!

Anyway, he called and told me that he will call me later TODAY to discuss what she wrote.

Now here's the deal... if she wanted to be with me, then she would right? She would have contacted me, as I told her right? Help me out here please!

So, I'm thinking she wrote him to tell ME a "dear John" letter. Whatever the reasons... blah blah.

I need some advice please for you all. ANYTHING!

OUR friend didn't sound very positive when he was telling me this.

So, I'm thinking that its probably BAD news and that she's dumping me again... blah blah.

I figure that when he calls me back later today, that I should ask him if its GOOD NEWS or BAD NEWS... and if he says BAD news... then I'm thinking of telling him NOT TO TELL ME ANYTHING MORE! Don't get into what she said in the letter etc... dont say ANYTHING more.

I know I'm being a wimp here, because of how I still want her back even though she's done all this to me... I was thinking that maybe THIS time, I could CHANGE how she acts towards me... etc... blah blah.

But yet at the same time, I have really gotten a lot of respect for myself and from this forum and everyone on it. Like I said I would be even more of a mess if it wast for Everybody here! But I still feel conflicted. Damn me for being this way.

Anyway, I got to tell everyone here that I'm kind of sick to my stomach about hearing this. I have myself respect slowly coming back but if he tells me that its bad news... I am going to feel like $hit. Its crazy... but id rather not know HER reasons or excuses.

HELP!

Hop into the nearest vehicle you can find, drive to where I live, and run me over!! You're killing me Smalls!!

Utilize the letter for toilet paper... that's my two cents.

Leave her she does not respect you, you deserve better.

If you want to keep yourself respect and everything, then simply tell him you do not wish to know what it said. She has your number, she knows where you live, she has two able legs to walk her high self centered arse over to your house and explain why she was a selfish b*tch

Hi Crazyover,

Everyone here is right. You do not deserve this. You are getting yourself respect back. I know you want to know what the letter said, but if it is negative, you don't want or need anymore hurt from this woman. You are way to good for her and her imature behavior.

That's what I figured everyone...

Ill just tell our friend that I Don't want to hear any of it. But let me ask you, if he blurts out that she said that she will hook up with me later on... what do I tell him?

I figured id tell him that SHE knows where to find me. Right?

Yeah, I think that I DO deserve better than that! Not to mention all that she is putting me through.

She is very self centered and high and mighty isn't she? I mean all of you are right, if it WAS good news then she would have contacted me. You know, I'm thinking that I'm going to tell him that I Don't WANT TO HEAR what she wrote! Period. And that she does know how to reach me IF she accepts my ultimatum. If not... to leave me alone forever.

Isn't THAT the right thing to say?

Yeah, I just can't stand any more hurt from her. It has effect my relationship with my family as they tell me that I'm soooo down and out. I happen to agree.. but lately with your help, they have noticed a positve change in me.

My opinion: cut both her and your friend out of your life... perhaps forever, UNLESS your friend can handle not talking about her around you. You have way too many attachments to her right now, and he is only serving as an enabler to this drama... I have never seen such immature games go on between two people who AREN'T even together!

Enough games. Don't say anything, period, that is the right thing to do. Tell him that you are finished with this stuff and end it at that. This is similar to playing the game "Battleship" where every single piece in your fleet has been sunk yet you are still trying to play the game! GAME OVER!

I've been thinking about that kctiger. I've been thinking that I don't know if I could still BE his friend... because he DOES talk about her Every time I see him or he calls or whatever.

He continues to be close to her as is evident. Let me ask you something... kctiger...

U say that you've NEVER seen such immature game like behavior. I don't want any compliments if even you think that way... but do YOU think that I've been a good guy THROUGHOUT this ordeal?

Thnks

I feel like she's lead me all long... that she's played me for a long time now. If she tells me that shed get back with me I barked at the moon, I would and THEN shed find some other reason to not want to be with me.. until I do something else.. sheesh

I am not one to judge or say you have been a good guy throughout this ordeal. I give advice on here merely from experience and to help those NOT make the same mistake I have. If I judged you on that alone, you would get a C+ or so... however I can't give you a bad grade for being human... we have all been down that road before, it just sucks to watch someone you are trying to help fall in the same traps. I am also FAR from being an expert, as there are many others on here better at giving advice than I am. I just give my two cents and hope you combine that with the advice of others' and then make a rational choice from there.

That seems fair enough...

I have been using Everyone's advice on how to handle this.

It almost seems that our friend is getting off on being the 3rd party to relay all of this to me and to keep it going.. he calls me and asks "how u doin man" how you holding up"

Haha. You need to dump your friend ;-).

Yeah... I hear u.

I think your right IMtotallylost. I guess after today ill start using the NC rule on him as well! :)

I don't know... my curiosity is getting the better of me... u guys really think its positive?

If anything, I'm thinking that at best it would be: "WAIT FOR ME" type of $hit...

Again, I'll be the controversial guy here but, here's what I suggest.

Ask your friend to forward this e-mail or give you the letter, if it was addressed to you. If it's not, then find out what was the message she wanted to give you. The reason is that you already know she has something to say and you're dying out of curiosity. It might be good or it might be bad but either way you'll be crushed. But it's better being crushed than engaging in this compulsive behavior you're in right now. Sometimes we need to do something really stupid that we know is not going to end well just to understand that a stupid move is really stupid.

Independent of the message contents, what you need to do next is nothing. And I mean I. Don't answer or do anything. If you feel you really need to answer, come here and vent. Then, ask your "friend" to never relay a message to you ever again. If she wants to talk to you, she MUST look for you directly. If you're friend think you're being unreasonable, dump him. He has no business playing the middleman between you two.

I mean, I'm saying that because you are dying out of curiosity. In the ideal world of perfect dumpees, we just get out of the scene quietly, never to be heard of again. But we do our foolish things sometimes. Because we are stupid. It's not good, it's stupid. But it seems to me that there are some things we have to learn the hard way. At least, I did. To be honest, I feel there are a lot of things I'll have to learn the hard way ;-)

My sister is EXACTLY the same with men... she KNows she's hot and she uses it... makes men fall for her then she's off... but the thinh is babe the more you go crawling back the more she will do it to you!

If you stand up for yourself and say "fu*k it" fine lets leave it, play it cool , don't text her let her come running to you, perhaps she will gain back respect for you. Some women (particulally ones like her) as soon as a man becomes putty in their hands, I hate to say it, but I think it's a case of treat her mean to keep her keen lol

Wow.

Those are really different approches to the issue! Thanks for your input. I think that yes, although I am DYING to know what the heck she has to say... I am just going to tell him NOT to tell me anything.

Good or bad.

If she wants me, she knows what my demands are. If she doesn't... then she doesn't have to do anything.

The thing is... I am coming to realize that there are other fish in the sea who are just as pretty as she is. I'm not going to date but its just that my eyes are open a little more.

I'm not sure if I can have a friendship with this guy because one way or another... he WILL bring her up. I guess ill talk to him tonight or tomorrow... tell him not to say anything to me about the letter and then... not contact him until he contacts me... which will be within a weeks time.

The thing is that I know this guy and he will tell her that I didn't want to hear anything. I know HER and so do all of you out there... my fear is that she will either say F*C* me - OR will go psycho and start emailing me or showing up at my apt unannounced that kind of stuff. Although she has NEVER done that before.. I don't want to underestimate her. She gets crazy sometimes... and if she's drunk with her whore friends... god knows what would happen...

But, that being said, she told our friend that she put a LOT of thought to the letter and that is very very long. He's just being a good guy I think in wanting to tell me about it.. but he is HER friend first... you know?

I'm not sure if she will get upset with me not "crawling" back as I have ALWAYS done before... the thing is... im NOT playing any games anymore. EVERYONE here has helped me out in that way.. to realize that I'm too good to be treated like she has treated me and that she's not pretty on the inside...

Comments please!

I just don't know how upset she will get when he tells her that I didn't want him to give me her message in the letter...

Sure... she didn't respond to my emails... and now she thinks that I should respond to hers because SHE put some "thought" into it? And what did I do when I wrote my emails..? Seems very one sided to me. She showed me no respect and still isn't right everyone?

Show ill return the favor.

Hi Crazy,

You should try not to worry about whether she will be mad that you don't want your friend to tell you what is in the letter. You have gone above and beyond for this girl, and she is being quite insensitive. You are the better person here, and you are protecting yourself by not wanting to know. If she gets mad that is her problem, not yours at all. She will show her immaturity.

Thanks starlite1...

Yeah in not "scared" of her... I just didn't want her to go crazy out of revenge. Guess not much I can do about it one way or another... so ill take your advice, and hope she doesn't slash my tires or something! :O

I appreciate you telling me that I have gone above and beyond for her. That means a lot to me and everyone out there. It tells me OBJECTIVELY that I have been in the right - trying to be good to her.

Hon, she is the one that has the issues, not you. I know it is so hard when breakups happen, but honestly, you can do better. I don't mean to pass judgement on your girlfriend, but what I've read so far, you can and deserve so much better.

Did you tell your friend that you don't want to hear about the letter?

No starlite1...

I haven't spoken to him yet. He called earlier in the day but hasn't called back and I turned off my phone.. I don't want any drama for the evening. Ill talk to him and tell him tomorrow... I just hope he doesn't EMAIL me the letter or anything... before I tell him I don't want him to tell me anything!!

Im proud of you crazy! That's good that you turned your phone off. If he does e-mail you, you can always delete it, you know?

Thnks! :)

Yeah... I WILL delete his email... but I don't think he'll send it without talking to me.. but you never know...

Its been a crazy month since she gave me a valentines day card that said ill love you forever.. spend my life with u.. etc... and then hasn't spoken or seen me since!

Not self pity here... just the facts... how insesitive and cold of her. Do you believe in karma? Jk

I do believe in karma, and you are right, she was completely heartless and insensitive. But, you know what? You are seeing her true colors. They aren't pretty colors, and I know you are hurting right now, but you will find someone new, who will treat you with respect and the love that you deserve.

Even if your friend doesn't call you your thinking right about not opening the email so you won't read the letter.

This ex of yours is a colorful character and like you said way at the beginning of this thread "you want what you want and you wanted her" but even though you changed your way of talking, kudos for you, now this seems to be her way of thinking. However she isn't afraid of adding drama to the mix.

Just keep your head up and stay positive with a strong stance.

Thanks everyone! I'm going to head to bed...

Ill let you all know what's up tomorrow!

Went to bed and got back up... decided to delete my new email that my GF has because of our mutual friend got from me and then passed it out to her, without my consent.

So now... she doesn't have my phone number unless he gave it to her, email address... neither of them do. However, they know where I work and they could email me there though...

Anyway... im just doing allthat I can to end all contact... :)

:-)

I'm proud of you.

Three hundred and twenty one people have given you advice.

You could write a short story from this,get it printed and help people to understand how the grieving process of breaking up works.

Take a little from everyone ,as I am sure you have and create something good from your experience,pass it on :)

Thanks imtotallylost! And you too artlady... maybe that would be cool huh? Helping out people from my experience. :) I sure as hell don't want anyone to go through what I have... but anyway... tomorrow is another day with more challenges... itll be rough I know because our friend IS going to call me and it will be tough to tell him I don't want ot her any of it.

I hate this. I hate being put in this situation as if I am the bad guy. All that I did was to want to be loved by this woman and for her to let me love her... and we did for 5 years...

And then it all blew up in smoke.

In a way... I feel gulity of leaving her.. if that makes sense... I love her so much that I don't want her to have any pain. And no I'm not a psycho and a massochist... I truly loved her with all my might.

And I really think that she did too but according to our friend she says tha I took too long to do it. So now... she needs to take care of herself and takes the approach that if I am doning this now... then I was the one that didn't want this relationship and hense she has a right to be mean to me... etc...

For what its worth... ive been saying my prayers when I go to bed... hedk by this pointk, I have nothing to lose by asking god to help me out here... adn to trust in what he thinks is the right thing to happpen...

Rambling here...

It makes a lot of sense to feel like being the bad guy. I feel exactly that way. But you can't help it. You're not doing this because you want to. You're doing this because it's the only sane thing for you to do.

Hi... yeah... its the only choice I have... gotta protect myself now. Look out after myself.

Our friend tried calling me yesterday but like I said I had it off... he left a voicemail but I deleted it!

Not sure if I want to talk to him today or not... maybe on Monday. I don't know... any opions out there about what to do?

Being able to step away from a bad situation, and regrouping is a good step. Whether you realize it, or not, your slowly getting a clear head back, and I have no doubt, given time, you'll look back, and be able to see the life lessons this experience has given you.

You will be stronger, better, and much more experienced, in how to deal with your own feelings, and the actions of others.

Sadly your ex is using your friend, to affect you through him, and he mistakenly, has tried to act in your interest, and helping you get her back.

You do need to explain to him, that kind of help is not needed, nor wanted. When he gets it, you will truly be free to heal, because you have cut all contact with her, and you can get to work on you, without her influence.

talaniman... im glad to hear that you think that I am getting a clear head back although slowly.

Yes... I will tell our mutual friend that I don't want to hear about her anymore. Ill say that she knows what to do and its her choice.

To tell you the truth, everyone out there...
Maybe because its been a month since I have seen or spoken to her but although I do miss her- I don't miss her as much. And, I'm starting to feel like she's not real... if that makes sense?

Like she has been a part of my life for so long, but at the same time its as if maybe she's "not here" anymore... I don't know weird feeling.. anyone out there understand me or have felt like this? What does that mean? Wonder if SHE feels the same way...

Also... is she really using him to affect me? What does that say about her?

Comments please...

That she is being a coward; she feels she can't say what she has to say to you, so she is being an imature coward and using your friend as the mediator.

I wonder why she's so afraid to tell me face to face?

Well, everybody... I have a little setback. :( I was going through my email to clean it up and I ran across an email of hers about 3 months ago.. I didn't read it but she attahed a small picture of herself on the header... and I saw it and I thought to myself... "shes so pretty"... miss her... anyway, yeah I know she not on the inside but it did tug at my heart a little.

Any suggestions? I have tons of pix of her... g rated and xxx rated... I would hate to delete all of them since she was a part of my life but I don't know if its good for me to keep them...

Help!

i wonder why shes so afraid to tell me face to face?

well, everybody...i have a little setback. :( i was going through my email to clean it up and i ran across an email of hers about 3 months ago..i didnt read it but she attahed a small picture of herself on the header....and i saw it and i thought to myself..."shes so pretty"...miss her...anyway, yeah i know she not on the inside but it did tug at my heart a little.

any suggestions? i have tons of pix of her...g rated and xxx rated...i would hate to delete all of them since she was a part of my life but i dont know if its good for me to keep them...

help!

Delete all the email addresses, msn accounts, myspace accounts, delete the g rated photos, send the xxx photos to me, delete the xxx rated photos.

Put the pics somewhere away from you, not easily accessible to you. Box them up, put them in a really inconvenient place so you won't just go back to them...

Also... anyone have any suggestions on hearing songs that play on the radio? There are a lot that remind me of "US"... she once told me that when we broke up last time, songs came on that reminded her of me... I didn't experience that "feeling" at that time but I am this time...

also....anyone have any suggestions on hearing songs that play on the radio? there are a lot that remind me of "US"....she once told me that when we broke up last time, songs came on that reminded her of me...i didnt experience that "feeling" at that time but i am this time....

Actually, I recommend you listen to comedy tapes for a while. They are funny so they make you laugh, and you listen to something else until those songs lose their meaning. You can also change the type of music you listen to.

Anytime you hear a song that reminds you of her, turn to another station, quick. That is what I would do when I would hear a song that reminded me of ex's.

OK... thanx for the tips!!

chuff.. the xxx rated pix are in your email! ;)

Don't post them online, she might see them... jk.

Guys... n gals... our mutual friend just called me... didnt answer... im going to call him back in a few... im going to tell him what I told to you and hope he doesn't blurt anything out or tell me "thats for the best" or any of his commentary. Wish me luck!

Good Luck Crazy! Keep us all posted. We are on your side here.

All right everybody... update:

I just spoke to our mutual friend and before he said anything.. I told him that I didn't want to her ANYTHING about what she had to say or about what she wrote in her "long" letter.

I told him that I said ALL that I needed to in my letters to her.

He seemed kind of surprised but he respected my wishes and didn't talk about her. I got to admit I was nervous and I really didn't want to talk to him but I did.

I of course, told her that I loved her.. damnit. And then he told me to my objection.. that she said that she loves me too. O brother.

Anyway... that the update... im SURE she's going to be surprised that I didn't want to know what her letter said... also... he told me that she was asking him... "have you talked to him yet? hows he doing".. etc...

He told me that she is going to lose her job in 2 weeks.. they are shutting down her office due to the economy!

Comments guys!!

Round and round we go, where we end up at, nobody knows. Leave it alone. The advice doesn't change just because she gives you a bone.

yeah... she does give me a bone... F^*K!

well at least I got it over with... I don't have to talk to our friend too much anymore.. and of course I don't have to deal with her either.

round and round... I hear you.

Yeah... seems like she is trying to make me hold on to her through our friend... telling me those things through him... he** she probably loves her last BF too.. u know? Doesn't mean that she wants to get with him or me. I'm upset but mostly at myself for feeling like that with her... im going to hang tough... fyi.

Know what people?

I've really been thinking about everything... "yesterday" today... tomorrow...

As much as I want to... I just can't "hate" her for what she's put me through...

I don't want to be angry anymore. Ill keep everyone posted on what happens.. dont know what will... im sure our friend will talk to me soon... so ull know...

Tonight, I forgive her.

And let her go.

It just sounds to me like you've been entertaining a crowd of.. wait there was no crowd. going round and round, but finally you are seeing the picture.

Hi Crazy,

That is fine that you don't hate her. That shows that you are a stand up guy who knows how to love, and that is a great quality and shows a lot of positives about you! You are doing the right thing here by having no contact and minimal contact with your mutual friend. It is better for you that way. Good for you!

and let her go.
You have said that before. Words mean nothing, without the actions, to back them up!

Tal is right, you need to let her go and really move on from her.

Well everyone.. wanted you to know that I had a fun time today hanging out with m friends.

I thought that I "Might" want to take their advice and "do it" with a girl I meet at the club... but... as much as I wanted to feel "it" again... I didn't do it.

Not because of HER... and that I feel obligated to her or anything, but because I didn't feel it in my heart. What a wussy huh? Lol. :(

Anyway, just wanted everyone to know how I was doing...

All right, lets get something clear: There is nothing "wussy" about not having sex with a girl.

Look, to me, and a few other guys on here (Rome as well) sex is a bit more that just meaningless physical contact. Just because you don't have sex with random girls you meet doesn't make you a "wuss." Do it when you are ready, and I promise you, if you do it just to "get back on the horse" or just to make your friends happy, you will feel like sh!t. Don't treat a girl like an object that is there just to help you get your manhood back. Be more classy than that.

When I was going through this, I found that just a good conversation with an attractive girl made me feel good about myself. You don't need to "close the deal" just to satisfy your ego.

Yeah... I hear you. I though that it was meaningless so I Didn't do anything. Thanks for the encourament and advice... ill just wait until it feels right...

Had to spread the rep KC... I completely agree! Great advice!.
Crazy, just give it time and lots more time.. you will start to feel good about yourself when u do things for YOURSELF!. Don't think about all of this as a setback, its an opportunity.. a perfect opportunity to grow, develop and improve yourself!. once you do, yourself esteem will be back on top!
Good luck

Thanks Arzy99...

I'm going to try to... I am trying to look at it that way.. an opportunity to grow and develop my "relationship" skills and just me in general.

I don't want to sound like I have a lot of self pity by saying that I will "improve" myself for the better etc... you know, a lot of people SAY that just to make themselves feel better. But I am not looking at it in THAT way..

Just want to heal and not be sad about it all and about all the time I feel like it might have been "wasted" I mean.. it wasn't wasted per se... but considering we wanted to get married a month ago... its kind of crazy..

But like everyone says, better for this to happen than to be in an unhappy or DRAMA marriage!

Crazy two things.

One I hope you change your screen name because it appears that you are no longer crazy over her, but rather starting to see her BS or perhaps becoming crazy about improvement.

Second thing is I hope you can see the positive improvements you've made just over the weekend. Hold onto this momentum because you are coming around. If you start to feel down, focus back to this weekend and everything you did right, and how YOU were in control, even with another girl ready to go. You NOT being a wussy and instead a man with a backbone decided what was best for you at that time and choose to follow through. That should be motivating for you, so hold onto it and grow from here.

Thanks guys! :)

You all are a real support group!!

I was in control this weekend.. I went out and played softball and told myself that "i was going to have fun and feel good about it." ill tell you though, I DID do that BUT I did feel a little "GUILTY" for feeling that way. Its weird, its like when I feel good, I think... "hmm, maybe i shouldnt because SHE isnt around" - if anyone knows what I mean or feel. Its like, I shouldn't feel happy if she's not around because I never did.

Even so, I did feel good about 80% of the time. And when I didn't, I played more and forgot about that feeling. It seems when I have a lot of time on my hands, my mind wanders. Anyway any commetns would be great!

Thnkx

Well everyone... today... I was a busy guy.

As I was driving, I thought about HER and you know what? It really didn't bother me that I wasn't with her! I thought about all the fre%kn drama that I would go through if she was with me and although I sure do think she's FRE$KIN HOT... id rather be "calm" with no drama.

Anyway, I wasn't very sad about that. And her memory at least for today was far away. It was more like me remembering someone than actually experiencing the BREAKUP or in my case, the WHO KNOWS breakup!

Just an update for everyone...

People... damn setback...

Went drinking with my friends tonight... feeling really buzzed and I got to tell you all... I miss her warm naked body against mine when I lie in bed. >:

What am I supposed to do? I miss the love only a woman can give. Anyone got advice for me? Because, I'm not out there trying to F%ck anyone... I just am kind of lonely in bed...

Thanks

people........damn setback...

went drinking with my friends tonight....feeling really buzzed and i gotta tell u all....i miss her warm naked body against mine when i lie in bed. >:

what am i supposed to do? i miss the love only a woman can give. anyone got advice for me? cuz, im not out there trying to F%ck anyone...i just am kinda lonely in bed....

thnx

The love only a woman can give? Your ex didn't give you that so when you start thinking like that be grateful you don't have her.

You have to turn the negative thoughts into positive ones.

Oh yeah... I guess your right. She didn't give me that kind of love. She just used me... at least that's what our mutal friend said. "you shouldnt call him for just a booty call, because he loves you..." and she said... "i dont see it that way"

>:

oh yeah....i guess your right. she didnt give me that kind of love. she just used me....at least thats what our mutal friend said. "you shouldnt call him for just a booty call, because he loves you..." and she said...."i dont see it that way"

>:

Nothing against her friend but you got to cut her out of your life. First, friends lie because they tell you what you want to hear. Second, getting messages like the one above do not help you move forward. This is your time now, accept it and stop allowing negative messages from the outside corrupt it.

Ok. Thanks for your input! I'll keep the faith and try not to talk to him although eh calls to tell me about her and all..

Ok. Thanks for ur input! I'll keep the faith and try not to talk to him although eh calls to tell me about her and all ..

Change the subject. There is no reason to continue talking about her. If you have to tell him you don't want to talk about her anymore. He should understand.

I will do that next time Chuff! Thanks... ill let you know... he said he was going to give me a buzz in a day or two..

All right everyone... yall shouldve warned me... although I shouldve known myself...

Drinking is NOT a good idea. It makes me dwell...

Makes me want to break NC.

You have come to far to break NC now. Think of it like this. Have you ever listned as one of your friends have told you a story of something very stupid they have done while drunk. You know like driving, sleeping with someone they would not if they were not drunk, saying something stupid, and so on. Well you are about to do something very stupid.

Don't do it. It hurts I know. But do any thing but that. Listen to musc what ever. You're a Cowboys fan... we are stronger than that!!

No worries everyone... I forced myself to go to bed. SO NO NC is STILL in effect! :)

Wow, its been a while since I've had contact with her... havent seen her since February 14... havent "heard" any text from her since Feb. 27th ish...

What does she look like again?? Jk.

You will have to watch it with the alcohol. It will lower your inhibitions, and make you a tad more vulnerable to your emotions. The best thing to do is give your phone to one of your good friends if you go out for a night, so you won't be able to drunk text or drunk dial her. Believe me, it makes you look like a complete a$$ for doing so (yes, I am speaking from multiple experiences). You wake up the next morning not only hungover, but feeling like a total jacka$$!

Drunk calls make you look like a jackarse... who would have known.

I always think I am so much cooler when I am drunk... who doesn't love the drunk version of me?? What a crazy thought.

You are doing well, Crazy. Good job sending yourself to bed, at least you have nothing to wake up and regret this morning. :D

Thanks everyone... yeah, I really wanted to send a drunk email, text to her last night but I just told myself : "get your a$$ to fu%%kn bed!

Glad I kept the faith... but you know what? As much as I am moving on etc... I still think about her, but the memories are getting foggy.

Comments?

I wonder if that's just me... and a defense mechanism/coping or by being out of sight and body... the relationship really does fade away...

And, more importantly, what happens when I see her... because I KNOW I will.. not by my choosing but we go to the same places...

They will keep getting foggier.

In the end you will wonder why you were clinging for so long, you won't remember just the good things, you will remember the toxic things and wonder what took you so long to wake up.

Don't worry you will be just as smitten with the next one, when you are ready. Hopefully the next one will be just as smitten with you and the relationship will be healthier, but you have to be healthy first.

What are you doing for you now? Hope you are making some new friends. How about the gym?

Well I'm not really going out too much... working and then going to the gym. I've never been so "buff" and fit in my life!

Anyway, its good to know that the memories will get foggier.. and for some reason I do now think of the bad that was in the relationship.. I can see that a little more clearly now. Not to say that I was perfect but she really used to overreact to things.

My GF before her, never did that... we usually never had ANY drama like my current ex. Makes me feel so stupid to be treated like that. >:

You know justwant fair, I'm not one to brag... BUT as my memories get foggier... I just KNOW that the dudes she's going to date would NEVER put up with the crap that I did! I say that because who is going to be with her for 5years ? Not anymore we are both older. You know? And the thing is that, when she discovers THAT truth... shes going to want me back.

I mean when she's "done" with it all... im not mr. "boring or safe" but I did treat her very well considering...

Not to burst your bubble, but she will carry on, she will continue to date and the relationship will go better or worse then your relationship did.

What you have to worry about now, is all about you. That is wonderful that you are more "buff" then you have ever been. With spring and summer just around the corner it is a wonderful time to get back out there and start making new friends. Find out about sport leagues. This is a wonderful time to take up sand volleyball. :D

:) dang... justwantfair... that is harsh! To think that she will continue and carry on... sheesh!

Oh well, like u said, got to look out after me. Thanks for the comments!!

I would say more like preparing for the worst and expecting nothing. That way if he's right your not upset about it. And usually people who do the breaking up don't dwell on it, it's the dumped people who do, otherwise they contradict themselves. Its usually down the road when they try to come back and people forget the whole situation. How old are you by the way?

Oh... ok... didnt think of that when you said that the one who breaks up... is NOT the one who dwells on it. Interesting perspective!

But you say that they come back down the road... (or at least try to)..

I'm not having any hope... (well maybe a little, would like for ME to tell her to take a hike! :)

HEY EVERYONE...

You know that I gave her an ultimatum, deadline for her to come back or forget about it all forever of April 20. (dont ask me why that date... just wanted it) AND this was all before I started talking to everyone on this forum.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that... NOW, even if she does want to patch things up...

My fear is that she WILL want to get back with me! Funny huh? I really doubt this but what if she does?

I don't want to get back with her... not the way she was. So, what would I tell her? "um, sorry baby but you have to change this and that about u BEFORE i take you back?" etc.

Yeah, I know not to wonder about "what ifs" but just wanted to get everyone's opinion.

You have asked that question and its been answered, re-read your own thread. Geez guy, your going in circles now.

How many times are you going to run head first into the wall before you realize it's not going to budge?

He reminds me of this one member... KCTiger... I think that is his name... :cool:

He does, that KCtiger was stubborn, always asking for more punishment, thankfully he wised up and even gives good advice every now and then.

Oops sorry... I did ask that before. Going back and forth here in my head... alrighty then. ;)

Hey everyone... just got an email from our mutual "friend"... I have it in my inbox haven't read it yet.

It looks like he forwarded me a message from her. Uall think I should delete it right? I know you said to delete her stuff... but you didn't say anything about his.

Delete...

Can't you find a new friend, this one seems to be encouraging the pain.

FIND A NEW FRIEND!! Delete anything that comes from him, I will send you $80 if you get that tattooed on your arm "No contact means NO CONTACT"

Hi Crazy,

We meant all stuff pertaining to her whether it comes from this mutual friend or not. I think we even said to delete stuff from him too. You are torturing yourself. I think I speak for everyone when I say 'Dont read it, delete it'. Its for your own good.

Forward it to me, and I will translate it for you...

Forward it to me, and I will translate it for you...

Me too, me too!

He has to open it to forward it...

I think it is time for the "friend" to get a farking clue. I don't know why Crazy you consider this person a "friend", he is a clueless piece.

Thanks everyone for the input!!

Here's where I am...

I DID GET THE EMAIL FROM OUR "FRIEND"... I didn't read it! :) not until I got your advice... anyway... about 2 minutes later he calls me and leaves me a message.

I didn't answer my phone on purpose...

Anyway, I was getting email from other things... and I had to.. because you know how you can read the subject line and all... it wasn't my intention... but I did.

Like I said, I haven't read it yet but what I did read was from him saying on the subject line... "but i want to be your friend"


WHAT THE H#LL?

So, I imagine the email that he forwarded to me from her... was that she dumped me for good or whatever her reasons were...

Anyway, any help out there? I'm going crazy because I want to read the email but I will DEFINITELY take everyone's advice and delete it with one eye open!

BUT what do I do because he called me and left me a message? Its rude of me considering I've known him for sometime to not return his call don't you think? It would seem like I was afraid to talk to him!

I could always call him back and say first thing... dont say anything to me about her... whether he slips and says otherwise is another story.

HELP! The weekend is coming up and any worse news then I'm already going through would be really bad...

Advice.

Hey.. I just thought of something...

Maybe I could email him saying for him not to tell me anything... and that ill call him next week. How does that sound?

Why are you opening yourself up for more pain? This guy is obviously not taking your feelings and emotions into consideration since all he's doing is relaying messages from her... Is he a good friend you hang around with regularly? If not then it would be best to keep away from him. Ignore all the texts and emails. You are trying to heal AND HE JUST KEEPS TRYING TO OPEN YOUR WOUNDS...

Yeah that's a good point.. heartbroke. I did tell him last time we talked that I didn't want him to say anything about her.

So maybe your right for me not to return his calls... but you know, at the same time I don't want to completely be rude... ill probably write an email saying that I deleted his email and that I'm going to chill for awhile... ill call him in a couple of weeks...

He's not that good of a friend heart broke... so...

Does this sound cool to you or should I ingore him completely like you say?

If I do ingore him then I give her the satisfaction that I DID read her email... not that I'm playing games but I think that that would pi%% her off even more than anything... because SHE didn't get the last words!

It almost sounds like you encourage drama in your life... playing games and last words...

Hmmmmm... maybe your right. I got to think about that one. But if it was your friend... would you ingnore him completely?

If he was my friend he would have respected my decision to cut her out of my life and not relay messages from her.

Well I guess I could just delete the email and not say anthing to him about it. Plain and simple, unless he asks... but I guess I could be unavailable for a couple of weeks... just tell him that in my email and nothing else... just so he knows that I'm not being a diXX to him.

Or just put him in the same folder that u put her in

If he was your friend he would have realized that you are hurting and wouldn't be adding to your pain and confusion. This sounds like a friend that if you were hanging from a cliff he'd step on your fingers to see you hurt even more.

Ask yourself, would you do something like this to your friend? If you knew he was hurting would you continue to talk about his ex or send him emails that she sent you?

All right... I will mysteriously "disappear" for now...

Disappearing as in doing your own thing... moving on and such

Your right romefalls... I would never do that to a friend of mine... add more to his/her pain.

He is her friend first u know...

He's her friend first? Red flag! Drop him like you did her. You want her out of your life and everything connected to her.

Oh... ok... yeah theve been best buds since they were 11

But then again, not sure what his email said... since I deleted it.. for all in know - he might have just been checking in on me... who knows for sure! Darnit... how do I play this?

I guess the safe thingis to just do as everyone suggests and not contact him too

Btw he also left me a voicemail. Should I delete that too?

Review the page, then see if you want to ask this question again

Umm... yeah never mind... ill delete his voice mail too!

Sheesh.. u guys are givn me some TOUGH LOVE!!

hey everyone... its late... had more than a few beers... so I'm going to rant... its a long story I'm going to tell u so grab a drink..

I cnanott believe that fu^^n witch... how cold hearted she is to have put me thournhg everything! I just can't believe that a person could be so mean. I really think that she alerady made a decision to leave me and she just used that one night to finally say that she had enough...

dudes... you shouldve been there. Listne to this pathetic story... :

I live in san antonio... and we decided to go to austin for the weekend... go bar hopping etc... so here goes the story for u:

so she got off work at 6:30 when she said she would be at her place at 5 so that we could go to austin... we didn't eat so we stopped at applebees first...

by the time we got to austin it was 9:30 and she was tired... she told me that she wanted to take a nap for only 30minutes... and to wake her then... so I had a drink in the hotel room and noticed that she was snoring like a salior... no problem because things start to hop around 11pm anyway.. so no biggie.

I decided to let her sleep for one hour... then I woke her up and she threw a hissy fit saying that I shouldve woken her up sooner and that now she doesn't have time to get ready for the night...

so she yells at me for that and gives me the silent treatment.. then we leave the hotel and walk to 6th street.. the area where all the bars are... I asked: so where would you like to start at? And she tells me... it doesn't really matter because its all about me anyway! What the hell?

so I finally drag her to this bar and she's in a bad mood as the evening starts... well we hang out.. shes not talking to me... and so I say lets go to another bar... so we go...

our intention was to go bar hopping, get drunk and the go back to the room for some wild and hot sex.

um... so we go to the next bar and she go gets a shooter because she's an alkie remember?

so she gets me one too and I drink it and she takes my picture and looks at it and says... oh were just going to stay here.. because your already FU**ed up. I say no... lets go have some fun its only the second bar... and she gets hissy and says... no...

I say to her... dont be uncool and cause drama... lets have fun and go... so she goes with me outside where she walks ahead of me... and we go to another bar but there was another one we said we would go to... so I say... lets go... and she says... im not walking all that way so I could carry u back to the hotel rooom!

I tell her... im not drunk.. I wasn't... just buzzed... and she proceeds to walk 5 feet in front of me and we go to the club... she tells me to order her a beer while she is going to the restroom... as she is TEXTING someone... who knows who... she is always getting texts...

I get her a beer and stand there at the club waiting for her to come out of the bathroom... and notice as I stood there for 10 minutes that she is at standing table... by herself... I say if you saw me standing there why didn't u wave to me or come and get me... she didn't reply.

so then we are drinking our beers and she is not talking to me at all. She's saying that she is havinng "so much "fun... as she is cursing... and that she will have a much better time when she goes out with her friends the next day... ouch that really hurt me... so I told her... lets just go back to the hotel if your going to act that way...

so we leave and now she is walking 10 feet ahead of me... crying in 5 inch high heels! I could barly keep up with her... so we get back to the room and of course she doesn't take her clothes off... and goes straight to bed... I take a shower and come to bed and she is on her side.. with her back to me at the edge of the bed!!

I see her that she is cold so I go get a blanket for her and put it over her... how pathetic am I?

so... in the morning... she gets more texts and calls her friend and sounds peachy to them so I figure everythings cool with us... but no.

we drive back to san antonio and she gives me the silent teatment all the way back...

she drops me off at her apt. and I ask why is she still in the car? And she says that she has errands to do... um OK..

I say "i love you baby, sorry if i made u upset" and she looks at me and shakes her head up and down and peels off in her truck!! Can u guys believe that?!

that is the type of drama that I ALWAYS used to get with her...

have anyone of you all out there relate to me?

comments please... it really makes me so mad that I was such a wussy with her... I just wanted things to be nice. I loved her and I didn't want to cause any drama...

two weeks later.. she tells our mutual friend that she doesn't respect me because I'm not a "man" and I don't stand up to her!!

dang... I couldve EASILY unleased on her... I did so ONE time and she freaked out! Started crying and said I was "mean"
and the thing is... I didn't even begin to get upset...

anyway... thanks for hearing my rant... I got lots of these BS stories to tell u... if u want to hear them...

:( I'm not feeling sorry for myself... im just pis$ed that I put up with all of this and she didn't care one bit.

OR HE%% MAYBE IM WRONG... MAYBE ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS!?

I Don't KNOW... was this normal behavior everyone?

Guys... I so want to read our friends email... he just sent ANOTHER ONE!!

Ughhhhhh!!

Hey you know what people?

I was thinking about those 2 emails.. that I got. Everybody - I am happy to tell you that I DID delete those emails!!

So I have NO clue on what they had in them... all that I saw was that they were forwarded to me through our friend...

Now I did read where it had... "i want to still be ur friend" and the other one said on its subject: "im at a place i want to be"

Now... I assume that those are HER words not his... well if that is correct then, she didn't RESPECT my wishes when I told her that I didn't want to hear anything from her until next month!

Even so, if those are her words.. then obviously she doesn't want to be with me. I will just assume that those ARE HER words and not our mutual friends. Either way... it seems to me that she dumped me for sure.

Whatever... I already TOLD her what she had to do if she wanted to. And, in all of our relationship... even when we broke like a gazzilion times... I ALWAYS came crawling back to her.. or I texted or emailed her...

But with your guyz help... I have had NC since I started talking to everyone here last 30ish days ago.

I'm sure she's surprised by my actions.

Anyway, it doesn't bother me that if it WAS her that I can assume wrote that... that she's gone, because in a way, I feel as if I was the one who ultimately decided to end it by doing NC as everyone here suggested.

Regardless, I will NOT respond to her /our friends email... but I was wondering although I have asked before... but I didn't get an answer... should I email our friend to say... that I got "his" emails but deleted them and that if he wants to continue to be my friend to not talk about her or tell me anything?

Advice please... and I'm NOT trying to be a martyr here... just want to know how to play it. I really do thank everyone here... that has given me advice...

U have helped me tremendously! Thnkx

And no... hes not a good friend even though he's hers first... but I don't want to be uncool and not talk to him... I think that for all that our friendship meant to me... I should at least email him and tell him that. But I don't know, that's why I'm asking... 'WHAT WOULD YOU DO" ;)

Hi Crazy,

You did great by deleting the emails, good for you! Honestly? I would just ignore both of them. He didn't respect your wishes and sent you those emails anyway. I would leave him alone too.

THANK YOU starlite1... I really appreciate you telling me that. It was tough deleting them without reading them... I put my hand over the screen so I couldn't see as I clicked "delete":)

All right that's one vote for ignoring "our friend"... and of course ignoring her. She really isn't the main issue anymore... I just want to go out like a "man" you know?

Going out like a man is ignoring the tramp, plain and simple.

Okay thanks romefalls19!

And that includes our mutual friend too?

okay thanks romefalls19!

and that includes our mutual friend too?

Yes indeed, absolutely! Every and all connections to her, no matter who.

He isn't a very good "friend" anyway... one of my friends goes through this kind of stuff, I NEVER bring up the ex around them... just common sense and respect!

OK thanks everyone... will do. But... he has been calling me 3 times already today!! Leaving voicemail!

What do you recommend I do? I don't want him calling me everyday to "check in on how im doing" u know? I'm sure that my EX wants him to talk to me so that she wonders what I thought about her emails! THAT I NEVER READ!! :)

Anyway, this mutual friend is getting on my nerves because of him calling me. He has my email address as it is so no need to change my phone numbr because he will just email me!

Or maybe he will get the message if I don't call him back... to leave me alone.

Help.. advice please.

He will get the message... just ignore and move on. Focus on yourself, and don't worry about him or her.

Just go on ignoring him, he has been ignoring your requests for space... he will eventually get fed up of being put in the middle if you aren't involved and he will tell your ex that eventually.

You need to be healing, he is just prolonging the pain... not much of a friend.

Tonight you could email him on your own terms, tell him that you have been requesting to be allowed to move on with your life and that for the time being if he can't keep you out of situations involving the ex you are going to keep to yourself. If he is willing to be considerate of your feelings, then he must stop forwarding emails and leaving voicemails. All contact has to have absolutely nothing to do with your ex.

Hmmmm. That's a good point - not talking about my ex... I have already brought that up... but sadly I think that if I am stlll friends with him... I will eventually find out what she is doing AND with whom... se# and all, and that would be WAY too painful to take.

Too bad because although he wasn't a great friend as everybody says... he did help us get back together a couple of times...

That said, you still think that way or is justwantfair... right?

I'm sorry to ask you that in a different way again BUT I did want everyone to know that about him.

Any thoughts?

hey my friends for life :) don't bail on me just yet... yeah it like things are slowly gettn bettr... but I have a lot of questions to ask about the afterwards. Our mutual friend... us running into each other san antonio is a very very small town. There are like only 4 nice bars here soooooo... u see what's ah

cya latter, I don't know how mnay people are on here but it be cool beans if eveyone had a mini convention every year! Count me in :) we could meet each oter in realifelf... we wouldn't feel weird because e=we know evey=rone.! ''

typing is bad,, I toodk ab ambiena and a 12 pack... cya.

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back yourself respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers (http://www.serenataflowers.com/petals/Send_flowers.htm) to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back your self respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers (http://www.serenataflowers.com/petals/Send_flowers.htm) to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

No offense, but this is not good advice. For one, we are 43 pages in, and I don't think you read all that's been going on. Second, A guy should never and I mean never buy a woman flowers or anything else after a break up. It comes off as desperate... which it is, and given what you said that he should get his self respect back (which I agree with) if he did this even in the best of circumstances it would come off as giving mixed signals.

Hi... yeah I got to agree with chuff...

Our relaitonship is over. If she wants it back then SHE will have to come to me really ready to make concrete changes.

Even then, I'm not sure that it would be for the best. She has disappointed me too much...

With that said, I just hope that I don't run into her anytime soon... it would be like 2 lovers meeting each other again and who knows how feelings could reemerge... with just one look... on both of our ends!

HI everyone... an update:

I know you all are going to be disappointed but I had to email our mutual friend to tell him that I didn't want to hear anything about her. So, if he calls and wants to have a beer, that's cool, but not to say anything. It would just be as "friends"

I thought about sending that email all weekend long, especially after hearing everyone's advice but to me, even though he may not have my best interest at heart, I cannot "hide" or treat someone that way, after knowing him for as long as I've known her.

We have shared some good times but taking your advice is something that I will remember, just in case, he says something. Ill give him that chance. I'm not a coward and going out without telling him my reason, just made me feel that way.

Anyway, like I said, this doesn't mean I'm not going to heed what everyone says here. I will. Keep up your support!

I feel like everyone here is on my side and weird as it may sound, my friends...

Ill keep you posted.

Hey guys... its late at night and I'm not busy... guess that's my problem.. but I have a question for youall.. :

Why is it that I still "want" this woman who is obviously not good for me? I'm not one for abuse.. never have been. But she's like a drug to me. If you can say I have "withdrawls" that would be true. I don't "intellectually" want her... I KNOW that she is destructive for me... but I can't help why I think why I am drawn to a woman who is a "bad" girl... in ALL sense of the word.

Anyway... I know you guys aren't shrinks... but I was just wondering if anyone of you know this feeling and have some advice for me.

Thankx.

And NO.. im not going to get back with her... I still have NC!!

Memories are fading... but at times, like today, I remember some really good times...

Well, it feels like an addiction because it is an addiction. Don't fret. You'll be fine soon enough. Just try to think about something else.

I found out that after sometime, we still keep hanging on just because it feels better to have the messy ex situation than having nothing at all. It is hard but do your best to just not think about any of this. Shift your focus to other things. It'll help forgetting.

THANK YOU!! Imtotally lost!

I really appreciate your input.

Yeah, it really is an addiction... I know she isn't right for me... but I don't have anyone to lean on except for this forum... so thanks again for your comments imtotallost!

I'm going to go to bed... tomorrow is another day.

Man I know how that is one it could be a test to c if u really want her she is playng the hard to get game some time makes people recognize whatthey have she will be back just keep doing what yor doing it will be cool show her you care a lot about her

Thanks for your input joshrach1031...

Everyone here is the update...

Like I mentioned to everyone, I emailed our mutual friend... here is the email he sent back to me... :

It's good to know your ok..altough I can undersand your feelings of loneliness. I m here for you if you should need me ,even if you just need to vent my friend. I'm here.

I know you got alot going on in your life and sometimes the weight gets too great to seemingly bear but know that you are not alone.

I'm always here for you if you need me...know that my friend...trust in it. You are my equal in everyway too and it givesme tremendous joy to have such a good person in my life, that I can call my brother...

Your friend.

Well community... there you have it. I asked that he not tell me anything about HER... and that's what he wrote back... With that in mind... how do you feel about that? What would be your advice? It seems as if he will respect my wishes... I don't know... I know that Rome believes that this is no good but there you have the proof...

What does everyone have to say?

Thankx.

I think you want to keep him in your life knowing there is a connection with her.

Interesting heartbroke.

But if he acts like this now... then shouldn't his friendship still be good? Why throw that away? But I can see what u say.

That's up to you to keep his friendship, ask yourself though, are you only keeping him around because he is the last link between you and your ex? Or do you value him truly as your friend. It seems like you still have hope to get this girl back.

Is he your only friend right now? If he is, then you might as well use him, but try making another friend. If you have other friends, try to get closer to them and let this guy do his thing.

It doesn't matter if he'll bring up the ex or not, every time you see him, the subject will be around. Don't worry. If he's a good friend, he'll understand. And if doesn't understand, well, his loss.

Well heartbroke, you speak a lot of truth but unfortunately just like imtotallylost said, at the moment he is my only friend.

Like I have said in past posts.. my whole life was her. She had her girlfriends but I just had her and that guy.

I'm open to making new friends... but at work, there's no one that is cool.

And totallylost, what do you mean by use him? U mean that as long as he doesn't say anything about her, then just hang out until I can make some new friends?

THANKS...

Yep, that's what I meant. But he's not your best choice right now. I'm solidary to your quest for a friend - I'm having a couple of issues with that myself - but keeping common friends around are just a bad idea.

Oh OK... so have as minimal as contact as possible except to hang with him when I need to but then cut him out of my life as soon as I can?

Guys...

Thought I was over this.. but I have slipped back into feeling down. Its like I had 5 steps forward and then BOOM - for today , all I can do is just remember the "good times"... any suggestions other than staying busy?

Be patient...

Thanks kctiger.

Well it was kind of strange today... I was down... then later in the day, I got upset, so I was "fine"... then back to down. Whatsup with that. It shouldn't be like that.

I'm no mental case and that's bothering me enough thinking that I'm not tough enough to just shove it all and be "happy"...

Anyway... just some comments.

Be patient... though kctiger... sucks a$$. I don't want to wait. I want it now. You know?

I've always been in control on everything in life... and now in a matter of 5 months... ive turned everything upside down... no job, no home, anxiety, and no woman. Not self pity but sheesh... cmon now. Enough is enough.

Can't remember who said it on this thread... but yes I am grateful for my health. I have that and the best body I've ever had because of going to the gym and taking out my frustrations.

But the nights sure are lonely you guys.

Hey I have been reading about your situation!! From a girls point of view, OK you have gathered that the way she has treats you is not right!!
But if you really want this girl to come back to you, is NC whatsoever!! No texts,e-mails,calls or ANYTHING!! You watch he will contact you, she will wonder why you have not been in contact and if you loves or even cares about you she will contact you. If she doesn't then just know she doesn't love you and this should make it easier for you to get over her!! Good Luck and wish you all the happiness and you sound like a genuine guy, which is hard to find these days!!

Hi! Thanks for your words depressed lady! I haven't read about your situation but I hope your doing well too.

Yeah, I haven't had any NC with her. Its been real hard and I have always done something with her after fights... we broke up many times and I always texted her... even if it was for once a week...

But this time, I haven't done a thing! Yesterday, I saw her in her car and I KNOW she saw me... but I didn't acknowledge her at all!! I wish I could find out what she was thinking when she saw me... because its been almost 2 months now.

Anyway... yeah, I agree, I put a deadline for her to call me at around late April... if she doesn't I told her not to contact me again. Not even to email me to tell me why she doesn't want to be with me... that I won't answer her emails or taker her calls.

I think that she figures that I would have called or texted by now... shes probably coming to the conclusion that she really mis judged me... but if she was looking for a way out... then I sure am helping her do that.

And yeah, if she doesn't do anything then your right... she doesn't love me anymore. And that would make it easier for me to move on...

Still, after all that we shared... its hard NOT to believe that she doesn't love me... I kindda feel that she does but is trying to fight herself from realizing that...

And another thing...

I know she could get a hold of me through our mutual friend but I changed all my emails adresses and cell phone number, so she can't just text me or email me like before. I made it hard for her to contact me directly but I guess if she really wants to...

She will find a way... dont you think?

Yes you are right, if she wants your number she sill defo find a way to get it- its not hard!!
But just be patient and remember everything happens for a reason. You know my situation now and I find it really hard not to contact him too. Its been 4 years and now he has a GF and that's the hardest part- but I know he is not serious with her because he would NEVER marry her-cause he is Indian and she is half cast, which is against his relegion. Hw told one of my cousins that he is with her to try and move on as he waited 4 years and then the year I got married he decided to move on, but then he was already with this girl when my marriage ended. That's when he started being really mean to me and I know he was upset with me for getting married- but anyone would be right? Anyway we still in contact once in a while and now he has 2 numbers one for me and the other for his Gf and the rest of his friends and family. I love him very much and when my marriage broke down I just started to think what if we are meant to be? I know you may think I'm crazy but do people never change. When I first met him he was not abusive, but began when he heard some rumours about me and became protective. I believe everyone deserves a second chance.
Are you saying if your EX comes back you won't take her back?
Its easier for me I guess because I'm in uk and he is in Africa. But just by meeting him once or even having one phone conversation with him, I would be able to tell if he has changed or not.
I haven't rang him and waiting for him to make the move now-if he doesn't then I will defo move on.
So you are no the only one- I don't sleep at night, go mad thinking about what he is up2? What he is thinking. I know he loves me and he even told smeone that I will always love her but tell her to be patient. I can't just dump my GF - she has feeling too. So I'm confused. I think he is doing this all to make me realise- he plays a lot of mind games so I never know what he means and what he doesn't.
What do you think?
U doing well by not contacting her-so congrats!! :)

Hi everyone!

An update... I still have been doing NC and its working in so far as although it still hurts.. it doesn't as bad as it did a month ago. Don't get me wrong its still torture, but I'm losing some feelings - if that makes sense... I can just feel it.

Anyway, I still am in contact with our mutual friend though and he has NOT said a word about her because of my request. So, that's good but I don't know if she's asking or he's telling he anything about me.

No, I'm not whining to him about her. I'm not saying a word. Anyway, I'm going to have a beer with him this Friday... see what happens... it will be THE test as far as if I can hang out with him or not.

Comments? If not, cool... I ll let you know!

But you know people... im sure in a big way I'm using him to still have her somehow connected with me in my life.

I don't know its letting go but very slowly... its not that I'm in denial.. but it seems easier for me to gradually ease into it...

Just a thought.

Man you are like me. My girlfriend broke up with me after 5 years, today is a week we have been broken up. In the past 5 years we broke up twice and the same day I was the one that went back to her, this time I decided I won't go back. If she really loves me then she needs to contact me. 5 years, talking of marriage, but the issue was she was relgious and wanted me to convert and I said no. Relgion is evil, it breaks hearts and souls, I say.

Anyway, I'm in the same boat. During the day I feel fine but then at nights its like a f$King roller coaster ride. Last night I couldn't sleep and I haven eaten anything for dinner for the past few days.

But I see you have progressed a lot, you went from being out of control and wanting to text her to not giving a now. I hope I move along as you did.



trying to understand myself...help me out:

why is it that im so strong in the daytime and then at night i fall "victim" to my emotions?

just curious....anyone been through that? a little help please for tonight...

Tony, same advice I gave to crazy, when you have those sleepless nights, grab a book or watch a movie. If you have an xbox360, hit up that for awhile. If you fill your day with activities, you will be so tired when you get home you will pass right out

Rome,

I'm thinking of getting Xbox360, but I think I will try to workout too.

Thanks for the advice.

Hi Tony,

That is a great thing to do! It will keep your mind off her, and allows you to focus on yourself.

Hey tony... yeah... its a good thing to focus on something else just like they all said! If it wasn't for them, id be even CRAZIER now! Lol

Cuz, she has a support group, be it her slu&& friends or not... I only had this forum... cyber but its real to me.

Its good because you get a lot of opinons instead of just a few like your friends would normally have... anyway... my advice is to not only keep busy but at night... sorry to say guys, what's helped me was a couple of beers and unwinding from the day.

I still think about her late at night when I'm lying in bed and my thoughts turn to companionship but I think of all the DRAMA that I'm not having AND how many people besides me, have gone through my same thing, and it makes me not HAPPY but at least "understood" and not alone with what has happened or is happening to me.

That said, although you'll have feelings for her, like me, they're just going to slowly fade away and it will be strange but if others can go through my type of pain, I think I can.

Still I'm wounded though... but I'm not in self pity and I think that that's because, I'm SURE she's not caring about me and having the time of her life! Because if she did love me, then whatever I said about a timeline or ultimatum... and pleaded with her not to contact me till then... it wouldn't have mattered if she wanted me very badly... she would have caved in by now, I think

What does everyone here think? Although I told her "if you love me, then leave me alone until then"
Don't you think that she would say "dam the situation but i want you back NOW?"

Thanks... and please feel free to comment you guys.

I'm at work, feeling alittl down. I think tonight I will drink a little which makes me happy.

What sucks is my close friends they all moved to CA, one of them has been in relationships and had a few break ups and he has helped me out. In fact we are all going to vegas end of the month, hopefully that will take my mind off her.

The thing here is I wanted to marry her but at the same time 50% of me didn't. My family did not like her and she did not even try to make them like her. I know she has been depressed about this, but this time the ball is in her court. She needs to call me this way I can tell her if she wants to get back she needs to drop the crap about me converting to any religion period.

Crazyoverher,

I been reading your posts from the beginning and you have changed since 2 months just judging by the posts. You seem to be less depressed than you were at the beginning, you may not know it but we do.

I have bailed off the depression boat because I have found my new passion. If you feel down listen to that song "hope it gives you hell" by the all american rejects, works wonders. I couldn't do this to myself anymore, and I feel wonderful.

I'm listetning to the new Depeche Mode album, even thought it is not out and the song that stands out Peace, makes me realize I can move on...

They also have one of their old song called Love, in itself...

Whenever I was down or depress, I always listened to this band and they get me through.
Of course some of their songs are sucidal, but I stay away from those. Lol

Hey tony71... I don't feel like I've progressed much but maybe your right.. I hope you are... well, I too wanted to marry my girlfriend... we talked about it all the time... mostly it was her but then she stopped. I should have picked up on that... I did in a way.. but I really think that she broke up with me because she knew that I wanted to move forward with her and she was just using that marriage line to argue with me until I was ready... then she couldn't say anthing anymore... and she left.

heartbroke... I too am tired of being depressed, trying to pick myself off that..

Crazy,

Last night after drinking it felt good and I was happy, but this morning its depressing again.

Funny you mention marriage, my girlfriend constantly talked about getting marriage but towards the end she stopped too. She then said she couldn't marry me if I did not convert.

I have a question, if I had doubts about marrying the girl then is that a sign that I didn't want to marry her?

Here is how you have progressed, in the beginning when you first posted you wanted to contact her so bad, everyone here were saying you should do the NC and you agreed, but then you come back and posted that you are going crazy and you need to contact her just to see how she is doing. Honestly, the first 10 or 20 posts, I started to think maybe you are just joking around on this board, but as I read more of the post it was obvious you were really looking for good advises and you got a lot.

But now it has been a few weeks and you haven't called or texted her or emailed her.
So a lot has changed. I guess my situation maybe less drama, since in my mind I sometime wanted to break it off myself, I loved her but she was either happy or mad. There were times I loved her to death and times I wished she would get the hell out of my life.


hey tony71....i dont feel like ive progressed much but maybe ur right..i hope you are...well, i too wanted to marry my girlfriend...we talked about it all the time...mostly it was her but then she stopped. i should have picked up on that...i did in a way..but i really think that she broke up with me because she knew that i wanted to move forward with her and she was just using that marriage line to argue with me until i was ready...then she couldnt say anthing anymore...and she left.

heartbroke...i too am tired of being depressed, trying to pick myself off of that..

Thanks tony71... I appreciate your comments... and I don't think that if you had any doubts that that in itself was a sign you shouldn't marry her.

I think that you should have doubts. I think that you should do everything in your power so that you DO have doubts... and if you still love her in spite of all that... then she's the girl for you... if SHE feels the same.

My update...

Well I feel kind of I guess, "accepting" or resigned to what is happening if that makes sense to any of youall.

I hel! Still love her but I don't want to be unhappy and like heart... im tired of being down. I want to do so much and I really wish she could be there but if not... well that's life. Its really good to see (dont mean to be happy about this) that other guys and gals share my same emotions.

Anyway, last night I was thinking about all my emotions and how she shouldn't be soooo happy and enjoying her life if I'm suffering!! She should suffer too. BUT the reality is that maybe she isn't suffering... maybe she really is having fun etc... with out me.

It's a hard pill to swallow.

Its like I'm greiving over her for nothing... and I realize that and that makes it even worse!

Well anyway, our mutual friend inadvertenly said in one of his emails, that he hopes that we reconcile... welll that my friends is him telling me that she still doesn't want me... at least that's what I think...

When I read that, I was kind of emtionless. I thought that that was strange. It was like, well if we do we do... if we don't then we don't.

And then I thought... let me enjoy what I have, because soon I won't. We only live a short time and then that's it...

Comments?

Did you or did you not tell your "mutual" friend to keep his mouth shut about ANYTHING revolving around her? Does he understand EnglisH?

I know I know... some of you out there say... "ive heard that before from him" yeah, but that's honestly what I'm thinking. I mean would I take her back? Probably. But I wouldn't take her abuse anymore. Would it last then? Probably not. But learning about yourself and how to handle this rejection is a good lesson.

I'm looking at it like the more I suffer and the way I've had this relationship and all... I could better advise my children... and THEIR heartaches... when they experience what I'm going through... I don't have kids yet but I want some and so having "daddy" understand what they feel.. because I felt it too... I think will make them healthier and happier in life.

Kc... let me forward u the email... and u all out there tell me... maybe I'm just "looking" for things... u tell me...

Here is what you need to do, take a vacation with friends. Go out and have fun and try to forget about her. I may sound superstious, but when you are not thinking about her and having fun, it will be vice versa and she will be the one thinking about you.

I'm going to vegas end of the month, that should be fun will ease my mind that's for sure.



My update....

Well i feel kinda i guess, "accepting" or resigned to what is happening if that makes sense to any of youall.

I hel! still love her but i dont want to be unhappy and like heart...im tired of being down. I want to do so much and i really wish she could be there but if not...well thats life. its really good to see (dont mean to be happy about this) that other guys and gals share my same emotions.

anyway, last night i was thinking about all my emotions and how she shouldnt be soooo happy and enjoying her life if im suffering!!! she should suffer too. BUT the reality is that maybe she isnt suffering...maybe she really is having fun etc...with out me.

its a hard pill to swallow.

its like im greiving over her for nothing...and i realize that and that makes it even worse!

well anyway, our mutual friend inadvertenly said in one of his emails, that he hopes that we reconcile...welll that my friends is him telling me that she still doesnt want me...at least thats what i think....

when i read that, i was kinda emtionless. i thought that that was strange. it was like, well if we do we do...if we dont then we dont.

and then i thought...let me enjoy what i have, because soon i wont. we only live a short time and then thats it....

comments?

I want more than anything than for you two to reunite and continue your love affair. I know you want that more than anything too but I too pray for your reconciliation with her. I know what it is to have your"soulmate" so close but yet still so far away... I look forward to spending time having a beer

That's what our friend said to me today...

Tell your "friend" to continue to keep his mouth shut about this stuff... clearly he is a drama queen!

What is this dude's name? He sounds like the type of dude that reads Cosmo

That's funny Tony71!! Maybe that does happen... when u have fun.. it switches... :) yeah, vegas will be a blast... ull have a great time.

His names TODD

Tell me something, this friend how close is he to her? I just want to make sure he is not getting in between but at the same time playing the caring friend. You know what I mean?



I want more than anything than for you two to reunite and continue your love affair. I know you want that more than anything too but I too pray for your reconciliation with her. I know what it is to have your"soulmate" so close but yet still so far away... I look forward to spending time having a beer

thats what our friend said to me today....

Hey its true, it does work.



thats funny Tony71!!! maybe that does happen...when u have fun..it switches.... :) yeah, vegas will be a blast ....ull have a great time.

Well he's HER friend first... known her for all her life. I just met him 3 years ago. Yeah, kctiger... I

Ill remind him not to say a word on Friday!

I see. Like Kctiger said, tell him to stop talking about her.

Yes.. I will do that. Its disappointing that he kind of showed me his thoughts when I said for him not to... but you can see by his email... he didn't say too much. I KNOW he's been talking to her because he tells me so... but he doesn't tell me about what... anyway... my head hurts from thinking about all this! Lol I just want to have a nice cold beer and enjoy the sun with some music... is that too much to ask? It seems that with either of them... all I get is DRAMA.

I'm really tired of any drama at all. I'm even thinkigin that I'm going to go to the extreme and have my next girlfriend be a laid back stone head!! Rather than any grief!!

This is how I keep myself busy
YouTube - Khalid's verison of Hope it gives you hell parody video for ex girlfriend (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GK5qy_X7R8)

Hey everyone... u know I don't know why I thought this, I guess we all revert back one way or another to some things we remember... im going to go to bed. Not whining or wistful or pity or nothing but you know my ex girlfriend used to do?

She would write her name with MY last name... she would always refer to herself as Mrs. "crazy" lol... :)

Isn't that MESSED up! Must be late at night... sheesh.

Later all... wish I could change my name from

Crazyoverher to "SlowlyGettinOverHer"

Keep it up, soon you will be crazyforanother. :D at least the next one you know how to handle her.



hey everyone....u know i dont know why i thought this, i guess we all revert back one way or another to some things we remember...im gonna go to bed. not whining or wistful or pity or nothing but u know my ex gf used to do?

she would write her name with MY last name...she would always refer to herself as Mrs. "crazy" lol... :)

isnt that MESSED up!? must be late at night.... sheesh.

later all...wish i could change my name from

Crazyoverher to "SlowlyGettinOverHer"

Hey tony... well ill know what not to tolerate!

hey everyone....u know i dont know why i thought this, i guess we all revert back one way or another to some things we remember...im gonna go to bed. not whining or wistful or pity or nothing but u know my ex gf used to do?

she would write her name with MY last name...she would always refer to herself as Mrs. "crazy" lol... :)

isnt that MESSED up!? must be late at night.... sheesh.

later all...wish i could change my name from

Crazyoverher to "SlowlyGettinOverHer"

So you got the divorce without having to pay her ailmony. Looks like you won after all.

Chuff... thats sooooo freaking funny!

Hey gang...

Going to go have that "beer" with our mutual friend tomorrow... kinda scary but ill remind him not to say anything. Ill let eveyone know what the heck happens! Wish me luck.

Good luck man. If he starts tell him see yah!



hey gang....

gonna go have that "beer" with our mutual friend tomorrow...kinda scary but ill remind him not to say anything. ill let eveyone know what the heck happens! wish me luck.

Why do you continue to hang out with your drama queen mutual friend? I can't imagine having a beer with this dude... doesn't he drink martinis or some daiquiris?

Seems to me, you get alcohol in this guy, and he wouldn't be able to shut up about you and your ex...

kctiger... u very perceptive.. I never thought about that!

Well, we were going to have a beer in the afternoon just a few hours you know... like at applebees... but I have a new deadline I have to meet for a temp job I got... so I have to do that. I called and told him that if anything, I couldn't do it till this evening... I doubt he has the time to go out then... but you never know.

On another note, I didn't know how much I HATE drama until I got this temp gig... the people there are ugly in how they talk to me and to people.

And I had to stand up for myself today. I was nervous because I don't like it. And I don't like to be that way you know?

But its over now, at least temporarily and although I feel good because I got it out.. I started to think about my ex and how she always used to do that type of thing to me and I really dislike it. Its not that I'm a wimp but why does anyone have to be like that?

Comments?

Hi Crazy,

What happened at the job?

Well... they didn't pay anyone when they should have... they said that it was the second week not the first but it was weekly... so, I can't quit because I need the money.. anyway, I told them and they started saying that I'm lucky to have a job blah blah... then it led to other co worker saying things and then an argument and drama.

well...they didnt pay anyone when they should have....they said that it was the second week not the first but it was weekly....so, i can't quit because i need the money..anyway, i told them and they started saying that im lucky to have a job blah blah...then it led to other co worker saying things and then an argument and drama.

Oh Geez, just want you need. NOT!

I KNOW!!

Don't want drama of any kind... tired of that crap. Got to stay here till later... gonna have a beer tonight with him.

Tonight? Good luck! And stay strong, okay? We are all in your corner!!