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bobbalina
Jan 29, 2009, 07:55 AM
I really wasn't going to post this but I feel as if it needs to get out... I had a friend... a best friend actually since 8th grade. We were so alike in everywhich way... except the only difference in us is that I was a size 16 and she was like a 22... now we're in 11th and we're both the same size (16)... ever since this year she seems to be acting like a total slut... she's with all these guys and I'm ust in the background like I'm nothing to her anymore... and one night I was just joking with her... but then I got serious and said that she's been acting like a slut and a 'female dog'... then she got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me... well two days later I start getting all these rude, aweful messages called me all these names... I didn't know who it was at first then I found out who it was... it was another friend I had... then I was like, ' haha that's was a nice joke... ' then she was like, 'no now I'm serious... ' she kept going on and for the next week I was threatened, like she was saying she was going to kill me and everything... I thought I was never going to have any friends anymore... then my mom found out and took my phone... I got this message saying that if I keep this up then I'm going to lose all my frineds... I Didn't DO ANYTHING!. then I go back to the school and find out that my first friend I mentioned didn't tell the other friend so she wasn't trying to defend her or anything like that but I really don't know what went on... now that was all during Christmas... I started talking to the one that was my best friend and I told her I was sorry and everything but things just don't seem the same to me and the other friend... well she has been talking to me... and we've been friends since 9th grade... I just don't seem to have any friends anymore... could someone help me?

krazymagz
Jan 29, 2009, 11:44 AM
You know what?! Chances are you won't have the same friends that you do now once school is over.. It happens to everybody.. you might not believe it now but I had tons of friends in school.. I talk to one of them now, only one.. its what happens.. and as for your friend, let her do what she wants, she's the one who will be given the bad reputation for what she is doing, its probably better not to be associated with her anyway...

adam_89
Jan 29, 2009, 11:51 AM
Yes, I hardly have any of the friends I had back then. Usd to my freshman and sophomore year, I couldn't walk through the hallway without a hundred people saying hey or stopping me and talking to me. Then come Junior year I had just a handfull of friends. Now, that I am out of school and engaged and have my own house, I barely see anyone anymore, but I still have a friends. Just only a couple from the beginning. It does happen. I don't think your friend is a very good example for you.

Gernald
Jan 29, 2009, 11:53 AM
A friend is someone who sticks with you through thick and thin, someone who doesn't judge based on past mistakes, and who only wants you to be you.

It was prbably a bad mistake telling her the truth about her "sluttyness" and I can see how she would be mad, sometimes people can't face the truth. However, her reaction and rallying of the troops was equally unacceptable and even more inappropriate. Friends don't do that to each other, they don't threaten to kill you or harrass you. Chances are that you are moving apart. Your friends will change as you get older as Krazymahz said. You probably won't ever see any of the people you go to school with now again once you graduate.

That being said I assume for the time being that you want to keep your current "friends" and preserve your already broken relationship with your "best friend." So try asking her to do things just the two of you, go see a chick flick go shopping, get to know her again. Try not to bring up the events of December, don't even talk about what happened except to apologise (I know she needs to apologise as well, perhaps more than you, but people don't like to be wrong). If she still stays away from you and doesn't want to hang out maybe you should just look back on the good times as good and move on to bigger and better things.

jmw0713
Jan 29, 2009, 12:21 PM
I agree with everyone above. I had so many friends in high school and going into a few years in college. I think I regularly hung out with over 20 people every weekend that I considered friends. I knew everybody from my nieghboorhood and school. They knew me. It was fun, the parts that I remember. You know how many good friends I have now from back then, out of all of them... 3.

People grow apart as they get older. Some people end up in jail, move away, or worse dead. The point being, your true friends stay with you. All the others were just acquaintances and memories from the past. Granted I still run into some of my "friends" every once in a while. I am still "friendly" with them, but we never make plans. Everyone has there own life.

You will see as you progress through life. I never thought I would, but I do and I'm only 26. God I feel old! :D

Romefalls19
Jan 29, 2009, 12:53 PM
I was very popular in High School, I played hockey and baseball so I was a "jock" but still didn't put no one below me and talked to everyone. Want to know how many of the people from high school I still talk to? Maybe 10 and half of them are family. You grow up, change and meet new people, it's the natural order of life.

talaniman
Jan 29, 2009, 06:53 PM
Maybe its time to expand your horizons, and do something besides trying to keep your friends around you, and going through a lot of drama trying to make them like you.

Those aren't friends, and they ain't got your back!

What you really have is a low self esteem, that makes you dependent on others to feel good about yourself. Start being good to yourself, and be happy with yourself. Do things you enjoy.

bobbalina
Feb 2, 2009, 05:58 AM
Ummm? I know I should find new friends but I'm not very popular and nobody really likes to talk to the anime reading,computer geeky nerd over here in Va. And its really hard to make friends... I mean I've had these same friends ever since I've moved from Wv... but I'll see if I could find anybody :):):) thanks everybody

talaniman
Feb 2, 2009, 06:35 AM
You think your alone? Trust me your not, stop trying to be popular, and just look around at all the quiet people nobody else notices, or talks about. They probably feel like you do.

bobbalina
Feb 2, 2009, 07:03 AM
I'm not trying to be popular never have never will... its just no one likes to talk to me...

jmw0713
Feb 2, 2009, 08:23 AM
I know what that's like. I was kind of the same way when I was in school. The best thing to do, is talk try to talk to many different people. Don't wait for them to talk to you.

Participate more in class. Ask questions about things to other students in your class.

I think you will find things in common with others once you put forth the effort to socialize with them. You may surprise yourself in the process.:)

neverme
Feb 2, 2009, 08:33 AM
Your going to find a lot of people on here that can support you with words but realistically that's not going to be much help standing alone at school. So instead of coming on here and feeling bad, be proactive.

Start a new sport or activity. It's good for your health and you can meet people you haven't talked to before there. Your never going to make people like you if they decide they don't. This isn't a problem that is only experienced while in school but it's where its most common so take a small bit of solice in that!

talaniman
Feb 2, 2009, 02:48 PM
its just no one likes to talk to me...
That means your around the wrong people.

bobbalina
Feb 9, 2009, 05:43 AM
OK first off you've probably never have in your life been to my school... the only peple here are sluts,preps, and rednecks... ive been here 3 years and I don't know... sorry if it sounds like I'm not listening to any of ya'lls information I am though... its just I'm not any of those types of people... im just more of an outcast

jmw0713
Feb 9, 2009, 08:19 AM
No we haven't, but that doesn't mean that your school was any different than my school, or anyone else's. All schools have the jocks, sluts, preps, rednecks, nerds, snobs, or whatever else you may label particular people.

I think your problem is, you assume people have a particular image before you even talk to them. You are cutting yourself off from others by making these assumptions. Just because you may associate a label with a particular person, doesn't mean they are not friendly and nice.

You are bringing this all on yourself. Maybe it is time to look in the mirror and see which group YOU fall in before labeling others as such.

bobbalina
Feb 9, 2009, 08:23 AM
I already labeled myself as an outcast... now what? I mean I've been one for many years too...

Romefalls19
Feb 9, 2009, 08:27 AM
While I can't say I completely relate to you, I can in some ways. I didn't fit in to the mold of my school, but no one does. We are all trying to find ourselves during high school. We are constantly changing, I was viewed as a "jock" by some, an "outcast" from others. I played sports, but none for my school. My advice to you, which is what I did my senior year, stop caring so much about what other people think. Just go out there and be yourself. Set a goal for yourself, talk to one new person a day for the rest of the school year, you may have more in common with some people than you think.

sylvan_1998
Feb 9, 2009, 09:19 AM
You know I was you and sort of still am. But you know what... I have more "friends" from high school than I ever did (thanks to facebook) because now I try. I did not then because I was too intimidated.

I wish I had tried harder then. I know how hard high school is. The one thing you can not do is show weakness. You must remain true to you and maintain integrity. Meaning when someone is rude to you, it is their own insecurities and ignore them with your head held high. Keep your interests and share them when you get a chance.

It is good advice to spread your horizons. Just because you have those interests does not mean you can not have a roll in the drama club. Or, maybe you want to join a college oriented club because you have a small interest.

Good luck!

talaniman
Feb 9, 2009, 01:52 PM
i already labeled myself as an outcast...now what? i mean Ive been one for many years too...

If your already outside the mainstream of the people you are around, and already fitting them into your own categories of behavior, and disdain, then its your attitude, that keeps you an outcast, not what others are really doing.

That's how you can change yourself, if you want to, change your attitude toward others. You can accept them without doing what they do, as they are as human as you are, no matter where they fit on your judgment scale. They are no better or no worse.

While I can respect your loner, rebel status, you don't get to use it for an excuse, to cover a bad attitude.

Its also my experience that fear is often at the heart that outcast mentality, you reject others before they can reject you. That's just some food for thought,

bobbalina
Feb 10, 2009, 06:59 AM
Ummm? No offence but you sound like Gandhi or something... its just I don't get it?:confused: are you saying I have a bad attitude? Cause personally I don't think you know me very well... im more emo then anything else... everyone just makes fun of me:(

jmw0713
Feb 10, 2009, 07:59 AM
No, I agree with Tal. You definitely need to change your attitude toward other people. I bet when the people you already put a label on, try to talk to you in anyway, you go all emo on them and basically say something or have the attitude along the lines of "Pfffft, whatever, jerk (slut, redneck, or any other label you mentioned before)." You will never make new friends or anything thinking like that.

If they're not emo, like you, they are not suitable to be a friend? You have to get over that mentality, or you will be a very lonely person.

bobbalina
Feb 10, 2009, 08:04 AM
[QUOTE= "Pfffft, whatever, jerk (slut, redneck, or any other label you mentioned before).

QUOTE]

I'm not a mean person I meant emo as in wear black, cry all the time and cut myself,. I don't say things like that to anyone... I talk to anyone who talks to me first I'm just too shy

kctiger
Feb 10, 2009, 10:22 AM
[QUOTE= "Pfffft, whatever, jerk (slut, redneck, or any other label you mentioned before).

QUOTE]

im not a mean person i meant emo as in wear black, cry all the time and cut myself,...i dont say things like that to anyone...i talk to anyone who talks to me first im just too shy

Color me blind... or ignorant, or whatever, but why exactly do you cut yourself? What do you get out of it? You cry all of the time... so... what are you sad about? What the hell is it with kids these days. Life doesn't just change on its own. If you aren't happy, instead of cutting yourself, or crying, CHANGE things.

I could go off on a mad rant right now, but I am holding it in. Please explain your behavior, as I would like a little more insight.

Gernald
Feb 10, 2009, 10:26 AM
I'm not a mean person I meant emo as in wear black, cry all the time and cut myself,. I don't say things like that to anyone... I talk to anyone who talks to me first I'm just too shy

That's what you might call depression and is a psychological issue that needs to be dealt with. The problem seems to be your attitude twords everything and everyone else, not necessarily their attitude twords you.
Think about how you look at other people before you judge them and allow them to judge you. They might think your as stuck up as you think they are.

jmw0713
Feb 10, 2009, 11:18 AM
It's OK to be shy.

To add to what KC said, cutting yourself is not the way to go about dealing with pain.

I know why you do it too. You want to take your mind off the emotional pain you're feeling, so you cut yourself. This makes you focus on the physical pain instead instead of the mental pain. As a result, you inflict more damage on yourself, by leaving scars and not dealing with the emotional pain that is making you do this.

Have you ever tried talking to anyone about your problems? (Parents, friends, doctors)

Why are you so sad all the time?

I'm sorry if I come off as being mean... I'm just trying to help and understand.

bobbalina
Feb 11, 2009, 05:40 AM
My dad yells at me a lot just like the other day... my parents really won't listen to me and I cry over anything anyone is telling me I don't know why? Its just a habit I've tried t stop cutting myself but sometimes I enjoy the pain you know?

jmw0713
Feb 11, 2009, 07:39 AM
You enjoy the pain because it makes your mind focus on it, rather than the real problem. Have you thought about seeing a professional about your problems? What about the school guidance councilor?

bobbalina
Feb 11, 2009, 10:18 AM
No I haven't I don't want to cause they'll only make the problem bigger my parents know I do and they haven't said anything I really don't know what to do

kctiger
Feb 11, 2009, 10:19 AM
You are beautiful, and you choose to ruin your own beauty by cutting yourself. This is about you not believing in yourself, plain and simple. I believe in you, so why don't you?

jmw0713
Feb 11, 2009, 10:21 AM
How would seeing and talking to someone make the problem bigger? They are there to help, not cause more trouble.

bobbalina
Feb 12, 2009, 07:00 AM
I think that if I talk to anybody then they'll start flippin out and asking all these pressuring dumb ?s and I just can't handle that right now... and kctiger I don't know where you got this beautiful thing but I really don't think I am... ive never been asked out in my life and all I do is just want to find somebody but I don't see how that's going to happen... I don't want to wait forever for someone...

kctiger
Feb 12, 2009, 07:04 AM
Me:

I was an ugly duckling. Was NOT attractive at all in high school, and even freshmen year of college. NEVER went on a date until I was around 19 (a real date). Girls didn't even want to look at me... I was "that" guy for a long time. Finally landed a date when I got out of high school, and that turned pretty bad, as I wasn't really all that interested in her, and I didn't know how to hanlde myself.

Late bloomer. Didn't have a REAL relationship until I was 21, but I enjoyed the hek out of myself from 18-21, so it wasn't a big deal. LOTS of fun. Now, I am fairly good at talking to girls... things change.

You are beautiful. There is no such thing as ugly. I have met of some the most beautiful, "attractive" women around, and most of them turned out to be truly ugly, it was just their outter beauty that was decent.

Don't EVER think you aren't good enough, and NEVER let someone tell you that you aren't. You will not be waiting forever. There are at least a quarter of a billion guys that would ask you out in a second... the world is a lot bigger than your high school, you will learn that shortly.

bobbalina
Feb 12, 2009, 07:11 AM
You really think there's that many guys? Hmmm? Well that right there gives me some incouragement I don't know why but that makes me feel better inside thanks:)

kctiger
Feb 12, 2009, 07:12 AM
I KNOW, without a doubt in my mind, you will find that "special" someone. It will happen. Don't worry about it, just enjoy what YOU enjoy, and things will fall into place, trust me.

bobbalina
Feb 12, 2009, 07:15 AM
OK I'll trust you on this but I hope I'm not the one that becomes a 40 year old virgin... :(