Well right now I'm 16 and he's 18. We've been together about 2 years now and we talked about marriage before when we started going out but now he gets mad if it gets brought up. He says he's 18 years old and he doesn't want to be thinking about getting married or anything like that. Will he ever want to?

Also... he like never wants to show that he cares much. Like he's afraid to hold hands and stuff

Its so hard for me to understand my boyfriend. I mean when he jokes, I don't know if he's joking or not. I don't even know if he loves me or not. And when I think about it and I look around and see how other guys are like my brother for example, it like they are the same way. I just have no idea how they REALLY feel about things and its like they hide it so good. But my friends who are all girls, or other females I can always sense if they don't really like me or whatever. I just wish I could tell about my boyfriend. But I cant, why is it like this?

My boyfriend almost never really shows it but he says its because of how he was raised. Even his friends call him a "cold hearted" person. Every now and then he shows it but its like he's afraid and I feel sorry for him and like no ones ever cared about him and that kind of seems true... but he doesn't want me to care about him either. I'm so confused... he says he tries to love me but he loves NO ONE. Is their anything I can do for him? Other times he says that he DOES love me

my bf almost never really shows it but he says its because of how he was raised. even his friends call him a "cold hearted" person. every now and then he shows it but its like hes afraid and i feel sorry for him and like no ones ever cared about him and that kinda seems true.... but he doesnt want me to care about him either. im so confused.... he says he tries to love me but he loves NO ONE. Is their anything i can do for him? Other times he says that he DOES love me
You can be there for him and be a friend. His problem expressing how he feels is really bothering you though. He will have to work it out for himself. He has to want to! You can not fix it for him. If it is hurting you, tell him. Breaking up for while may make things clearer for both of you.

He is playing a guy game it goes... "I am sooooo broken by life,I can not be counted on to give attention, affection, consideration to anyone else"
Rule#1 it is his game, he is the one getting the negative attention
Rule#2 he can at any time be all broken again
Rule#3 drinking and or drugs can be a big part of the game
Have fun with this one, do not expect a lot, you will not be disappointed

Well he quit drinking and drugs for me

At 18 amd upi 16 normally it is not time to start talking about marrrigae, but dating and enjoying being together. In 3 or 4r years would be when you start talking marriage after you are out of school, he is out of college or at lest tech school and working on good job.

On the holding hands, some people show things more than others, due ot culture, you need to discuss that with him

When I talk to him about any of this he gets mad and he wond ever say why

Beth give this relationship some time, you are both very young. You should never settle for less respect, attention and affection than a normal dating relationship though. He may just not know what to say, he needs to make the effort in any case. You don't need to be treated shabbily by a boyfriend.

I think you are putting too much pressure on the guy to think about what he cannot even deal with at this point in life, and honestly your both to young at this point. If you know he is doesn't want to talk about marriage, drop it and have fun and let the future take care of itself. Your time will come, but its not now, and you cannot force it.

Guys do not show emotion as much as females do. It is considered unmanly and weak for a guy to show when they are hurting/upset. This is a belife that has been passed down through the generations and one that will probably continue to be passed down through to the generations to come.

Think about it, do you two have fun together? does he protect you? Does he want to hangout with you often? And so on...
If its yes to most of these sorts of questions then I believe he does love you

When he jokes, if he has a smile on his face, chances are he is joking.

It's a guy thing. I know that doesn't really help but its true. If it makes you feel any better a lot of guy don't really understand girls. Like most of the time we don't know if girls are playing hard to get or just don't want to get caught, so when they say no we might still be thinking yes. I can always tell if some guy is mad or something, but that's mostly because if a guy shows an emotion other than "i don't care" most of the time it will be anger. Guys are stupid most of the time, but then again girls are too. Just in different ways.

I need a lot of help with everything that's going on. Theirs a lot and its so long of a story that I don't even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I won't say the whole story because its way too long but I will tell you bits and pieces. Right now, he thinks I want his friend and I don't. So he's kida ignoring me. I only can talk to him at school and that's it. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me but he doesn't want to be hurt anymore. There is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind... I already know that no matter what and even if I want to I will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I Want to give up on it I won't. I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that I really do love him and I don't want anyone else and I don't want him to be hurt but I want to stay with him forever. I want him to know that I want things between us to be better than they ever were before and us to try to have fun together and get along better and not be misserable together because we both do love each other and we both don't like hurting each other and going throgh this but some how this is how it is... I tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never got it back. I told him to try to call me if he can and he said he would but he never did, then again he really isn't aloud to so maybe that's why... I tried giving him another note and he said "i'l just lose it" so I ended up keeping it and he never read it. I told him to call me then and that was yesterday. So far he hasn't called. He said he would try though. And when I try to talk to him, he acts like he doesn't know me. I think that since he hasn't read that note he may still think that I want his friend and not him so he may be confused as to why I am talking to him. The day before yesterday, I told him in person that I want him and everything, then we kind of talked for like 10 seconds but then later I went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kind of walked away from me. The only time he talks to me is when I go up to him and he doesn't really say anything. But he sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one that we have together, he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention and then I kind of looked at him and then looked away and he just said "dont look at me like that"
But I don't know what to do.,. I mean from what I said, do you think if I wait, he will seee I'm not even talking to his friend and start to come back to me? Should I keep trying to talk or wait a little while before I say more to him? What's the best way to get him to come to me?
And he thinks I want his friend because of something that happened a few weeks ago... He said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her so I lied and said I wanted his friend and then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasn't a lie and I don't know what to believe their because he makes things up sometimes to try to make me mad or see what I would do . But then I noticed him ignoring me so I told him that if he didn't want me to give to his friend because I was mad about eveything he told me about that other girl and when all thart was going on he said he didn't want me anymore so he was going to give to his friend. That all made me mad when I was only thinking about it so I said that to him but only becayse of everything he said to me.


I may have giving you somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this because its such along story but I tried to make it short.
But basiccaly I want to know how I can get him to talk to me

Wow, Beth, to tell the truth, this post was kind of hard to read. Proper paragraphs and punctuation make it so much easier.

Now, is this the same guy that was drinking and doing drugs?

Hun, you can't make anyone do something they are not willing to do. You can't make him want you.

This post was all about what YOU want... "I want him to know..." Even if I want to give up I won't... " etc.

Relationships are not all about what you want, but what is best for both of you. Right now he does not want to be in a relationship with you, and there is nothing you can do to change his mind. Don't even try. Because if you do, and you succeed, he will harbor resentment or mistrust.

It is very obvious that this is not a healthy relationship and that you need to let him have his space and you have your own space. Lying to a partner is never a wise decision and will ALWAYS backfire.

That's it? I don't get like any real good help? Anyone who understands and knows exactly what to do? I mean, OK, if I want us to dtay toegther but he doesn't, what do we do? He wanted us to stay together before but now its like he thinks I just want to hurt him and I don't. And I know part of him still wants to stay with me..,.
This is the only time he has ever wanted to leave and wasn't mad but usually I talk him into staying. Now, its gettign harder because I think maybe just maybe I really could live without him but I don't know. I lost all my feelings. But I still see it like he's always going to be their with me. Its like this time I'm just not trying as hard. \



Also... I don't believe in god. But I preayed to god anyway to dream out all the answers to everything that will happen so I know what to do... that night I had a dream he changed and was a lot better towards me... he keeps talking to this girl at my school. They seem to just argue a lot in a joking way. But I had another dream a few nights later that he liked her

There can be no "good help" from us if he doesn't want to be with you. It's his decision, not ours.

Why do you think part of him wants to stay with you? I don't get that feeling at all from what you wrote. I say move on.

I know part of him wants to stay because of what he said when he wrote me. He said he didn't want to be hurt anymore and he felt bad about leaving me but he hopes that everything works out with me and his friend.. . I don't want his friend though and I can't get the chance to teel him that... I know if we could talk about it it would chang

N I notice he really does seem 2 look reaaly sad lately and I've never seen him that way before

I know you, don't I.

If you talk about it, it would change because you would make him feel guilty?

It would change because I would get the chance to let him know how much I love him and I don't want him to be hurt. And yeah you do no me SHHHHHH!!

Do you think there's still a chance he will want to talk to me?
It seems like inside he wants to but then he just doesn't show that he wants to... like he's trying to see how far I will go to get him to talk to me or something.
But I had a dream last night that I was holding hands with someone else. I prayed to god I would dream about what would happen with this whole thing. At least, I think it was someone else but it could have been him but he doesn't like to hold hands. The person in my dream had longer hair though but he's letting his grow out anyway even though I told him he looks better with it shorter.

it would change because i would get the chance to let him know how much i love him and i dont want him to be hurt.

And that will make him love you? Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

Have you read everything else I said ? Its not that he doesn't love me... its just that he thinks I want someone else when I don't. And he says he doesn't want to be hurt

Let me see --

- he thinks I want his friend
- he's kida ignoring me
- he wrote a note saying that he doesn't want to be hurt anymore
- he said that one of his friends took [the note from me] from him and that he never got it back
- he said he would [call] but he never did
- he said "i'l just lose [another note from me]"
- he hasn't called
- he acts like he doesn't know me
- he just seemed mad again
- he just kind of walked away from me
- The only time he talks to me is when I go up to him
- he doesn't really say anything
- I kind of looked at him and then [he] looked away and said "dont look at me like that"
- he said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her
- then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasn't a lie
- I noticed him ignoring me
- he said he didn't want me anymore
- he was going to give [me] to his friend

Now, what is your question again?

Its how I can get to tell him everything I want to tell him, and you only metioned the bad parts, not ant of the goodf

And some how I just now that we will still end up together. I really just know it

Its how i can get to tell him everything i wanna tell him, and you only metioned the bad parts, not ant of the goodf

I summarized only what you said he did or said. I didn't read any "good parts" that he did or said.

and some how i just now that we will still end up together. I really just know it

Your "knowing it" has no basis in fact. I am absolutely sure I will win the Illinois lottery Tuesday evening, but my "knowing" that doesn't make it true and won't make it happen.

It wasn't good that he felt bad about leaving me? Hes ignoring me because I want his friend. He thinks I'm with his friend and that's why. I can't tell him that I'm not because I can't talk to him.
And when he said to quit looking at him like that he didn't say it in a bad way, he said it like he would before any of this, like he wanted to talk to me. Then he kept looking at me and facing me like he was trying to get my attention but I couldn't say anything because it was in the middle of class and we sit like right up front by the teacher

Why does he thinks you want his friend?
Why is he ignoring you?
Why did he write a note saying that he doesn't want to be hurt anymore?
Why did he say that he would [call] but he never did?
Why hasn't he called at all -- or IMed or emailed?
Why does he act like he doesn't know you?
Why does he seem mad again?
Why does he walk away from you?
Why does he talk to you only when you go up to him?
Why doesn't he really say anything?
Why does he say, "Dont look at me like that."
Why does he say he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave you for her?
Why does he ignore you? Then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasn't a lie
Why does he say he doesn't want you anymore?
Why does he want to give you to his friend? (huh?? )

He called... but it didn't go so well. But my mom thinks he's just playing around and in a few more days or so he'll come back wanting to tlak with me.

Wondergirl, Remember the story about Tyler? Do you know who I am? Remember how he was "testing" me? The only way to end the test was if I failed and he brought up his froend so I said fine, you found someone else already so yeah have tyler call me.

That's the reason to all of this.
And when he said don't look at me like that it was because I kind of rolled my eyes at him and he didn't say it like he was mad or anything, just like he was joking around with me\
\




SOrry about all my typos

And I ask him some of those same4 questions... he says he doesn't know why he doesn't like me anymore or why he doesn't want to talk,

I know exactly who you are (since your first post, and every time you start a thread and with whatever name you use--your writing gives you away). I also remember Tyler.

I suggest you forget J for a while and concentrate on your spelling and sentence structure. By the first of the year, I want to see healthy sentences, correctly-spelled words (including "sense"), and good grammar. If you do that or at least try harder, I will tell you the secret to winning J back.

How do I know you will? How do I know that you aren't just saying that?

I don't lie. And at least you will be using good grammar, etc. so it's a win-win situation, isn't it.

Of course, to win him back you will have to follow my instructions to the letter and not do things your way or mix your way with my way.

I just don't see why I should bother living if I can't have him. Iv'e never had a good friend in my whole life. The only people who ever were friends with me didn't like me, they just felt sorry for me. I don't want friends though because they just turn their backs on you. He was the only person that wasn't family and actually cared about me, or so I thought. When he was aloud to talk to me, I didn't always have to call him, he would call me about once a day. I never had a friend like that. My friends always called me maybe once a month and only if they needed something.

I don't lie. And at least you will be using good grammar, etc. so it's a win-win situation, isn't it.

Of course, to win him back you will have to follow my instructions to the letter and not do things your way or mix your way with my way.

Is this something that I'm going to want to do? Is this something that your sure will work? I just don't want to mess things up anymore than they already are.

Is it anymore or any more?

any more Two words in this instance.

your sure will work should be you're sure will work - you're = you are

Your writing is improving already! Wow!

Well, I have dated many guys and it always worked back during the time of dinosaurs when I was your age. The trick is that you have to do things exactly as I tell you. I am not sure if you can handle that.

I forgot to tell you that he said he has other plans. I asked him what they were and he wouldn't tell me that either. Then he just said "I don't know yet, grown up plans." He keeps referring to me as "a little kid," and he wasn't like that until he turned 18. He pretty much said that he's been trying to leave me for a few weeks now (when he turned 18).
He didn't seem mad at all. By his tone of voice, it was like the same sound as when he really used to care about me a lot. It hurts to hear that same voice say that he doesn't want to be with me any more.

Well, you've been acting like a little kid with him. Probably why he calls you that.

any more Two words in this instance.

your sure will work should be you're sure will work - you're = you are

Your writing is improving already! Wow!

Well, I have dated many guys and it always worked back during the time of dinosaurs when I was your age. The trick is that you have to do things exactly as I tell you. I am not sure if you can handle that.

Why would can't I be able to? How bad could it possibly be? I suppose it couldn't be as bad J and I never talking again, Right?

Can I share with you a poem that I wrote about a week ago?

I'm not sure you would be strong enough to follow directions exactly. It's easy enough but not your usual way of doing things. It probably wouldn't work because you would forget and go back to your usual way.

But then, like you say, what do you have to lose?

Sure, share away. Then I have to leave to go to bed. I work tomorrow and my electric blanket is calling me.

I focused in on the part where you talked about praying. Prayer works. It doesn't work too well when you ask for something for yourself though. You have to let it go, if only for a while. Think about all the wonderful things you would like him to have and be. Ask that those be given to him. You love him. That's acting like it. Then, forget all about it and do nice things for other friends or family members. When you start thinking about it again, pray for him again.

I'm trying to find my way out of this place I'm in,
The walls are getting thicker,
I'm falling deeper,
It's how I feel about you,
I can't escape it.
I can't explain it.
I can't erace it.
All I know is:
Everyday I try finding a way to get by
Everyday I cry, wondering if we will always be together,
And everyday I wonder why it hurts me so much to love you like I do.
But I try making things better,
I try not to cry,
Days go by and it gets harder,
Because none of it matters,
It's to late to go back.
I'm sorry for any wrong Iv'e done.
I just want you forever
I want things between us to get better.
I think you love me,
I know I love you,
So, Why can't we be happy and forget what all we out each other through?





Sorry, I know I probably didn't type that so well. I'm not good with the poems.


Why do you think that wouldn't work?

The poem is good, but depressing, but then I guess love poetry is often depressing.

Do you think you could follow my directions? I would be very clear. You couldn't do your own thing, only my way. Think about it.

I'm off and headed for bed.

Two friday's ago, he wrote me a note and this is what it said:

I guess I do have sentimental feelings. I just don't show them like you. I felt sad when you told other boys you loved them. And I feel bad about leaving you. You think this is a test, it never was a test. You seem intenet on Tyler. Talk to him or date him, but don't ask me to help you. I won't get in your way, and I won't have any part of it. Leave me out of your life, and I'll leave you out of mine. Wev'e been together for a long time. Lots of lies, empty promises, hurt feelings. If it hasn't worked out yet, it never will.
Good luck with Tyler, I hope it all works out. As for me, I'll wait for a girl who isn't afraid to talk to me in class. Who will always try to be close to me, and isn't afraid to show her feelings. And she has to be sane and honsest. Only then, will I change myself. And if she never comes, then I'll remain alone. But at least I'll never be hurt again.

Unsincerly not yours


P.S. - I will not protect you from other people and their insults











I typed this exactly as he wrote it. If there are any misspelled words or anything, that's how he wrote it too.

The poem is good, but depressing, but then I guess love poetry is often depressing.

Do you think you could follow my directions? I would be very clear. You couldn't do your own thing, only my way. Think about it.

I'm off and headed for bed.

It all depends on what it is I guess, but I am too afraid to have to face him tomorrow at school so I'm thinking about staying home.

UPDATE...
Today at school, we did not talk at all. I didn't even look at him. He kept talking to this other girl in a class we have together. He's been talking to her kind of a lot lately. Most of the time they just argue and keep telling each other how much they hate each other but it sounds more like they are just joking around. I don't know whether I should be worried about it or not. I wouldn't be but he's talking to her way too much and he doesn't talk to me at all. Did I mention my mom said, he'll probably come back in a day or 2 and she thinks that he is just playing games again? When he was talking that girl, I wanted to get up and push her out of her desk and just stand on her face and jump around then twist her head off and pick her up by her arms and swing her around in the air and let go and let her go flying through the window or into the wall. As if that isn't bad enough, this morning was so bad. I can't even talk about it though.

Let it be, just let things be. Give yourself some attention, you're the most important person that you should be caring about, not him.

Watch. Now, Wondergirl's no longer going to come here just so I can never get him back.

Should I start talking to his friend? Maybe if I do, I will fall in love with him and forget about J. Then again, that probably won't happen. I could never do that. Its' just that I know it's only a matter of time before he finds someone else. Then I will just be hurt more. But I don't want to hurt him any more. I only want him though and I guess I can't have him. These last couple days, my life has changed so much. I think this is how it feels to know that it's only a matter of time before you end up killing yourself. I know in another year, I WILL be dead. Their's no doubt about it. Maybe even in another week. I just know. I feel like I'm already dead. I can't do anything. All I do is sit and stare, wondering how much longer I will be miserable and when this will all end. Then last night, I can't remember my exact dream but I do know that I was dreaming of him because I woke up thinking to myself 'too bad this dream will never come true.' In that dream it was like everything was how it was before things got bad and when we could talk to each other. I had everything I could ever want and lost it all.

WONDERGIRL, I NEED your help ASAP. The school called my house and told my parents that we broke up for good and that I was going to kill myself. He keeps talking to other people and it's like he already forgot me. It kills me that he could even want this and be okay about it.

I'm here - home from work.

Finally. I need you to help me. Please.

You want to go to email, or talk here?

Someone else might have helpful things to add on this thread.

I'm really tired and I won't be awake much longer but I don't want to go another day like this. I can't stand not talking to him. It's kind of like I want to go up to him and say something but I won't because I won't because I don't know what to say and I know if I tried talking to him he would tell me to leave him alone or something.
When I type, it keeps jumping around all the time, so if there are random words in here that's why.

It doesn't matter to me.

Your sentence structure is MUCH better!

What do you want me to do for you?

I need alot of help with everything thats goin on. Theirs alot and its so long of a story that i dont even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I wont say the whole story because its way too long but i will tell you bits and peices. Right now, he thinks i want his friend and i dont. so hes kida ignoring me. I only can talk to him at school and thats it. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me but he doesnt wanna be hurt anymore. Their is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind.... i already know that no matter what and even if i want to i will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I Want to give up on it i wont. I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that i really do love him and i dont want anyone else and i dont want him to be hurt but i wanna stay with him forever. I want him to know that I want things between us to be better than they ever were before and us to try to have fun together and get along better and not be misserable together because we both do love each other and we both dont like hurting each other and going throgh this but some how this is how it is............ i tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never got it back. I told him to try to call me if he can and he said he would but he never did, then again he really isnt aloud to so maybe thats why..... I tried giving him another note and he said "i'l just lose it" so i ended up keeping it and he never read it. I told him to call me then and that was yesterday. So far he hasnt called. he said he would try though. And when i try to talk to him, he acts like he doesnt know me. I think that since he hasnt read that note he may still think that i want his friend and not him so he may be confused as to why i am talking to him. The day before yesterday, i told him in person that i want him and everything, then we kinda talked for like 10 seconds but then later i went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kinda walked away from me. The only time he talks to me is when i go up to him and he doesnt really say anything. But he sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one that we have together, he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention and then i kinda looked at him and then looked away and he just said "dont look at me like that"
But i dont know what to do.,. I mean from what i said, do you think if i wait, he will seee im not even talking to his friend and start to come back to me? Should i keep trying to talk or wait a little while before i say more to him? whats the best way to get him to come to me?
And he thinks i want his friend because of something that happened a few weeks ago.... He said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her so i lied and said i wanted his friend and then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasnt a lie and i dont know what to believe their becuase he makes things up sometimes to try to make me mad or see what i would do . but then i noticed him ignoring me so i told him that if he didnt want me to give to his friend because i was mad about eveything he told me about that other girl and when all thart was going on he said he didnt want me anymore so he was going to give to his friend. That all made me mad when i was only thinking about it so i said that to him but only becayse of everything he said to me.


I may have givin u somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this because its such along story but i tried to make it short.
but basiccaly i wanna know how i can get him to talk to me
Maybe you should let him be for a while.

Some time apart could really help him realize:

a) You're not interested in anyone else, especially not his friend.

b) How much he misses you, if that's the case, which I think it will be.

If you're always available to him, he won't realize what he would be missing out on!

Hope this helps some.

Please check out my question, "What move should I make? Or should I even make one?"
:)

Tell me what I have to do to get J back.

How do you usually act when you are around him? -- facial expression, eye contact, speaking or not speaking, general attitude and behavior?

Your sentence structure is MUCH better!!

What do you want me to do for you?


I don't even really have to think anymore. I just type it all out better.

I bet you're typing better in hopes that I will tell you the way to get him back.

How do you usually act when you are around him? -- facial expression, eye contact, speaking or not speaking, general attitude and behavior?
Well, you know how we aren't aloud to speak to each other? Now, Iv'e began to be a little afraid of talking to him. I usually don't say much and as for now, I'm afraid to even look at him. Normally all I do is say the same things over and over... "don't forget to call me." '' Try to call me if you can." That kind of stuff. ( sorry I messed this whole sentence up. ) Because he said that he doesn't want to talk to me, I have been avoiding him all together. Before, I talked to him a little but not a lot and mainly only because I have no idea what to say to him and I always have to be so careful with what I say so that he doesn't get mad. I used to practically stare at him all hour, but not these last few days. Facial expression I would guess is just kind of plain, I can't think of any other way of describing it. As far as how I act around him, I don't really know.

Do you still help him with homework?

Are you close to getting your license?

I was in my basement on Thursday and my dads room is down there. He keeps a loaded pistol near his bed. I thought about shooting myself. The only thing that stopped me was thinking, ' what if I do it and then 5 minutes later J calls and says that he was joking about this whole thing and wants to be with me?' So, I kept waiting. He never called until Sunday, only to tell me that he didn't want anything to do with me. I don't know how I haven't been crying. I mean, I have been every now and then but not as much as I used to and I hurt more this time.

Why doesn't he want to have anything to do with you? I know all of what you said earlier. Now, tell me in five words or less.

Beth,
My advise to you is let this situation make you a stronger person, because you seem to me a bit needy. NO MAN LIKES NEEDY. Know if this guy truly has feelings for you he will search you out when he's ready. You sound young and it's important to move on when someone lets you go. I always said to myself when some guy hurt me, my, " Mr. Right, " wouldn't let me go so easily. The guy sounds like he used jealousy as an excuse to break it off with you. So sorry for being blunt but it's best to look else where.

A true man wouldn't care what his friends say. He would hug, kiss and hold hands with his girl right in front without embarrassment.

Do you still help him with homework?

Are you close to getting your license?

Two friday's ago when he wrote me that note that I posted earlier in this thread, I still copied down some notes for him in one of our classes. I gave that to him that Monday. Then I believe it was on that Tuesday or wendsday, I went up to him and told him that basically the note that his other friend took said that I don't want anyone else. He said "If thats what it said then you won't mind doing this" and he showed me his homework for another class. I didn't do it though. I was so happy he was talking to me though. Then the next day he avoided me again. Then Sunday he called and said he didn't like me anymore and he had other plans, which he wouldn't say.

I think that I am supposed to retake my driving test over Christmas break.

Why doesn't he want to have anything to do with you? I know all of what you said earlier. Now, tell me in five words or less.

I don't know. I tried asking him but he wouldn't really say. He just kept saying that he had to go every time I would ask him.

Did you flunk one already? If so, what did you mess up on?

Did you flunk one already? If so, what did you mess up on?


What do you mean? Sorry, I'm really slow today and I'm having trouble thinking and understanding. I think it's because the whole last week, Iv'e only gotten a few hours of sleep each night and I have so much on my mind.

Did you flunk one already? If so, what did you mess up on?

Sorry. Driving test.

I need to ask you 1 thing. This girl at my school, said she would talk to him for me if I wanted her to. Should I have her talk to him or not? What should she say?

Sorry. Driving test.

Oh. Sorry, I forgot I even talked about that. Lol. Yeah, I failed it because of the parellel parking. I had no Idea what I was doing.

No, it's up to you, not her.

The written part was a joke. One of the questions was something like:
When you get to a stop sign do you
A) All of the above.
B) Ignore it.
C) Stop.
D) Speed up.

Oh. Sorry, I forgot I even talked about that. lol. Yeah, I failed it because of the parellel parking. I had no Idea what I was doing.

Wow! Illinois doesn't even require parallel parking. I'm surprised your state does. I've rarely needed to know how because of pull-in parking everywhere. There's definitely a trick to parallel parking.

My mom told me that she didn't think they required it anymore. But they did and I couldn't do it so I failed. I hate driving though. I hate it with a passion. Anyway, back to J.

The written part was a joke. One of the questions was something like:
When you get to a stop sign do you
A) All of the above.
B) Ignore it.
C) Stop.
D) Speed up.

Yeah, the written part you could pass in your sleep.

My favorite question was:

If you see a pedestrian in the crosswalk in front of you, do you:
a. drive around him
b. stop and let him cross
c. nudge him a little with your bumper so he hurries
d. just keep going

I'm afriad about tomorrow. I sure, hope they don't put me in the mental hospital or anything. That girl told the teacher I wanted to kill myself and so the school called my parents but I told my parents I had no idea what they were talking about and that I never said that.

Yeah, the written part you could pass in your sleep.

I didn't think I would pass it but then I couldn't help but laugh when I took it. I really did too. I talked to this one girl, she said it took her like 3 tries. Iv'e never passed a test in my life and I got it the 1st time.

Could you give him a note? Would he read it? (I would tell you what to write.)

Could you give him a note? Would he read it? (I would tell you what to write.)
Iv'e tried. The one note, he said his friend took and wouldn't give back. I thought everything I said in it was perfect to get him to stay. I tried giving him another one. I told him to not let anyone get it but he didn't even take it. He just said "I'll just lose it." So, I told him to call me then. I wanted him to call so I could tell him what it said but he wouldn't let me. I tried telling him that I wanted to tell him what that note said but he just said "I made my desicion. I thought we were clear on this." I tried to tell him how much I wanted us to be together and he just said "Too bad, that isn't going to happen."

Wondergirl, where'd you go? Your not ice skating without me are you?
Well, I think I'm off to bed. Unless you had anything to tell me really quick.

What will you do?

I don't know. I was hopeing that you would help me with that. As for, now. I really need some sleep. I just started screaming because I seen my hand up in the air from the corner of my eye and I thought it was a face. I'm so tired, I don't know what is going on. I know I probably don't make sense now and I'm probabley misspelling a lot. But I wouldn't be. I am just so tired. So, I will be on tomorrow. Shoud I worry about it? I mean do you think some point in time, he will talk to me? It bothers me to see him just be OK with the whole thing.

It will work out.

The written part was a joke. One of the questions was something like:
When you get to a stop sign do you
A) All of the above.
B) Ignore it.
C) Stop.
D) Speed up.
Or,
E) Squeal Tires On Pavement! S.T.O.P.

Couldn't resist! :)

Beth, J doesn't want a needy girlfriend. That's what you are. Stop. Right now. Stop.

Now, think about it. What can you do to act NOT needy around him?

I don't know what I can do. Iv'e just been trying to hide all the tears and stuff when he's around. Iv'e been making it look like I have moved on even though I can't. A lot of people are starting to become my friends now. They say to talk to them in the hallway to make him jellous. How do I know he will talk me again? Or, how do I talk to him again?

Ok, What can I do? What can I do? What can I do? I feel like a little dog begging for bacon.

I'm home and here now. I hope you went to bed.

Ok, now I'm here. I'm really confused. I need to get this over with ASAP. I feel like I am moving on. I really don't want to. In a way though, I think it would be better but it isn't what I want. I said, I would never give up on us being together, even if I wanted to give up. That's what I'm going to do too. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. Right now I feel like I don't care. Give it time though, and it will hit me and I will hurt so bad. Hopefully it won't get that far and I will have him talking to me by Friday. Else, I have to wait an extra 2 weeks because of Christmas break. I won't be able to handle that. OMG. Tell me anything you can that will work. I only have 2 days. Please, please, help. QUICK.

Do you want to be in his life or not?

Okay just by reading this seems like you are being a bit over clingy to this boy in my experience with men not that I have had many men but from one expierience I'm kind of going through you have to understand that if he doesn't want to talk to you or read your letter or even call you its because he probably needs time to figure out what is going through his mind and what he wants men don't like clingy women one bit unless they are that way to you just kind of have to let this go day by day and see what happens just walk away for a while till he is ready if he is ever ready to talk to you then just sit down and have a conversation in relationships they go both ways not on just what one person wants in life you have to feel that way or else nothing will ever go rite for you not sure if this helps but I learned to do this with my sons father who has a lot of dulision that we are going to get back together and that is never going to happen things didn't work for us and I walked away because I wasn't dealing with his excuse my french but he obviously doesn't get the picture so I'm not trying to referr you as my ex but in ways you kind of are just because if this boy doesn't want to be around you rite now or talk to you then just let it go till he is possibly ready to talk to you I hope this helps if not then I'm sorry I know its hard going through what you are going through but in the end it might have a better outcome and mabey you guys are not meant to be you have to believe in god because no matter what he will always be by your side I believe in him but nothing ever goes my way lol you just have to be paitent I will be here if you need any more opinions hope all works out for you take care

Do you want to be in his life or not?
Of course I do. Now, all of a sudden this other girl is his "BFF." I remember him always saying to me "but I thought we were bff's."

Am I doing the right thing by ignoring him? What am I supposed to do? I need to know BEFORE tomorrow. Else, I'm going to have to go 2 more weeks of misery.

Just got an e-mail from him. He said he's doing fine and making friends and that in a week or 2 his dad is taking him to the recruiter for the air force.

Does that mean he will drop out of school?

I don't know. I need to get him to want to talk to me. I need to soon. Then maybe, just maybe I can keep him from going in the air force. If I could have him but he still joins that's still a million times better than this. I would still miss him but if I just knew that we were still going to be together, I would feel so much better. This girl at my school keeps wanting to call him and talk to him for me but I think he would get mad. She keeps telling me to try to look really nice and everything to make him jellous. He might just get mad though. I need to do something quick before it's too late. He's already becoming friends with other girls. My mom says that he's just doing it all to make me mad. It's so hard to get him to talk to me so I usually ignore him but I need him back ASAP!

If I'm not online, try to still tell me everything you can. I will be on later to read it, but tomorrows it. Then, I'm out of school for 2 weeks. Sometime in those 2 weeks, I am supposed to get my license and he is supposed to do what I was just talking about. He scored really high on the test. Like a 96%.

You don't "need him back ASAP". That's what's messing up your head. You made him the reason for your happiness, for your very existence. He's not the reason. Until you figure this out, there's no hope for the two of you.

I just realized something a few minutes ago. Before I knew him, I was hanging out with people I THOUGHT were my friends. I was into drugs. I got really bad grades. Never even showed up at school. I was always trying to run away and I was always trying to hurt myself. Then I met him. He let me know that, if they were my friends, they wouldn't get me into dtugs, they would get me out of it. He would get mad at me for not doing my work or showing up at school. He didn't want me to get hurt or in trouble so I didn't. Now, without him, I'm starting to head right back where I was. And when I promise myself something, I KEEP IT. If I can't talk to him SOON, I WILL do what I have to. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE HERE. YOU Didn't"T HELP ME LIKE PLANNED. I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN. ITS THE ONLY WAY. And, IF it DOESN:T WORK....... GUESS WHAT???? I SURE WON"T COME HERE BECAUSE IT WON'T HELP ANY. I WILL JUST HAVE TO GO OFF TO A BETTER PLACE AND R.I.P.

I just relized something a few minutes ago. Before I knew him, I was hanging out with people I THOUGHT were my friends. I was into drugs. I got really bad grades. Never even showed up at school. I was always trying to run away and I was always trying to hurt myself. Then I met him. He let me know that, if they were my friends, they wouldn't get me into dtugs, they would get me out of it. He would get mad at me for not doing my work or showing up at school. He didn't want me to get hurt or in trouble so I didn't. Now, without him, I'm starting to head right back where I was. And when I promise myself something, I KEEP IT. If I can't talk to him SOON, I WILL do what I have to. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE HERE. YOU DIDN"T HELP ME LIKE PLANNED. I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN. ITS THE ONLY WAY. And, IF it DOESN:T WORK....... GUESS WHAT???? I SURE WON"T COME HERE BECAUSE IT WON"T HELP ANY. I WILL JUST HAVE TO GO OFF TO A BETTER PLACE AND R.I.P.

When was the last time that you ever took someone's advice to heart that has been given to you on this site concerning your life situation?

When's the last time anyone actually gave me advice?

When's the last time anyone actually gave me advice?

Almost every time you have posted, you have been given the advice of others. Now, Wondergirl has been the primary one to stick with you. Here is a bit of advice from me right now. If I were you, I would be careful about showing anger on this site or "crying wolf" let alone the times that you have ignored the advice of others and just simply went on writing your diary here. Because, this thread, like others I remember, could also end up "hanging by a thread" and the "thread" just might end up breaking.

I'm sure that you know what I mean.

Wow, Beth, to tell the truth, this post was kind of hard to read. Proper paragraphs and punctuation make it so much easier.

Now, is this the same guy that was drinking and doing drugs?

Hun, you can't make anyone do something they are not willing to do. You can't make him want you.

This post was all about what YOU want... "I want him to know..." Even if I want to give up I won't... " etc.

Relationships are not all about what you want, but what is best for both of you. Right now he does not want to be in a relationship with you, and there is nothing you can do to change his mind. Don't even try. Because if you do, and you succeed, he will harbor resentment or mistrust.

It is very obvious that this is not a healthy relationship and that you need to let him have his space and you have your own space. Lying to a partner is never a wise decision and will ALWAYS backfire.
You got very good advice the very first post, but your reply?

That's it? I don't get like any real good help? Anyone who understands and knows exactly what to do? I mean, OK, if I want us to dtay toegther but he doesn't, what do we do?

Now this whole thing is about you, and you refuse the obvious, you can't control hs feelings. You go on and on about what you want. You need to accept he doesn't want a relationship with you, and end this "How come I can't have him" post, that is going nowhere. As a man I can tell you that it not going to happen. Sorry.

You need to accept the fact that you need to shut up

You need to accept the fact that you need to shut up

So you want advice, but it has to fit into your narrow parameters first before you accept it as valid?

Read this carefully: YOU have to get your act together first before you have any kind of chance to get J back.

I got another e-mail from him and he said that he doesn't like me or my personality. That was yesterday but I read it today. Then today he seen me talking to that one girl, then he said "Do you still go in the library for lunch?" I told him that I do and he said he had to tell me something. Then when I went into the library, he came in and I said "if this is something that I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know, don't tell me" he said in a voice that sounded like he was afraid of telling me or nervous "You aren't going to like this but one of your friends came up to me in the hallway and started asking me a bunch of questions. If you keep talking to people about me, I will tell people things about you that you won't like." I told him "ok now go to lunch" then he said "like your ex" then he walked away. I asked her what she said to him and she said she didn't talk to him. I tried to keep her from doing it but I know she kept wanting to talk to him for me.

Next time I see him, will be after he signs up for the air force. I'm not so worried about him going in if he still talks to me. It's if he doesn't talk to me. Then, what am I going to do?

I'm half tempted to find someone else, just as I am half tempted to kill myself. I know neither of them will happen. I'm just going to wait in pain until he decides to come back. I said I would never give up. Why can't he feel the same about me? What did I do to deserve this?

Welcome to real life, where we don't always get what we want. Deal with it.

Welcome to the real life, where you get on my ignore list

"Need to talk about a bad relationship"
You already know it's bad for you, why keep damaging yourself? Love is a two way street, and he doesn't feel the say you feel about him. Get that through your head and leave him be. We win some and lose some. Learn from what you did wrong, if anything, then forget it and move on. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times in his career. But he stepped up to the plate and took his cuts, which is why he also hit 714 home runs. The point? You CANNOT succeed without multiple failures first. EVERYONE FAILS AT SOME POINT. You cannot succeed every time you try, but you can learn from your failures, believe in yourself and your abilities, and try again, strengthen by the knowledge that comes from experience.
The lesson: Failure is a part of success. Do not let the prospect or the reality of failing deter you from trying again. Brush it off and move on. Temporary failure only becomes permanent if you let it happen.

When i say that i will never give up on him, i mean it

Have you always had a problem facing the truth??

beth911, what grade are you in? You mentioned school. Do they have counselors there? I suggest going to see one. Meantime, how are your grades doing through all this? How is your mental and emotional health? Your last statement: "WHEN I SAY that I will NEVER GIVE UP on HIm, I MEAN IT"--and so many other similar comments in your original post--could cause a person who's made it clear they don't feel the same way to wonder if they should be looking into a restraining order. Please ask a counselor to help you find some balance before you topple right over that edge, okay?

Theirs one priceless thing I want. I know I can have it sooner or later if I keep trying all I can. No one wants to help though

And that is?

It's for him to stay with me FOREVER. Other people (like him) are keeping my dreams from coming true. But isn't it true that if you keep trying really hard to get something and you never give up, that eventually sooner or later, you'll get it?

Wondergirl, I also need help with my commas. I never really know where they go. I seem to think that they go everywhere. And like that. I don't know when some stuff is 1 or 2 words. Even all the way back to kindergarten, I can remember myself never paying attention and not doing my work.

J sent me another e-mail and he is VERY VERY mad that one of my friends talked to him so he said that he was going to tell the whole school stuff about me.

But isn't it true that if you keep trying really hard to get something and you never give up, that eventually sooner or later, you'll get it?

No, that's not true. If it were, my life would be totally different and I would be living in New Jersey.

I am more than glad to help you with commas.

J sent me another e-mail and he is VERY VERY mad that one of my friends talked to him so he said that he was going to tell the whole school stuff about me.

Tell J you're sorry about how you've been acting and that you are in the process of learning the right way to act toward him and toward other people.

That's all you say. Sign it with your first name, no "love" or anything else. No more emails or notes to him unless you first ask me what to say.

I just got another e-mail from J. He said he planned on joining the airforce for 2 years and then getting with me when he got out. By then, I would be 18 and more mature. He said he felt bad about me. Then he said, now that I have friends and talk about him he doesn't give a S*** anymore.

o, I just realized I'm talking about him now. What do I do?

He's obviously been checking his mail a lot lately. I'm the only one who e-mails to that address and he hasn't sent me an e-mail in like 3 months. I sent him one a few weeks ago and it took him forever to reply. Now its like he's just waiting to hear from me.

Do what I said in the post above.

Wondergirl, can you get on mesanger?

Just for a little while. I have to go to bed soon. I'm going there now.

Wondergirl I need to talk asap

I'm in the middle of baking Christmas cookies and have to pack them up. Maybe in 15 minutes.

OK sorry it took so long

Wondergirl, today my mom asked if he e-mailed me or anything and I told her the whole story. She said he'll be wanting to talk to me by the end of the week. Then she said if he's getting mad at me for stuff like that, he needs to grow up and maybe the airforce would do him some good for that.

I agree about his needing to growing up. You need to do the same thing. Like I told you, these two years might be what helps both of you.

I am afraid that during that time he will realize that he doesn't need me and is much better off without me and he will find someone else.

OR he might realize what a blessing you are in his life.

AND you might realize you don't need him and are much better off without him and you will find someone else.

Or you may grow up and realise you don't feel the same anymore, and have found someone else your interested in.

HE e-mailed me back and said that I never did enough for him... so I listed everything I did and everything he did and how I treated him and how he treated me

HE e-mailed me back and said that i never did enough for him... so i listed everything I did and everything he did and how i treated him and how he treated me

So, now the two of you are keeping score. That's like playing a game. Keeping score in relationships is something that kids might do, but not mature individuals. This gives further credence to the fact that a lot of growing up needs to happen.

Like my mom said... "hes playing games"

Originally Posted by beth911
HE e-mailed me back and said that I never did enough for him... so I listed everything I did and everything he did and how I treated him and how he treated me

Originally Posted by Clough
So, now the two of you are keeping score. That's like playing a game. Keeping score in relationships is something that kids might do, but not mature individuals. This gives further credence to the fact that a lot of growing up needs to happen.


Like my mom said... "hes playing games"

So, if indeed he is playing games, then you do have a choice as to whether to play or not to play. In those kinds of games, a mature person would choose not to play.

He's obviously immayure to start it, right? So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it... I mean look at how he is acting too. But he thinks he's so perfect. And if I was more mature, he would find another reason to hate me. He would call me fat and hate me because I'm not like him. I'm at average weight and I weigh 5 lbs more than him. Sorry about my typos. I'm sure thiers a lot.

he's obviously immayure to start it, right? So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it... I mean look at how he is acting too. But he thinks he's so perfect. And if I was more mature, he would find another reason to hate me. He would call me fat and hate me because I'm not like him. I'm at average weight and I weigh 5 lbs more than him. Sorry about my typos. I'm sure thiers a lot.

In your statement below, is this in reference to me or your boyfriend?


Originally Posted by beth911
So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it...

He thinks I'm being immature, but he starts the games... I would be more than happy with out them

Then don't play them.

Just wish him well in his exciting new plan.

And don't bring up past and present bad things or even good things. The shorter and sweeter you are (without sarcasm), the nicer and more mature you appear to be. "J, I am so happy that you have made this decision. You will learn all sorts of new stuff, meet new people, and see the world! I envy you!"

Guy sounds like a 5th grade girl. No offense to 5th grade girls, but you guys know what you do.

He just sent an e-mail saying that the majority reasons why he things I am immature is that I cry when my pets die

He said I'm never their when he needs someone. Like how his cousin has cancer... he never told me his cousin has cancer.

Just be nice and remind him that females cry easily. They aren't tough like males are. Say, "Oh, J, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin! I wish you would have told me!"

Remember, be pleasant, don't play games, don't sass back at him, just be nice, keep it short and friendly. That will drive him nuts and make him realize you are changing for the better. It will keep him interested. Of course, if you screw up...

If I screw up, what?
He seems really upset that I talked to that 1 girl.

I don't think he's going to talk to me. I really don't. He doesn't want anything to do with me.

Don't contact him. Wait. Be patient.

Do you think he will come to me though? Do you think he will just forget about me?He keeps saying how glad he is to leave me and everything.

Also, I know I shouldn't but I think I'm going to reset the password on his skype and get into it and find out who else he has on their. I also think that he may have blocked me but I don't know.

Wow, he really must be hiding a lot. I know he has other e-mail adresses I don't know about. I can figure out his password to just about anything but not skype and I don't know what e-mail address he has that for.

Beth, stop it!! That is being the worst kind of girlfriend! He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

What is it about your relationship with this boy that makes you feel good, Beth?

Beth, stop it!!! That is being the worst kind of gf! He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.
What about how he treats me? He thinkd I don't do anything for him but I did a lot.

What is it about your relationship with this boy that makes you feel good, Beth?

I would appreciate and answer to my question, Beth. Thank you.

Yeah... you shouldn't snoop like that. That's kind of messed up. My ex broke up with me, and then she started getting mad at me about something that was on my email acct. which was weird... because it was a huge misunderstanding. But it pushed me away from her further and it made me change my password...

What about how he treats me? He thinkd I don't do anything for him but I did alot.

Stop making it all about you and how you suffer and how noble you are. That kind of person is called a martyr.

Stop making it all about you and how you suffer and how noble you are. That kind of person is called a martyr.

Thought martyrs were people who died for a cause, on top of those things... but mainly for a cause. In this case, she's not exactly doing this for a cause... cant' call her a martyr. Just... a really sad lady... who doesn't know what to do at this point.

thought martyrs were people who died for a cause, on top of those things...but mainly for a cause. in this case, she's not exactly doing this for a cause...cant' call her a martyr. just...a really sad lady....who doesn't know what to do at this point.

Yeah, she's dying for a cause--her cause. In psychology, a person who has a martyr complex desires the feeling of being a martyr for its own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it feeds a psychological need. "Oh, Sneezy, after all I've done for you. I've been such a good mother and you treat me like THIS?" That's a martyr.

I would appreciate and answer to my question, Beth. Thank you.
No one has ever cared about me before. Iv'e never even had friends that cared,

Originally Posted by Clough
What is it about your relationship with this boy that makes you feel good, Beth?

Originally Posted by Clough
I would appreciate and answer to my question, Beth. Thank you.

Originally Posted by beth911
No one has ever cared about me before. Iv'e never even had friends that cared.

Thank you for the answer to my question. So, how is he caring for you now?

He did before and now yeah... I'm 2 tired 2 think

Clough asked, "HOW did he care?" Any examples?

Later, I'll answer that.. Right now, he e-mailed me saying that he was looking for the perfect girl and he knows he'll never find her but he's still going to wait... I told him "yeah you never will find her because you just let her go"
But how could he have loved me and now not care anymore when I didn't do anything?

Then I just told him that's he's not perfect either and she wouldn't deserve someone who isn't.
He used to say if I just lost a few pounds I would be perfect and that he would never leave unless I cheated on him. I didn't cheat on him.

He was a lot like how I am to him and then he changed slowly.
He e-mailed me back and said "I am so perfect. How am I not?''


By the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! (He didn't say that part. I'm telling that to you)

He said that he showed that girl he's always talking to his "u no what" . Do you think he's just trying to upset me? I told him that I didn't care and there's no reason why he should be telling me that.

In one sentence you are saying how much you love each other and then in the next sentence you are saying he acts like he doesn't know me. If he really wants to be with you he wouldn't be so evasive and making excuses. Often when teens don't want to be with their gf/bf they don't want to have a scene or 'break up' so they just avoid because it seems to them to be the easy out.
Also at your age what many teens want one day is totally different another.

I'm confused by what he's saying... its like he's kind of talking to me but then every now in then he brings up that he doesn't want to talk to me and we aren't together anymore. He keeps talking about how he wants to go to strip clubs and stuff... do you think its just to make me mad?

Beth, J doesn't want a needy gf. That's what you are. Stop. Right now. Stop.

Now, think about it. What can you do to act NOT needy around him?

I already said that she was extremely needy. It's like she can't stand on her two front feet. :rolleyes:
Look teenage boys are really thinking of one thing and it's NOT "love."

Your b/f is just like you, young and confused.

im confused by what hes saying.... its like hes kinda talkin to me but then every now in then he brings up that he doesnt wanna talk to me and we arent together anymore. he keeps talkin about how he wants to go to strip clubs and stuff..... do u think its just to make me mad?

You are confused because you want to make things to fit the results you want and
Not accepting the explanations of his behavior that we have all given you.

He may want to simply be on decent talking terms with you but realizing that you are in denial that it is over he is saying stuff like wanting to go to strip clubs and so forth to make you accept he isn't the guy you think he is and think you love. Whether he actually wants to go to them or not is beside the point.

You are confused because you want to make things to fit the results you want and
not accepting the explanations of his behavior that we have all given you.

He may want to simply be on decent talking terms with you but realizing that you are in denial that it is over he is saying stuff like wanting to go to strip clubs and so forth to make you accept he isn't the guy you think he is and think you love. Whether he actually wants to go to them or not is beside the point.

Beth, get over him, because to me he sounds like a JERK. He keeps you hanging, enjoying all your attention while he secretly laughs at you. Look almost all woman went through what your going through. Trust me, this feeling you have will pass. Your are just obsessing over one fish in the sea. Not everyone is meant to be together. I was friends with my partner before we started going out. You think your "in love" but really your just hurting that this guy blew you off. I don't blame you, because he sounds like a JERK. Be friends with the next guy before lovers!

See eveyone tells me they've been through this and that I'll get over it... every time I think I'm going to be fine with out him I make sure I won't be. And theirs not a thing anyone can do to change that. That's why I say even if I feel like giving up on being with him I won't give up and I stick with it. I've felt like I would b OK but then I still make sure I don't give up.


We e-mailed each other back and forth for like 3 hrs last night. At least he was willing to talk to me but all he really did was try to make me mad. He kept talking about how he signed up for the airforce and how he's 18 now and he can go to strup clubs and all that other stuff. I'm hopeing he wasn't being serious.

Wondrgirl, if you read this.. Do you think that he was making that up to make me mad? He said that they were going to go somewhere but his dad was tired so they just went to the pancake house instead. He said none of his friends are old enough to go with him. Do you think he's just making up stories again? Or Do you think he's being serious?

Why do you keep posting, if you aren't going to listen to anyone? What are you trying to accomplish. If you are so ready to never give up, he will keep making you mad. Is that what you want??

Did I ask you? f88 no./

I might as well just give up. On life. He only keeps hurting me more and if I don't have him, id kill myself anyway.

He said that he sighned up already. But he kept asking me all these questions. He didn't seem to even know if he needed to graduate high school 1st. He didn't no like anything about it.
I'm just so happy because he said he would pretend to be friends with me.

Why do you keep posting, if you arent going to listen to anyone?? What are you trying to accomplish. If you are so ready to never give up, he will keep making you mad. Is that what you want?????

I agree with talaniman. Pretend to yourself that this guy secretly "loves". I don't care anymore. Bye

I talked to someone else about it and they said that they think he does still care about me and if he says he's going to pretend to my friend then that means he really wants to.

I need alot of help with everything thats goin on. Theirs alot and its so long of a story that i dont even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I wont say the whole story because its way too long but i will tell you bits and peices. Right now, he thinks i want his friend and i dont. so hes kida ignoring me. I only can talk to him at school and thats it. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me but he doesnt wanna be hurt anymore. Their is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind.... i already know that no matter what and even if i want to i will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I Want to give up on it i wont. I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that i really do love him and i dont want anyone else and i dont want him to be hurt but i wanna stay with him forever. I want him to know that I want things between us to be better than they ever were before and us to try to have fun together and get along better and not be misserable together because we both do love each other and we both dont like hurting each other and going throgh this but some how this is how it is............ i tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never got it back. I told him to try to call me if he can and he said he would but he never did, then again he really isnt aloud to so maybe thats why..... I tried giving him another note and he said "i'l just lose it" so i ended up keeping it and he never read it. I told him to call me then and that was yesterday. So far he hasnt called. he said he would try though. And when i try to talk to him, he acts like he doesnt know me. I think that since he hasnt read that note he may still think that i want his friend and not him so he may be confused as to why i am talking to him. The day before yesterday, i told him in person that i want him and everything, then we kinda talked for like 10 seconds but then later i went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kinda walked away from me. The only time he talks to me is when i go up to him and he doesnt really say anything. But he sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one that we have together, he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention and then i kinda looked at him and then looked away and he just said "dont look at me like that"
But i dont know what to do.,. I mean from what i said, do you think if i wait, he will seee im not even talking to his friend and start to come back to me? Should i keep trying to talk or wait a little while before i say more to him? whats the best way to get him to come to me?
And he thinks i want his friend because of something that happened a few weeks ago.... He said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her so i lied and said i wanted his friend and then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasnt a lie and i dont know what to believe their becuase he makes things up sometimes to try to make me mad or see what i would do . but then i noticed him ignoring me so i told him that if he didnt want me to give to his friend because i was mad about eveything he told me about that other girl and when all thart was going on he said he didnt want me anymore so he was going to give to his friend. That all made me mad when i was only thinking about it so i said that to him but only becayse of everything he said to me.


I may have givin u somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this because its such along story but i tried to make it short.
but basiccaly i wanna know how i can get him to talk to me
First of all.. I've been there. PLENTY of times. I'll tell you straight up what to do and I know you won't want to hear it because neither did I back then. The best thing to do is to let go of him. You are hanging on to something that you obviously take very seriously and he obviously doesn't. Why would you have such little respect for yourself to let somebody just string you and your feelings along. It's def not because of him thinking you like his friend. That is stricktly just an easy way out. You are young. You will kiss plenty of frogs before you meet your prince. If you keep wasting your time on him sooner or later you're going to wake up and think to yourself what a waste of time. Now seriously, do you really want to be with somebody who doesn't put you FIRST. Where you belong. Im sure you had your good times together. Now I know you don't want to hear any of that.. Now I'll tell you something that is only going to be temporary & I say temporary because usaully when people break up they may get back together a few times after but it's never a long term thing. You broke up for a reason & seriously you shouldn't waste the time on something that just isn't working. Anyway. This is how to temporarily get him back. First of all.. Your new motto is FAKE IT TILL I MAKE IT. Pretty much FAKE that you don't care about him FAKE that you're over him. Guys are natural born hunters. They want what they can't have. If it comes easy to them its no longer valuable. You don't see guys pulling over to pick up that road kill on the side of the road. BUT boyyy do they sure go out hunting for the SAME DAMN THING. Hes obviously good at playing mind games... but you are smarter than that. Don't let it get to you. When you feel him looking at you Don't look at him. Don't write him any notes. Don't talk to people at school about him because it WILL get back to him. Don't try to make him jealous either because it will prob backfire. Just act like you have your own life to worry about now. If & when he approaches you.. ALWAYS have someplace to go or some excuse that YOU can't talk now. Start putting him off. It will take a few weeks but it is worth the time because you will get him going nuts for you. Just don't give in too quickly. Always be busy. Fake it till you make it. Just don't give in. sometimes we have to play to get the things we want in life ;)

First of all.. I've been there. PLENTY of times. I'll tell you straight up what to do and I know you won't want to hear it because neither did I back then. The best thing to do is to let go of him. You are hanging on to something that you obviously take very seriously and he obviously doesn't. Why would you have such little respect for yourself to let somebody just string you and your feelings along. It's def not because of him thinking you like his friend. That is stricktly just an easy way out. You are young. You will kiss plenty of frogs before you meet your prince. If you keep wasting your time on him sooner or later you're going to wake up and think to yourself what a waste of time. Now seriously, do you really want to be with somebody who doesn't put you FIRST. Where you belong. Im sure you had your good times together. Now I know you don't want to hear any of that.. Now I'll tell you something that is only going to be temporary & I say temporary because usaully when people break up they may get back together a few times after but it's never a long term thing. You broke up for a reason & seriously you shouldn't waste the time on something that just isn't working. Anyway. This is how to temporarily get him back. First of all.. Your new motto is FAKE IT TILL I MAKE IT. Pretty much FAKE that you don't care about him FAKE that you're over him. Guys are natural born hunters. They want what they can't have. If it comes easy to them its no longer valuable. You don't see guys pulling over to pick up that road kill on the side of the road. BUT boyyy do they sure go out hunting for the SAME DAMN THING. Hes obviously good at playing mind games... but you are smarter than that. Don't let it get to you. When you feel him looking at you Don't look at him. Don't write him any notes. Don't talk to people at school about him because it WILL get back to him. Don't try to make him jealous either because it will prob backfire. Just act like you have your own life to worry about now. If & when he approaches you.. ALWAYS have someplace to go or some excuse that YOU can't talk now. Start putting him off. It will take a few weeks but it is worth the time because you will get him going nuts for you. Just don't give in too quickly. Always be busy. Fake it till you make it. Just don't give in. sometimes we have to play to get the things we want in life ;)

Ive already realized it's a waste of time... but I promised even if [B]I[B] wanted to, I would never give him up for anything.

Kmt, you make a lot of sense and I think you probably helped me more than anyone else has.

I need someone to tell me if it was good that I said this to him. I said "I kinda lost all my feelings and I have a life of my own to go live. See ya"
Later I went back and read it and I almost thought it was something that he sent me.
Truth is, I still love him and everything but its just like I'm numb or something. I can't really feel sad or happy or anything.

OK
No more talking to him
You're done
If he calls
Don't answer
If he looks at u
Don't look
Nothing
No contact
He will miss you and go crazy
Just don't give in right away
He won't believe you and it won't be a chase if you give in right away
Stand your ground
But don't tell him what you're up to
It will drive him nuts wondering
Don't tell anyone

If he e-mails me should I just not send anything back? Its hard not to.
What if he doesn't care and after a while gives up? I can't see him ever showing he cares about me because I can tell even though he won't admit it that he's afraid to show that he cares.
And now, I don't even feel like a person anymore or like I have a life or like anything. I feel like I'm just in some other place I can't get out of. I kind of feel like I'm not really here and this isn't really happening. Its like being in a dream and you can't wake up.

How do I know how to talk to him again and when, how do I do all that? Like in a few days you say if he tries talking to me to ignore him. And to keep it up for a few weeks... Is a few weeks enough though? And when I do talk to him again, how do I do it?

god, I know the feeling. I'm 21 y/o. I just came out of a similar situation. Im pregnant by this 27 y/o dead beat. Anyway. I learned a lot from that relationship. He played so many sick games with me it was pathetic that I put up with it for so long. I played games back. It was pretty much trial & error. & I learned what worked & what didn't work. Basically just make him think he lost you. There is no challenge in answering to his every call/email/note. Eventually, in my situation, I was completely fed up of taking his crap. I was so lucky to meet an amazing guy who didn't care that I was pregnant. Who wanted to be with me for me. Him and I are still together & 1 month into the relationship we got an apartment together. Looking back, I rem how I used to feel like I COULD NOT BREATH. I was going absolutely crazy without that jerk. It's a really long story. Anyway... what really did work was me not calling him anymore. Me not making him the center of the universe. He called and called and called. I would pick up once in a while to see what he wanted. He went from asking me to come over so he could cook me dinner. (of course I said no) To asking me to MARRY him. Haha. It was a good laugh because things were finally turned around. It started as little calls here and there. Then he would see I wouldn't answer.. then it would turn into calling my parents house, then myspacein me (mind u, he never had a myspace before), he msgd my new boyfriend. Actually all that made me get over him. He actually pushed me away. It made me realize that I really don't want him anyway. It was the CHASE that made me into him. Not him. He was a jerk. I know for a fact that If I want him now I can have him. Obviously not communicating does work. And the longer u put him off the harder her will try. Haha & the more pathetic he will become. Trust me. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. Answer me this. Why is it that it always seems like guys you like aren't interested... but guys you want nothing to do with would bend over backwards for you? All about the chase girl. It's easy when you figure it out. By the way... books for u to get. Why men love es. Then another one by the same arthor. Why men marry es. Read them. Stick to them. It works like magic. Hah (and if things don't work out for u with this guy KEEP your freaking options open & start NOW. I snagged myself a new fine piece... and I didn't even really want him at first. I just hung out with him to pass the time... & eventually it clicked in my head that this new guy is great!! & he prob wanted me so bad because I wasn't giving him my world either... (secrectly I was tryyyyin the give it to the x.. utnil that realization came along) Then I had the both of them in the palm of my hand. Don't be dumb. Lol Date smart. Those who feel live a life of tradegy & those who think live a life of comedy.

Those books.. the "es".. yeah. I guess they editied it. It's the "b" word.

"why men love *B*es"

The way, he is I just can't see him doing that. Hes NEVER came to me. Even when we started going out. He tried finding reasons to talk to me but he could never just say he wanted to be with me or talk to me. He always says something to start a conversation or asks random questions. Stuff like that. And he never liked holding hands or anything. He says its how he was raised

So, do you think he still will?
He e-mailed me after the last e-mail and he just said "ok bye" and I haven't e-mailed him back and I don't plan on it

And beth, you know that's true -- it's how he was raised. His parents never showed him physically, with actions, how much they loved him. They have never used words either. In fact, he's not real sure anyone loves him. In fact again, he's not real sure he even likes himself. So how can you expect him to be a great lover and emotionally expressive boyfriend when he has never been treated that way himself?

Believe me.. I've been there. I know how it feels. It will be hard as heck to not answer but that's the best way to go. He's not going to give up. He will try harder. Knowing that you will always be there.. he will take that for granted. Show him that you won't always be there. & in showing him I mean... don't be there. He won't give up. He will try harder to get you. It's a challenge. A hunt. Don't be some roadkill.lol. Keep yourself busy in the meantime. Forrrrrce yourself out w/friends. The longer you wait until you give into him the more he is going to want u. Diamonds & pearls are more valuable than rocks right? Why? Because they're harder to get. And people never give up on wanting diamonds right? They could give a sh!t less for the rocks because they could have them whenever. He's more likely to give up on you when you're alllllllllways there and available to him.


... read this... I have it posted in my blog. It makes a lot of sense. Thought you might like it.


If a Man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow you intution or spirit to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find out what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you DESERVE,
Then Hell no you Can't be FRIENDS.

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The Only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he try anything different with you?

Make boundaries in how a guy treats you
.
If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-God.

He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.

Never let a man Define WHO you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT Dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...
There is nothing cool about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...

A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for

Someone complimentary not suppllementary.

Dating is fun...
Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Well, he said when I talked to him last (like a few days or so ago) That he doesn't want anything to do with me and that I couldn't do anything to get him to come back. And I tried and tried but still nothing... But he never gave me a good reason. But how do I know for sure that he would come to me? When he was doing all that, was it just more games?

He finally got rid of every e-mail I sent him in his e-mail. Is that bad? He deleted them all.

I can feel the pain now, and the memories... and it hurts. Idk what to do.. I want him now before I quit caring. If I quit caring I will still want him though

Why do you keep up hopes for someone who obviously doesn't care about you?

Please answer. Thank you!

I talked to him today. He called because someone kept prank calling him and he thought it was me. Luckily they did it when I was talking to him too so he knew it wasn't. Then he thought it was one of my friends but it wasn't. He thought I was telling someone to do it... Anyway, we talked for about 15 minutes and he pretty much just said that he doesn't like the way I am and that he doesn't think I would change. Then he seems to think its okay for him to talk to other girls but it's wrong for me to talk to other guys. First he said that's how it should be and that's how his whole family is.. The wives don't work and do they do what their husband tells them... Then he said that he can talk to other people because he doesn't tell everyone about us and I can't keep my mouth closed so that makes me stupid and I can't talk to people. After a while he hung up... either he had to because of his parents. Or he was mad but he was like in the middle of talking... he just said "if you don't" and then he hung up. I tried telling him I would change.. I wanted to tell him he needs to change to though. But I didn't want to ask for too much at the time. I'm trying to slowly work my way to that. He called a little before that too and when we got off the phone I e-mailed him and told him that if he's trying to get me back, it's not going to work because I don't want to be hurt anymore and treated like that... He called saying that he read it and it made him laugh. Then he said something like "if you wanted to be with me then why did you send an e-mail saying you didnt?'' and he said things like "you were doing so fine though. And I'm happy. Isn't that what you want is for me to be happy?"

Girl he has you wrapped around his finger & he knows it. Tell him to get lost & no answering his calls & no calling him. NO MATTER WHAT. What I told you will not work if you still talk to him even in the slightest bit. Nooooo matter what. Us girls will think up any dumb excuse to call or email the guy we are into & it just pushes them further away. You have your own life now.. why would you change for him. Efffff that. He doesn't want that he is just trying to see how far he could take it. Put your foot down now before it gets too late. Just listen to me on this one. Don't talk to him no matter what. Don't tell him what you're up to. Don't tell his best friend or your best friend what you're up to. Ignore him for a week. THEN AFTER A WEEK... only in school... when HE comes near you or HE tries to talk to u.. which he will (NOT BEFORE A WEEK) talk to him. Be sweet as pie but DO NOT SUCK UP TO HIM. TALK TO HIM IN A NICE TONE. IF he brings up the relationship YOU change the subject ASAP. Now you have your own life & you really aren't concerned with what he wants. THAT will make him wonder. THAT will make him want to HUNT you. You are being strug along right now because you are LETTING him. TAKE CONTROL before you lose all potental for control.

Do you think he wants me though? How do I know he really doesn't?

Do it kmt's way -- one week, that's all that you have to ignore him. Meanwhile you can practice being sweet without looking like you're interested.

I really think kmt is onto something. I know men like the chase and HATE to be ignored. Take control, beth.

Thanks, everyone!

Is it considered cheating to talk to other guys online?

Cheating how? You're not going steady or engaged or married.

I don't know. I got bored and was talking to people though but people online always talk like that. But I wasn't exactly. But the person keeps saying they like me and everything. But I enjoy talking to them and wish J was more like this guy... but I only talk to him because I'm bored... Not like that.

Just be careful talking online. Don't give out personal information. (I don't think you would since you were leery even of adorable me.)

I've talked to people who end up living right down the road, within ten miles of my house. Eeeeeek! I'm met some delightful persons online, some of whom have become good friends. I've met only one in person.

As far as your talking to guys online, this will help you become more outgoing and interesting. It also will kill time if you are sticking to The Plan. Just be careful!

Its just I want to talk to them like as friends... and they don't

Where are you finding online conversations? Aren't there friend sites, buddy sites, etc. without all the cybering mess?

Myyearbook.
But theirs just something about this guy where I feel sorry for him. He looks like he's going to kill himself sometime. He said he's been through a lot but didn't want to talk about it.

You can't rescue everyone, beth. And who knows if his story is true.

Yeah I know. And about J... I kind of already got him talking to me. But he keeps e-mailing me until like 5 or 6 am. When we get back to school how am I supposed to ignore him?
Or what should I do?I need to keep him around now.. and get him to show he cares.

J called today and long story but I'm done I can't do it anymore. He may have made this all up... he said he was high, he said he told the school things aboyt me that I didn't want them to know. He kept calling me names and talking abour going to strip clubs and stuff.. even if he wants back I won't let him unless he actually desides to CARE. Because I'm positive he doesn't or he wouldn't hurt me... sorry if this don't make sense... I'm tired and I only got 3 hrs of sleep the past couple nights.

Again, I ask.

Why do you keep up hopes for someone who obviously doesn't care about you?

Please answer. Thank you!

Everyone thinks from the sound of things that J is using me and cheating on me.
And I want to quit talking to that other guy but he's really nice and I don't want to hurt him. And his girlfriend of 7 months just broke up with him. I know he would be better than J, but I don't care I want J and that's that.
Do you think he would be cheating on me?

And what should I do about this other person? Just ignore him? Should I stop and leave it at that? Should I tell J?

Why do you want J?

I don't know. I just do. I love him that's why. I can't leave him. Something won't let me. I can'r help it.

Originally Posted by Clough
Why do you want J?



I don't know. I just do. I love him that's why. I can't leave him. Something won't let me. I can'r help it.

When is the last time that you actually got to do anything with him in person?

Well, he's not aloud to talk to me so like May.
But when I get my license I'll see him more.
But he was being a little nicer today.
But he still doesn't treat me like I want to be treated. I don't get why.

I don't know if its from all this or what... but I can't even feel tired anymore or anything and I almost passed out at school

Well, he's not aloud to talk to me so like May.
But when I get my lisence i'll see him more.
But he was being a little nicer today.
But he still doesn't treat me like i wanna be treated. I don't get why.

If he's not allowed to speak with you, then how do you know that you will get to see him more once you get your license?

We have it planned out, don't worry. The only way for it to work is that I drive over their and meet him somewhere.
I just wonder why he can't tell his mom he's going to a friedns and have his friend... never mind I forgot I live a half hr away

Originally Posted by beth911
We have it planned out, don't worry. The only way for it to work is that I drive over their and meet him somewhere.
I just wonder why he can't tell his mom he's going to a friedns and have his friend... never mind I forgot I live a half hr away

If he lied to his mom, and she found out, then he would likely get into trouble. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you? Do you know why he isn't allowed to speak with you?

Yeah I know why. He's 18 now though, can she really stop him? She said it was just for the summer but I don't know. I still never called and he says its best if I don't. And I doubt his parents would find out.but I can't get tired and I've been up all night and have to wak eup in a couple hours.

If you know why he isn't allowed to speak to you, would you mind sharing that here, please?

Because his mom knows we had sex.

Originally Posted by beth911
We have it planned out, don't worry. The only way for it to work is that I drive over their and meet him somewhere.
I just wonder why he can't tell his mom he's going to a friedns and have his friend... never mind I forgot I live a half hr away



Originally Posted by Clough
If he lied to his mom, and she found out, then he would likely get into trouble. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you? Do you know why he isn't allowed to speak with you?



Originally Posted by beth911
Yeah I know why. He's 18 now though, can she really stop him? She said it was just for the summer but I don't know. I still never called and he says its best if I don't. And I doubt his parents would find out.but I can't get tired and I've been up all night and have to wak eup in a couple hours.



Originally Posted by Clough
If you know why he isn't allowed to speak to you, would you mind sharing that here, please?



Because his mom knows we had sex.

That does say a lot there, Beth. Is the reason that you are so obsessed with this guy is because you had sex with him? I mean, there are better and also mentally healthier reasons to become so attached to someone that you would give your all to be with them other than because you had sex with them.

I don't know.. its just I've never known no one and spent so much time with anyone like I have him... 2 years. Ive never loved someone like I love him, and no one has ever cared about me other than family.

idk.. its just ive never known no one and spent so much time with anyone like i have him.... 2 years. Ive never loved someone like i love him, and no one has ever cared about me other than family.

Not everyone is exactly the person that is the right one to be with another person permanently. I dated quite a few women before I met the one that I married. Sometimes, I would have multiple girlfriends at the same time. Although, I wouldn't date them on the same night, of course! :) This happened over a period of about five years.

What do you think of that? Are you willing to spend some time with other guys in order to "shop around" a bit? That would seem to be the healthy and normal thing to do for most people, especially at your age.

Ive never loved someone like i love him, and no one has ever cared about me other than family.

Then, I take it that he is the first one whom you think has loved you and that there can be no other. Is this correct?

That's not all of it though, I mean its him. Something just... I believe if you don't give up and try hard enough you can have what you want.

He just said that he tries to treat me better but that he just cant.
Im confused because, how do I know he cares?

That's not all of it though, I mean its him. Something just... I believe if you don't give up and try hard enough you can have what you want.

Something just what?


Originally Posted by beth911
I believe if you don't give up and try hard enough you can have what you want.

It would be nice if the above were true. But, unfortunately, it's not.
Sometimes you just have to hang things up and move on. That's the way life is...

Almost every girlfriend that I ever had, I still love...

But, I moved on...

he just said that he tries to treat me better but that he just cant.
Im confused because, how do i know he cares?

Do you like to keep "dragging yourself over the coals", especially, considering the uncertainty that you have felt and known by hanging onto J?

You have already had questions answered so many times.

How about listening for a change an acting upon the advice that you have been given, rather than going around the same... really now, hopeless circle of hopelessness concerning that which doesn't seemed destined for you to have.

Hang it up and move on, please.

We could be talking about your future and abilities on this site. I have already tried to do that with you a couple of months ago.

Okay, I can see that you aren't logged onto this site anymore.

Just for another two cents to add here, I would like to add, that there are lots of fish in the sea, and that the first one that you catch might not be the best one to keep.

Above, is just a thought for you to ponder...

Also, please remember what I told you...

"Almost every girlfriend that I ever had, I still love..."

"But, I moved on..."

Why don't you?

I don't think that it is any different for guys as it is for gals concerning that.

I don't know all I can think about is how I'm afraid to go to school tomorrow

Theirs NO way out. I'm so afraid I would die to get out of it

I've always had fears at school... like to do anything or even be seen.

Tomorrows going to be the worst day of my life and I will never forget it.

Ok, tell me everything. Why the worst day of your life?

You would think its stupid. But it's the worst feeling ever to me. To start...
Everyday...
Gym class. - I never participate. I'm afraid to be seen running or anything and I'm afraid to be seen in those clothes. I am very afraid to wear certain things. I even wear the same thing almost everyday for some reason. I over think it.
Class work - I am afraid of finnishing first or last. I'm afraid when I have to get up and walk across the room to turn it in. I feel like everyone's looking at me and sees something wrong with me.
I'm afraid of talking. What if my voice sounds weird?
OK tomorrow in my chemistry class, we have one of those labs. She makes us wear goggles and an apron... NO WAY. NO NONO NO NO NO
I'd rather die. And I don't care that everyone else does it too. If you ask me, they want us to feel and look stupid. Ive had enough of it and I won't go along with it. NO WAY. I guess I'll just continue to fail all my classes and never graduate.

This is why I think I should be homeschooled. I'm not like other kids and I don't accosiate with them. I don't belong there.

And I don't get enough sleep so I'm never there on time.