Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    5a106's Avatar
    5a106 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 24, 2015, 11:42 AM
    My wife feels loose but we haven't had sex in 3 months?
    My wife and I have been married for 6 years. Our sex life dwindled after having two kids. We haven't had contact in 3 months. Ive been reading up on causes of loose vagina and I still haven't found a definitive answer.
    There is one fact though and it is medically related too, which makes it reliable; and this is the one that refers to giving birth - that the looseness is expected. However, my wife has had 2 C-sections and she was always tight even after two children.
    It was only during our last sexual intercourse that I cannot dismiss and deny that she was looser than usual.
    There are other things that I would like to share and add but I am hoping to get answers on this first as I don't want to cloud any thoughts for now.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,872, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 24, 2015, 11:48 AM
    Maybe you are smaller.

    Has she been doing Kegels? If not, she might want to do them every day.

    And she is busy with two? three? small children? Do you help her a lot with laundry and grocery shopping and child care? Do you romance her throughout the day and let her know how much you love and appreciate her?
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,827, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 24, 2015, 11:54 AM
    Those aren't rubber bands. They're muscles. Like the muscles in your arms or legs or abdomen, they have less tone the less they're used. Can you do as many pushups or run as far now as you could at 18?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Jan 24, 2015, 12:23 PM
    Classic case of thinking that each body part is somehow distinct from the rest.
    Perhaps you should ask a surgeon to slice you open, twice, just above your pubic hair, the width of a newborn head. MUSCLES, FASCIA, BLOOD VESSELS... which get sewn back together - sort of.
    I wonder how far away the incision is from the vagina muscles? Just a few inches.

    I'm the kind of person who grows scar tissue, inside or out, often slowly. I have one broken finger from 1995 that just started getting really lumpy about 4 years ago.

    What to do, what to do? Hire a nanny so your wife can go to the gym and also have a personal trainer. And have her hormone levels tested. No guarantees on either one. And if her hormones are going down, as they tend to do in women, they have an effect on muscle mass, and it's not a good idea to just throw hormones at her as 'treatment.' There are dangers in taking hormones.
    Maybe there's some sort of sex aid you can buy that adds to your diameter and subtracts from hers.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 24, 2015, 01:27 PM
    LOL...maybe you shrunk.

    You know, just come out and say it...you think she's cheating....but this is not the way to know if she is or not. This is just plain silly if you are going to base everything on that she is "looser".
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,872, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #6

    Jan 24, 2015, 01:32 PM
    Yeah, odinn, and she probably has to take the kids with her on her cheat dates....
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Jan 24, 2015, 03:22 PM
    Ok maybe its because she was very turned on by you... when a lot of women get excited sexually they can produce their own lube and you did say it has been 3 months since any sex with her... why no sex for 3 months?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
    Expert
     
    #8

    Jan 25, 2015, 05:10 AM
    First it has nothing to do with her having sex. It could be many things from your imagination to other issues. Why do you feel there has to be reasons or problems.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #9

    Jan 25, 2015, 05:18 AM
    Why is it just her, and not you at all?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #10

    Jan 26, 2015, 08:10 AM
    Oh my. There are a few things to consider here. First off, your memory of what she feels like is always going to be subjective, so to say that she was tighter 3 months ago versus now is probably more an expression of your disappoint with your sex life rather then an accurate gage of her vaginal elasticity. As well I can't believe that during this time frame you didn't masturbate, which leads to the second part of the problem. Depending on how you masturbate you could be training your penis to be responsive to a certain pressure, before hand you could set this around what you believed your wife to feel, reliving those nights where you conceived your children, but as your dry spell started and continued you were tightening your grip and well when you got back to your wife your trained penis felt things a little different.

    Now comes the libido dry up on her part. Two kids is a massive and exhausting work load. At the end of the day all the mother wants to do is curl up and sleep. They're not feeling like sex because they've been running around after two kids, been covered in several different bodily excretions, feeling crappy, and is probably frustrated, and irritated. Is this the woman that is going to want to have sex with you? At this point all you can do is help out and take some burden off her when you can. That is sexier then anything else you can do. You're going to have to accept for a little bit sex might be a little slow because of having two kids to deal with. Take a step back and contemplate this. Also know what while sex might be slow your intimacy will still be there. It isn't going to end in thigh slapping sex, but it is there and should be enjoyed. At this point in your relationship intimacy is a completely different creature then sex.

    Take a step back and try not to be selfish here. Good luck.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Jan 26, 2015, 10:02 PM
    Haha shrunk. Very funny Girlwonder! But I can't give you a greenie. I guess that means I gave you too many.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Been with my boyfriend for 2 months and we haven't had sex, why? [ 15 Answers ]

I been with my boyfriend two months, we both are so happy get on really well. The problem is we haven't had sex. We both in our 20's. I have spoke to him about this quite a few times and have had answers such as: his had things on his mind, which we delt with. He didn't want to just have sex...

I haven't had my period in 2 months and I haven't had sex [ 4 Answers ]

I am now 2 months without a period... Im only 13... Im scared! I don't want to tell my mum!

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in 3 months- how long would you go without sex? [ 12 Answers ]

My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me at all anymore. I am very sexual, and I am soooooo into him. I'm in my early twenties, he's about a decade older than me. We've been & lived together for a while. Even when we did have sex, he was always uncomfortable with it. He has some personal...

Boyfriend and I haven't had sex in 7 months [ 14 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I have been dating now for a year and eight months. I'm in my early twenties, and he's in his early thirties. Our sex lives have changed dramatically since we first started dating (which is normal in every reationship.) When we first started dating we used to have sex all the time,...

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for 12 months [ 14 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, we've been living together for 3 of those 5 years. Our sex life was very healthy at the beginning of our relationship as it is with everones, the problem is we haven't had sex now for nearly 12 months, I know his sex drive is no where near as high...


View more questions Search