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    mstip8509's Avatar
    mstip8509 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 11, 2009, 12:01 AM
    Why he can't ejaculate?
    Me and my boyfriend has been dating for 6months now, and every time we have sex he never get to "". Both of us participate in it, and we sometimes do it for hours and nothing comes......but when he "beats his meat" it only takes him 2-3 minutes to ""... what's wrong is it me or just something wrong with him... he says it doesn't matter about him getting his because I always get mine... and I know it's not right for me to get satisfied and not him. I was thinking it could be something wrong with me... but he also stated that he could never get it neither in his pass relationships... can someone please help me..? :rolleyes:
    taoplr's Avatar
    taoplr Posts: 415, Reputation: 144
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    #2

    May 11, 2009, 01:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mstip8509 View Post
    Me and my boyfriend has been dating for 6months now, and everytime we have sex he never get to "". Both of us participate in it, and we sometimes do it for hours and nothing comes......but when he "beats his meat" it only takes him 2-3 minutes to "".............what's wrong is it me or just something wrong with him..........he says it doesn't matter about him getting his because i always get mine...........and i know it's not right for me to get satisfied and not him. I was thinking it could be something wrong with me.....but he also stated that he could never get it neither in his pass relationships..........can someone please help me..............??????????????:rolleyes:
    It's not you. It's how he gets off by habit. Since it always works that way for him, you are not part of the problem. You aren't happy with it, but does he see it as a problem?

    When he masturbates, he can make anything happen in his mind to bring himself to a climax. He can also stimulate himself exactly as his ejaculation needs, which only a very intimate, knowledgeable, skilled, and selfless lover can do for him. When he's having sex, he's probably having trouble getting past a certain state of excitement with the physical experience as it is. Orgasm is as much mental as it is physical.

    Does he want to role-play? Costumes? When he masturbates, what stories play out in his mind? If you find the hot-button fantasies, he will lose control to them, which is what will get him to climax. You've only been together for six months, but you should be comfortable letting him think anything he is drawn to think during sex without judgment from you. If he knows that he can confide in you without fear of being judged and rejected because of his fantasies, he will feel free to get past his limit.

    He should see a doctor to find out if there is anything physical involved. Assuming that there is not (which is what I assume, but he should check) the answer will be to get his mind and body together focused on completing the sex act with you. Be creative and play with new things that surprise him. You could combine masturbation with intercourse, or you could help him masturbate a few times until he gets comfortable ejaculating with you. (I'm assuming that he masturbates alone) Then, move things from masturbation to intercourse step by step.

    While I suggest all this, and recommend that you love and be very kind to him during the process, it's not on your shoulders to make things work for him. It belongs to him.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    May 12, 2009, 07:58 AM

    The guy has real issues... he needs to see a doctor and maybe a councilor to work it out.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #4

    May 13, 2009, 01:57 AM
    I'm not sure if this is necessarily a problem, especially if he doesn't think it is. Men can still enjoy sex greatly without ejaculation.

    In fact, many eastern sexual practices suggest that the male should ejaculate as little as possible, because, they believe, it increases the masculine energy and intensifies the sexual sensation.

    I would be worried if your BF was trying to come but was unable to. It sort of sounds as if he's choosing not to, but I'm not certain from your post.

    If he wants to come then the suggestions made by taoplr of combining masturbation and penetration are great.

    Really, in the end it's about enjoying yourself and not worrying about whether there is something wrong with you or him!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #5

    May 13, 2009, 03:11 AM

    You would think you would be happy that he can last for hours. Probably a lot of women's dream. After you guys are done. Give him something to remember and get him off through masturbation.

    You're a lucky women, enjoy.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    May 13, 2009, 03:48 AM

    I would say again as I do in these questions he masterbates way too much. He has gotten into the "feel" of his own hand ( or maybe yours) and wants that specific feel.

    Let him go a month or so without masturbation and I bet you see better results

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