Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Wise therapist's Avatar
    Wise therapist Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 4, 2008, 02:52 PM
    What makes an affair an affair or what classifies as infidelity
    What makes an affair or what classifies as infidelity
    rodandy12's Avatar
    rodandy12 Posts: 227, Reputation: 24
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Jun 4, 2008, 03:12 PM
    Old school versus new school.

    In the old days whenever ANY two unmarried people had a sexual relationship that lasted more than one outing, it was an affair.

    Now days, I believe an affair is when a married person has a sexual relationship with someone outside their marriage (I choose these words so as to not irritate folks in Utah).

    This is also infidelity and it was the same in the old days.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 4, 2008, 03:30 PM
    It's defined by the people in the relationship. Each couple has their own definition of what constitutes infidelity.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jun 6, 2008, 08:38 AM
    If you have an emotuional attachment to another person outside your marriage that's an affair... or if sex was involved.
    igman's Avatar
    igman Posts: 69, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jun 6, 2008, 08:45 AM
    Right. There are different types of infidelity. Basically if you are not giving 100% mentally, emotionally, and physically to the one you are with then that can be considered infidelity. Also, this can involve various people and you don't necessarily have to be doing all 3 at the same time.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jun 8, 2008, 04:00 PM
    An affair always involves sexual pleasure.

    Infidelity.. I'm not sure if the common meaning *today* requires sex to have occurred in all cases.
    Credendovidis's Avatar
    Credendovidis Posts: 1,593, Reputation: 66
    -
     
    #7

    Jun 8, 2008, 05:10 PM
    It all depends what the partners agreed upon when starting the marriage or relation.
    An affair can also be a non-sexual relation, whereby a person find special attraction towards another person, and keeps that hidden to his/her standard partner. (Some people get totally besotted by/to another person. In a way that also is an affair, if kept hidden to a permanent partner).
    Infidelity is when one of the partners skips any of these arrangements.

    ;)
    MEDIstaff4u's Avatar
    MEDIstaff4u Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 9, 2008, 04:08 AM
    Kudos to the previous posters!

    They are both mutual agreements that are somewhat "stated" by the couple. This can be stated through communication or by expressing the way you feel about other peoples actions. For example: "Can you believe that Jane's husband was out last night with that new girl he works with? I can't believe Jane puts up with that!"-------Obviously, you would not think this is acceptable of him, ha! Someone else might see this as a harmless friendship, depends on your lifestyle and past experiences.
    rodandy12's Avatar
    rodandy12 Posts: 227, Reputation: 24
    Full Member
     
    #9

    Jun 9, 2008, 05:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Credendovidis
    It all depends what the partners agreed upon when starting the marriage or relation.
    That sounds right, but how many individuals entering into marriage have the forethought to nail all that stuff down. I'd wager not all that many in the whole population. That's where the "accepted norms" come into place.

    But, I would suggest, with the US census bureau still supporting the 50% divorce rate (others make it more like 40%), even the accepted norms aren't followed.

    I wonder what percentage of divorces are actually caused by infidelity?
    skunkman44's Avatar
    skunkman44 Posts: 76, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jun 21, 2008, 07:24 AM
    My wife and I feel that an affair or cheating is betraying the trust we have for each other. We have two simple rules. If I wanted to have sex with another woman. I have to tell her I going to do it. AND take pictures. The last is the hardest part.
    Credendovidis's Avatar
    Credendovidis Posts: 1,593, Reputation: 66
    -
     
    #11

    Jun 21, 2008, 07:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rodandy12
    That's where the "accepted norms" come into place.
    But those "accepted norms" neither includes key-clubs, tri- or four-somes, a multi billion dollar whorehouse industry, etc. etc. etc.
    Things are in reality not what most people foresee before or early in marriage.
    It is never too late to arrange for new rules in a marriage, if both partners agree and are each free to enjoy them.
    And the best way to prevent partners from any future similar behavior is the knowledge that your partner is in the bed of someone else...
    The only problem here is the general prude behavior in the US.

    ;)
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #12

    Jun 23, 2008, 05:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by skunkman44
    My wife and I feel that an affair or cheating is betraying the trust we have for each other. We have two simple rules. If I wanted to have sex with another woman. I have to tell her I going to do it. AND take pictures. The last is the hardest part.
    :D I don't think I could pull that one off.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #13

    Jun 23, 2008, 05:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Credendovidis
    But those "accepted norms" neither includes key-clubs, tri- or four-somes, a multi billion dollar whorehouse industry, etc. etc. etc.
    Things are in reality not what most people foresee before or early in marriage.
    It is never too late to arrange for new rules in a marriage, if both partners agree and are each free to enjoy them.
    And the best way to prevent partners from any future similar behavior is the knowledge that your partner is in the bed of someone else ...
    The only problem here is the general prude behavior in the US.

    ;)
    The problem extends way beyond the US borders. This happens at LEAST as much overseas. And yes this happens a LOT in Muslim cultures as well.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #14

    Jun 23, 2008, 01:39 PM
    The OP'er has not been back since the OP date, June 4... so time for the OP to respond?? Or is it a dead thread?

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Do you think it's an affair? [ 9 Answers ]

Hello everyone, Rhis is my second post on this matter. Recenetly found my husband has been spending quite a bit of money with no explanation of where it went = no receipts and nothing to show for it ($600 in a weeks time). Found credit card receipts for everyday purchases, which by the way...

An affair [ 2 Answers ]

A friends wife 34 had an affair with a17 boy .she had been treated for depression for over a year before this. And had been takeing paxil and xanax. When she got caught in the affair she tried to commit suiciad.she has since been placed in 2 pysc. Wards. Was her judgement impaired due to longterm...

Affair over? [ 8 Answers ]

While not married, my girlfriend and I have lived together for 7 years now. We are officially engaged, but she has put off marriage for financial reasons that I can understand. This summer though, she had an affair. I finally figured it out from all the lies, working late, needing to be "alone"...

Been having an affair [ 18 Answers ]

I have been seeing a married man for almost four yrs now, we never go anywhere he just comes round for a chat and it inevitably ends up in bed. He finds it hard to show his emotions and says he doesn't love anyone not even his wife. He becomes protective of her if I ask questions and says we...

How do I end this affair? [ 5 Answers ]

I've been with my boyfriend for eight years. I've found myself bored. Three months ago I began cheating on him with a married man. I want to end the affair but it's hard. I've even slept with this man over and over again feeling guilty afterwards. My boyfriend is wonderful I don't know how...


View more questions Search