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    runnergirl36's Avatar
    runnergirl36 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 22, 2011, 06:36 AM
    Unfullfilled in the boudoir
    I have never done this before, posted on a public forum that is but I feel desperate. My husband and I have been together for 12 years. In the last 8 years our sex life is extremely unfullfilling. When we dated, our sex life was out of this world. I realize that you can't have the sex life you did when you were dating.. marriage, kids, work etc seem to get in the way however, I feel very lost in our marriage as a result. My husband has stopped giving me oral pleasure, which of course I really enjoy. When I say he hasstopped, I mean years will go by.Most recently, after a 3 year oral sex sabbitcal of me being on the receiving end, he attempted,stopped and told me I taste bad. I was beyond humilated. I have given him oral pleasure in the past and he has had the "man smell" but I carried on. I knew if I stopped during and said something at the moment it would impact our sex life.You don't know me but I am one who takes pride in maintaining my (ADL's) activity of daily living skills. I am a very clean person, I work out at least 4 days a week, am a runner and have completed 4 marathons. I also pride myself on smelling good and looking presentable. I don't know if I can recover from this. I feel so lonely in that department in our marriage as it is. Our marriage on other fronts are fine... I feel more like a roommate than a lover.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Aug 22, 2011, 08:38 AM
    The obvious question is have you tried talking to him and discussing the issues?

    Is lack of oral sex the only thing causing your sex life to be less than great?

    When you were dating was oral sex a greater part of your sex life or has it always been infrequent?

    If he has always disliked giving oral sex, then you need to talk to him about why. It may be that he doesn't like the taste no matter what you do. Some people don't. It may be he feels like he can't do it right. If it got worse after having children, he could have a mental block keeping him from separating thoughts of childbirth and pleasure.

    Try not to take his reasons personally. Try to be objective. You want him to feel like he can tell you the truth without you getting upset or a fight beginning. You didn't tell him about his 'man smell' to keep the peace. He may be holding back his own issues to keep the peace.

    You can be the most perfectly groomed person with no smell and still not taste good to your partner. Have you ever had an orange that smelled fantastic but was extremely bitter? You might look into how diet, etc. can affect bodily fluids.

    Talk to him. See if you can work together to find a fix or compromise for the problems. If he isn't into oral sex, is there another way he can give you pleasure?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Aug 22, 2011, 08:41 AM
    Moved to Adult Sexuality due to subject matter that can become very graphic.

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