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    xbakardix's Avatar
    xbakardix Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 23, 2006, 03:00 PM
    Is this true?
    All right, is it true that 30% of girls can't have orgasims or is that just false?

    But OK, Ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 months and I haven't had an orgasm... but, see I know the feeling. Ive had to feeling come many time before but they don't last... what do I do to keeep it! When I was younger Ive had an orgasm a few times before but like I didn't know the feeling at the time and pushed off my boyfriend at the time... now I want it haha... someone pleaseeeee help me!
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #2

    Feb 24, 2006, 03:31 AM
    The 'pleeeeaaaseee' on this forum won't get you there, for sure.

    If you are not getting the satisfaction from your current partner, then it's time for a talk and a 'show and tell' version of what you like. It's only fair in any relationship that both get satisfaction and if he respects your needs, he will understand. But, you will not get satisfied if you don't tell him what you like. Also, if he is in tune with you, you could try masturbation in front of him - it will give you satisfaction and him the right ideas - maybe...

    There is no way to keep the feeling of an orgasm all the time, otherwise we would not have to continue to have sexual relationships and communicate with each other. So the sooner you find the right person or right practice with your current partner, the sooner you'll get that tingle again.

    Good luck, and keep us posted.

    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #3

    Feb 24, 2006, 07:34 AM
    Hi,
    Welcome to this site, and thanks for asking a question here.
    You didn't mention your ages, so it's a little difficult to give a real good answer.
    Your boyfriend sounds like he is only "out for himself". If you two have talked about this, then he should realize that he isn't satisfying you. He can change it, more foreplay, more understanding, more respect for you. Relationships have to be built on respect and caring. Have a good talk with him. If he won't listen or "shrugs" it off, then you might consider meeting some new boys.
    I sure hope you are using protection; cause 4 out of 10 girls in America are pregnant by the time they are 20 yrs old! Also, sexual diseases are very easy to catch.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Feb 24, 2006, 08:03 AM
    Yes there is a thing called foreplay, that is the time before actual sex. This can be a very long period, but it needs to be. He should know how and what you need to reach your peak. While not always, there is no reason you can't reach your orgasm once or twice before intercourse even starts.

    You need to talk with him and disucss what you want
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #5

    Feb 24, 2006, 10:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by fredg
    Hi,
    Welcome to this site, and thanks for asking a question here.
    You didn't mention your ages, so it's a little difficult to give a real good answer.
    Your boyfriend sounds like he is only "out for himself". If you two have talked about this, then he should realize that he isn't satisfying you. He can change it, more foreplay, more understanding, more respect for you. Relationships have to be built on respect and caring. Have a good talk with him. If he won't listen or "shrugs" it off, then you might consider meeting some new boys.
    I sure hope you are using protection; cause 4 out of 10 girls in America are pregnant by the time they are 20 yrs old! Also, sexual diseases are very easy to catch.
    Can't rate for 24 hours again, so:
    I absolutely 100% agree with all of fredg's and Fr_Chuck's advice and - safety is the first thing you should think of this day and age - don't get something you don't want for a few minutes of pleasure.
    nero2's Avatar
    nero2 Posts: 51, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Feb 24, 2006, 07:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xbakardix
    Alright, is it true that 30% of girls can't have orgasims or is that just false??

    But ok, Ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 months and I havent had an orgasim... but, see I kno the feelin. Ive had to feelin come many time before but they dont last... what do I do to keeep it!? When I was younger Ive had an orgasim a few times before but like I didnt kno the feelin at the time and pushed off my boyfriend at the time... now I want it haha... someone pleaseeeee help me!!
    I want u to finger yr self using two fingers. Use your middle finger and another finger and insert in there as deep as u can and rise it up and u will feel a lump, it is where the MAIN G SPOT is, about the size of a coin and start rubbing it fast and will have the best orgasm
    xbakardix's Avatar
    xbakardix Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Feb 27, 2006, 07:16 AM
    I'm just replying to some of the comments... well I am 18 yrs old and I do know what foreplay is... and we do it all the time! We even talk about ways we'll try to get me to orgasm... but nothing really has worked. I haven't even had the feeling lately when it only comes for a second...
    Do you think this could be just a mental thing? :confused:
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #8

    Feb 28, 2006, 08:57 AM
    Mental can be a part of it, sure. If you feel rushed or pressure or you're frustrated that can make it harder to orgasm. It can also be physical, as in how your body responds to stress, physical changes, exercise, nutrition.

    The suggestion that you try to get yourself off is a valid one. If you can bring yourself to that place then there is no physical issue other than you need to try some different things. Different positions for example will shift your weight onto different places and you'll feel sensations in different places.

    If you cannot get yourself off then either you don't know what you need physically to get there or there could be some other "problem" I dated a girl who never went solo and I'm sure it kept her from finding what she needed faster.

    I say "problem" because in my experience not all women are alike, and I'm sure it happens some for men. I had one girlfriend who I could get off all the time, every time. Like nearly 90% yeah, yeah... I know girls can fake it. But without going into the details, she was simply easy to get off. And if she didn't, she'd keep going until she did. She liked a few specific things and do those things and it was a done deal. Of course she helped me a little by telling me what she wanted. She just responded to stimuli that was easy to do and she knew what worked for her and wasn't afraid to ask for it. I know I probably wouldn't have figured out what worked best for her unless she'd told me. But she was so easy to get off. I swear it was like step one, step two, step three, jackpot. Great ego booster until the next girlfriend.

    Next one took work, work, work. And even then it only happened like 1 out of 6 times, and maybe that's optimistic. She liked completely different things and had to be in the right mental mood. The things that worked before were completely wrong. Like absolutely, don't-do-that wrong. Sucked. Not because it was work, but because it a lot of the times never finished. The previous girl responded very stongly to physical stimuli. This girls needed light, but not too light, stimuli and needed to get ready mentally. The previous girl was always mentally good to go.

    I can tell you that there are a few positions that are money for me, and a few that will just never, ever work. You got to find what works for you.

    What's the quote? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

    So the short of it is that it is a learning process. Don't expect it to be something you learn how to do right away. Don't get mad about it. Try not to be frustrated. But be willing to do things differently to get different results.

    If you want some specific suggestions I can go into details by PM'ing you.

    Otherwise try to be open minded. If something feels good ask for it if he isn't doing it. Most guys are eager to do right but may not know what you need. And if you don't know what you need then you've got some work to do.
    scaredgal's Avatar
    scaredgal Posts: 18, Reputation: 10
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    #9

    Feb 28, 2006, 03:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xbakardix
    Alright, is it true that 30% of girls can't have orgasims or is that just false??

    But ok, Ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 months and I havent had an orgasim... but, see I kno the feelin. Ive had to feelin come many time before but they dont last... what do I do to keeep it!? When I was younger Ive had an orgasim a few times before but like I didnt kno the feelin at the time and pushed off my boyfriend at the time... now I want it haha... someone pleaseeeee help me!!
    This is just my 2 cents but are you POSITIVE you have had one before? The reason I ask is I was married to my first husband from the time I was about 17 till I turned 23. We had 2 kids together and had sex daily. I THOUGHT I was reaching completion with him, I really did.

    Come to find out I wasn't. The next man I met after him showed me what a clitoris was (BLESS HIM). I mean I knew where it was located of course but I honestly didn't realize that was where the climax would come from for me I thought it would be from intercourse. I also have a tiny button it never comes out of the hood even when I am at my point of release so I am sure that added to my problem.

    I thought before when I got that feeling of oooo feels so good I have to stop and maybe panted some that was an orgasm but it wasn't. The trick I learned was to keep going past that point, when I finally had one real one. I am talking about legs shaking, can't think, couldn't tell you my name if I had to that was it. It was extremely easy for me to reach release after that day.

    Once I learned about how he did it for me, I learned to do it alone (after we broke up) then the next person I was sexual with I had no problem showing him what worked for me.

    I would just say experiment with yourself, as for the finding the G spot inside I honestly have tried and I haven't but I definitely can reach a screaming orgasm from the outside now. Who knows if we would have stayed married I might never have known :P

    Always protect yourself to like others have said here its more important than having that release or anything else you may do in bed.
    andydude88's Avatar
    andydude88 Posts: 27, Reputation: 0
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    #10

    Feb 28, 2006, 04:10 PM
    Lol why is it that a lot of times sex or relationships are one sided and the guy just does it for his own pleasure and doesn't really care about the girl other than as a tool to provide him with it. It's kind of true sometimes
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Feb 28, 2006, 06:09 PM
    mkay I'm not going to argue that some guys are probably unattentive. When starting I'm sure I was so focused on what was happening to me that everything else was an afterthought.

    but even when you do have the best of intentions, the setup just isn't fair, or at least the same.

    you can tell us how the body is set up, about the **** and g spot and other errogenous zones... but again, my experience has been what works on one girl can be absolutely, completely the WRONG thing to do with another.

    my first loved and needed to neck. Last doesn't like to. Another like rough pressure. Next one HATED it. One absolutely loved sex anywhere remotely public or where you could get caught. Another one after her would get mentally off track if you weren't guaranteed privacy. First one could climax w g spot stimulation. Last one... eh. Maybe it'll help. Maybe not. Hmmmm.

    and the setup is just skewed. Here ladies... you get a **** that is smaller than a pea and we'll cover it up so it's harder to find, and then the paradox that its' easier to find on some when you're already stimulated. And we'll put it a little bit away from where the male sexual organ will be penetrating so there's a conflict of interest and no stimulation in certain positions. Oh. Yeah. And some of you will love it to be stimulated roughly and directly and some will hate that. Yeah. That sounds twisted enough.

    guys... you get a sexual organ that could be found in the dark by a person wearing oven mitts facing the wrong way. * not that I'm into that * smaller than a pea? No! Hidden? No! You get a sexual organ that is completely exposed and 8 inches long! OK 6. OK 5... (I was told once by a lady that this is why many women are bad at judging measurements. Men have been lying to them about what 6 inches is for so long)

    so its great being a guy. We get paid more for the same work for no good reason. We never have to wear seafoam green anything in a wedding party (ok maybe the tie and cummerbund). And we can pee in the woods without squatting in poison ivy. And there's just no denying where the errogenous zone is. The only bad thing about being a guy is all of the wasted errections when you're younger.

    I remember getting hard from the flippin bumpy school bus ride to school. What good did that do me?? There's a wrinkly nun driving the bus and no chance in heaven or hell it was going to come of anything. No pun intended. My first memorable orgasm was when I was like 8 years old climbing a freakin pole at the playground. I had no idea what the hell happened in those, y'know, 10 seconds it took to climb to the top, but why then? Why not reserve those armor piercing errections for when it counts? *sigh*

    so... anyone still wonder why some guys are clueless about getting a woman off?

    man. I miss that playground. =)
    nero2's Avatar
    nero2 Posts: 51, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Mar 2, 2006, 04:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xbakardix
    im just replyin to some of the comments... well i am 18 yrs old and I do know what foreplay is... and we do it all the time! we even talk about ways we'll try to get me to orgasm... but nothing really has worked. I havent even had the feelin lately when it only comes for a second...
    do you think this could be just a mental thing? :confused:
    I think it also part of mental thing. Try to relax more in order to know and feel the best orgasm for yr self

    Quote Originally Posted by andydude88
    lol why is it that alot of times sex or relationships are one sided and the guy just does it for his own pleasure and doesnt really care about the girl other than as a tool to provide him with it. it's kind of true sometimes
    Yes. I agree with u. so as what u have mention, guys must also try to know what work for her the best and try to communicate more with her and ask her what and where works best for her. Not one sided.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #13

    Mar 4, 2006, 08:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xbakardix
    im just replyin to some of the comments... well i am 18 yrs old and I do know what foreplay is... and we do it all the time! we even talk about ways we'll try to get me to orgasm... but nothing really has worked. I havent even had the feelin lately when it only comes for a second...
    do you think this could be just a mental thing? :confused:
    Before pushing that panic button and thinking it's mental - remember that life, taste in men and what attracts us to them can change just as the seasonal fashion in clothes. - Especially at your age.

    You need to discover your body for yourself and find what turns you on to be able to communicate this to your partner. Or, if you're lucky, you'll find one that will help you find it. But don't frustrate yourself by using this as a focal point that will resolve your personal gratification.

    Maybe it's another personal need or hunger that you've not discovered yet, that's missing, and you are using this obsession to orgasm as a substitute.

    Take a good look at yourself and see if there are other dreams yet unfulfilled. You just might be looking for something still missing in your life other than what a relationship can give you.

    Sometimes life is a never-ending search for the obvious, and you've just not found it yet. Relax, enjoy life, and please keep us posted. Good Luck.

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