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Marriedguy · Mar 17, 2008, 10:16 AM

I am not asking anyone to post how many partners they slept with that’s personal.

The question is how many sex partners are too much?

I personally think having more 3 sexual partners is too many. If woman told me that she has been with more than 3 people I would not date her, this of course only applies to when I was single.

NeedKarma · Mar 17, 2008, 10:21 AM

As long as your standards apply both ways. If you have slept with more than 3 women you should not date or get married.

ISneezeFunny · Mar 17, 2008, 10:25 AM

Really?

... hmm... I guess my standards are diff as I'm a college student...

If a girl says she can count them on both hands, then... I think I'm OK with that.

I agree needkarma. As long as her numbers are AROUND my number, I'm OK.

Toluca_86 · Mar 17, 2008, 10:30 AM

I don't think the number should matter. What should matter is that the person is looking for the same kind of relationship with you that you're looking for with them. People who've had lots of partners can be capable of deep emotions and long-term monogamy, if that's what you want. Have you seen the movie "Chasing Amy"? If not, I recommend it...

Marriedguy · Mar 17, 2008, 10:31 AM

I tried to leave the question open ended, I'm not saying my standards should apply to everyone. My standard may change depending on age. I don't expect someone who is 40 to only have had two lovers but it would be nice.

Synnen · Mar 17, 2008, 10:32 AM

My numbers are no one's business. Not even my husband's (All he needs to know is that he is the LAST number).

Because of stupid ideas that a certain number is "too much", ESPECIALLY since it's primarily guys that have that stupid idea---more and more women just don't want to talk about numbers.

And any guy that HAS a specific number as "too many" better either be a virgin or have FEWER than that number himself.

Marriedguy · Mar 17, 2008, 10:33 AM

Toluca, what you are telling me that you would date someone that been with over 100 sexual partners?

Toluca_86 · Mar 17, 2008, 10:47 AM

If they were tested STI-free, had treated past partners respectfully, and with me wanted whatever kind of relationship I wanted with them, and I otherwise liked them for who they were, sure, why not? Like I said, I don't think number should matter. It's a person we're talking about here -they aren't less of a human for having a sexual history. And I don't think one-night stands (or whatever) make someone a bad person, so long as they're engaged in with mutual respect.

Like I said, have you seen "Chasing Amy"? I think that movie really speaks to this...

mirandycc · Mar 17, 2008, 11:26 AM

Sex with multiple partners in my opinion does not make some one a "bad" person. I think the personality that is within is what really matters. And I don't feel you should ask some one before you date them... "how many sex partners have you had?"... What a conversation starter, huh? :) lmao

hollylovesbrandon · Mar 17, 2008, 12:01 PM

Well, what makes me angry is the double-standard. Society thinks its OK for men to have just about as many sex partners as they want and they are just "getting lucky" whereas if a woman had oh let's say, 20 sex partners, she is a slut. I know women that are not even 21 yet and have had close to 20 and they are the nicest most devoted women you'd ever meet and NOT sluts. I have met men that "claim" to have had over 200 women, and they are just like awesome! It's just funny. I think as long as someone is tested and shows up as clean and is a decent, sweet, devoted human being then the number shouldn't count. I know it wouldn't for me.

N0help4u · Mar 17, 2008, 04:19 PM

I always wanted to be with just one guy, but my ex turned out to be a real con/jerk. I ended up alone and only wanting to find somebody I would be happy with but what we want and what we end up with are often two different things. I started seeing a guy I really cared a lot for but eventually it just didn't work out. Everybody said it is the type of guy you attract so I tried seeing opposite my type and they turned out to be control freaks. I have spent more years alone than what I have had bf's. Well I gave up cause I only ever wanted ONE.
(Still able to count them on two hands with some fingers left over)

hollylovesbrandon · Mar 17, 2008, 04:20 PM

You make a lot of good points. But also, don't give up. There IS someone out there. I know that is so what a mother would say... but it's true.

Benjimeister · Mar 17, 2008, 04:59 PM

I don't really think it matters, not at least in a "if someone has slept with x people they are a bad person, or not dateable" sort of way. I personally think its important to discuss things like this with romantic partners, because they should understand each other's feelings towards sex, but as someone who has had many many different partners, I don't think it makes you a bad person at all.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 17, 2008, 05:08 PM

As you asking about how many sex partners at one time?

I think we have to remember the past is the past, many of come from all sorts of backgrounds, some ladies may habe been hookers but latter change their ways and become moving mothers and wives.

And as one who may have lived a wild life in his late teens and early college years, I would hate to be judged by mistakes of my youth.

Alty · Mar 17, 2008, 05:13 PM

You know what they say.

When a man gives you his number of sex partners, subtract by 2.
When a woman gives you're her number multiply by 2.

I'm not saying that's true, but that's the consensus of many.

My number, my husband knows, but I'm not sharing with anyone else. Let's just say, more than 1, less than a million, play around with that.

ISneezeFunny · Mar 17, 2008, 05:25 PM

I'm going to go with 273,092. Why? It's my lucky number.

I thought it was... for a guy's number, divide by 3. for a girl's number... divide by 3.

... so... alty...

834,276...

Alty · Mar 17, 2008, 05:29 PM

I win! No, still not giving you a number.

Either way, what's in the past is in the past. I wouldn't be able to "unlove" someone just because they've been with allot of partners. I guess it does bother some people though.

hollylovesbrandon · Mar 17, 2008, 07:11 PM

Well, I will give you my honest number. 3. One guy was only once (lost my virginity to him) another guy was just a fling and it was only 3 times. And then the man that is my husband. I guess though I am young, and most people would think my number would be lower then those in say their 30's.

Choux · Mar 17, 2008, 08:04 PM

Who talks with a lover about how many sex partners each has had? That's kids' stuff.

You know, life is short, and dead is forever... best to be smart and a good judge of people and enjoy life every day. :)

Alty · Mar 17, 2008, 08:18 PM

Talking about your past experiences is important, STD's are scary, the more partners someone has had the higher chance that they are infected. It's not childish, it's what mature responsible adults should discuss before deciding whether to engage in sex.

Having said that, once you find out the number of people your potential mate has had, it is not fair to judge them, that's in the past, they didn't know you then.

That's all I have to say. Still not giving a number. I will say that MarriedGuy wouldn't have dated me.