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    tmmw's Avatar
    tmmw Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 17, 2016, 05:43 PM
    Step father inappropriately touched adult daughter
    I'm 34 years old. My mom and step father have been together for 20 years, and I've never had an issue with him. In fact, we've always had a great relationship and I've considered him my real dad. Just recently he has made a few inappropriate (yet not direct) sexual comments about the clothes I wore. On another occasion, he stroked my breast, which I thought was an accident at the time. Just a few days ago, he came to my house (we live a few houses away from them), and when he gave me a hug from behind, he kissed my neck and was fondling my breast. I basically froze, because that's the last thing I'd ever expected. What do I do now? Should I tell my mom? I don't want her to be with someone who'd do that to her. I live so close to them, and now I feel so uncomfortable living here. Im nervous about what will happen if I do say something, and if I don't say something. So confused! I've really always seen him as a real father to me.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 3,997, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 17, 2016, 05:59 PM
    I'd have already screamed and yelled at him and told my mom. Period. End of story. Saying nothing implies that this is appropriate behavior, and it is NOT! Get over to their house and tell mom everything. It's not going to be easy, but you must do this. Please let us know how it goes.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,760, Reputation: 5426
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    #3

    Nov 17, 2016, 06:09 PM
    I agree with teacherjenn. And as an added note, if he has never made any inappropriate moves toward you in the past, this just might be a sign of a developing physical or more likely mental/emotional/aging problem.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Nov 17, 2016, 06:34 PM
    I agree with Teacherjenn.

    What did you do the many times he's been inappropriate with you recently? Did you say something to him or did you just accept it and let it happen?

    Time to speak up. You're not a child, you and he are both adults. What would you do if some guy in a bar touched your breast or kissed your neck? You'd likely go nuts on him, right? So why was the step father allowed to get away with this behavior?

    I would expect a child or young teen to be confused about this, but not a 34 year old woman. You don't have to accept this behavior, so do something about it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,881, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Nov 18, 2016, 07:26 AM
    You are 34 years old, and quite capable of setting boundaries of good behavior between you and your father in law (OR ANYONE ELSE for that matter). DO SO, and don't be intimidated or confused. Bringing in mom should be a last resort in my view, given you have not disclosed if you have tried to handle your own business yourself.

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