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sweetpea1000 · May 21, 2007, 04:58 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for about 3+ years. We've lived together for the past 9 months and for the past 6 we've had sex 2x. I'm a very sexual person and he use to be. We use to have a very healthy sex life. Those 2 times we attempted to have sex, but we never completed the act, you understand what I am saying. I've asked if something's wrong with me, he says no. I've asked if I could do something different, he says no.
He does say that he's overweight. Now, I've gained some weight too, but I've been hitting the gym for the past 2 months, 6 times a week... I can't get him to get motivated. He use to be a personal trainer when I 1st met him, he understands that adding on the pounds could be the reason, but that's not enough motivation for him. He's consumed with his job and never comes to bed. That's another reason maybe for his condition. I've thought of depression and job stress too.

I've tried just about everything and I'm stumped. I'm an smart, attrative woman (even a little overweight) and I get hit on regularly. Why do I feel like the most ugly stupid woman in the world.

I love this man deaply and I want to stay with him so I am willing to try everything and anything I can to help him.

He pretty much knows what he needs to do, but I can't get him motivated. Not to mention this man doesn't like going to doctors and doesn't believe in taking medication regularly. Tough one...

Xrayman · May 21, 2007, 05:53 PM

You sound willing to do anything, yet he can't be bothered... the job sounds like it is getting in the way and he is becoming too engrossed in work rather than you.

Don't feel bad, I think pride maybe holding him back from admitting he has a problem-heart issues could hold the key-get him to get or do it himself (he should have some idea if he was a PT at one stage)-get his heart checked blood pressure I mean-mmm. A doctor might suggest some excersise

Cheers

smoothy · May 22, 2007, 04:55 AM

Maybe the seriousness of you leaving him will be a wake-up call. If he hasn't literally done squat in 6 months something is seriously up... medical or otherwise. Can't blame job stress thor that long, stress or not he's going to get horny. He likely has real medical problems that need addressed, Either that or he's knocking the bottom very regularly elsewhere.

iupetre · May 22, 2007, 07:19 AM

Yeah, he needs to understand your needs. Oil to ease the friction in a relationship is communication and compromise. Talk to him. It doesn't sound like he will be able to have sex as often as you, but he should be willing - better yet - wanting to be intimate with you.

This also maybe a symptom of another more serious problem, which is why you need to talk to him about it. You must convey the seriousness of this to him.