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mickayla3 · May 15, 2007, 02:55 PM

Is this against any rules/laws? A friend on my mothers message board said CPS was telling her that she has to have her 4mo old son in his own room, even though he sleeps in his own crib in their room. She doesn't want him to be that far away because she breastfeeds and also is uncomfortable with it.

Are there any specific rules or is CPS just harassing her? What options does she have? Should she move the crib for the visit and then move it back later?

I should add she's not an abusive mom, she has PPD and talked to a psychologist who turned her into CPS because she isn't taking medication because she's breast feeding. It seems she is trying to do the best she can and they are trying to mandate what they feel instead of listening to her rights.

Thanks for any help!

vlee · May 15, 2007, 05:07 PM

Sorry, I have no experience with cps involvement with a woman suffering ppd. However, there is nothing illegal about having an infant share a room with a parent. I don't know anyone who didn't have their newborn in a bassinet in their room for the first few months. Maybe they are afraid she will hurt the baby, but it sounds ridiculous to me. She should consider bottle feeding and taking the meds though... if she does, I bet cps would have to back off.

tawnynkids · May 16, 2007, 08:37 AM

Sounds to me that CPS is just harassing her. There is no law against a child sleeping in their own crib in the same room as the parents! In fact there are products made specifically for babies to sleep directly next to the parents bed, and also in their bed. No I would not change to bottle feeding! I have 6 children, been in and out of court on custody issues and there is no law against this. All of my children slept in my room. The only trouble may be if the baby is sleeping directly in the bed without any protection from being smothered.

Sounds to me like she needs a new psychologist as well. If it is deemed unsafe for her to take meds by her physician/pediatrician then the psychologist is unduly causing trouble for mom.

tawnynkids · May 16, 2007, 11:43 AM

I second the new doc suggestion. I am sure there are safe meds out there while breastfeeding.

peytonsma08 · Jan 1, 2009, 12:27 PM

I got to know a CPS social worker personally over a year ago when I was encouraged to petition for custody of my niece. She has a child about the same age of my oldest daughter about 3 and a half years old. I was complaining that my daughter at the time not quite 2 yet was sleeping with my husband and I... I spoke to her back in September after giving birth to my 2nd daughter and told her I was thrilled because I had finally gotten my daughter in her own bed but still in my room. Her son sleeps with her and her husband in the same bed nightly. That's where they feel comfortable with him. Did I mention she is a CPS worker?!

N0help4u · Jan 1, 2009, 02:25 PM

CPS doesn't care once they want to make a problem about something whether it is common or not. Once they get hold of you they make it a problem. So I would change to bottle feeding and put the baby in their own room just to get them off your back.
They make the rules as they go and the Judge listens to them and your words and actions mean nothing.
I even had caseworkers tell me they could lie in court and it was okay cause it was up to me to prove different. Actually you can't prove different because their word is all the Judge cares about.
I even had them in my house discussing how the news had a story about a woman getting turned into CYS for smacking their child in a parking lot of a store. They went on and on about how horrible it was. Then someone mentioned it was a CYS worker and their daughter. All of a sudden their tune changed and they started saying 'I guess everybody has their days'. Then it was no longer a big deal and they felt sorry for the woman.

dontknownuthin · Jan 1, 2009, 03:17 PM

I think she needs a new doctor, and she needs to have legal representation as well. She can get it if she cannot afford it through her local office of Legal Aid or Legal Assistance. Post Partum is not a crime, it's an illness that is very treatable and normally a short-term form of depression from my understanding (I am not a doctor). There's a possibility that the social worker thinks she needs to put the baby in a different room as part of a treatment plan (perhaps she sees a need for the mom to have some time alone, and a better quality of sleep), so she should clarify that it is being requested as a mandate and not just a counseling suggestion.

Another consideration could be if there is something unsafe or inappropriate in the master bedroom. Is there a space heater too close for safety or something like that?

If it's a normal room as it sounds, it is very normal to put a young infant who's breast feeding in the parent's room in a crib or basinette - I would even say it's typical to do so. My friends and I all had our infants in basinettes when they were young infants, and from the beginning put them down in their own rooms for naps in their cribs. As they were weaned, we transitioned to them to sleeping in their own rooms all the time. To me it's a weird thing to take issue with.

It sounds to me like a social worker who has strong personal feelings about children being in their own rooms, and is taking it to an unreasonable degree. The old, "The way I did for my children is the only way to go!" mentality.

N0help4u · Jan 1, 2009, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Why is social services involved? Was the child in danger at some point? Was there a serious incident like a suicide attempt or neglect or things of that nature? THose things can change a lot of the other circumstances and the roll of family services.

Because the mother quit taking her psychotropic drugs so she could breastfeed.

dontknownuthin · Jan 1, 2009, 03:27 PM

Were there serious issues documented off the drugs? Was the baby safe? Was she safe?

If the depression is an issue, perhaps she should consider weaning the baby soon as the baby has already benefitted greatly from the breastfeeding, and will also benefit from her mother being emotionally sound, so she can go back on her meds soon.

If she's had serious episodes, I would say that going off the meds to breast feed sounds like a bad choice. Breast feeding is ideal, but not at the cost of a mother with a psychotic breakdown, or who's too depressed to care for the baby, or who is a danger to herself or her child. Generations of kids have had formula (including me - it was not common to breast feed in the US when I was born) and have been perfectly healthy.

One good thing though is that she must have a good bond with the baby to be breastfeeding - sometimes PPD stands in the way of that bond taking place.