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flower2012 · May 8, 2012, 05:13 PM

I'm a 29 female with a 5 yr old son in my first relationship with a female. Sometimes it feels right sometimes it don't. She has done nothing but good for me and my son love her to death. Sometimes it does it feel like a family because I don't have a man in my home. We been together about 3 months. I just don't know

Alty · May 8, 2012, 05:20 PM

I'm sorry, I really wish we could answer this for you, but this one is all on you. We can't tell you how to feel, or tell you what your sexual orientation is. That's not in anyone's power but yours.

I can only wish you the best in figuring this out.

Good luck. :)

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2012, 05:49 PM

Any relationship at 3 months does not always feel right or good. If you have sexual desires for a person of the same sex, and not the other, you are lesbian, if you have desires for both you are bi.

That is the simple part,

Finding the right person is not easy, no matter man or women, since you are not with the sons father, I guess at some point he did not seem right either

WisperWill70 · May 10, 2012, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by flower2012

I'm a 29 female with a 5 yr old son in my first relationship with a female. Sometimes it feels right sometimes it don't. She has done nothing but good for me and my son love her to death. Sometimes it does it feel like a family because I don't have a man in my home. We been together bout 3 months. I just don't know

That's right -- any relationship that is 3 months old doesn't always feel right and good-- no matter the gender of the person involved, relationships are a playground for our insecurities and fears especially if kids are involved.

Ask yourself whether your feelings are because something you learned or were conditioned to expect (a home is not complete without a man in the house) or whether this is something you're really feeling on your own, without other people's expectations or influences in the mix. Question your thoughts. In the end, in ANY relationship, you're going to have to fly solo from what other people think, from what you've been taught and what you expect based on the past. Sometimes you're going to have to use your heart "muscle" and find out what's true just for you and your family as if nothing else matters. The next time you feel insecure focus on what IS (actually!) happening -- and if it's that your girlfriend is loving and supportive and your kids love her - yay! What a blessing.

joypulv · May 10, 2012, 01:13 AM

A lot of people believe that sexual orientation is fixed and unchanging; we are gay, straight or bi, and that's it for life. Other people believe that it's changeable. There are so many shades of 'preference.' A strong influence from a caring person might be enough to convince someone to stay with that person, regardless of gender, especially if you feel lost and confused and wanting love.