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Nydaa93 · Apr 30, 2012, 10:09 PM

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for some time now, and we recently moved in together. The sex at first wa great, she was always interested and was happy to go for 2 or 3 times a day. But now she just doesn't want to. I'm lucky if it happens once every 2 or 3 das. Every time I start to come on to her she just says she is tired or acts all sleepy. Sometimes she just says no also though. My sexual needs are not being met and sometimes I feel that there is something wrong with me for being so horny. I'm 19 and she is 18. I have no idea why our sex life is so boring while we are both still so young.

Synnen · Apr 30, 2012, 10:21 PM

Because life doesn't revolve around sex.

Being tired is a libido killer. So is thinking your SO only wants you for sex.

So is pressure to have more sex.

So most likely YOU are her biggest libido killer.

You have a hand---use it for those times she is too tired. She doesn't exist to meet your sexual "needs"

Fr_Chuck · May 1, 2012, 07:14 AM

You are 19 year old boy, so yes you will be "horny" all the time, Sex 2 or 3 times a day is not realistic to real people who have to work or go to school and have a real life. It may be vacation, or special time, but sex is the smaller part of a real relationship, if you base it on sex, it will never last.

SentientAndroid · May 1, 2012, 07:19 AM

Yeah that's just normal, get used to it. I think men are just programmed/wired to "require" sex almost on a daily basis as opposed to women. A small percentage of women are ready to go on a frequent basis, but they're the exception to the rule, not the norm.

SentientAndroid · May 1, 2012, 07:21 AM

And to add, sex is almost ALWAYS going to be probably 3 times as frequent in the beginning stages of a relationship compared to a year or more into it.

Nydaa93 · May 1, 2012, 10:20 PM

Syennen you are probably right. I will start jerking off and I won't come on to her anymore and just wait for her to initiate it. Thank you.

CoruptedAngel · May 2, 2012, 12:36 AM

Hmmm I don't know if I agree with any of you'r answers. I have read a few questions on here about this and everyone is telling the one doing without the one they love touching them loving them etc. to "Go jerk off" or "Rub one out"! Excuse me why do that. The one having the problem isn't doing wrong if they just aren't feeling it (to tired, depression, new job) whatever it may be but you can not just say go tend to yourself every single time someone is wanting their SO!! There has got to be a medium (meeting place) COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!! Be open, be honest and loving about the situation. Whatever side of the fence you are on. It is very hard when you are made to feel you'r "SO" isn't wanting you the same anymore. But "No" do not go jerk off or rub one out. Sit down and talk. If you keep it one sided... It will fail!

SentientAndroid · May 2, 2012, 07:12 AM

I understand where you're coming from Angel, but it's not that simple. A man's drive is usually much higher than a woman's and eventually a guy is going to start getting shut down and rejected on a frequent basis, I've been there before. I feel that I'm a romantic guy, but occasional bubble baths, candles, rose petals, cooked meals and a foot massage didn't do much to get my ex in the mood after a few years together. And not to brag, but I took care of her very thoroughly in the bedroom, tended to her every needs, and she eventually still lost interest.

I'm honestly convinced that no matter what you do and how you do it, time is the ultimate libido killer in women. That's just my opinion. 3-4 years later I still wanted my ex every other day, she wanted me once a month :/ I didn't gain weight. I didn't lose weight. I looked pretty much exactly how I looked at the end of our relationship the way that I did when we first met. I'm fairly certain that the issues that lead to us breaking up primarily stemmed from her lack or want to be intimate with me. Too much or too little of anything can cause issues in a relationship, everything needs balance and not just in a relationship, but in life in general.

CoruptedAngel · May 2, 2012, 12:03 PM

I know all of where you are coming from. As now I am where you were. Only my boyfriend sex drive has depleted but I believe his issues are mentally based. Due to other circumstances. And in time I hope will go away (with help) and we will return to normal. Cause I miss him dearly though I live with him and I'm with him all the time.

Too much or too little of anything can cause issues in a relationship, everything needs balance and not just in a relationship, but in life in general.

I love what you said there and that is very true. I'm trying to get that balance back for us now.

Good luck in everything

C.Angel