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hamildsmith · Apr 24, 2009, 12:47 PM

My girlfriend and I had a Huge argument last night. In which I blew up I yelled and screamed and I also said things that I really didn't mean. We talked a little bit today, and she said that I have to learn from my mistakes. She also said that if I wanted to end it today she would be fine with that. She has put all of our plans on hold but she still wants to work this out with so she said. From what I said How can I fix my relationship with her I still love her and really want to be with her. Also she still talks to her ex boyfriend either texts him or calls him they do talk to each other he knows the situation that happened last night between us how do I weather the storm. What can I do to save us.:confused::confused::(:(:(

Threads merged and edited.

So here it is in a nut shell. When we first got together we talked about getting married having a baby you know starting a family. We started fighting after we came from the doctor and we found out she had to have surgery in order for us to have children. I told her that I will be there for her let me take care of her. One thing I left out before is she is 34 I'm 30 she's told me on more than one occasion that I'm a high risk and she is use to another life. Know I have given her everything I have and she still isn't happy. With me she still talkes to her ex's and I don't think its fair. She has told me that she has recently stopped talking to them. But only god knows which one it truly is. Please give me your thoughts Im loving I try to be romantic with her talk to her and everything but she just wouldn't open up no matter what I do.

I wish · Apr 24, 2009, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by hamildsmith

She also said that if I wanted to end it today she would be fine with that.

If she already feels that way, some might say that you should break up instead of dragging things out because she has already started moving on in her mind. At the same time, she's still willing to give you a chance.

There's no one thing that you can do to fix all your problems. She made it clear that you need to learn from your mistakes. Start by not making the same mistake twice.

If there are things about your personality that she can't take, then you're just going to have to change. You'll have to hope that she's going to be patient for you.

kctiger · Apr 24, 2009, 12:54 PM

Fix the way you react to situations... it is pretty easy. If you learn from your mistakes, you get better. If you don't you will fail on a regular basis. Work on your issues. Let the rest fall into place.

talaniman · Apr 25, 2009, 06:17 PM

You don't need to yell and scream to express yourself, so that needs to be worked on, but what triggered the bad behavior? Her ex?

ylaira · Apr 25, 2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by hamildsmith

She also said that if I wanted to end it today she would be fine with that. She has put all of our plans on hold but she still wants to work this out with so she said.
(

The way I understand it, you're still together and you're just not that romantic to each other at this point.

Just say sorry about what you did. Mean it, speak from your heart and don't rationalize things.

Don't expect she'll be sweet again in 24-48 hours after doing it because trust me, before she close her eyes at night, what happened just plays like a movie in her head so be patient.

Best if you give her a break and ask her again what she thinks about your future.

Trust her decision. If she loves you enough she'll choose you over Brad Pitt. If she decides to leave then, let her go.

hamildsmith · Apr 29, 2009, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You don't need to yell and scream to express yourself, so that needs to be worked on, but what triggered the bad behavior?? Her ex?

Yeah it was her ex

talaniman · Apr 29, 2009, 03:05 PM

If you can't handle who she talks to, leave.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever start a relationship, when the your partner is still involved with the ex.

How long have you been together?? Do you live together? How old are you?

none12345 · Apr 29, 2009, 03:08 PM

Sometimes people becomes friends with their ex and doesn't mean anything and sometimes they are still hung up on each other while they are with someone else. Find out which one it is and go from there.

hamildsmith · May 6, 2009, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

If you can't handle who she talks to, leave.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever start a relationship, when the your partner is still involved with the ex.

How long have you been together?? Do you live together? How old are you?

We've been topgether for 2 months. Yes we live together. And I'm 30 years old

talaniman · May 6, 2009, 10:29 AM

You live with someone you have been going with for two months?? Unbelievable.

No wonder there is tension and conflict. Your two strangers getting to know each other.

Romefalls19 · May 6, 2009, 10:45 AM

Living with someone is stressful, especially getting used to it. So you don't know this women well, at all and have her living with you. You are learning all of her little quirks and problems now, rather than having good stability.

You need to learn proper communication skills, it is possible to convey your point without yelling and screaming.

Too much too soon, crash and burn.

COOKIE MONSTER · Jun 2, 2009, 06:45 AM

If you give her everything and she's still not happy then I think your wasting your time.
No matter what you do or give this women she won't be happy.
I don't understand why she keeps telling you your high risk,high risk how?

alana1xxx · Jun 2, 2009, 06:56 AM

OK so first of all don't even think of brining an innocent child into this situation until it is completely resolved you have to be secure in a relationship before taking the huge step of bringing a child into the world.

In response to her talking to her ex boyfriends, this really shouldn't be a problem for you if you truly love and trust her then her keeping in touch with people who once were an important part in her life is fine there is such a thing as friends and forcing her to loose contact could push her further away, you don't want her to think you are controlling or possessive, now please understand that I am giving this 06.ce not knowing the full story maybe she has given you reason not to trust her with these ex boyfriends? And in that case it is an entirely different story.

When you say she thinks you are a big risk what exactly does that mean?
Is that supposed to suggest that she can do better then you or the relationship you have?
There really doesn't seem to be good communication between you two, I would advise that you sit down with her and ak her face to face where she sees your relationship going she is giving off very mixed signals one minute she wants your child the next she is unsure about your relationship?
Goodluck and keep us updated
:)

roxypox · Jun 2, 2009, 06:57 AM

How long have the two of you been together? From one of your previous threads it seems that you were single and in love with a married woman back in February...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ed-187928.html

That's not that long ago?

So It would be great if you could answer some questions...

1.How long have the two of you been together (as a couple)?
2. How long have you known each other?
3. What do you see as the main problems in your realationship?
(I ask this because I found your post a bit hard to read... she lies about x boyfriends? She isn't happy... )

It does seem from your post that if she isn't happy then what more can you do? Is it worth it?

Have you talked to her about the way you feel?

also, some people use along time when it comes to opening up...

talaniman · Jun 2, 2009, 10:45 AM

You left out how long you have been together in your latest thread, which is a few months. And your living together.

As I see it, your problems have more to do with to people rushing in to something and expecting it to work smoothly.

All the problems your having is from not taking the time to know each other, and resolving your issues, before moving in together.

Another thing is providing feedback will get more feedback, and eliminate the need to repeat the same question under another thread, which confuses the readers.

hamildsmith · Jun 3, 2009, 07:46 AM

We have been together for 4 months know and it has been rocky we have none each other since November of last year. To me the main problem is her talking to her ex he still wants her and most of the conversations that they have is about her coming back She also has stuff over there and every time I ask her to move it into another storage unit or my place something comes upknow she says she going to do it next Saturday.I have talked to her but she contiuously tells me that she doesn't care that she's not going to let me make her feel bad I don't know why she feels that way but as most people say IT IS WHAT IT IS!!

Originally Posted by roxypox

How long have the two of you been together? from one of your previous threads it seems that you were single and in love with a married woman back in February....

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ed-187928.html

That's not that long ago?

So It would be great if you could answer some questions....

1.How long have the two of you been together (as a couple)?
2. How long have you known each other?
3. What do you see as the main problems in your realationship?
(I ask this because I found your post a bit hard to read.... she lies about x boyfriends? She isn't happy...)

It does seem from your post that if she isn't happy then what more can you do? Is it worth it?

Have you talked to her about the way you feel?

also, some people use along time when it comes to opening up....

talaniman · Jun 3, 2009, 07:56 AM

Not only does she keep one foot out the door, she is keeping the door to the ex open as well. Not a good place to be for you.

roxypox · Jun 3, 2009, 11:40 AM

Yeah she really has one foot out the door, and one foot in with the x...

You've only been together for 4 months, and if its already rocky... and has been for a while (out of 4 months) then is it worth it? Can you really see a silver lining to this? Also if she doesn't want to make any compromise to stuff like this... well... (of course I only know your side of the story... ) Maybe you need to consider if this relationship is really worth it!