[Wondering Why]

Why do mothers hate their children?

[Lula001]

Eh? Who is saying that they do? I certainly don't, granted there are times when I would love to lock them in a (well ventilated) box for a few hours for some peace, but I don't hate them, I don't even dislike them.

[Synnen]

What makes you think that mothers hate their children?

Are you thinking your mother hates you for some reason?

[NeedKarma]

They don't. Do you have any proof of this?

[curlybenswife]

PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFfTTTTTTTT I don't hate my children I might dislike them sometimes but then that's the same of all the human race or as my mother in law says just because I love you doesn't mean I have to like the way you act...
There is obviously a reason for you saying this id be inclined to ask you what you have done to provoke such a reaction?

[rickheel]

When we make them do things they don't want to do they act like they hate us. They don't. The will thank you for being the parent later in life.

[Emland]

She doesn't hate you, and I'm pretty sure you don't hate her either. I am assuming you are talking about your own mother here.

I think the strong feelings that erupt during tween/teen years are just a normal part of growing up and becoming your own person.

I can remember screaming horrible things about my mother into a pillow as a teen. Couldn't tell you right now what it was for. Hopefully your feelings will change as you mature and see things from a different perspective.

[spitvenom]

My mom loves me. My dad on the other hand he just really started to talk to me and I just turned 30 I'm dead serious about that. I wouldn't say he hated me but he never really spent any time with me. The only time he would talk to me is when he would yell about my report card.

Even when I graduated from college they were both there and my mom forced him to say he was proud of me. And that came out as a low mumble. But we are cool now. I wish I wasn't so successful now then I could blame it on him. Or maybe I am successful because he never helped me out, I always had to learn everything on my own. Hmmmmm Maybe next time I see him I'll give him a big hug and say thanks oh man that would make him so uncomfortable.

[WeAreLost]

My Mom not only hates me but decided sometime after her husband died that her life would change greatly. Hitting the ground on a sprint, she was helping out for several years since my wife had a stroke and is aphasiac (not remembering how2 to read and write she was a school teacher and not able to say words that are on the tip of her tongue they just don't come out, among other problems, seizures seizures.)My Mom started helping I could always depend on her. The fact that my kids were so cute loving sweet as sugar two girls now age 17 and 23 the oldest I never have had a minute of a problem then, before my Mom started to help me. She's in law school and engaged to primed guy a great guy I cAN say. THE FACT THAT MANY TIMES MY MOM WOULD SAY HOW HER AND MY DAD ONLY WANTED A DAUGHTER, IF THE FIRST WAS A GIRL THAT WAS THE PLAN SHE SAYS MANY TIMES FOUR BOYS LATER DIVORSED AND MOVED AWAY MARRIED AGAIN TO THE GUY WHO DIED OK, THE BOTH WOULD SAY HOW DID YOU GET BLESSED WITH 2 PERFECT KIDS, I MEAN THE APPEARED TO BE PERFECT TO MY MOM. WELL WHAT HAPPENED LATER ON IS A TOTAL SURPRISE TO ME. She kicked me out of her home because I dropped ashes on her neighbor below, she was embarrassed, she could make a waitress cry for something stupid with her big mouth be a total control freak but ashes and besides the ashes I burned a pan I left on one night. OK she throws me out by now Im disabled lost my business and my home because I kept trying to fix a big problem I had with my retail fabric stores, employee theft. In the end my Mom said come home its more important to be there for your kids than staying at work all night, don't worry you will never starve you know that. OK now Im out for 4 years my oldest went to college and I only moved a quarter mile down the street and my mom was mean to begin with when she wanted now she wanted my kids and for me to disappear. At first I hear you don't understand Daddy whenever you argue with her she takes it out on us really you wouldn't believe it. She say to me when the kids were there something like what happened to the lamps I gave you that were my m9others I guess you sold those. I felt bad but she would jerk me around making me look like a good for nothing in her eyes. If the kids added in something shed say then you can go live with your father with what he makes. Now its fathers day Sunday and I don't know if Ill see them. I just came out of surgery 2 days ago and feel like killing myself the way I feel. I could go on my Moms bottom line from the beginning is she needed back up back up came in the form of my two kids to be bought and paid for by excessive shopping and no discipline for the youngest, she's happy so is my eldest and so is my Mom and my wife who lives in an ALF and I can't get well Im messed up I was the best father ever I did everything they were my life not going to bring them up like MOM never has said I love you ever.

[taytortot]

Um... parents shouldn't hate their chldren but WHY DO CHICLDREN HATE THERE PARNTS!

[lrhall41]

As a parent of both, a boy and a girl I can certainly say that I have never HATED or NOT LOVED either one. They are young adults now, and even if I don't agree with their decisions, I have to bite my tongue and let them figure it out. It is really hard for a parent see that you "child' is making the wrong decision, but limike mine, they want to learn from experience. I get dissapointed at them, but I would ever hate them.
PS: Mine are not angels... they have their share of issues too... but I love them regardless...

[Alty]

I love both my kids, not matter what they do. Sure, once in a while I could use
A break, doesn't anyone? Motherhood is a 24/7 job, no lunch break, no coffee break,
Sometimes you need a break! But hate, no way, never.

[maliceluvsyou]

Mothers never hate their children. They might hate or dislike their actions or behaivor but never their own flesh in blood. I don't hate my girls or dislike them. They drive me nuts but when I think about it, I like that they are here with me driving me kookoo ;)

[Fadingxlullaby]

Sometimes it may come off that way to the child but depending on the situation they are generally just trying to protect their children. I can remember times when I thought my parents hated me but when I got older and had kids of my own I realized that they were just trying to do what they thought was best for me at the time. However there are some parents (a rare few) that are completely wacko and need to be institutionalized for things they do to their kids. There is no real way to tell which scenario best fits your question.

[okinok]

Who knows why?

I used to ask this question myself. I was my mother's third and unwanted child. During my childhood, she used to make comments like she wished the court moved faster or that if only she got pregnant a few months later. As a teenager, I realized my mother was referring to the Roe V Wade situation. I was born just after the court verdict. She wished she could have aborted me. There were other comments about how perfect her family was before me, one boy and one girl, and how she never had depression or weight gain until after she had me or how difficult I was to take care of. Her attitude towards me rubbed off on my siblings (my father died when I was young) and they treated me very cruelly when they even spoke with me. I had a lonely and sad childhood.

As an adult, I've watched my mother pay for my sister's wedding, give both my siblings money for down payments on their homes, purchase 2 cars for my brother, pay to furnish my sister's new home. I didn't get any of these things from her. I also learned that I'm not mentioned in her will.

The one time I did ask for financial help, I was ripped apart, told how worthless I was, and of course, told no. It was at that time that I decided to forgive her, realize she wasn't going to change, and accept her. My relationship with her is polite and respectful, but I don't call her. As a result, I rarely speak with her or my siblings, and that's okay.

It's kind of funny, a few weeks ago, my eldest daughter asked me what did I like or dislike about the way I was raised and what have I done similar or changed. I really couldn't find anything positive about my mother. I was honest with my daughter and told her I don't mother her and her siblings like I was mothered.

Maybe my mother doesn't hate me, maybe it's just that my siblings are her favorites and I'm not.

In closing, I have to say becoming a mother myself has healed me. My advice would be to forgive your parent or parents. Remember, forgiving doesn't me you want that person in your life. Forgive and forget might just mean we are to forgive the offender and forget them, too.

[Klaipeda]

That's true-mothers may act as if they hate children as there is cartain behaviour that one cannot explain why mothers act in this way,for example not helping her child when she can; taking advantage of her child,bulying her daughter emotionally and psychologically etc.. If that's a love it's very strange then- doen't benefit the 'loved' daughter and even does not fit into the frame called LOVE..

[N0help4u]

When a mother truly hates their kid(s) it is usually because they are miserable with their own life. They then take it out on the kid.

[Jake2008]

I can see why parents hate their children.

There is no magic set of dna connections that make you love your children. Some parents are parents that shouldn't be, and resentment causes hateful feelings. Some people in other cultures hate their daughters as a way of punishing themselves for not having the expected sons. Some mothers hate their children because the pregnancy was accidental, or a result of rape or incest, and their lives were essentially taken from them, and they are being punished for 18 years.

You can start loving a baby, but grow to hate him when reality sinks in that feelings of extreme distress, mental illness, abusive situations are turned around to blame the baby. Many mothers have killed their children as a way to gain back their identities and lives.

And while it is, in my opinion, possible to hate your own children, most get over the ups and downs and extreme ends between, of coping with raising a child, and love comes through.

I also think it's possible to hate them and love them at the same time.

We see that in adult relationships too.

There is no guarantee that everybody will have motherly instincts, or feel bonding, or love for their offspring. For some it is overwhelming joy and happiness, but not for all.

Sometimes 'love' for offspring is just an increase in the welfare cheque.

[kissmemama123]

um....parents shouldnt hate their chldren but WHY DO CHICLDREN HATE THERE PARNTS!

I know same thing I was going to say