[Tuscany]

I just got off the phone with my mom (and best friend). She is at a wine camp for ladies at a lake near our hometown. That might seem weird, but wine is a hobby of my mom's (and now mine). My mom lost my dad when she was only 42 (he was 47), since that time she has really surprised me. She tries new and different things, when my dad was alive she was not much of a risk taker, now she is game at trying anything... to a point. That is why when she said she was going to go to this wine camp from Monday - Thursday this week I thought it was great. That was until I got off the phone with her 20 minutes ago.

My mom was near tears when she called me. She said that while she is enjoying the classes and the relaxation, the nights are really tough for her. She is not home sick, she is being bullied by 40-60 year old women in her cabin. And I mean BULLIED! She is in a cabin with women that have been there before and instead of welcoming her in, they are excluding her. Last night when she entered the common area of the cabin with a glass of wine one actually asked her if she had anything better to do and the entire group got up and left. She had met this really nice lady at this one class and she had asked my mom to come and visit her at her cabin. She went this morning after breakfast, and another lady in that cabin would not let her in.

I feel so bad for my mom. I thought women grew up and out grew th petty high school cliques. I could not believe it when she was telling me this. It is breaking my heart that she is there by herself. I told her next year I would go with her. She said that she would never come back. That the classes are not worth the long nights and the nastiness of the women around her.

My mom does not exaggerate, so I know that it has to be THAT bad. She actually said to me "H now I know why you always say men make the best of friends."

How can grown women act so petty? I don't understand how women could still act like spoiled little brats at the age of 50. Come on, get over high school already.

Sorry I had to vent..

[LearningAsIGo]

That is rotten! I'm sorry those jerks are ruining her trip.

[GlindaofOz]

Geez it happens even when we got OLDER! YIKES!

For some reason when a group of women get together it can resort back down to junior high cliques. I've seen smart, confident, successful 30-something dissolves into the most petty human beings possible. Some women can turn into this juvenile petty state and some women are just juvenile and petty no matter what the age.

Be glad that your mom is mature! Also, just as my mom told me when I was in grammar school getting bullied that bully's bully those they are jealous of. So your mom must look great for her age, be an interesting person to talk to, be pretty knowledgeable at the subject of this retreat. Tell her to remind herself of this and to feel pity that those girls will not get the chance to be her friend.

[Emland]

What a bunch of old bitties. I agree with GlindaofOz. They must feel threatened by her.

I can understand why she wouldn't want to go back. I would definitely write a letter to the organizers because I bet your mom is too nice to say anything.

[Tuscany]

I have to spread the love Glinda, but you are so right. My mom is beautiful, (most think she is my sister not my mom), and caring and all that that you said. But, then I am bias. It is funny, your first statement "It happens when we get older" is the very thing I thought when she started telling me what was going on.

I guess I was sort of hoping that women like this would grow up and learn that life is to short for all of the drama. For God sakes it is so much easier to be welcoming and kind then mean and nasty.

Emland, you are right, she never would write a letter.

[GlindaofOz]

I guess some women never grow out of being threatened or feeling insecure.

I never understood that I'd always rather be kind and welcoming then act like an idiot.

[Emland]

Some like to be queens of their own personal domains and will act like jerks if they feel like someone else will diminish their power.

[Tuscany]

Thank you both for listening :)

[ordinaryguy]

It sounds to me like they have a bad case of arrested development. Some people arrive at a point in the growth and maturation process and then, for whatever reason--fear, usually--just decide to stop. Of course, you can't stop the calendar and there's nothing quite so silly looking as a middle aged person acting like a pre-teen. And it's not just women who are prey to this folly.

[Tuscany]

Oh OG you are so right. But why is it that women seem to fall for it more often then men?

I just heard from her again. She is doing OK and decided that instead of going to dinner and sitting by herself she is going to go to a friends' winery and then to their house for dinner. She will go back tomorrow for two more classes, but decided that she did not need another evening like she had last night.

[ordinaryguy]

But why is it that women seem to fall for it more often then men?

I don't think they do, really, but their immaturities might take different forms than men's do. Instead of gossip and backbiting, men are more likely to engage in braggadocio and trash talk, taking and making stupid dares, and engaging in foolish competitions.

[Homegirl 50]

I can't relate to or understand this. I have never encountered older women acting like that. I'm 54 and don't know anyone who behaves that way.
Maybe they are just a group of lonely stuck-up women who get a kick out of intimidating a woman who is not in their cliché. That is really pitiful.

[nicespringgirl]

Are they educated? They are problly stay home gossips.

I think to be a successful woman besides of being ambitious also must be drama free.

All those dramas, hatres are sick. Get over with it, it's worse than cancer!

Tell your mum that we hold her back! Don't need to hang out with the jerks any more.